Episode 211 -Empathy Problem: Politely Declining and Offer to Meet

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;32;00
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Aaron. Thanks for joining us on the Moor Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Oh, here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
00;00;32;01 – 00;00;55;21
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Oh, life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Yay! I love us, and I can’t wait to share our stories of the world. especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay.
00;00;55;24 – 00;01;11;27
Unknown
Well, we got all the things. Mike’s looks. Mike’s are a huge investment into your show, so. Yeah. They’re beautiful. This, this, these boom mics. Rebecca doesn’t like when I grab this here. Why don’t you like that? I mean, so normal Friday night free. Okay. Oh that’s it Mike. No no no no no no, on Monday, I don’t mind.
00;01;11;28 – 00;01;34;13
Unknown
I like that new community. it’s like. It’s like I’m at the zoo. Who? 12 year old. Speaking of the zoo, remember when we saw the huge penis walrus? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hey, guys. We’re back. We made it. We made it from our trip. Barely. The cruise hound’s return. oh. We need to do over well, of the cruise.
00;01;34;13 – 00;01;56;13
Unknown
Yeah, it was. It was great. It was great. It was really minus for us. Two days. Me up until the bitter end. But otherwise it was good. It was really good. It was really good. We got we got all the things here, and Rock Fox. So we got these, these new boom mikes. these are really nice.
00;01;56;15 – 00;02;22;09
Unknown
Why are these styrofoam covers so big? Scoff. that’s. Well, those are those are, windscreens. And, that’s just how big they are. Windscreen. Yeah. So you when you pop your piece, it doesn’t thud on to the, you know, in the microphone. Peter Piper picked a peck of pick up in my piece. I don’t and I don’t think we talk about that on this podcast.
00;02;23;10 – 00;02;43;18
Unknown
oh. When you pop your piece, it you don’t hear it as much. If there’s no windscreen, you hear the Michael got the Michael gob pump and they don’t make a bad sound. So we we try to avoid that here. Oh that’s right perfection also because those are in what they call shock mounts okay. The little rubber bands that are holding everything together on the mike holder there.
00;02;43;18 – 00;03;01;02
Unknown
Yeah. That’s so when you guys, do touch the desk and, you know, put things up and down, we won’t hear the rumble that we used to hear on the other one. Can you can you come over to my house and fix my mike? That sounds really interesting, but I don’t think so. Remember when we did the zoom?
00;03;01;02 – 00;03;18;14
Unknown
You’re like, what is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you got to fix my mind. Yeah. He meant you touching the desk. All right. I know I just I’m not really clear your fidget or your touch. Yeah. You’re better. It’s not just. It’s not just Rebecca. It’s everybody. Well, between Rebecca and I, it’s just Rebecca, so. Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
00;03;18;14 – 00;03;37;08
Unknown
I don’t I have a problem where I constantly have to be touching random shit on the desk. We also have this nice nipple cover right over here. this little here, this little picture here, perfectly placed on my left. Now, she got nipple. Oh, there it is. There it is. So that’s. You got that little bug they call a bug.
00;03;37;08 – 00;04;01;23
Unknown
But going on here. Oh, it’s called a nipple bug. Yeah. Now, now, if the left nipple bub. Nope. Nope. Yeah. Love that we got all stuff. So yes, we went till we went on a on a cruise, as you all know. And right before this, Rebecca was asking me to do some, some halos. That’s what. That’s what she needs to do after everything.
00;04;01;23 – 00;04;27;24
Unknown
Every single trip. Not just the trip. Every day we get into that trip, we get into bed. Another ritual is Aaron. Halo. Halo. Yeah, every single one. So we were trying to come up with three highs and three lows. so the first two I think you really nailed. So one of the highs that we had was in Liberty, which is a beautiful island.
00;04;27;24 – 00;04;49;17
Unknown
But yeah, I had a great time. Beautiful. That was a lot of fun. That was when I fell asleep on the chair with my hand on my leg and got a handprint. Sunburn. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. You’re walking meme. Yeah. Yep, yep. that one was great because very early on, my empathy and I met the reservation specialist.
00;04;49;24 – 00;05;16;26
Unknown
The man who gives away the, kayaks likes to sell the kayaks and the blue mats and, the other flotation devices that they all about. Yes. This is an island person. And we got called over. And, you know, I just needed to inquire about the price and the blue mats that we had our little eye on. were $20 apiece for the whole day.
00;05;16;27 – 00;05;34;06
Unknown
That’s that’s a lot. 40 Hondas. Yeah, for two know right. Too much. And I said, thank you very much. Appreciate that. You know, we might be back knowing full well we won’t be back because we’re not paying $40 for that now. So we went we went in the water. We did all the things we were supposed to do.
00;05;34;06 – 00;05;58;26
Unknown
And like eagle eyes, this man spots us. I mean, it’s probably because we’re so good looking in our bathing suits. It’s got to be guy. Yeah, he was there. Yeah. It’s gotta be. Yeah. That’s absolutely it. Yeah. It’s our because it’s hard to miss I said I think they say it’s one of the two. It’s fine. But especially your one bathing suit that says thick thighs save lives.
00;05;58;28 – 00;06;19;02
Unknown
That’s what it says on the bathing suit. That’s right. Right on the titties. Yeah. Right. Right in a bathing suit that looks like. I love both of you so much, you know that. You have any idea how much I love the both of you? It looks like one of those, Baywatch bathing suits. But it says thick thighs safe.
00;06;19;04 – 00;06;37;15
Unknown
It’s like a it’s like a, lifeguard one. But instead of the lifeguard is hilarious. Yeah. It’s great. You have bigger balls than most of the dudes I know. Yeah. Oh, then you haven’t heard this story. Keep going. Oh, please tell me. Getting. So he spots us from across the way, and he comes over again to me in my empathy.
00;06;37;15 – 00;07;00;24
Unknown
And he says, where are you guys going into to lunch. Because they give you lunch for free on the island. And I said, yeah, I think, I think we’re headed over there now. It’s like 1030 in the morning. And she’s on. Yeah. And I food, food. 615, 20 minutes tops. So he says oh you know well enjoy. They, they don’t let us eat the food that they serve you guys.
00;07;00;28 – 00;07;20;23
Unknown
And I said oh say more about that. And I you know, I want to know your ten steps. I’m already like, you’re mad. I have to eat again. I’m mad again that I have to eat. And he says, well, yeah, you know, we’re not allowed to eat the food that they give to the to the cruisers. I said, well, what what do you get to eat?
00;07;20;25 – 00;07;43;00
Unknown
He’s like, oh, just, you know, normal, normal Haitian food. And then he makes like, that’s enough, that’s enough face that this isn’t great. Right? And I said, well, if you could have something to eat, what would it be? And he said, the chicken. And I said, all right, well let me see what I can do here. Right. So we go over, get the food.
00;07;43;00 – 00;07;59;17
Unknown
I’ll be honest. That chicken was a ten out of ten. I know that it was a delish. Lot of things happen when we were at the food place. Yeah, a lot of things happen, but we’ll save that for later in the show. And, big fan of the chicken. And so it gets time to be able to leave.
00;07;59;17 – 00;08;18;05
Unknown
And after we talk to the two really wonderful old women who are sitting next to us who were legit sisters, 18 months apart, exactly like us in their late 80s, just in their late 80s with a cane. So I’m how they can I turn it? I go to Aaron, I go, how much you want to bet sisters are best friends?
00;08;18;05 – 00;08;42;26
Unknown
And then, of course, she had to ask him, right? So I talk to them. So we had a chat with the whole time. It was great. So sweet. Yeah, they were a lot of fun. So after we talked to them, we went back over and I got myself a huge honkin plate for huge pieces of chicken. and it occurs to me, as I was sitting at that table, oh, my God, he wants chicken.
00;08;43;21 – 00;09;08;12
Unknown
I want a balloon, man. I wonder what if this is an opportunity to barter, for services? So I grab that plate and I say to you, watch this. Oh, hold my beer. Yep. And you know I want to die. I’m ten feet back up now. It’s. No, it’s the other direction. Oh, my God, here we go, here we go.
00;09;08;12 – 00;09;28;17
Unknown
She gone. So you do, you boo. Yeah. So you walk completely opposite. You go now over to where it is that we’re sitting. Yeah, I can I took the reservation shack and I have to hang back for a minute behind a tree because one of the women who actually works for the ship. Right. One of the purple shirts, right, is in the reservation booth.
00;09;28;17 – 00;09;51;24
Unknown
And I know well enough my empathy, and I know well enough. Right. We do not present the chicken at this moment because he’s not supposed to have the chicken not clear. He’s not supposed to have the ticket. Right. So I hold back till purple shirt leaves, and I walk up to the reservation booth with my chicken, and I look and stare in the eye, and I say, I do a trade.
00;09;51;27 – 00;10;15;02
Unknown
He said, for what? I said, I give this chicken for a blue mat. He said, oh sure. Yeah, absolutely. Take it now in this moment, complete shock and surprise. I cannot believe that this is work like this is not this doesn’t usually happen to me. Right, right. And I say thank you so much. And then because I had to like overdo it, I said I also cut you two things.
