00;00;00;00 – 00;00;31;05
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin. Thanks for joining us on the Moor Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
00;00;31;05 – 00;00;57;00
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Oh, yay, I love this, and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world. Especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay.
00;00;57;02 – 00;01;11;25
Unknown
You know how every morning I go get my cup of coffee? Yeah. And usually I’m on the phone with you when I get sad. Cup of coffee? Yeah. Well, today, something happened that threw me completely off while I was on the phone with you. I didn’t tell you about it because I couldn’t talk about it in front of these people.
00;01;11;26 – 00;01;28;29
Unknown
Oh, let’s talk about it now. So I do need to say we were chatting and then you said. You said, wait, I gotta order my coffee and all this, and I said, okay. And then all of a sudden I heard this banging, and I thought, she’s banging on the counter, like, for attention like this. I think it was the the espresso machine, when she was.
00;01;29;02 – 00;01;43;10
Unknown
I’m assuming it’s a she was emptying it, but it definitely sounded like you were like. Excuse me. Gotta go. You would be. No, I would never. But I thought it was funny. I didn’t think that that was me putting the phone down on the counter when I order. Oh, yeah, I think that’s what was going on, so I.
00;01;43;11 – 00;01;59;17
Unknown
So I order and it’s the same guy. He is awesome. He’s so nice and I order from him. He’s like same thing today. And I’m like, yep, same thing today. But he’s got good boundaries because he is not going to be someone who, like, just wants to be my best friend and talk to me all the time like he’s a little more aloof.
00;01;59;17 – 00;02;22;29
Unknown
So I feel like I can get closer with him because he’s not, you know, just going to be my best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I order my coffee and I like to look at the paintings that are in junction 361, because they always have a new artist. It’s usually like every week or so. They feature new artist is a should that person be hired for the hotel in New Orleans?
00;02;23;01 – 00;02;44;12
Unknown
And that’s a video we’re going to put out there. Yeah. Voodoo. Yep. Yeah. The Voodoo tour ticket. Our tour of New Orleans. Yeah. I’m good. It was interesting. Yeah. Not that kind of art. This is actually like art that people. This was, like, oil on canvas, like, really? Yeah. Hey, look, that was really, really good. So here I am.
00;02;44;12 – 00;03;10;11
Unknown
I’m walking around looking at all the art while I’m waiting for my coffee. And then I get to this spot that has two couches that come together adjacent and like, an L, and there’s two people sitting there and they’re playing Scrabble and I, it’s like 830. That’s why it’s like eight something in the morning. So that’s I ran into that and was like, I feel like this is a lot going on.
00;03;10;11 – 00;03;35;02
Unknown
But then I was like, oh, is this a date? Is this like a early morning? We live upstairs and we came down here, so they both had a mug of coffee. They were young people. Yeah. Yes they were. They were younger than you, you know, they were young. And two they each had a white mug of coffee that had, you know, one of those heart things on top of them.
00;03;35;05 – 00;03;59;26
Unknown
Then they were playing Scrabble and then their food came up and they got the breakfast pizza that we’ve had before and something else. Okay. And I just remember thinking, who comes to a coffee shop at eight something in the morning? I’m Monday on a Monday to play Scrabble. That’s fast. And to me I wouldn’t do that on a Friday night.
00;03;59;27 – 00;04;16;09
Unknown
No you wouldn’t do that period. Never know. And you know what. You want to know why. Because I can’t stop. Yes. It’s not because I have a problem with Scrabble. You don’t love a good board game. I do love a good game. But Scrabble is literally a nightmare. It makes me think of that. Came to Indiana. Anagram. Can’t do it.
00;04;16;14 – 00;04;35;10
Unknown
One time when we still lived over in Brockport, Mark and I were playing Bananagrams, and I wrote the word haiku for a poem. For a poem? No, I know what it means. But I couldn’t keep track in my life. Apparently couldn’t spell it. He called me out on not spelling it correctly. And so then we went back and forth about me not spelling it correctly.
00;04;35;17 – 00;04;55;24
Unknown
And let’s just say that it was not spelled correctly, and it ended with me taking my arm and swiping. You are me. I can’t, I can’t the table flying everywhere. And so we joke now that we don’t we don’t play bananagrams anymore. It’s not it’s not allowed. And now he’s like, I don’t think that’s how you spell haiku.
00;04;55;25 – 00;05;14;05
Unknown
I’m like, yeah, it is. It wasn’t. It wasn’t like, does it really matter? I know only to people who are. Am I, am I still crying because we were making fun of Scott this morning? Scott about 3000. Yeah. Don’t talk to him about it. He’s in a bad mood. Don’t talk to him about it. But anyway, I. I’m still crying because of his excitement.
00;05;14;05 – 00;05;32;18
Unknown
Only because he got a new robot to clean his books. So we had to bring it back up. Yeah, right. Do I want that robot when I first? Yeah, I get it first, but only because the only reason I got my pool. I mean, we’re making fun of Scott, right? The. I have the same pool on the box.
00;05;32;18 – 00;05;50;07
Unknown
Yeah, but the only reason I got it is because we signed an NDA. Then we would never discuss our our Mexico trip because they gave us 30. They gave us a refund. And I promptly spent it on a pool in the back. That’s right. Put on a box. That’s right dear. Yeah. We can’t talk about it. We are sworn to secrecy about it.
00;05;50;09 – 00;06;05;22
Unknown
We were 30 because we had decided NDA had so many things happen. Yeah, that we were like, this is not okay. And they were like, ooh, that’s kind of not okay. And we will give you a ridiculous amount of money back, but you have to sign this NDA. I’m pretty sure I talked about the other day because I say, yeah, good.
00;06;05;25 – 00;06;26;15
Unknown
Yeah. I think we should post that, you know. Yeah. There goes your hotels. Out of business. Oh, well, I’m not surprised. Wow. Yeah. She is so funny. Oh, great. Smell the cake. Karen. Cat. Oh! My cat! All right. Looks like you pulled the Wheel of Fortune there. We’ve never done this one. Yeah, well, Kelly up the street tells you this.
00;06;26;15 – 00;06;43;24
Unknown
This is your card. I think you did pull it. One other time, but I don’t know it. Yes, but as I’m reading it, I’m like. It doesn’t make sense in the way that she said. So this must mean this version’s wheeling footprint. So it’s a, Looks like a I have a hurricane. Okay. Yeah, maybe. Maybe the eyes, maybe the eye of the tire.
00;06;43;25 – 00;07;09;02
Unknown
Can you saying that? Yeah. Right now. Oh, eye of the tiger. It’s the claim my crop is rising up to. The challenge of our rivals. Didn’t last. Survivor. Wow, dude, who made up those who don’t even know that? Okay, anyway. Good job. Okay, so that’s this. And it’s got a bunch of fish eat, to be exact. Are they koi?
00;07;09;04 – 00;07;32;15
Unknown
I think so, if they are, they’re not good. Okay, okay. All right. Note to the are the illustrators of the card. Maybe this fish sucks. This thing go on the wall of the hotel? In New Orleans. No, let’s. Yeah. Wheel of fortune. The Wheel of Fortune shows a whirlpool of flowing energy. Eat. Fish are drawn towards its center.
00;07;32;16 – 00;07;54;09
Unknown
The number eight stands for change and renewal. The whirlpools clockwise motion represents a turn towards the future. As fate steps in. To put us on a new and perhaps unexpected path. So the meaning is destiny. So this is not how she described it to me. She described it more like you. In order for you to be fulfilled, you have to have multiple things going on at the same time.
00;07;54;11 – 00;08;12;11
Unknown
Yeah, right. And so I’m again, I’d like to go to our other deck and just see later on. But anyway, so this has all aspects of your life are boosted with the wheel as you move toward and allow fate to take you in your own heart rhythm. And you took our glasses out for this. I know, wow. And your destined life direction.