00;10;15;02 – 00;10;35;12
Unknown
The silverware like anyone gives a shit, nobody cares. Right? So I hand him his chicken, hand him his two things of silverware, and I grab a blue mat and I run over to you like it’s Christmas morning. I know, and I start getting thing over my head, and I know I’m doing this, that we would be in no.
00;10;35;12 – 00;10;57;02
Unknown
My food, I don’t know. Look what mama got. Mama was married. One man. We gotta share that back. We gotta lay together. We gotta. We go to the mat, right? And you’re like, oh my God, how you get that? I said, stick with me. That’s right. I know all the tricks. Let’s toe in the water. So no no no no no.
00;10;57;09 – 00;11;13;04
Unknown
You put on the sunscreen. Oh yeah. And then you’re like I got let so good. That’s true. So you lay down. That’s true. Then you stand up to go in the water. Yeah. And what does he say. And then he goes, excuse me, excuse me. Oh, no. He’s Spanish. Right. Excuse me. Do doot doot doot with his finger.
00;11;13;04 – 00;11;30;16
Unknown
Right. And I’m like, oh no. Right. He’s gonna tell me. He’s gonna tell me. Purple shirt came back and said he couldn’t, he couldn’t give it to me or he’s going to be like, go get me some corn cakes. I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what happens. But I took my chances. I went, oh you know I stayed right on my.
00;11;30;21 – 00;11;57;21
Unknown
Oh yeah I’m not a die. No I know took my chances. What does he say to me. Do you need a second one for your friend. And I said for free. And he said, yeah I said, I sure do. Yeah, yeah I sure do, sir. Do. And he says, in the most beautiful moment of empathy, you take care of me, I’ll take care of you.
00;11;57;23 – 00;12;20;06
Unknown
That. Yeah, it’s frickin empathy. Right. So you walk over with that man. I come back with another man? Yeah. At this point, you are out of your mind. I am. Here I am again, man. Number two. Dude, dude. Doo doo boop boop boop boop do. I said I got you a man down two. Yo, get a man. You get a man, you get a man for some chicken man.
00;12;20;06 – 00;12;37;09
Unknown
So then we get on the mats, we get on the mats, and we’re we’re we’re like, we’re just gonna float. Now, this is an ocean with boogie thingies. Yeah. What are those things called? Yeah. It’s like the line like, don’t go like, past this line right now. Like, we can’t go on the other side of the line because there’s sharks.
00;12;37;09 – 00;12;54;19
Unknown
I’m like, okay, so they don’t come past. They don’t go past the boys. But right before the boys. Yeah. So we’re, we’re, you know, fat asses laying on the blue mats. Yeah. And we get all the way to the boys and those boys are filled with seaweed slime. I want to die. I’m like, and you’re kidding. You’re headed right toward it.
00;12;54;26 – 00;13;26;14
Unknown
Never had it right. You’re like, don’t let me touch you. Don’t let me touch it. Yeah. So gross. Yeah, we had a good time. So we, we got the blue mat. We did bargain for some chicken. We sure did. That was a high. That was a tall. Was a high for sure. That was a total high. The second high that you came up with was you were laying in bed and you look out on the balcony and I had just gotten out of the shower and I’m standing on the balcony, but ass naked.
00;13;26;14 – 00;13;57;05
Unknown
Yep. Facing. Yep. The pretty sure you were singing section. Yeah, yeah. Something like yeah, I don’t know what it was, but I in this moment, me and my nakedness with the ocean just all out there. That was a really beautiful moment in time. That’s right. The freedom I felt with the breeze of the ocean. Air drying of the titties.
00;13;57;05 – 00;14;15;07
Unknown
Yes. Yeah. Always nice. It was a total high. I’m not sure it was a high for. You know. Who? Us? No, I me third high. Third high. Okay. First night. So we get on the ship. Her and I for months had been saying we’re not buying no drink package, no drink package, because that is $500. It’s too much.
00;14;15;11 – 00;14;32;28
Unknown
Too much. Nobody decides that much alcohol we brought. We are already brought 4 or 5 bottles of wine, right? We put them in other people’s suitcases. I was like, how did you do that? Oh yeah. Yeah, we put it. We got ours. We convinced other people to bring our rice for us who had gotten the drink package like we were all set aside.
00;14;33;00 – 00;14;51;12
Unknown
We’re on the boat three minutes. Buy the drink package. We’re on the boat three minutes next to the bar where everyone standing. Everyone has themselves a cocktail. Right? Turn to each other and say, did you want to get the drink package? Yeah. And I’m like, no, we really don’t want to get the drink package right. Three seconds later, signing our ass on the fucking drink.
00;14;51;15 – 00;15;08;10
Unknown
Yeah, because you get to walk back to your cabin to to pour a glass of wine and then walk back down to wherever you’re hanging out. No. And if you don’t get the drink package, there’s drinks are like 17 bucks for a cocktail. And she was drinking drinks with three combinations of drinks, so they were more like $60.
00;15;08;12 – 00;15;27;08
Unknown
Oh, yeah. And so we justified it that way. Plus they had Starbucks on the ship and those were included in the drink package. So in our minds we’re like, if we if we get three bottles of water and two coffees a day, that pays for the drink package, and then the alcohol is just on top of it. So we, we end up getting this drink package and we are having a good time.
00;15;27;08 – 00;15;47;13
Unknown
We’re just like living our best life, having a good time. And we decide we are going to go to karaoke. and we go to dinner first because we need to prep and decide how we’re going to do the karaoke. Yeah. And so at dinner, we’re coming up with all these songs and the siren, a song. Yeah. So we’re coming up with all these songs and we land on the Thong Song.
00;15;47;16 – 00;16;09;14
Unknown
Don’t that on something. You decide that that’s going to be our song. Yeah. So we get over to the karaoke place and it’s 60 and older. everybody’s 60 and older at least, and we’re talking these songs are all like, I loved you and I left Georgia and right here in my beer and like, all these the downer, downer songs.
00;16;09;14 – 00;16;23;22
Unknown
And so we go up to the activities people and we’re like, you got the Thong Song. They’re like, we don’t have that. And there is a waiting list of like ten people. And we’re like, yeah, you can just cross this person off because they’re out, right? That’s a terrible song. Don’t do that one. So they’re like, we can’t do that.
00;16;23;22 – 00;16;40;02
Unknown
And so Aaron and I are also wearing our matching hats. Mine that says the boss. Yeah. And mine that says the real the real boss. So we go sit down and we look at each other and we’re like, this is so boring. And all of our friends are there. Oh, everybody. All they’re they’re waiting for us to sing a song.
00;16;40;02 – 00;17;00;21
Unknown
Right? And we can’t. So I say, you go on the ship with 14 oh 14. There’s 14 people that you knew that were on this cruise. Yeah. it was the wedding cruise. Oh, it’s a wedding cruise. Yes. I didn’t I don’t think you ever said that. Oh, well. Well, I mean, to be fair, we didn’t know where we were going until the day we got in the van either, but.
00;17;00;23 – 00;17;15;25
Unknown
Yeah. All right. So continue. Yeah. I mean, we wouldn’t just sign up for a random cruise and not know where we’re going. That would be kind of funny. That’s what I thought, that’s all. Just the two of us going around, not just the two of you. We’re going on a cruise. Oh, no no no no no, we would do that now.
00;17;15;27 – 00;17;34;08
Unknown
We went for her first cruise. No no no no. But that was. And we were just we just signed up and we were just being told what to do and where to go. Right. I see, more love cruise 100%. Oh, can you imagine how love that charter the whole damn ship. That’s right, that’s right. So we’re wearing these outfits or these hats and stuff, and we are now officially bored.
00;17;34;08 – 00;17;56;18
Unknown
We’ve been there. 30s. Yeah. Officially. Board. Yeah. And this man is singing my my girl. And I say to Aaron, we’re going to go jazz that up. We’re going to go be his backup dancers. Oh my God, did you? So we stand up, you saw karaoke. This karaoke. We stood right behind him, right behind me as he is singing.
00;17;56;19 – 00;18;25;09
Unknown
Where did my girl, my girl talk and bow? My girl? I just did a little slide up. And this is our bar. People are going crazy. We got to pause. We got to pull everybody point. Pause. Scott key. What’s the pause? Okay, what? I just have to ask, did you did you consider that maybe the guy didn’t want to share his karaoke 100%?
00;18;25;11 – 00;18;46;20
Unknown
We didn’t care. He was boring. Yeah, we thought about. Absolutely. I’m sure he didn’t want to share his karaoke spotlight. As many people know, when they go to karaoke, this is the time where they all think that they’re going to be famous, right? We just determined real quick that wasn’t it for this man. And if he was gonna, we just needed to cast it up a little, treat the crowd kind of like, cheer you on because you saved.
00;18;46;20 – 00;19;01;08
Unknown
You saved a really horrible performance. No. Nobody here? No. In fact, no. That one. No, that’s not our friend. Our first. Our friends. They were dying. They’re like. Because they don’t really know if some of them knew us, but most of them did it. So when we just go up there, they’re like. So they were like, you, Scott.
00;19;01;08 – 00;19;19;22
Unknown
They were nervous. They were like, what if what happens if this guy turns around? You know, I would have been like, keep singing texts, right. Let’s go. Right, or we’ll get them right. Thank you’re welcome. Jasmine. You’re welcome. So then the cruise, the cruise person, the activities people, they were like, they get to the end and they’re like, yeah.
00;19;19;23 – 00;19;41;14
Unknown
All right. Congratulations to Jimmy. That was great. Jimmy and the girls. Jimmy and the girls. Jimmy and the girls. And that all we did was we lifted our wine glasses in the air, and I turned around and walked out. We left the whole way home and we were on that. We were on that all dot board run over by.
00;19;41;21 – 00;20;03;25
Unknown
Went somewhere else. Yeah. So that was that was my one. Yeah. That’s our that’s our third high. That’s a third. That’s another high was I don’t know if it was a higher a low. So Aaron and I went to Disney World or Epcot with Nina and Laura and Nina’s mom, and we spent the day. SeaWorld. That was the day before.
00;20;03;26 – 00;20;23;16
Unknown
Okay, we can talk about that one in a minute. So we go we go to Epcot with, with them and spend most of the day and, you know, I mean, Aaron and I are so cheaper. Open, open the close girls. And they decide that they’re tired and they they want to head on and go over to their hotel that’s near the ship and the not.
00;20;23;16 – 00;20;40;16
Unknown
You’re so cheap that I got the cheapest hotel I could possibly find near the Orlando airport. And then we were going to go over to the airport to catch the shuttle in the morning, to then be dropped off at the, at the cruise ship. Now, did we get our car from Z go or whatever? But I, I wrote that down here.
00;20;40;17 – 00;21;00;28
Unknown
I wrote them right. That was easy. Top car seat because I am pretty sure that wasn’t it. It was by the way that’s go. Yeah, that’s go is not the way to go. Yeah. We’re not we’re never doing that. We’re all done with that. That’s that’s not the thing. So we did have a rental car and also because we’re cheap I made her park at Disney Springs, which is the free parking area.
00;21;00;28 – 00;21;20;08
Unknown
And then you need to take a, bus to a resort and then take a bus from the resort to the parks. Right. So there’s there’s a lot of transferring here. So we’re done with the ladies. We, they move on, we decide we are going to finish up some things in Epcot and we get a did we get a call or how did we find out?
00;21;20;08 – 00;21;39;03
Unknown
Darnell and Bobby were around. He texted, oh, like so Darnell texted and said, we’re going to come to the magic Kingdom. And we’re like, oh, we had a hopper. So we decided to get and go over to the Magic Kingdom. Now, at this point, I think it’s just one Magic Kingdom. Yeah, I know, but it’s the most it’s only one Walmarts, I doubt it.
00;21;39;05 – 00;22;01;09
Unknown
The Walmarts in the YouTubes. Yeah. So so we we head on over and you know, we’re tired. We need a little. We need a little. Pick me up. This was after Aaron waited 2.5 hours in a ride, like, oh yeah. Yeah. So she was all pissed off. And we go over to Magic Kingdom and we’re ready to, spend the second half of our day.
00;22;01;09 – 00;22;17;14
Unknown
It’s now like, what? Dinnertime? Yeah. Short clock. Yeah. And we’re both wearing our weaves and they’re hurting our heads. At one point, we’re like, just take the weaves off. We’ll just. I go, I’m going to tell you, I’m going to put it down my pants on my pants because I didn’t have a purse or anything. I’m like, I’m just going to take the and put it down my pants when you’re like, Maybe I’ll get a bag, right?
00;22;17;14 – 00;22;38;20
Unknown
But and so we talked about that for a while while we waited for the boys who took forever. Yeah. Hour and a half. Yeah. To arrive. And as soon as they get there, what happens? Downpour down, another downpour. Poor downpour. Opportunity for a downpour. The Magic Kingdom, which we. That’s how we got the free tickets to begin with.
00;22;38;22 – 00;22;57;05
Unknown
So we are drenched, soaking up rats. Drenched rats. And at this point, Aaron’s like, I need a I need a poncho. Yep. So we’re already soaked. We go get the poncho. We all four of us put these ponchos on. We walk outside. Clears that. Yeah. Rain stop. Clearing rain completely. Stop. Did we wear the ponchos the rest of the night?
00;22;57;05 – 00;23;15;20
Unknown
Because we paid for them and because they were a little warmer, 100% sure. If people know that your body heat starts to accumulate under those little ponchos, like, it’s like a little heater under there. So we finished the night. We could do as many rides as we possibly can until the park closes. Like they are now saying, you got to go, right?
00;23;15;22 – 00;23;35;16
Unknown
Leave now. Don’t forget, we now have 8000 transfers. That needs to happen on the way back. It is already 1130 at night, right? We’re with Darnell and Bobby. Bobby’s never been to Disney ever, right? I think it’s closer to midnight at this point. It is late. Yeah, starving I is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And we never we never even stopped starving.
00;23;35;16 – 00;23;53;25
Unknown
Some girl in the back seat in a noodle bowl. Yeah. From Polynesia to me. Whatever. Because remember, we have to do all the transfers to get back to our car, and we convince we. I convince Darnell and Bobby because they were Uber everywhere. I convince them that they can go in our XL car. Yeah, which is a clown car, which is.
00;23;53;25 – 00;24;13;28
Unknown
There’s no room in there. There’s no. We have three suitcases each all packed to the brim, and we had to pick the three things like a Honda Fit. Scott, this thing is like a Honda Fit there. You don’t have a backseat anymore because you have your back suitcase in it. And she somehow convinced Darnell and Bobby. Yeah, to ride with us.
00;24;13;28 – 00;24;29;04
Unknown
They can ride with us to Denny’s, right? So because they are like, well, we’re going to go to Denny’s. And I’m like, but we got to go to 5000 transfers to get our cars. So by now it’s what, 115 at least at least 115. We finally get to the car. Only car in the parking lot definitely found it very easily.
00;24;29;04 – 00;24;50;17
Unknown
Yeah. Go over to the Denny’s. Denny’s is out of every single food possible. Yeah, we try to get as much as we can. Yeah, and we end up leaving and we bring them to their hotel. The land or something. Yes. It was actually five star land is really nice. Yeah. We go over to our hotel now, you remember, Rebecca’s the one who booked the hotel, right?
00;24;50;17 – 00;25;12;00
Unknown
Right. Like you know that about. You know that Scott. Rebecca books the hotel. I just show up, and she’s as cheap as cheap can be. The same hotel that all the, like highway workers are staying at it. I mean, come on. The the reservation. I had had a different name than the location. Yeah, that’s never a good sign.
00;25;12;00 – 00;25;29;10
Unknown
Yeah, there was a lot of things going on, and by now it’s 215 in the morning. And you haven’t checked in yet. New. Oh, that’s even better. Now we’re even called nothing. And we’re joking with Darnell and Bobby, who already have had to transfer hotels because the first hotel they were so bad was Gum Town. It was not okay.
00;25;29;10 – 00;25;47;25
Unknown
They refused to stay there. So here we are, dropping them off at their five star hotel going down the street. Maybe five, seven minutes. Yes. That’s not if we could have walked. Yeah, it wasn’t far at all. And we said, all right, well, if this place is a dump, we’ll be seeing you soon. Joking around. Right. So we pull in.
00;25;47;27 – 00;26;05;14
Unknown
What was it called, a sack? What was it called? It was called. Sure. Sleep sure? Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a winner. Sure, but that’s not what it was called. That my hotel reservation. So we’re not sure if that’s the place or not. Even though it’s a sure sleep, we’re not sure that that’s where it is worst, but it was the biggest.
00;26;05;15 – 00;26;20;26
Unknown
So I say I’m just going to go in and check to make sure this is the correct place. Right. So I go in, gets out of the car and I say, hey, my name is Rebecca. I’m here to check in. She’s like, oh, Rebecca Herzog. I said, yeah, she’s like, where did you make your reservation? And I said, unexpired.
00;26;20;26 – 00;26;37;26
Unknown
Yeah. She’s like, yeah, that’s not a thing. I go, it is. But what do you mean that’s not a thing? I know I go, it is. She goes, oh well we don’t work with them. And they they lie and say that we have hotel rooms, but we really don’t. I go, are you saying that you don’t have a hotel room for me?
00;26;38;03 – 00;26;56;07
Unknown
She goes, no, but I see her reservation and I tried to charge you and it wasn’t working. And I’m like, why did you try to charge? What the hell? That I’m like I said, I can’t. And she goes, well, because you booked with the third party, you have to deal with them. So I turn around, I go out to Aaron and she’s in the car already pissed off.
00;26;56;09 – 00;27;26;03
Unknown
And I say, and this is her face, okay? I said, what she’s like, well, opens the door, sits down, looks at me still, still smiling. They gave our hotel room away. What? What do you mean? Well, they gave our hotel room away. they kind of overbooked and I’m like. So we don’t have a place to sleep tonight.