00;08;12;16 – 00;08;31;15
Unknown
The card also shows you will be feeling generally optimistic and able to make the most of your luck turning unexpected opportunities into great decisions that change everything for the better. An additional meaning of the card is clairvoyance. So your intuition is heightened, or the person you were reading this far is developing spiritually. You have been calling me on a daily.
00;08;31;17 – 00;08;50;14
Unknown
Oh, say my premonition. I have had a premonition today. Yeah. So the advice the wheel is not so much doing as a receiving card. So enjoy. And appreciate the growth and good fortune that comes to you. Now go with the flow. So basically it’s saying every time you call me, you just believe me. Yes. Okay. Well, you should have been doing that before you needed a card to confirm that.
00;08;50;16 – 00;09;09;09
Unknown
But I do have been confused with a lot of premonition, especially about your health, a lot of premonitions now. And have I decided that my cat has diabetes? Yeah, well, that’s 100% sure he has diabetes. Yeah. And here’s how I know he drinks a lot of water. He was drinking the dirty kitchen sink water. Okay. He is thirsty.
00;09;09;10 – 00;09;34;06
Unknown
He is now sleeping in the sink. Okay. And I have decided he has diabetes. He wants the. He wants to absorb all the water. Yes. And he takes man shits, okay. And pees a lot. Okay. Do you think you’re falling down sick? And Sawyer is beside herself. Oh, wait. The other day die of diabetes. Well, the other day, when you told me about your story about Carter and how he was, like, having all the feelings about that.
00;09;34;09 – 00;09;56;27
Unknown
Yeah. Here’s Sawyer. I’m sitting on the toilet. She comes in the cats next to me, laying on the tile floor because. Yeah. With diabetes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so she’s brushing your teeth. She is. She’s been. Her name is Wilford Brimley. Yeah. So? So she’s brushing your teeth and she’s like, mom, you better enjoy this twice now. I go, why?
00;09;56;28 – 00;10;15;14
Unknown
She goes, because he’d be dead soon. Oh. And I was like, excuse me? She goes, don’t you know cat’s lifespan is about eight years. I know, what the heck. Yeah. She’s young. I thought I said, I go now and she’s like, well, have you seen him? Yeah. Yeah, I’m a big boy. He’s a big boy. He can’t see very well now.
00;10;15;19 – 00;10;33;22
Unknown
But diabetic diabetes I think so. And I’m like, well don’t take him to that. It’s like, no. Oh my God. Yeah. Poor thing is the worst. It’s like they’re going to come back and be like, hey, are going to spend all this money or be this, is this what it is? No. Like, put him down or leave them as is and let him.
00;10;33;22 – 00;10;50;00
Unknown
What am I going to do? Put it, put it or put one of those little pieces around his neck. But yeah. Give some insulin. Yes. Yeah, that’s what it is. Yeah. It goes right on his little cat arm. Right. His little cat, our Texas blood sugar. And then you give him his insulin when he needs it. Yeah. Prick.
00;10;50;05 – 00;11;09;20
Unknown
Paul. Everyday. What are you. That’s how that works for cats, I don’t know. I really don’t know. I don’t know if. I don’t know if cats get diabetes. Well, yeah, well, you’ve determined, just like I’ve determined with all the premonitions I do for you, that I’m real clear what’s going on with all your health related issues and so much so, because I’m really tapping into my spiritual side.
00;11;09;23 – 00;11;32;24
Unknown
I, was on tiny Humans of Ron Chester exchange. Whatever. Something this mom had posted. I think it’s supposed to be like a spot where you are like, hey, do you have, pack and play? Because I need one, and I’ll trade for babies. Not for little people. Tiny humans. Oh, like like kids. Oh, yes. Why? Why are we not little people heads?
00;11;32;26 – 00;11;48;04
Unknown
I do have a lot of. It’s not. It’s not a cute name or whoever, I don’t know. That was. I don’t know if it was. Yeah, right. But let’s just say that the purpose of this group is not for moms to go out there and do what this mom did, which was she said, I’m really here just desperately asking for some help.
00;11;48;04 – 00;12;09;13
Unknown
And she put some pictures on there of her child’s ankle and foot, and there’s like six different pictures in there. This looks this poor child looks like he burn victim. This is really, really bad. And she keeps referring to it as eczema. And she keeps saying that she’s gone to all of these different dermatology. Yes. So I take it upon myself to be like I have I have to fix this.
00;12;09;13 – 00;12;30;16
Unknown
And the only thing that keeps coming up to me in a premonition spiritual realm is that there is something much more internal going on for this poor kiddo. It’s an autoimmune. It it has to be, it’s a reaction to an allergy. We have to clear this from the inside. This is not a topical thing. And why are we just going to these dermatologists?
00;12;30;16 – 00;12;49;22
Unknown
Right? I write a whole whole thing on it. And as I’m writing it, I’m like, who the hell do you think you are that I’m sorry I connected with spirit. And, I mean, it was very clear. And you asked the pendulum, I did it, I didn’t, but I was so clear, I was like, oh my gosh, this looks like it hurts so bad.
00;12;49;22 – 00;13;07;01
Unknown
I feel so badly for this kiddo. But but then I turned to Mark and I’m like, I’m telling you, if this was my child and that’s what his foot looked like, I would not be like, I mean, this poor mom has to be going to all these different people. This one of the dermatologist recommended he wear wet pajamas.
00;13;07;06 – 00;13;27;21
Unknown
What another dermatologist recommended a bleach bath. Like this. Like, this is the level for these kids. And when I’m thinking wet pajamas, I’m thinking into just that doesn’t feel like what would soothe this at all. Again, I’m not a dermatologist. I have no idea. But I’m like, this poor mom is just looking for an answer. And again. And then again, here I am and I cut my finger open.
00;13;27;21 – 00;13;44;18
Unknown
You said it needed to be moist. Yeah. And then the doctor said, do not do that. No you don’t. I said, you need to keep that moisture. Right. He said, no, you do not in there. I said, you need to keep it super moist. No, you do not. We get there. The woman’s like not picking up a dry right.
00;13;44;21 – 00;14;06;16
Unknown
Well, that was before I got in touch with my spiritual side. Right, right. Speaking of speaking of spiritual side speech that we do we do side interaction. Yes. And then the theme song. Yes. Okay. Yes. Why don’t you do a formal introduction now? You okay? So really try and try and let you go there. And I like, let the bird fly boom fall right on the ground.
00;14;06;17 – 00;14;31;21
Unknown
I don’t I don’t do introduction. Leah. Well board, we are really excited to have you on today’s show. And I can’t wait to one tell our listeners that we found you the absolute perfect guest. That is the mixture of Aaron and Rebecca together. It is. And we’re not. You know what Leah calls herself? And we’re going to tell you what she calls herself in a song that Rebecca and I made so happen.
00;14;31;23 – 00;14;48;13
Unknown
It just so happen to sing to each other when we called each other this morning. So, like, I don’t know her. Right. So let’s let’s start by. I call you and you were like, hey. And I said, we’re just going to reenact hey. Yeah. I said, oh, hey. And I said, we got a guest today. And I said, I know.
00;14;48;17 – 00;15;15;18
Unknown
And so excited. And that really, I know she’s the mystic autistic, mystic autistic, oh, mystic autistic mystic autistic who? Boop boop boop boop gunmetal. Oh oh. Oh. It’s clear that is now officially your theme song. Feel free to. You have all free copyrights. In fact, you can call it a later. We in the sound system with maybe some.
00;15;15;19 – 00;15;37;16
Unknown
Oh yeah, oh yeah. Wait, there’s some mistakes in the background. Yeah. So everybody heard this. This is my property now I mean y’all. Yeah. That’s how you do it in life with a beat behind it and all of that. So yes, come back to me and say, hey, I wrote that. I mean, I feel like when I took a Grammy for it, I’ll give you a shout.