00;27;26;03 – 00;27;42;20
Unknown
You’re like, no, they did say that we could contact Expedia and maybe they could relocate us. They’re just not sure where exactly that’s going to be. And by now it’s 230, almost 3 a.m., and we have to be at the airport at 8 a.m., I said. So in my mind, I’m like, I’m not paying for no hotel. I’m not doing this.
00;27;42;22 – 00;28;12;15
Unknown
I pick up the phone, do do do do do do bring bring bring. Hello, Darnell. We’re coming over. We’re coming over. You got size bed you got this morning. I said, mama, and we went and slept with Darnell and Bobby. We said, yeah, but it wasn’t just that. So Darnell and Bobby were so sweet. They decided to go down to the front desk and try to get a room with two beds.
00;28;12;17 – 00;28;28;26
Unknown
So they attempt to get a room with two beds. The man who works the desk is so overwhelmed there’s no parking. I think we parked in the valet place and just left the car. Didn’t care. walked in at this point. We grabbed whatever suitcase we could find. It was the suitcase with all the costumes. Didn’t even have clothes.
00;28;28;26 – 00;28;46;08
Unknown
Nothing. Go inside. The guy gives Darnell the new room key. We took all of their luggage out of their room. We go to this new room. And was it you who’s trying to get in the room? Bobby? Bobby, Bobby’s trying to get in the room, and the thing keeps going. Ding! Yellow, ding yellow. And we’re like, what the fuck?
00;28;46;08 – 00;29;07;19
Unknown
And so he’s like, it’s 3 a.m.. He’s like, banging on the door. And we’re like, what is going on? So then he goes downstairs, the guy reprograms the the key, come back upstairs. Tried doing it again. It’s still not working at this point. He sends the maintenance man up with the master key. the maintenance man goes to open the door and as he opens it, it’s latched from the inside.
00;29;07;25 – 00;29;35;13
Unknown
So there are people in there sleeping. It is now three, three, 15. I don’t even know what time it is. Aaron’s like, come on, I said, there’s somebody in that room. There’s somebody sleeping in that room. I now just walk away because I’m like, I am not going to be here when they’re pissed on. Someone walks out here and it’s like, are you trying to break into my room at 3:00 in the morning?
00;29;35;13 – 00;29;53;29
Unknown
I know what the hell. It was not okay. It was not okay. So they sent us up another floor. I’m the one who goes in this time. Yeah. I open the door and the TV is on, and I’m at this point about ready to sleep in the car. We were going to go sleep on the couch downstairs. Why?
00;29;54;00 – 00;30;11;03
Unknown
Right is though, why is the TV on right at three in the morning if there’s no one in here? Well, it just turns out, apparently no one turn off the TV. I don’t know, we ended up going in there, falling asleep, waking up. We took a nap 45 minutes later, took a nap and going for the rest. And then me.
00;30;11;06 – 00;30;24;13
Unknown
We go to the hotel. we go to the airport the next day and it was actually lovely. The whole shuttle experience was great. So we get on the shuttle and because Aaron’s carsick, she always has to sit in the front. And so I’m in the back with all these people. Everybody’s so excited to go on this trip, right?
00;30;24;20 – 00;30;44;23
Unknown
And we are going on 40 minutes of sleep. And we just launched into our comedy routine. She’s yakking it up with all these folks. We’re having a great time because then it all starts because the guy goes, hey guys, what port is everyone going to? And we’re like, we don’t know. And then he was like, okay, well, what cruise line are you on?
00;30;44;23 – 00;31;02;29
Unknown
We’re like, well, I don’t know. I saw it all. And these people were dying, so of course we had to tell all the stories and everything, so no, the reason I brought that up is because when we were having dinner or when we were having lunch on the island with the two old ladies, the two people from the from the van were sitting behind us.
00;31;02;29 – 00;31;22;10
Unknown
So we’re reconnected with. That was quite funny. Zach and had Zach and head and that’s what we called them. Yeah, his name wasn’t head, but that’s what we heard say. I heard him say head. And so from then on, his name was head. Hilarious. So we had a really good time. But the highlight, the absolute highlight of the entire trip was 80 night.
00;31;22;12 – 00;31;48;01
Unknown
Yes, 80s night, as you heard us talk about 80s night, was MC Hammer Town for us. We did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody else did know. In fact, I think only three other people dressed up in the entire ship. Right. So here we come, walking in with our bebop and bang bobs and our mustaches. and we couldn’t even barely get down the from our room.
00;31;48;01 – 00;32;14;07
Unknown
No. To the mirror laughing too hard to the main. elevator. We were laughing so hard, but every time we moved our mouths, the mustache would potentially come off. Yeah, so we were dying. Not only that, but these pants. Yeah, well, we’re real hot. We’re beyond hot. And she made me wear a pair of, hot pants under them because she thought that they were going to attach too much to my leg, which actually makes no sense.
00;32;14;07 – 00;32;38;01
Unknown
It just makes it more hot. And we were soaking wet. It was hilarious. So we did that. And at the very end of the night, then very next day was our Nina’s birthday. Yeah. So it gets to the very end of the night and we have to get the last little bit out of our MC hammer costumes before they get returned.
00;32;38;04 – 00;33;02;26
Unknown
And we had choreographed a dance I’m sure did to can’t touch this. and we decided instead of letting all of that great choreography go to waste, go to away, we were highly anticipating that that song would have been played at the 80s party, and it wasn’t. So we missed. No, everybody missed our performance. Spend all that time in the room dressed like M.C. hammer choreographing a dance for it to go to waste.
00;33;02;27 – 00;33;30;11
Unknown
That’s right. That’s so. And mind you, we hadn’t drink at all this day. We did not watch. Oh, well, I says about right. Good thing we got the drink back. Not one. So we, we’re sitting in this area in the middle of the ship with Nina, and we said, Nina, we have a little pre birthday surprise for you.
00;33;30;14 – 00;33;50;23
Unknown
And she got a little nervous, understandably. Yeah. Oh yeah. You should always be nervous. What do you tell you? We have a surprise. Right. Especially looking like we did. Right. And we said we, we put this little ditty together for you. And do we have that available here today on your left podcast? Yeah. Yeah, why wouldn’t we?
00;33;50;23 – 00;34;10;14
Unknown
I mean, have that available. Oh, good. Here comes. Oh yeah. We’re also we’re in fanny packs. Oh, geez. She switches it over to horizontal video. So you’ll see that happened soon. I had to fix it for you other.
00;34;10;16 – 00;34;15;10
Unknown
We’re really good.
00;34;15;12 – 00;34;34;19
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, yeah. That’s the part where you’re playing the guitar. Yep, yep. You’re going back. I’m going front. Yeah. Oh you did, I did, I did. You told me you told me to do that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Can’t touch this. Oh yeah. That was the touch that was, was hands on the chest. Hands on the crotch. Throw it into the yard.
00;34;34;20 – 00;34;54;17
Unknown
That’s that’s. Can’t touch this. That’s how that goes, right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now we’re doing like a little jazzercise routine here. Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, that’s really all right. Here we go. Oh, wow. Look at those. Yeah. Mustaches are still on. Yeah. Now we look like hula girls. Now, this is freestyle. This is freestyle. You tell me.
00;34;54;18 – 00;35;18;03
Unknown
Oh. See that? Can’t touch that. We did. Oh, I missed that. I know you did. I really would like. Oh, there I go again. There I go again. Grabbing the leg. Grabbing the leg. This person walks up the stairs real confused. Yeah. Nice job. Yeah, this is good. This is us being. I’m doing the back. You’re doing the front.
00;35;18;05 – 00;35;26;22
Unknown
Oh, wait. What happened to you? Rebecca? I can’t stop laughing. Wait. Let him listen.
00;35;26;24 – 00;35;29;10
Unknown
To.
00;35;29;12 – 00;35;35;28
Unknown
You. Now.
00;35;36;00 – 00;35;44;15
Unknown
Oh, my God, there’s mullets are killing me. This is.
00;35;44;18 – 00;36;17;14
Unknown
Ten. And then. And then. What was that? Wait. Here it is. Oh, wait. What? Wait a minute. When you hit those, you wait. Oh, that. This. When you just took the last little. What was your fitness? Yeah. Then your heart.
00;36;17;17 – 00;36;40;11
Unknown
Oh, oh. And then I’m still going. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. She did the last move and she fired it really fast. And the timing was was perfect. What did you. Oh she absolutely ripped one at the end there and had to sit down. Wow wow I finished the dance routine. Thanks for sharing that I appreciate it.
00;36;40;12 – 00;36;59;26
Unknown
And I I’m not sure we’re giving me enough credit for how much I pulled together that dance routine. I know one with the dance training. Yeah, you know I hate dance and I really played the character part real well. You clearly kind of, you know, put together, you know, you put some thought into those moves. Thank you. Yeah.