00;15;37;18 – 00;16;01;08
Unknown
That’s I know the audience that’s going to be, you know, we’ll sing it for her. Yeah, yeah. And then they’re going to be like, baby, that sounds vaguely familiar to the original. I know it would be like smelly Cat. Remember Phoebe with smelly Cat and crazy? Yes yes yes yes yes. Yeah. So so yes. You’re so. I’m excited.
00;16;01;08 – 00;16;19;13
Unknown
I can’t wait to tell the guests about you. So, I’m going to just read a little bit from your bio here, because I think that this is so fascinating. Rebecca has already said that, we’re going to need ours in this hot seat because she thinks I’m going to have so many questions, and I know. So, from your bio, Leo.
00;16;19;13 – 00;16;45;25
Unknown
Well, born is a neurodivergent Reiki healer, writer, public speaker, and self-love sorceress. As the mystic autistic, she empowers people to rid themselves of energetic gunk so that they can get back to the source of all that’s good and true their true magical selves. A born cluster, Leah took the long route to joy, but often searching in a very wrong places along the way.
00;16;45;25 – 00;17;17;13
Unknown
She earned a BA in English Literature and a master’s degree in Creative Writing in Art history, and lived in Texas, California, and now lives in Colorado. After 40 years of struggling with anxiety and depression, in 2020, Leah’s life restarted with a jolt of grace, and she hasn’t looked back. When she was diagnosed with autism in 2021, her mission became clear she’s here to help people, especially the neurodiverse, get clarity and peace so that they can live the joyful lives they deserve.
00;17;17;15 – 00;17;41;06
Unknown
Leah is a trained Reiki healer, habit coach and yoga teacher. Her passion is getting closer to source, and her mission is to help you empower your magical self. When she has a podcast and a Reiki studio with the Empower Your Magical Self name. So without further ado, Leah, we cannot wait to hear from you. We want to hear your story, your journey.
00;17;41;06 – 00;18;00;15
Unknown
We want to hear how you got diagnosed so much later in life, like all of it. So jump right in and tell us a little bit about yourself. Okay, well I’m not going to go just monologue. I’ll give you some intro and then we’ll go back and forth. I’m sure that’s what you had planned anyway. So, I mean,
00;18;00;17 – 00;18;29;19
Unknown
Hello everybody. I learned from Lee genetics, born in 1972. What what? Sagittarius. Oh, yeah. We we may be millennials by, quote unquote definition. Well, I think I’m technically Gen X 8185 is the cutoff date for Gen X is what I understand. Then you’re Gen X, I know that was very disappointing because you want me in a different generation.
00;18;29;19 – 00;18;49;26
Unknown
Hoping 81 was the cut 82 was the cutoff. No I mean I, I would not be caught. You know it’s all very we were raised as well. I mean you and I have run different parents. I think our parents raised you and I as Gen X, but a lot of our friends were raised as millennials. Because we graduated in the year 2000.
00;18;49;28 – 00;19;18;18
Unknown
So okay. But you said 72 Leah. That is when she was, you were born in 72 and 51. Now did you say December 15th. Oh I’m December 27th. Are you a statue or are you Capricorn. You’re Capricorn. Well okay. Now technically I’m a Capricorn, but Aaron says I’m Sagittarius energy all day long. That’s interesting. See, I identify as an Aries.
00;19;18;21 – 00;19;37;22
Unknown
Oh. And I identify as a sign serious. Okay. All right. Here we go I love this I’m affirming. Capricorn. You are Capricorn always a Capricorn I am the poster child for Capricorn. And then I think I’m a part two. You’re like no I’m not. Actually, there’s no identity confusion here with my sign. This. Do you know I’ll know your moon, moon and rising signs.
00;19;37;22 – 00;20;01;19
Unknown
Because my morning rising or no, no, I’m not straight. Talks about that all the time that I have to do that and it’s free. Okay. In one of the sites. You. And so I’m a triple fire sign. Sagittarius and Harry’s are both fire signs. And I have Aries moon and Rising, so I am all fire. That probably explains a lot of my early issues, because I’m a very fiery person.
00;20;01;25 – 00;20;21;04
Unknown
I also have hyperhidrosis, which is a kind of an odd, nervous disorder, which means that my hands and feet and face sweat pretty much constantly. It’s a terrible, terrible affliction that most people haven’t heard of. But, you know, when you see somebody and they’re sweaty, you think, what the hell? Are they lying? Are they sick? What’s going on?
00;20;21;04 – 00;20;41;21
Unknown
It’s not like a welcoming thing, right? So you just tell them you’re a triple fire sign. That’s the reason you’re. You’re freaking triple fire. You’re trying to let off some of that damn heat. Yeah. The agreed. But when you’re eight years old, you don’t really have the words for. Yeah, I was bored. I’m sweating. No, this happened when you were a child, right?
00;20;41;24 – 00;21;01;20
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, I was born sweating. Yeah. Okay. So when I was in elementary school in Texas, where it’s like 102 degrees every freaking day, you know, I was the weirdo. All the little kids were like, oh, she’s handicapped. She’s well, she’s. You see? Oh, don’t touch her, you know. Oh, it was a very terrible. Yeah, yeah, it was really horrible.
00;21;01;20 – 00;21;22;08
Unknown
And it’s, there’s nothing that you can change about yourself. Right. Which is like a small aside, which I think is fascinating. One of the things I’m working on with my son Carter right now is, of something based on a video you sent. If you can’t change it within 30s, then we can’t discuss it with someone. So if it’s not something that they, you know, if they have something on their face, they can change that in 30s.
00;21;22;08 – 00;21;39;13
Unknown
So you can say to them things like, I think you have something right here, but if it’s something like you were talking about super sweaty hands, super sweaty, it’s not something they can change about themselves in 30s then that’s not something we talk about with that person. Yeah. So you know. Yeah, well, it makes me feel really good.
00;21;39;16 – 00;21;59;20
Unknown
That’s a good rule of thumb. I grew up in Texas, rural Texas, in the early 70s. So, I mean, it was like it was kind of like being a Spartan. It was like, you’re not happy working until you’re happy because of a thing. You know, it was just really. I mean, my parents didn’t beat me. My father was horrible, but, you know, but it was just a very oppressive childhood.
00;21;59;23 – 00;22;21;11
Unknown
And I didn’t fit in because my interest at eight years old was like the English royalty as it was when Princess Diana was getting married. So I always wanted to talk about, you know, what do you think about Princess Elizabeth’s, relationship with Princess Margaret? And, like, are you, you know. Oh, let me put in a mood clue.
00;22;21;14 – 00;22;44;18
Unknown
Now that there’s something wacky about this little girl, you know? But back then, it was only boys that were autistic and, you know, not true. But that’s pretty much what they thought. And also, if you’re autistic, if you’re going to be really good at math, which I’m not, you’re going to be sitting somewhere rocking in a corner, which I never have.
00;22;44;18 – 00;23;12;10
Unknown
You know, my stem is off twirling by myself, you know, which is a little thing to do. So there was never any point at which they were like, this child shows signs of autism. Instead, I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety because I was freaking picked on all the time and so unhappy at my life. So I just set off a whole trend of basically 40 years of being suicidal.
00;23;12;12 – 00;23;30;27
Unknown
Wow. It was really. I didn’t think that there would ever be a time in my life that I like to be really open about this, because I know that there are people out there who are in this situation. I know there are, because there are a lot more people in that situation than we think about, especially women.
00;23;31;00 – 00;23;53;11
Unknown
Yes, because it shows like we were talking about and even ADHD or in women shows up very differently. Yeah. And, you know, we’re just talking about that now. It’s crazy. Yeah. Is absolutely crazy. And it’s, you know, they didn’t even study ADHD in women until like, the late 90s. They were like, it’s that. Yeah, but yeah.
00;23;53;11 – 00;24;27;16
Unknown
And even then it’s. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Keep going. Yeah. So struggling with depression, anxiety, tons of medications are depressed and anxiety. Psychiatrist. Psychologist is everything. I was just convinced I’m not going to be a happy person. I kind of had thought to myself something in my past life must have been so terrible. I must have been like Hitler or something, to have been born in a situation where it seemed so absolutely impossible for me to have any shred of happiness.
00;24;27;18 – 00;24;57;01
Unknown
I look back, and I think I had distractions from my depression, from my unhappiness. But I did never have happiness until 2020, which was a really long friggin time to live without ever knowing. Happiness is really long time. I think the grace that exist that I was able to turn my life around at in my late 40s. So I’m telling people who are listening, it’s not to let anybody, always say, oh, wow, you.
00;24;57;08 – 00;25;31;16
Unknown
I picked up on was like, if I was, am I a mental health, provider? Yes. So what I really picked up on is the depth of the hatred that you had and the disgrace that you felt associated with your life. To have associated that with a past life regression of Hitler like that, to me, is such a zaps of darkness and sadness and depression that at that level, right, it wasn’t like, oh, I must have done something really bad in my my past life.
00;25;31;16 – 00;26;07;11
Unknown
You were like, I must have been one of the absolute worst villains in in the history of time, because that’s how much depth and and and harm you had felt. And that’s, that’s so sad that you had to experience that. Did you ever have any like, so you said distractions from that along the way, but there were never really any moments of hope or happiness or like, oh my gosh, maybe I’m finally turning this around during that time, did it always just feel like a distraction?
00;26;07;14 – 00;26;37;10
Unknown
I don’t know that I would have characterized it as a distraction at the time, because I didn’t know what real happiness felt like. So if I would get an exciting job or a new boyfriend. Sure. Yeah. Everything’s going to be great. I’m fixed. Yeah, yeah. And then, of course, that’s not truth. That’s not how reality works. So within a couple of weeks, maybe a month at the most, I was down lower than I had been before because, oh, I failed again.
00;26;37;12 – 00;26;56;11
Unknown
I had this great opportunity, and I screwed it up. What a screw up. Yeah, right. But it’s so easy. It’s so easy to get into that mindset. Oh, absolutely. If you’re a little child who has a father who’s telling you, why aren’t you like other kids? Why are you like this? What’s wrong with you? Oh, wow.
00;26;56;11 – 00;27;11;26
Unknown
Yeah, I hate that. You know what it. You know I do, and I don’t. I don’t want to say this all all too. So people can say, well, but it’s here. Oh, I’m so sorry for you, I pity you. I want people to know this is how bad it was. And now I’m, like, the happiest person I know.
00;27;11;26 – 00;27;33;29
Unknown
Seriously. So it were really, honestly, I swear to God can change. If I had heard me saying that ten years ago, I would have said that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. So I’m telling you, listen to me. I was where you are. I saw absolutely no hope for the future. None whatsoever I could not was the turning point.
00;27;34;01 – 00;27;59;27
Unknown
Yeah. And what happened that was like, Holy Covid and I don’t know how. Okay. All right. I think you’re the first person who was like, hey, COVID’s all right. Look, I’m the only person who looks like real happy for I love okay. Wow. Okay. Great talk. Mark. I have never been comfortable working in situations with other people.
00;27;59;29 – 00;28;23;07
Unknown
I’m so self-conscious. I’m so I’m. Now I know that I’m autistic. My mind works differently than other people. I need to be in a quiet place where people aren’t talking around me. I have very specific needs to produce high quality work, which I’m very capable of doing, and so I was never able to keep a job. This was seemed like the utter failure of my life.
00;28;23;10 – 00;28;47;29
Unknown
All of a sudden Covid happened. Everybody’s working at home, I’m kicking ass. Everybody wants to hire me because I’m like the best worker they can imagine. You know, all of a sudden I realize, okay, this is something’s weird. Something’s not lining up. I’m happy as a clam. It’s it’s Covid. Nobody’s going outside. That thrills me. I love being inside and maybe going out in my yard.
00;28;48;04 – 00;29;11;03
Unknown
That’s like the limit of my comfort. Maybe to the grocery store that I run back home. That’s cool. So it just all these pieces started to coming together. And also, I will say that in England there is a lot more knowledge and, talk about women being autistic and being diagnosed later in life. And because of social media.
00;29;11;03 – 00;29;30;20
Unknown
I know there are a lot of bads about it, but because of social media, I’ve connected with a lot of women in media and media in England who had had extremely similar circumstances to mine and were autistic, and it had been the furthest thing from my mind. I never, ever would have thought I’d have some, but I at first I started saying neurodivergent.
00;29;30;21 – 00;29;53;23
Unknown
I’m neurodivergent. Yeah, pretty sure about that. That’s the way I identify. I feel like I really am in a group with these women who are neurodivergent. And then I would think, but what’s the next? What’s the next? Because it’s been so intense my entire life. And when I talk to my beloved, primary care physician, my God, I’m one of the luckiest people in the world because I have this woman who just has my back.
00;29;53;25 – 00;30;13;29
Unknown
And I went to her and said, do you ever thought that I might be autistic? And she was like, you know what? I didn’t want to say? Like, oh, wow, that’s so she has my note. That’s my universe. Where’s my notepad? Listen, Leah, this is like, this is hilarious. So Rebecca has been telling me, I mean, would you say it’s been a year?
00;30;14;01 – 00;30;41;11
Unknown
Well, I’ve thought it for a long time. Oh my God. But coming right out and saying it to your face because of social media things, you’re going to cry about it now. Just things on social media would come out and I’d be like, Holy shit, that’s Erin all day. And then we would like, joke around. And when we started traveling almost every other week and like, we were basically living together, it was like even more, I’m like, okay, okay, but she’s keeping this all to herself.
00;30;41;11 – 00;31;04;22
Unknown
Leah, stop saying negative. It’s not I know, I know, it’s not like I know. But all of a sudden one day she sends me this social media, this woman, maybe she was from England, right. And basically this woman is like, so I never knew that I was neurodivergent. But here’s the things that I do that make me neurodiverse.
00;31;04;25 – 00;31;27;26
Unknown
I swear to God, Leah, it was me. It was on there. Every country and a person every single morning. Now I’m 42, okay? And never ever in my I have, I have often felt like I either understand things differently than people, or I jump to a conclusion quicker than other people do, or that people’s minds don’t work the way that mine do.
00;31;27;29 – 00;31;53;06
Unknown
And I’ve never really thought of that as a negative. I’ve just been really frustrated by it because my my sense of that is like, why can’t you get there? What is the problem with you? Like, this is not hard to understand. You say this, this is what happens and then this is where we go. Right. Yeah. And so then it was sort of turned to me as oh well this is, this is your superpower.
00;31;53;06 – 00;32;12;15
Unknown
And I’m like wow I really like that. That sounds great okay. So I’m just good at these things and other people just aren’t as good at these particular things. There’s tons of things I’m not great at that other people are so okay. We can embrace that. I also think your journey with your child has opened my eyes to seeing the parallels between you and him.
00;32;12;20 – 00;32;32;16
Unknown
Now he’s much more extreme, yeah, than you are. And I think you mask a lot. Yes. And I think you’re also a woman. Yeah. And as these things are, I’m playing. I’m like, oh my God, he’s the same. She only wear certain shirts. She has to wear certain shoes. She has to be. She only has certain things. You feel you eat the same.
00;32;32;16 – 00;32;48;29
Unknown
Yeah. Thing for lunch every single day. Like just weird ass shit that I’m like what and not. And I don’t think anything of that. And I’m so adaptable. I’m like, Aaron needs Chick-Fil-A. That’s fine. Right? But just do it. Same thing right here. This whole time you’ve been telling me how messed up I am. Oh, I gotta take it.