00;37;00;04 – 00;37;16;24
Unknown
Thank you. We did try to replicate the dance video. Yeah. I mean the freestyle was important. You told me one of the freestyle moves I could do would be to grab my ankle and pull my leg out. Like, I was like, one of those machines. Yeah, yeah. And then funny thing is, is that you never really grabbed your ankle.
00;37;16;24 – 00;37;35;18
Unknown
You just sort of, like, reached. Sorry, Scott. Some of us can’t reach that far. Can’t do that. Okay? Sometimes. Sometimes there’s this little issue with our flexibility. Oh, yeah. No, trust me, I’m the least flexible person you’ve ever met. But did I at least attempt it? Yeah. Of course. Yeah, yeah, just trip myself on my pants. And I did try.
00;37;35;20 – 00;37;54;01
Unknown
Yeah, we did. It took us. We had to get ready for two hours because we had to get all the laughing out. if we were going to be able to pull that off in public, did multiple people come up to us and take our pictures with them? Yeah. Strangers? Yeah, 100%. Well, wouldn’t you, they probably thought you worked on the ship.
00;37;54;03 – 00;38;10;25
Unknown
We did get asked to come up and do a performance on top of the bridge thing, but we did not do that. And for the rest of the trip, people were like, there’s those girls like them, just us. That the hammer people knew us. Yeah. I would say that was a high two. I would say that that was hilarious.
00;38;10;25 – 00;38;35;19
Unknown
That was a high two dying. Yeah. Dying. Hilarious. So we’ll have to save our our lows for, for another another ten. Oh yeah. Because there were some one on all the, on all the highs though. I mean it was definitely a good trip and definitely a lot of fun. And I do think that a more love cruise should definitely be in the future, because 100%, that was a lot of fun.
00;38;35;19 – 00;38;56;01
Unknown
100%. Did we try to get on The Newlywed Game? Yes, but it’s a little it’s a little heteronormative, unfortunately. Exactly. So we were straight couples. We did try. We had all these plans, but didn’t work out. So we decided we are going to write in and say, you need to do a best friend show. Yeah, because we would win.
00;38;56;03 – 00;39;13;20
Unknown
Well, we think we won, but oh no, you would. I’ve seen I’ve seen hundreds of those shows and you would win. Oh good. Honey, you see my little Josh Allen bag I got here? Oh, wow. I got some goodies in here. Oh, God. I was going to start the show with and then get you. It’s just real easy here.
00;39;13;20 – 00;39;29;29
Unknown
These are your damn shoes. Oh. Thank you. Yeah, I probably right 2024. So we had to put we had to put those shoes in her suitcase because mine was way overweight. Do you. I’m not sure if everyone’s seeing those shoes. Those are. Yeah. Those put you up a nice, like, cup. Like what, three inches? Four inches? Oh, yeah.
00;39;29;29 – 00;39;44;05
Unknown
There’s sunglasses in here. Did you want the one? No. Shot glasses? No. this right here, Scott, is not your lunch. This is your.
00;39;44;08 – 00;40;14;08
Unknown
Glasses pack. All right, you’re eclipse glasses. All right, so, Scott, we are valid. We are all set in. Supporter is supporting. That’s right. Carter, age nine. Aria, age eight, who are selling eclipse glasses and signature magnets. so we, Scott ordered a three pair. So there’s your three pair for that. Scott. Thank you. Signed, sealed, delivered. And a little lunch bag.
00;40;14;25 – 00;40;35;17
Unknown
Rebecca, I also have something else for you. Oh, God. First, we’re going to start with this. Look at this little ink pad. What? What? This adorable pink ink pad. Before, to make a hearts. What could that adorable pink ink pad want to make? Do I open it now? Oh. Stunning pad I love that. Is that to make our stop it.
00;40;35;18 – 00;41;00;26
Unknown
Did you have one made? Give me that. I can stop it. Look at. Oh my God, let me see that I got I can’t. So you had this made. Yes. That’s our thumbprint. So, as you all know, starting Empathic Edge, one of the signatures on our logo is that we each took our fingerprint and made one half of a heart.
00;41;00;29 – 00;41;26;01
Unknown
So we have a fingerprint heart right in our logo. And so I contacted two good friends of mine, Jacqui and Jill from New York Marking Company. Jack and Jill. Yes. Well, you know, they’re so sweet. I went to high school with them and, they own New York Marketing Company, and they always do all of my custom made stamps for me.
00;41;26;02 – 00;41;49;15
Unknown
Sometimes I get them for Carter’s teachers. sometimes I get them in the shape of a fingerprint heart. So we sent them our fingerprint heart prototype, and they had it made into a really awesome, stamp for us. And so I got you. I figured you’d want the pink stamp pad. Absolutely. So we got you the pink stamp pad.
00;41;49;22 – 00;42;21;10
Unknown
And now, for all of our book signings here for, presentation gigs, you know, whenever you’re signing a tells on machine a Hobby Lobby, you now have the most beautiful handprint. Fingerprint stamp. Left side. Aaron. Right side. Rebecca. Stop it. Super adorable. She’s using it right now. Stop it. Yeah, I love that. So cute. Thank you. You’re welcome.
00;42;21;10 – 00;42;46;14
Unknown
That’s so. And then you’re just supposed to use, like, a baby wipe or something that is not too harsh in order to clean the little color off of that. So that’s really not to that. But probably most important. Oh, there’s more. One more. Scott, this one’s for you. You ready for this? Scott? I don’t think you are. I am excited beyond belief.
00;42;46;19 – 00;42;56;18
Unknown
You don’t think you’re ready? Scott’s going to get real spoiled. We’re always giving him shit on the shelf. You ready? Scott? Yeah.
00;42;56;20 – 00;43;20;19
Unknown
What is it? I have a hood. Yeah. All right, isn’t it? Well, how long has it been not refrigerated? For as long as we’ve been here. 30 minutes. Okay. This is your damn 4% cottage cheese with pineapple added. That’s his favorite. What? That’s not your favorite? No, no. Well. Oh, shit. I’m sorry. We’re back. He wants to see it again.
00;43;20;20 – 00;43;47;02
Unknown
We’re back. We’re back to Mickey. So my favorite is specifically the friendship. Low fat cottage cheese with pineapple. That was what my whole post was about. Oh, friendship. But look, hey, I am so touched that you would do that. But I am not. I am not upset, I am, I’m just. Did you know this other brand existed? Hood?
00;43;47;04 – 00;44;10;14
Unknown
No. Like the fact that it has the pineapple because I read your post. Is the fact that you could not find pineapple? No. With cottage cheese mixed together anymore? No. It’s specifically friendship brand. If you look at that post, it says friendship. All done. Good night. Irene, no one gives a shit about I. So that’s it. That’s so sweet and I have to share it.
00;44;10;15 – 00;44;29;03
Unknown
Still be sweet, but now it’s just some stupid ass cottage cheese. It’s the most random present ever. It was a really sweet present because it was like cottage cheese there. Pineapple in it, because that’s what you want. And now it’s just a chunk of freaking cottage cheese nobody wants because it’s gross and on frigerator. So I’m here to I’m good to cottage cheese.
00;44;29;03 – 00;44;51;04
Unknown
I didn’t know it’s a brand thing. Well, I mean, that’s what the post’s, ass. Sorry. Whatever. I’m sorry. Appreciate the thought. Nobody wants that. That was a bummer. All right, stop with the stamp. Just pretend with the stamp was the last thing I gave you. Great. All right, so, Aaron, so should I have just said, oh, my God, you got it for me.
00;44;51;04 – 00;45;23;27
Unknown
That’s awesome. And let you believe that. Oh, and I feel bad that you do. Oh, sorry. That was because of my reaction. But my reaction was just to cover up the fact that now it’s just a random ass thing of cottage cheese, and it’s the weirdest gift ever. I know, but but that is that is there like a really obscure sort of deep, like, you know me well enough to know that that’s something that I would recognize right away as, as, you know, like, that’s that’s important.
00;45;23;29 – 00;45;44;09
Unknown
Well, this really happened. I went to the store and I was like, oh my God, they have pineapple and cottage cheese together. This is what I’m thinking at the time. Yeah. I’m like, Scott’s been looking for this. They don’t sell pineapple cottage cheese together anymore, but they do here at the Walmart at the wall. I turned to Mark and I’m like, they have pineapple and cottage cheese.
00;45;44;09 – 00;46;03;22
Unknown
He’s like, okay. I’m like, it’s for Scott. He’s like, okay, okay, this is getting real weird for him. And so I put it in the cart and then I put it in, as soon as I get home, I put it in the refrigerator, and then I this head right, right myself, a post-it note. Don’t forget the pineapple in the cottage cheese.
00;46;03;24 – 00;46;21;05
Unknown
And then I put it in the bin and I’m like, oh, my car’s so great. Got a lot of presents to give today. And then, now that it was a specific brand, I mean, the thought is definitely not lost on that, but it is literally just a tub of cottage cheese. Was so stupid. Has pineapple at it that.