00;32;48;29 – 00;33;11;11
Unknown
Oh, I like you’re so late because I’m so confused why you’re so whimsical over there. Life is not that whimsy, right? Right. And so. So what? These moments keep coming up. Coming up. Which is why when we say mystic autistic. Oh, Rebecca’s the mystic, I’m the autistic. And this is all brand new to me, which is why she’s like, we kind of have these two hour long conversations because I’m going to have all the conversation, all the questions.
00;33;11;11 – 00;33;37;01
Unknown
But when we are able to identify and not label, I don’t like the word label, but we’re able to relate and validate. It’s like, that’s why she is. That’s why we have to do this. Okay, it’s fine with me. But the masking is really interesting. So Leah, it sounds like you either were not doing a lot of masking or that it was hard for you to mask, because when you say things like people were like, oh wow, you know, she’s doing this weird thing.
00;33;37;07 – 00;33;59;02
Unknown
Oh, wow. Right. I don’t I don’t remember a lot of times where that would happen to me when I was a young kid. I think I just wanted so desperately to make sure that I blended in again, or masked whatever was going on for me to fit in with kids. And I did that through a tremendous amount of empathy and care and compassion for other people.
00;33;59;04 – 00;34;21;18
Unknown
So can you speak about that? Were you masking when you were younger? Like, did what? What came about for you when you finally got this diagnosis? Okay. So that’s two different questions. And I do feel like I’m masked. However, I will say, for one thing, you can’t really masks dripping, sweaty hands. That’s not something you can mask.
00;34;21;18 – 00;34;46;18
Unknown
So that’s something people saw about me always. There were it was, you know, akin to having a different colored skin. It was like people saw you coming with the sweat. So there’s, there’s really no masking there. However I did go through the big oh God, I want to be a cheerleader so much, I think I’m going to die thing where I just, I was clumsy, I did not fit in.
00;34;46;18 – 00;35;10;29
Unknown
It broke my heart to a level that has hardly been touched since then. I think you understand, having both been pre-teen girls, how intense the time is, and I learned so much to be like other little girls. And I wanted to have a cute little boyfriend, and I just was weird. I had great big boobs when I was nine years old.
00;35;10;29 – 00;35;36;10
Unknown
I was just, maybe. But that checklist, big boobs, maybe that was a different little child. So I tried to mask. I don’t think it really took too well, because of the sweat and the boobs and everything. And, you know, I will say, from my mystical standpoint now, I believe you all ready for me to get weird on this.
00;35;36;10 – 00;35;55;20
Unknown
You ready? Oh, you need to get where? Okay, okay. Wow. This is a really good interview. I bet you wish you could see more. But you can’t unless they want to subscribe to be a part of our even more love service. Oh, we have that. We sure do have that. Oh, my gosh, that’s up and running. It’s up and running.
00;35;55;20 – 00;36;18;29
Unknown
You can sign up to be a chakra aligner or a voodoo visionary. In order to see even more of this guest interview. You want highlights? Be a chakra aligner. You want the full on video. Be a voodoo visionary. All you have to do is click below. Sign up and be a part of our even more love community.
00;36;19;02 – 00;36;42;26
Unknown
Yeah. So it’s just it’s been really interesting to watch this unfold because again, nothing you do rubs me in the wrong way. It’s just who you are. I’ve always just accepted it. What we call in our relationship. Like I’m the grounded one, right? So she gets to be as flighty and fun and mythical and whatever that she wants to, because she always what we were talking about the other day in the shower on FaceTime, it’s fine.
00;36;42;26 – 00;37;07;05
Unknown
We just do it all the time. Is, that I’m home base? Yeah, right. She’s like, I just feel so good that you are this home base that I can keep coming back to because you’re steadfast in your committed and your judgment, you know, is just solidly in this place. So she can go off and be as whimsy and carefree as she wants to, but she always knows, boom!
00;37;07;05 – 00;37;25;07
Unknown
We can come back to basics. And I love the fact that I can be solid core, you know, practical. But then when we are out and she’s like, we’re going to this random thing, I’m like, oh my God, this is fun, right? Right. You’re all trolled. The fun, right? But then boom, went back to French fries and a Pepe.
00;37;25;07 – 00;37;45;05
Unknown
Right, right. No, no, I just, I just because I know you so well, you’ll make me think in it and I validate it for you. And you’re like, I feel so clean. And then we go do it. Yeah. And then we move on. But it allows me this freedom to do some things that are not things I ever, in a million years, would come up with myself or want to do myself or want to do with other people.
00;37;45;05 – 00;38;06;08
Unknown
Right. Because it wouldn’t feel safe right to me to do that. But you’re open minded and willing. Yeah. So I with you rate ratio. Right. Just with anyone know there are some times you put your foot down. Yes there are most times you don’t like for example, we would go to conferences and we was suggested to us to dress identical.
00;38;06;10 – 00;38;27;14
Unknown
So knowing she has sensory issues going right, look at Lee is knowing she has and I’m well, I mean, I’m basically wearing lingerie tonight. I’m a wild card, right? She she is same brand cross my heart bra to my guy has to wear underwear type of person, right? Yes. To wear underwear. I’m sorry I never wear this.
00;38;27;16 – 00;38;47;24
Unknown
Sorry. Layers on my socks. By the way, Lee, it’s like yeah, of course we’re wearing underwear, right, right. She. I say to her, I’m packing our outfits. I don’t check with her. Nothing does she put that shit on and and do what she needs to do 100%. Yes you will. I will pump the brakes if we’re. Really. However, did I have three backup outfits just in case?
00;38;47;24 – 00;39;05;11
Unknown
Whatever you picked, that’s what I like. What you’re wearing today. That’s what I did. But I take you into consideration, right? Correct? Yes. Right. Like you are willing. You’re not so rigid. Yes. And you’re not so rule bound. No, I mean, you are, but you’re not. Oh, right. But again, person specific I want to be very clear I agree.
00;39;05;11 – 00;39;20;24
Unknown
So even someone like my husband who’s like, we’re going to go do this, we’re going to go do that. If it doesn’t feel safe and secure and like he’s got this under wraps, that’s on me, I’m not doing it. That’s actually remember the boat? Well, he talks about the boat he’s driving the boat. The boat’s not okay. Someone needs to take control of this boat.
00;39;20;24 – 00;39;44;10
Unknown
That’s right, that’s right. Yeah. So it’s it’s I think that’s that probably why you didn’t notice these things until your son. That’s much more extreme. You started connecting and you’re like okay okay. Well whenever you see it in another person, don’t you feel this is Leah when you see it in someone else, it can be much more clear for me, I was, I just I walked through life just being so frustrated a lot of the time.
00;39;44;10 – 00;40;16;12
Unknown
I don’t understand why people are not like me and people like me, and people have a tendency to gravitate toward me, right? Which has been even more confusing because stereotypically we’ve been taught that neurodivergent people repel people because of their right personalities or things that they say or their harshness or whatever. Correct. Well, I have a tendency to draw people in writing equally as clear, rule bound, you know, but that tends to be something that people relate to.
00;40;16;12 – 00;40;48;04
Unknown
So I never associated that stereotypically with neurodivergent. Correct. But I think that’s where the confusion as your son’s growing up for people in the field have been like your what do they say about him? That’s a very complex, a very complex, very common. And so when Aaron and I dissect everything for 37 hours, you’re right. We’ve realized that it’s because she, as the human being that she is, has interjected early intervention from the moment he was born.
00;40;48;06 – 00;41;08;21
Unknown
And created his complexities. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because when that, when you said no mom I will never forget when you said that that was a gold star moment in my life when you were like this kids received early intervention services through you. Yes. Just being who you are as being his mom. And that’s why he’s complex. That’s right.
00;41;08;21 – 00;41;22;23
Unknown
Because he wouldn’t be presenting as someone who. No way. When I’m at the Fairport Canal days and he says, mom, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me here. I had a lot of fun, and I wouldn’t have known that. I would have enjoyed it had you not brought me here on the way out. Right? Right.
00;41;22;23 – 00;41;39;27
Unknown
He. That’s not something. Had he not been conditioned or early intervention that necessarily would have said, that’s right. So then he is he is complex and people get confused by him and that’s why they have him doing all these crazy ass assessments. That’s right. Because they’re like, well, he does do this, but he doesn’t do this. He doesn’t fit the profile that he does over here.
00;41;39;27 – 00;42;00;20
Unknown
But. Right, exactly. So I mean, it’s just proof that you’re the queen of all things and maybe you should take over. Let’s just switch everything. We should run everything, right? Yeah. I mean, we we I think we probably can. I don’t want to run anything, girl, but I’m. I’m glad to, be helpful. It. Oh, yeah. It’s weirdness.
00;42;00;22 – 00;42;22;26
Unknown
Hey, lovers. It’s Scott from inside the bubble, and, this one ran a little longer than I expected, so we’re breaking it up into two sessions next week, we’ll get part two of The Mystic Autistic with Leah Wellborn. Don’t forget to subscribe to even more Love Dot super cast.com and we’ll see you next week. I loved that. Me too.
00;42;22;28 – 00;42;56;18
Unknown
Isn’t empathy amazing? Well we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more love the Power of Empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin. Thanks for joining us on the Moor Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
00;00;31;05 – 00;00;57;00
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Oh, yay, I love this, and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world. Especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay.
00;00;57;02 – 00;01;11;25
Unknown
You know how every morning I go get my cup of coffee? Yeah. And usually I’m on the phone with you when I get sad. Cup of coffee? Yeah. Well, today, something happened that threw me completely off while I was on the phone with you. I didn’t tell you about it because I couldn’t talk about it in front of these people.
00;01;11;26 – 00;01;28;29
Unknown
Oh, let’s talk about it now. So I do need to say we were chatting and then you said. You said, wait, I gotta order my coffee and all this, and I said, okay. And then all of a sudden I heard this banging, and I thought, she’s banging on the counter, like, for attention like this. I think it was the the espresso machine, when she was.
00;01;29;02 – 00;01;43;10
Unknown
I’m assuming it’s a she was emptying it, but it definitely sounded like you were like. Excuse me. Gotta go. You would be. No, I would never. But I thought it was funny. I didn’t think that that was me putting the phone down on the counter when I order. Oh, yeah, I think that’s what was going on, so I.
00;01;43;11 – 00;01;59;17
Unknown
So I order and it’s the same guy. He is awesome. He’s so nice and I order from him. He’s like same thing today. And I’m like, yep, same thing today. But he’s got good boundaries because he is not going to be someone who, like, just wants to be my best friend and talk to me all the time like he’s a little more aloof.
00;01;59;17 – 00;02;22;29
Unknown
So I feel like I can get closer with him because he’s not, you know, just going to be my best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I order my coffee and I like to look at the paintings that are in junction 361, because they always have a new artist. It’s usually like every week or so. They feature new artist is a should that person be hired for the hotel in New Orleans?
00;02;23;01 – 00;02;44;12
Unknown
And that’s a video we’re going to put out there. Yeah. Voodoo. Yep. Yeah. The Voodoo tour ticket. Our tour of New Orleans. Yeah. I’m good. It was interesting. Yeah. Not that kind of art. This is actually like art that people. This was, like, oil on canvas, like, really? Yeah. Hey, look, that was really, really good. So here I am.
00;02;44;12 – 00;03;10;11
Unknown
I’m walking around looking at all the art while I’m waiting for my coffee. And then I get to this spot that has two couches that come together adjacent and like, an L, and there’s two people sitting there and they’re playing Scrabble and I, it’s like 830. That’s why it’s like eight something in the morning. So that’s I ran into that and was like, I feel like this is a lot going on.
00;03;10;11 – 00;03;35;02
Unknown
But then I was like, oh, is this a date? Is this like a early morning? We live upstairs and we came down here, so they both had a mug of coffee. They were young people. Yeah. Yes they were. They were younger than you, you know, they were young. And two they each had a white mug of coffee that had, you know, one of those heart things on top of them.
00;03;35;05 – 00;03;59;26
Unknown
Then they were playing Scrabble and then their food came up and they got the breakfast pizza that we’ve had before and something else. Okay. And I just remember thinking, who comes to a coffee shop at eight something in the morning? I’m Monday on a Monday to play Scrabble. That’s fast. And to me I wouldn’t do that on a Friday night.
00;03;59;27 – 00;04;16;09
Unknown
No you wouldn’t do that period. Never know. And you know what. You want to know why. Because I can’t stop. Yes. It’s not because I have a problem with Scrabble. You don’t love a good board game. I do love a good game. But Scrabble is literally a nightmare. It makes me think of that. Came to Indiana. Anagram. Can’t do it.
00;04;16;14 – 00;04;35;10
Unknown
One time when we still lived over in Brockport, Mark and I were playing Bananagrams, and I wrote the word haiku for a poem. For a poem? No, I know what it means. But I couldn’t keep track in my life. Apparently couldn’t spell it. He called me out on not spelling it correctly. And so then we went back and forth about me not spelling it correctly.
00;04;35;17 – 00;04;55;24
Unknown
And let’s just say that it was not spelled correctly, and it ended with me taking my arm and swiping. You are me. I can’t, I can’t the table flying everywhere. And so we joke now that we don’t we don’t play bananagrams anymore. It’s not it’s not allowed. And now he’s like, I don’t think that’s how you spell haiku.
00;04;55;25 – 00;05;14;05
Unknown
I’m like, yeah, it is. It wasn’t. It wasn’t like, does it really matter? I know only to people who are. Am I, am I still crying because we were making fun of Scott this morning? Scott about 3000. Yeah. Don’t talk to him about it. He’s in a bad mood. Don’t talk to him about it. But anyway, I. I’m still crying because of his excitement.
00;05;14;05 – 00;05;32;18
Unknown
Only because he got a new robot to clean his books. So we had to bring it back up. Yeah, right. Do I want that robot when I first? Yeah, I get it first, but only because the only reason I got my pool. I mean, we’re making fun of Scott, right? The. I have the same pool on the box.
00;05;32;18 – 00;05;50;07
Unknown
Yeah, but the only reason I got it is because we signed an NDA. Then we would never discuss our our Mexico trip because they gave us 30. They gave us a refund. And I promptly spent it on a pool in the back. That’s right. Put on a box. That’s right dear. Yeah. We can’t talk about it. We are sworn to secrecy about it.
00;05;50;09 – 00;06;05;22
Unknown
We were 30 because we had decided NDA had so many things happen. Yeah, that we were like, this is not okay. And they were like, ooh, that’s kind of not okay. And we will give you a ridiculous amount of money back, but you have to sign this NDA. I’m pretty sure I talked about the other day because I say, yeah, good.
00;06;05;25 – 00;06;26;15
Unknown
Yeah. I think we should post that, you know. Yeah. There goes your hotels. Out of business. Oh, well, I’m not surprised. Wow. Yeah. She is so funny. Oh, great. Smell the cake. Karen. Cat. Oh! My cat! All right. Looks like you pulled the Wheel of Fortune there. We’ve never done this one. Yeah, well, Kelly up the street tells you this.
00;06;26;15 – 00;06;43;24
Unknown
This is your card. I think you did pull it. One other time, but I don’t know it. Yes, but as I’m reading it, I’m like. It doesn’t make sense in the way that she said. So this must mean this version’s wheeling footprint. So it’s a, Looks like a I have a hurricane. Okay. Yeah, maybe. Maybe the eyes, maybe the eye of the tire.