00;46;21;05 – 00;46;38;16
Unknown
Yeah. And you could get it any Walmart at any time. So it basically just gave you a bin of cottage cheese. So, you know, nothing really screams love. more than that, Scott. Well are you’ve heard of that? It’s the thought that counts. Yeah. That’s right there was a lot of thought through. There was a lot of thought.
00;46;38;16 – 00;46;56;26
Unknown
And no, I wouldn’t have hated it. I just went out. If you saw the black hole, I would have hated it if you had lied about it because you know me well enough to know every week from now on, you’d be good and you’d be getting good cottage cheese with pineapple. And I really would have thought, you know, like, I kid you more to cottage cheese.
00;46;56;26 – 00;47;20;16
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. No more. And it’s kind of interesting how many random people have texted me pictures of Pineapple Cottage? Oh, it’s just any type. Yeah, but did they pick it up at the Walmart? So. And put it in the cart. The one thing I want to. Okay. So on my post I’m from January 21st so we’re going back.
00;47;20;16 – 00;47;43;06
Unknown
Oh wow. See Wegmans stop carrying my favorite cottage cheese with pineapple parentheses. Friendship 16oz. Oh, it must be 16oz. They have a small snack pack size for a year, few years. But now they got rid of those. I emailed friendship and they told me I was shit out of luck, and nobody in my area carries it. Sometimes the universe conspires in the wrong direction.
00;47;43;13 – 00;48;05;11
Unknown
Yeah, so. Well, you know who’s got it? Could could carry some shit for you. Yeah, well, there’s tons of different brands of pot. I’ve cut pineapple and cottage cheese and I don’t like them. Have you tried hood? No, I haven’t tried hood. You know what I mean? So maybe this is the gift that just everything it could be there is.
00;48;05;11 – 00;48;22;28
Unknown
There’s. I’m actually excited about it now. There’s that potentially that this could be the replacement. I’ve been looking for. I am going to need you to record your first. okay. Now all of it. Should we do that? Should we do that now? You want to do it on the show? We’ll do that on the show. Yeah, I think it’s important.
00;48;22;28 – 00;48;46;06
Unknown
Okay I do yeah, I’ll. I’ll open it up for you. Okay. Well, you get yourself a little spoon while he’s preparing for that. You got a really special card today. I was really sorry. It’s a special card. So today, this is a brand new one. I’ve never gotten this one. And Kelly up the street asked me specifically. Do you often pull the Wheel of Fortune?
00;48;46;06 – 00;49;09;23
Unknown
I’m like, never, never. So, I was really surprised. In fact, when I first opened it, I thought it was, or flipped it over. I thought it was a pirate ship wheel. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, it looks like kind of what it looks like. Yeah. but there’s a bunch of, birds. These things. Anyway, so the Wheel of Fortune card, and she had said, do you get the Wheel of Fortune card?
00;49;09;23 – 00;49;33;26
Unknown
And why did she say that? She said it because she thought that it would be a common card to pick up for you, because something about it is transitional in nature. Right? Like it just something keeps coming up. Switching, changing. Oh, here we go. Doing something different, right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Something something along those lines. I honestly don’t remember exactly what it was, but I think it was the fact that I always have a lot going on.
00;49;33;26 – 00;49;55;25
Unknown
Okay. I don’t I don’t like to stick with something and, and, just. Yeah, just do it. I have to have multiple. Yeah. It’s happening. Okay, okay. All right. Well let him. Oh. Cottage cheese time, I promise. I promise that I won’t lie. No, that if it’s not. If it’s not it, it’s not it. If it’s not.
00;49;55;25 – 00;50;16;14
Unknown
Yeah. If it’s not it, it’s not it. Okay, here’s the moment. It is it just cottage cheese or is it a life changer? Well, I have to say that the texture is is definitely looking good. Okay, okay. A lot of potential here. They say more about that. Is the pineapple on the bottom. It seems to be mixed. It’s yeah it’s mixed in.
00;50;16;14 – 00;50;32;08
Unknown
So a lot of them now I have a little package of like the pineapple. Yeah in a sauce and then the cottage cheese and you mix it yourself. But this is already there. Pre-mixed. Okay. Are you are you a fan of the pre-mixed or. Now I am a fan of the pre-mixed. Okay, okay. All right, here we go.
00;50;32;11 – 00;50;37;12
Unknown
Yeah I’m ready.
00;50;37;14 – 00;50;50;18
Unknown
Holy shit. Stop it, stop it. Holy shit. Stop it right now! This is it. What do you mean? What do you mean you found it? I’m not fucking kidding. You. Tap!
00;50;50;20 – 00;51;13;04
Unknown
Fit! Stop it right now! What do you mean? What do you love about it? This tastes like the friendship brand. No. It does. Hey, I’m getting teary eyed. I’m getting teary. What do you mean? It is getting old. You love it. Oh my God, what’s white is so good? This is a I don’t know, but it tastes just like the friendship brand.
00;51;13;04 – 00;51;36;27
Unknown
You got to stop at the Walmart. So now I got to go to Walmart. Oh my God. no, this is so important today. I know what a meaningful day. The only difference between this and a friendship is the friendship is lower fat. Yeah, but I don’t know, you know, have a look at my camera shot and you’ll see that I haven’t been too worried about low fat in a while.
00;51;36;29 – 00;51;59;17
Unknown
But does it taste similar? The same? Oh, it’s it’s it’s a dead ringer. Stop. Trust me, I wouldn’t be shoving pineapple, cottage cheese in my mouth if I didn’t like it. Believe it. No, this is a fucking score. Nailed it. Nailed that big time. Nailed it. We just went on a full ass roller coaster. So high to all of it.
00;51;59;17 – 00;52;23;09
Unknown
Lots of back to the house. Yeah. And now we’re back at high. Yeah. I’m gonna eat this whole motherfucking tub. Oh, God, I’m so happy about that. Yeah. Oh, what a jolly day to watch all day today. The jolly, jolly. Yeah. Are there my shirts that say yep yep yep yep I’m now. So we’re going to have to do a post about this.
00;52;24;23 – 00;52;49;05
Unknown
and maybe take a photograph of, of me shaking your hand holding that. Yeah. Like it’s an award. Yeah. That’s right, I do think yeah. I think today something very important happened. Friendship has been replaced with hood. This is, Wow. I am seriously, flummoxed. I like that word somehow. That is so good. dude, I’m totally going in.
00;52;49;05 – 00;53;14;17
Unknown
Great, great, great. Did you think that was going to happen? No. Me neither. I thought it was going to be like, thank you for your. I thought he was going to say bad. It’s not bad. I’ll be honest with you. It’s not bad. And when he went like this and pushed it out, almost like it was bubble gum to really get the full taste to it, I thought for sure that that was the sign of this great reject.
00;53;14;17 – 00;53;34;05
Unknown
Yeah, but it wasn’t. No it wasn’t. He went back for more. Nothing like watching someone eat cottage cheese. It’s just, it’s one of those things you can’t describe. What? This is great. Great day. That’s really beautiful. I see this is what happens when you read someone’s post. You identify with it, you maybe get some of the details wrong.
00;53;34;05 – 00;53;57;00
Unknown
You try and do a good deed, and then it ultimately ends up being the home run. Yeah. You know, keep doing good. That’s the moral of that story. That’s right. Keep doing good. Yep. Keep trying. Yeah. All right. Wheel of fortune. Okay. like it’s televised. Namesake. This card reminds us that fate is continually changing our situation, both for good and for bad.
00;53;57;03 – 00;54;20;17
Unknown
Realizing that much of our destiny comes down to chance. Might seem mad, but the message is to lighten up and take some soul and solace in life’s impermanence. Our luck is forever changing, which means that bad times never last and good times are always on the way. Choose to watch the spinning wheel rather than ride on it. You may not be in control of what’s happening, but how you react is up to you.
00;54;20;23 – 00;54;46;04
Unknown
And that way destiny is always in your hands. I’d like to buy a positive outlook. Pat. Affirmation I enjoy my life the same way I enjoy a movie. I find excitement in the drama. No, the main character will always be okay and layer my popcorn tub with plenty of butter and peanut eminence. I can’t stand these cards. It’s this too much.
00;54;46;06 – 00;54;53;25
Unknown
Does that relate to you?
00;54;53;27 – 00;55;18;08
Unknown
I’d love to answer the question, but I’m still thinking about Scott’s cottage cheese. I came here, hey. Here much? Yes. I think I’m wondering what a different deck Wheel of Fortune would say. You know, one that’s not so corny. Yeah. but, yeah, I think that, you know, I’m. I’m the type of person that doesn’t really try to stay down much, just like.
00;55;18;08 – 00;55;44;08
Unknown
Okay, moving on. From time to time to that, wasn’t it. Gotta try something else, you know. Or what? Or whatever. because it’s just not worth. I don’t like victims. Not the right word, but, you know, I don’t. I don’t like remaining in that area. so. Yeah, I guess I don’t know. What do you think? I only remember, a couple words of that one being.
00;55;44;08 – 00;56;09;09
Unknown
I would like a positive affirmation, Pat. And, whatever the other one was. But I think I get the gist of it. Doesn’t really relate to me. That’s not at all my card battle. but yeah, I think I think there is a lot of truth of that, too. You you don’t like to stay down for long because you don’t like the feelings that are associated with being in that place.
00;56;09;11 – 00;56;27;02
Unknown
So you’re not going to stay in a place where any and all feelings are going to come up and are going to surface and are going to stay there awhile, which we’ve talked about many times on this show. That’s why this works, because I’m like, we’re staying down there just a little bit longer until we both know that you’re all done tolerating it, and then we move on and talk about something else.
00;56;27;04 – 00;56;45;26
Unknown
Right. and I do think that that is very telling, you know, with where you’re at in your life right now and just trying to figure out, I’m trying this, I like this, I like how this feels. I don’t love how this feels. Is this the right place for me? Is that this the right place for me? Just trying to sort of figure out what comes next.
00;56;45;28 – 00;57;06;29
Unknown
I think that’s true for us with the podcast. That’s true for us with empathic guides. That’s true for you in the multitude of different jobs that you do and you like to do, you like to have that variety. so I can totally see where Kelly would say, do you pick that card often? Because if there is a card that represents you, it feels like it’s that card.
00;57;06;29 – 00;57;25;21
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. It’s funny, I’m going to go that when we’re done later on today, go back and look at different variations of that and see see what it has to say. Because, I do think it’s really interesting. and I haven’t started my tarot class or whatever. I haven’t had two minutes. You said that was online, so you can read it’s like a passage forever.
00;57;25;23 – 00;57;48;02
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. and I really, I really want to spend some time doing that. But, you know, right now is not a good, not a good time. But, I’m excited to to get into that. you know, what I’m focusing on a lot right now is really trying to make sure that my energy and my efforts are aligned with where it is that I want to be and where I want to be spending my attention.
00;57;48;02 – 00;58;25;03
Unknown
We’ve talked about that a lot. When, you were working for Concerned Center because you could see my calendar and you could see that I would be bouncing around from a million different, places. And, I’m running into a bit of an empathy problem with an email that I had come in the other day. Maybe you and Scott can chime in on this and give me some thoughts, but in the process of trying to really align my energy, I’m also finding that I need to dampen my empathy a bit, asking me twice, I’d really love to meet with you and chat about where things are and tell you a little bit about what’s going
00;58;25;03 – 00;58;49;22
Unknown
on for us in, in our company. and I can ascertain really quickly that my first response is, no, I’m sorry, I don’t have time. It does not mean that I don’t care about what’s going on in your business, but I’m pretty well set in where my business is right now. The direction we’re in, we’ve hunkered down into some really keen opportunities that I really want to focus on right now, and I just don’t have an additional 30 minutes.
00;58;49;22 – 00;59;15;27
Unknown
Even if I did have it, I don’t want to spend the additional time doing that. or having that meeting. But I find myself not being able to respond to the, to the email because I don’t know how to say it in a way that is unclear. That is, that is not coming across as unkind, not coming across as dismissive, not coming across as my time is more important than your time.
00;59;16;09 – 00;59;41;19
Unknown
I get caught up in the fact that I used to be that person who was sending those emails to other people to be like, I’d love to talk with you about what’s going on for Concern Center right. And now that we’re at a different level in the company, along with that comes the need as well as the ability to be able to say, no, I can’t be taking all of these, you know, requests for conferences from from other companies or from other businesses.
00;59;41;21 – 01;00;04;20
Unknown
But I don’t know how to say that without coming off as pretentious, dismissive. And usually I feel like I would be the person if someone were asking me how to say it. I don’t have the wording right away, and I’m really struggling with how to say it. If to say it. And and also, I’m proud of myself for not just saying, sure.
01;00;04;20 – 01;00;27;17
Unknown
When do you want to meet? you know, is this somebody that’s trying to sell you services is trying to, ask, you know, get you as a client? As a customer? No, it is a close friend of mine, is friends with this person. Okay. Who started this business? There’s some, collaborative nature between that business and concerned center.
01;00;27;19 – 01;00;54;29
Unknown
And we had had early level discussions. They were just really on, early on in their process in order for us to really establish what potentially that could look like. And so and concerns center understandably at that time was that a place where we could have some of those conversations? Not so much the case now, because we’ve hunkered into four specific opportunities that are really big, really complex, and are taking a lot of my time and focus.
01;00;55;01 – 01;01;18;19
Unknown
But I kind of feel bad about letting the friend of a friend who had this company where concerns center knows those routes all too well, almost to say to them, I’m sorry, I just don’t have time right now, nor do I know when I will have time right, but I don’t. That’s a that’s an honest and straightforward answer.
01;01;18;19 – 01;01;40;06
Unknown
And I’ve heard a lot of people use this word bandwidth, which sometimes you like, sometimes you don’t like. But if you say, I really appreciate you reaching out. A lot has changed since we first discussed this. at present I just don’t have the bandwidth to, you know, to explore any of these opportunities. Maybe in the future we can.
01;01;40;08 – 01;02;03;00
Unknown
And I really appreciate you reaching out and, you know, you know, I’ll try to keep you in mind in the future. because there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not dismissive. That’s explaining your situation, and that’s being polite and being truthful. And the person should be totally cool with that. because you could just say, no, I’m not interested.
01;02;03;00 – 01;02;24;22
Unknown
Thanks. I mean, that would be like, screw you. but to tell them that, you know, from the time we had this first conversation to now a lot’s changed, and I just don’t think that’s, you know, or that’s not the direction we’re going in or, you know, a lot of things have changed in the company, so we just don’t have the resources to even investigate, even explore this right now.
01;02;24;23 – 01;02;49;00
Unknown
Yeah. You know, and you know what I would do? You wouldn’t even answer me. No, I would respond, but I would open ChatGPT and say, please respond to this. People in the most caring, empathetic, clear boundary way. And then it would write it for me and I’d send it off. Oh my God, I’m not joking. I have done that so many times in the past couple months and it has saved my freaking life.
01;02;49;03 – 01;03;09;06
Unknown
Well, that is better than your usual approach, which has. Sorry I didn’t get that message so must miss that email somewhere, right? The ostrich approach? Yep. How? How though do you get over that? So I think what you’re saying is right on Scott and I, as you spoke that out loud, I thought to myself, I could see myself writing that like that.
01;03;09;07 – 01;03;50;10
Unknown
That’s a message I would write, and I will do that when I get home. what I’m then left with are these interesting feelings of I have been that person and I have been that company that just wanted someone, just need that pay attention. Yeah, yeah. I just wanted someone to give me an opportunity. I just wanted someone to hear why what I had was valuable and important to stay, to say.
01;03;50;13 – 01;04;18;21
Unknown
And so I’m left after I send that message with the feeling that I’m being dismissive of that person. That was me for a very long time. And I that is one part of this that I’m struggling with because one, I don’t like anyone to feel dismissed. I specifically don’t like people who are in a one down position. I don’t I don’t mean that because their company hasn’t taken off yet.
01;04;18;21 – 01;04;42;27
Unknown
I just mean like, you’re not there yet, right? Yeah, it’s part of a startup culture. I don’t like how that feels. And then it makes me feel like I’m in some way, shape or form saying I’m better than. Or I’m more important than. And I don’t like to establish myself in that way with people. I think. I think you might be overthinking it a little bit.
01;04;43;00 – 01;05;03;04
Unknown
I understand completely where you’re coming from. but I, you know, I’m still in this situation where I’m reaching out to people, you know, when people reach out to me, let’s, you know, let’s collaborate on something. And there’s some people that I really don’t want to collaborate with. They’ve asked me, and I really have no interest in collaborating with them.
01;05;04;08 – 01;05;25;26
Unknown
and so I say, that sounds great. And right now we’re just slammed. It’s just me. I’m hoping in the next year to maybe add some staff and then maybe we can look into that, you know, and it’s like at some point you’ve got to take care of yourself and you can’t worry about how you’re going to affect other people.
01;05;25;29 – 01;05;51;24
Unknown
You have to do what’s best for yourself. And if you care like you do, apparently you want to at least express that in a way that’s professional and kind, but firm and honest. you know, so you say, this is what it is. This is what it it’s not. And who knows, maybe in the future that could happen, but right now it’s just it’s just not it’s not possible because you can’t.
01;05;51;26 – 01;06;09;13
Unknown
I’ve done this so many times where I put myself in really difficult situations. I’m in what am right now, actually, or I’m in a difficult, difficult situation where I’ve agreed to do something with someone and it turned out that it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. And now I’m into deep that I don’t think I can back out.
01;06;10;19 – 01;06;32;08
Unknown
it’s a subscriptions service for me. It’s us that got offered, and if you want to know what it is, it’s just five bucks a month, right? Right, right, right. Yeah. No, it has nothing to do with the two of you, but that’s that’s 2024 for me, right? Is I said I would prioritize myself. I would prioritize what my needs were.