00;06;43;25 – 00;07;09;02
Unknown
Can you saying that? Yeah. Right now. Oh, eye of the tiger. It’s the claim my crop is rising up to. The challenge of our rivals. Didn’t last. Survivor. Wow, dude, who made up those who don’t even know that? Okay, anyway. Good job. Okay, so that’s this. And it’s got a bunch of fish eat, to be exact. Are they koi?
00;07;09;04 – 00;07;32;15
Unknown
I think so, if they are, they’re not good. Okay, okay. All right. Note to the are the illustrators of the card. Maybe this fish sucks. This thing go on the wall of the hotel? In New Orleans. No, let’s. Yeah. Wheel of fortune. The Wheel of Fortune shows a whirlpool of flowing energy. Eat. Fish are drawn towards its center.
00;07;32;16 – 00;07;54;09
Unknown
The number eight stands for change and renewal. The whirlpools clockwise motion represents a turn towards the future. As fate steps in. To put us on a new and perhaps unexpected path. So the meaning is destiny. So this is not how she described it to me. She described it more like you. In order for you to be fulfilled, you have to have multiple things going on at the same time.
00;07;54;11 – 00;08;12;11
Unknown
Yeah, right. And so I’m again, I’d like to go to our other deck and just see later on. But anyway, so this has all aspects of your life are boosted with the wheel as you move toward and allow fate to take you in your own heart rhythm. And you took our glasses out for this. I know, wow. And your destined life direction.
00;08;12;16 – 00;08;31;15
Unknown
The card also shows you will be feeling generally optimistic and able to make the most of your luck turning unexpected opportunities into great decisions that change everything for the better. An additional meaning of the card is clairvoyance. So your intuition is heightened, or the person you were reading this far is developing spiritually. You have been calling me on a daily.
00;08;31;17 – 00;08;50;14
Unknown
Oh, say my premonition. I have had a premonition today. Yeah. So the advice the wheel is not so much doing as a receiving card. So enjoy. And appreciate the growth and good fortune that comes to you. Now go with the flow. So basically it’s saying every time you call me, you just believe me. Yes. Okay. Well, you should have been doing that before you needed a card to confirm that.
00;08;50;16 – 00;09;09;09
Unknown
But I do have been confused with a lot of premonition, especially about your health, a lot of premonitions now. And have I decided that my cat has diabetes? Yeah, well, that’s 100% sure he has diabetes. Yeah. And here’s how I know he drinks a lot of water. He was drinking the dirty kitchen sink water. Okay. He is thirsty.
00;09;09;10 – 00;09;34;06
Unknown
He is now sleeping in the sink. Okay. And I have decided he has diabetes. He wants the. He wants to absorb all the water. Yes. And he takes man shits, okay. And pees a lot. Okay. Do you think you’re falling down sick? And Sawyer is beside herself. Oh, wait. The other day die of diabetes. Well, the other day, when you told me about your story about Carter and how he was, like, having all the feelings about that.
00;09;34;09 – 00;09;56;27
Unknown
Yeah. Here’s Sawyer. I’m sitting on the toilet. She comes in the cats next to me, laying on the tile floor because. Yeah. With diabetes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so she’s brushing your teeth. She is. She’s been. Her name is Wilford Brimley. Yeah. So? So she’s brushing your teeth and she’s like, mom, you better enjoy this twice now. I go, why?
00;09;56;28 – 00;10;15;14
Unknown
She goes, because he’d be dead soon. Oh. And I was like, excuse me? She goes, don’t you know cat’s lifespan is about eight years. I know, what the heck. Yeah. She’s young. I thought I said, I go now and she’s like, well, have you seen him? Yeah. Yeah, I’m a big boy. He’s a big boy. He can’t see very well now.
00;10;15;19 – 00;10;33;22
Unknown
But diabetic diabetes I think so. And I’m like, well don’t take him to that. It’s like, no. Oh my God. Yeah. Poor thing is the worst. It’s like they’re going to come back and be like, hey, are going to spend all this money or be this, is this what it is? No. Like, put him down or leave them as is and let him.
00;10;33;22 – 00;10;50;00
Unknown
What am I going to do? Put it, put it or put one of those little pieces around his neck. But yeah. Give some insulin. Yes. Yeah, that’s what it is. Yeah. It goes right on his little cat arm. Right. His little cat, our Texas blood sugar. And then you give him his insulin when he needs it. Yeah. Prick.
00;10;50;05 – 00;11;09;20
Unknown
Paul. Everyday. What are you. That’s how that works for cats, I don’t know. I really don’t know. I don’t know if. I don’t know if cats get diabetes. Well, yeah, well, you’ve determined, just like I’ve determined with all the premonitions I do for you, that I’m real clear what’s going on with all your health related issues and so much so, because I’m really tapping into my spiritual side.
00;11;09;23 – 00;11;32;24
Unknown
I, was on tiny Humans of Ron Chester exchange. Whatever. Something this mom had posted. I think it’s supposed to be like a spot where you are like, hey, do you have, pack and play? Because I need one, and I’ll trade for babies. Not for little people. Tiny humans. Oh, like like kids. Oh, yes. Why? Why are we not little people heads?
00;11;32;26 – 00;11;48;04
Unknown
I do have a lot of. It’s not. It’s not a cute name or whoever, I don’t know. That was. I don’t know if it was. Yeah, right. But let’s just say that the purpose of this group is not for moms to go out there and do what this mom did, which was she said, I’m really here just desperately asking for some help.
00;11;48;04 – 00;12;09;13
Unknown
And she put some pictures on there of her child’s ankle and foot, and there’s like six different pictures in there. This looks this poor child looks like he burn victim. This is really, really bad. And she keeps referring to it as eczema. And she keeps saying that she’s gone to all of these different dermatology. Yes. So I take it upon myself to be like I have I have to fix this.
00;12;09;13 – 00;12;30;16
Unknown
And the only thing that keeps coming up to me in a premonition spiritual realm is that there is something much more internal going on for this poor kiddo. It’s an autoimmune. It it has to be, it’s a reaction to an allergy. We have to clear this from the inside. This is not a topical thing. And why are we just going to these dermatologists?
00;12;30;16 – 00;12;49;22
Unknown
Right? I write a whole whole thing on it. And as I’m writing it, I’m like, who the hell do you think you are that I’m sorry I connected with spirit. And, I mean, it was very clear. And you asked the pendulum, I did it, I didn’t, but I was so clear, I was like, oh my gosh, this looks like it hurts so bad.
00;12;49;22 – 00;13;07;01
Unknown
I feel so badly for this kiddo. But but then I turned to Mark and I’m like, I’m telling you, if this was my child and that’s what his foot looked like, I would not be like, I mean, this poor mom has to be going to all these different people. This one of the dermatologist recommended he wear wet pajamas.
00;13;07;06 – 00;13;27;21
Unknown
What another dermatologist recommended a bleach bath. Like this. Like, this is the level for these kids. And when I’m thinking wet pajamas, I’m thinking into just that doesn’t feel like what would soothe this at all. Again, I’m not a dermatologist. I have no idea. But I’m like, this poor mom is just looking for an answer. And again. And then again, here I am and I cut my finger open.
00;13;27;21 – 00;13;44;18
Unknown
You said it needed to be moist. Yeah. And then the doctor said, do not do that. No you don’t. I said, you need to keep that moisture. Right. He said, no, you do not in there. I said, you need to keep it super moist. No, you do not. We get there. The woman’s like not picking up a dry right.
00;13;44;21 – 00;14;06;16
Unknown
Well, that was before I got in touch with my spiritual side. Right, right. Speaking of speaking of spiritual side speech that we do we do side interaction. Yes. And then the theme song. Yes. Okay. Yes. Why don’t you do a formal introduction now? You okay? So really try and try and let you go there. And I like, let the bird fly boom fall right on the ground.