01;06;32;23 – 01;06;55;13
Unknown
and I know that I would struggle with this at some point and have continued to struggle with this. I’m not used to making sure that my needs are met over the thoughts and feelings of other people, and it makes me uncomfortable when can I can I find 30 minutes? Sure, everyone can find 30 minutes, right? But the problem is I find 30 minutes for you.
01;06;55;13 – 01;07;20;21
Unknown
I go to this thing for four hours. I got to do this thing at this time, right? And I’m just constantly giving myself away to all of these other people. But I think that maybe is one of the things that’s hard about establishing boundaries when you’re also trying to take care of yourself is there’s the other person on the other side of that equation that doesn’t feel any less, doesn’t experience any less.
01;07;20;21 – 01;07;37;19
Unknown
So and I hear this other little part of me over here, both the codependent No More book and you, Rebecca, who’s saying and also that person can get their needs met in multiple people. You don’t need to be the savior. You don’t need to be the one who is making sure that they have a 30 minute meeting, right?
01;07;37;19 – 01;07;58;23
Unknown
You’re really not that important. So when I hear Marsha battling, saying to me, right, and so I constantly am going back and forth between this, I don’t need to be that person and also people. Many people want me to be that person. And then I’m like, well, they can rely on someone else. And then I have this thought that I’m like, well, maybe that situation isn’t going to be as good for them.
01;07;58;23 – 01;08;18;19
Unknown
And then I’ve sort of left them high and dry, and I’m just constantly this ping pong ball. Well, I think there’s a, there’s another, there’s another way I think you can potentially approach this is you don’t have to give up your time. You can make them go through some hoops. You can say, well, I don’t know what the situation is or what it is, but if they want to demo their product, be like some heirloom video.
01;08;19;17 – 01;08;38;07
Unknown
send me the top three things you want to talk about. Like you can make them jump through some hoops so that you can decide is that 30 minutes going to be work that, is it people don’t get to just grab 30 minutes on your calendar for any reason. They’ve got to go through a little bit of a checks and balances to make sure that it makes sense.
01;08;38;07 – 01;08;59;06
Unknown
And then that way you’re still validating them and they’re still giving their their pitch or whatever. and then you deduct, is that worth it or not. And then you can make the decision based on that. Is there somewhere is there something like a resource or something you can send them to to be like, I don’t have, you know, obviously you’d say it better than this, but I don’t have time.
01;08;59;06 – 01;09;19;04
Unknown
But here’s something that you can do or here’s someone you can talk to, or here’s something that we did that was helpful when we were in your position, that kind of thing. So you could be like, I can’t really talk to you right now, but look down this road, they they mainly want to meet with me because they want to update me on where things are at with their business.
01;09;19;06 – 01;09;36;19
Unknown
Great. Can’t they send us a couple bullet points in an email and to talk about potential opportunities for for collaboration? Right. Right, right. So I get it. Sometimes that’s tough. Some of your top, top three things. And then send me your top three ideas.
01;09;36;21 – 01;09;56;09
Unknown
Make them do the work. Yeah. No that’s that’s true. That’s true. Definitely. I mean and then but my my guilt comes in where now I’ve asked them to do something else. And then if I really don’t want to meet with them after finding that out now I’ve, in addition to saying no to them, also quote unquote wasted their time.
01;09;56;12 – 01;10;15;18
Unknown
But here’s what’s ironic that they would have wasted my time right about a 30 minute meeting. But that’s also your process. How do you know they don’t already have this pitch deck ready to go? And it’s just a template at email. It took them 30s. If they’re constantly rewriting emails and pitching to people, that’s their problem. They need to figure out how to be a better business people.
01;10;16;23 – 01;10;39;24
Unknown
when I, when I do RFP, I’m not rewriting an RFP every single time I have a standard document that I’m just sending. Yeah, immediately. There’s also, I think, something to be said, which is an interesting phenomenon that when you lead a startup company and that startup company then takes it to the next level, let’s call that the step up company.
01;10;39;26 – 01;10;59;25
Unknown
You really care deeply about those who are still at the startup company level, but also can’t go back there, especially because you’re so close to it, right? And you learned a lot. If I’m Google, then maybe I go back to the startup company and can dabble in that every once in a while. I’m not far enough away from that.
01;10;59;25 – 01;11;30;28
Unknown
I went from startup to step up, you know, to continue to go up. It’s a little too close for me and a little too raw for me. And so I think, that little differentiation is also interesting, that sometimes we can’t be the supporter encourager and conversation maker with someone who’s really close to where we just were or what we were just doing right.
01;11;31;24 – 01;11;50;25
Unknown
and maybe that doesn’t have to be something that I, that I share with them, but I do think that might be something that’s getting in the way of me even wanting to have this meeting. And there’s a fear there of I can’t go backwards right now. and yeah, you’re not in the mentor state. Yeah. Right. Right.
01;11;50;26 – 01;12;12;20
Unknown
No, you’re looking for people to mentor you, right? And push you or I finally found my group when I’m solid with them, and we now have a well-oiled machine. Right. I just want to ride that out for a little bit. Right? Not. I’m not interested in going back to hear about. Oh, well, I’m having this struggle with such and such, and we’re trying to grow our population from whatever, because then I’m starting to be like, oh God, I been there.
01;12;12;22 – 01;12;37;09
Unknown
Oh, okay. So little. That’s you’re also you’re also a solutions based processor. Yeah. So you’re constantly eating and helping people fix their own problems. So that’s part of the problem. Yeah. And you unfortunately have to protect yourself from that. Yeah. I still think that honesty is the best policy. And as long as you’re honest and you say, look, I’d really love to help you out, I’m just not in a position to do that.
01;12;37;11 – 01;13;00;26
Unknown
And you’re you’re a good writer. You can come up with a nice way to put that. Yeah, but I mean, that’s the truth. And if it were me, I would appreciate that. I would appreciate that more than getting a run around or, you know, dangling a carrot in front of me saying, you know, I don’t know, let’s try this maybe in a couple of months or whatever, you know, or try this or try that.
01;13;00;26 – 01;13;17;10
Unknown
And just usually if you’re prolonging the inevitable, if you’re going to meet with them and you’re ultimately not going to want to do anything anyway, just even if I do want to do something, I don’t have the time, effort or energy right now because of these other opportunities that are just much more solidified. I got my energy there.
01;13;17;11 – 01;13;44;28
Unknown
There you go. Right there. Maybe that’s just what I say. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with that. And they’ll understand. Yeah. And then they’ll pursue something that’s more in line with what makes sense for them. Yeah, yeah. I think, the moral of the story here is setting boundaries around empathy when you’re someone who has not historically done that, can feel real outside of your normal character and can feel rude.
01;13;45;01 – 01;14;12;16
Unknown
Oh, you feel a little egotistical and can feel, you know, difficult to work through. And, and one of my strategies has been to pause, just to pause, just just a pause for a minute, not hurry up and respond to the email, not catch me in a moment of weakness where I just send them my calendar link. Right?
01;14;12;18 – 01;14;33;07
Unknown
But to pause it, to say, I really need to figure out something’s coming up for me when I get this message. I know I don’t want to do it. I can identify that really clearly. That’s that’s part of part of it, right? Yes. Right. But the problem is I’ve always been able to identify it clearly. I just fast track that feeling and move right into, well, just do it.
01;14;33;09 – 01;14;53;06
Unknown
I’ll just do it anyway. Right. And so making sure that we’re pausing enough and asking ourselves, is this something we really want to do? And if not, what’s the kindest way we can move forward with a response to this that still honors the relationship that we had established or started with those people, but also, at the end of the day, honors ourself.
01;14;53;06 – 01;15;16;11
Unknown
Yeah. And that’s 2024 for me. Yeah. Honor myself, honor my own time, honor my own energy. I’ve been putting a lot of situations so far this year where people have reached out to me, asked me for advice, asked me for time, asked me for, and it has felt really uncomfortable for me to say no. Yeah, I will go to bed most nights being like, you didn’t check in with enough people today.
01;15;16;11 – 01;15;43;08
Unknown
You’re taking too much time up of other people’s, you people are asking you how you’re doing. You’re not asking enough how they are doing right. Like it’s just this constant little ticker in the back of my mind. And so I say that to say, as someone who’s currently working through it, I my guess is there’s a lot of people who listen to our show that are trying something new in 2024 or are trying to figure out, all the balance.
01;15;43;08 – 01;16;07;15
Unknown
Yeah, of what that balance will be like. And none of us have it figured out. We’re all doing the best we possibly can, and it’s important to talk it out and sort of figure out what we might be able to do differently. so I’ll end today with my little card. What are my cards called? Affirmation Cards, which says, I know that focusing my attention on things I cannot control distracts me from my journey.
01;16;08;10 – 01;16;40;09
Unknown
I am letting go. That is apropos. Welcome back. Yep. Cruising into the rest of the year we’re looking forward to spring, spring and being with our listeners and the really exciting things that are to come. Yes ma’am. More love the Power of Empathy podcast I loved that meet Bill. Isn’t empathy amazing? Well we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff.
01;16;40;16 – 01;17;08;11
Unknown
That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to More Love the Power of Empathy podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.