00;14;06;17 – 00;14;31;21
Unknown
I don’t I don’t do introduction. Leah. Well board, we are really excited to have you on today’s show. And I can’t wait to one tell our listeners that we found you the absolute perfect guest. That is the mixture of Aaron and Rebecca together. It is. And we’re not. You know what Leah calls herself? And we’re going to tell you what she calls herself in a song that Rebecca and I made so happen.
00;14;31;23 – 00;14;48;13
Unknown
It just so happen to sing to each other when we called each other this morning. So, like, I don’t know her. Right. So let’s let’s start by. I call you and you were like, hey. And I said, we’re just going to reenact hey. Yeah. I said, oh, hey. And I said, we got a guest today. And I said, I know.
00;14;48;17 – 00;15;15;18
Unknown
And so excited. And that really, I know she’s the mystic autistic, mystic autistic, oh, mystic autistic mystic autistic who? Boop boop boop boop gunmetal. Oh oh. Oh. It’s clear that is now officially your theme song. Feel free to. You have all free copyrights. In fact, you can call it a later. We in the sound system with maybe some.
00;15;15;19 – 00;15;37;16
Unknown
Oh yeah, oh yeah. Wait, there’s some mistakes in the background. Yeah. So everybody heard this. This is my property now I mean y’all. Yeah. That’s how you do it in life with a beat behind it and all of that. So yes, come back to me and say, hey, I wrote that. I mean, I feel like when I took a Grammy for it, I’ll give you a shout.
00;15;37;18 – 00;16;01;08
Unknown
That’s I know the audience that’s going to be, you know, we’ll sing it for her. Yeah, yeah. And then they’re going to be like, baby, that sounds vaguely familiar to the original. I know it would be like smelly Cat. Remember Phoebe with smelly Cat and crazy? Yes yes yes yes yes. Yeah. So so yes. You’re so. I’m excited.
00;16;01;08 – 00;16;19;13
Unknown
I can’t wait to tell the guests about you. So, I’m going to just read a little bit from your bio here, because I think that this is so fascinating. Rebecca has already said that, we’re going to need ours in this hot seat because she thinks I’m going to have so many questions, and I know. So, from your bio, Leo.
00;16;19;13 – 00;16;45;25
Unknown
Well, born is a neurodivergent Reiki healer, writer, public speaker, and self-love sorceress. As the mystic autistic, she empowers people to rid themselves of energetic gunk so that they can get back to the source of all that’s good and true their true magical selves. A born cluster, Leah took the long route to joy, but often searching in a very wrong places along the way.
00;16;45;25 – 00;17;17;13
Unknown
She earned a BA in English Literature and a master’s degree in Creative Writing in Art history, and lived in Texas, California, and now lives in Colorado. After 40 years of struggling with anxiety and depression, in 2020, Leah’s life restarted with a jolt of grace, and she hasn’t looked back. When she was diagnosed with autism in 2021, her mission became clear she’s here to help people, especially the neurodiverse, get clarity and peace so that they can live the joyful lives they deserve.
00;17;17;15 – 00;17;41;06
Unknown
Leah is a trained Reiki healer, habit coach and yoga teacher. Her passion is getting closer to source, and her mission is to help you empower your magical self. When she has a podcast and a Reiki studio with the Empower Your Magical Self name. So without further ado, Leah, we cannot wait to hear from you. We want to hear your story, your journey.
00;17;41;06 – 00;18;00;15
Unknown
We want to hear how you got diagnosed so much later in life, like all of it. So jump right in and tell us a little bit about yourself. Okay, well I’m not going to go just monologue. I’ll give you some intro and then we’ll go back and forth. I’m sure that’s what you had planned anyway. So, I mean,
00;18;00;17 – 00;18;29;19
Unknown
Hello everybody. I learned from Lee genetics, born in 1972. What what? Sagittarius. Oh, yeah. We we may be millennials by, quote unquote definition. Well, I think I’m technically Gen X 8185 is the cutoff date for Gen X is what I understand. Then you’re Gen X, I know that was very disappointing because you want me in a different generation.
00;18;29;19 – 00;18;49;26
Unknown
Hoping 81 was the cut 82 was the cutoff. No I mean I, I would not be caught. You know it’s all very we were raised as well. I mean you and I have run different parents. I think our parents raised you and I as Gen X, but a lot of our friends were raised as millennials. Because we graduated in the year 2000.
00;18;49;28 – 00;19;18;18
Unknown
So okay. But you said 72 Leah. That is when she was, you were born in 72 and 51. Now did you say December 15th. Oh I’m December 27th. Are you a statue or are you Capricorn. You’re Capricorn. Well okay. Now technically I’m a Capricorn, but Aaron says I’m Sagittarius energy all day long. That’s interesting. See, I identify as an Aries.
00;19;18;21 – 00;19;37;22
Unknown
Oh. And I identify as a sign serious. Okay. All right. Here we go I love this I’m affirming. Capricorn. You are Capricorn always a Capricorn I am the poster child for Capricorn. And then I think I’m a part two. You’re like no I’m not. Actually, there’s no identity confusion here with my sign. This. Do you know I’ll know your moon, moon and rising signs.
00;19;37;22 – 00;20;01;19
Unknown
Because my morning rising or no, no, I’m not straight. Talks about that all the time that I have to do that and it’s free. Okay. In one of the sites. You. And so I’m a triple fire sign. Sagittarius and Harry’s are both fire signs. And I have Aries moon and Rising, so I am all fire. That probably explains a lot of my early issues, because I’m a very fiery person.
00;20;01;25 – 00;20;21;04
Unknown
I also have hyperhidrosis, which is a kind of an odd, nervous disorder, which means that my hands and feet and face sweat pretty much constantly. It’s a terrible, terrible affliction that most people haven’t heard of. But, you know, when you see somebody and they’re sweaty, you think, what the hell? Are they lying? Are they sick? What’s going on?
00;20;21;04 – 00;20;41;21
Unknown
It’s not like a welcoming thing, right? So you just tell them you’re a triple fire sign. That’s the reason you’re. You’re freaking triple fire. You’re trying to let off some of that damn heat. Yeah. The agreed. But when you’re eight years old, you don’t really have the words for. Yeah, I was bored. I’m sweating. No, this happened when you were a child, right?
00;20;41;24 – 00;21;01;20
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, I was born sweating. Yeah. Okay. So when I was in elementary school in Texas, where it’s like 102 degrees every freaking day, you know, I was the weirdo. All the little kids were like, oh, she’s handicapped. She’s well, she’s. You see? Oh, don’t touch her, you know. Oh, it was a very terrible. Yeah, yeah, it was really horrible.
00;21;01;20 – 00;21;22;08
Unknown
And it’s, there’s nothing that you can change about yourself. Right. Which is like a small aside, which I think is fascinating. One of the things I’m working on with my son Carter right now is, of something based on a video you sent. If you can’t change it within 30s, then we can’t discuss it with someone. So if it’s not something that they, you know, if they have something on their face, they can change that in 30s.
00;21;22;08 – 00;21;39;13
Unknown
So you can say to them things like, I think you have something right here, but if it’s something like you were talking about super sweaty hands, super sweaty, it’s not something they can change about themselves in 30s then that’s not something we talk about with that person. Yeah. So you know. Yeah, well, it makes me feel really good.
00;21;39;16 – 00;21;59;20
Unknown
That’s a good rule of thumb. I grew up in Texas, rural Texas, in the early 70s. So, I mean, it was like it was kind of like being a Spartan. It was like, you’re not happy working until you’re happy because of a thing. You know, it was just really. I mean, my parents didn’t beat me. My father was horrible, but, you know, but it was just a very oppressive childhood.
00;21;59;23 – 00;22;21;11
Unknown
And I didn’t fit in because my interest at eight years old was like the English royalty as it was when Princess Diana was getting married. So I always wanted to talk about, you know, what do you think about Princess Elizabeth’s, relationship with Princess Margaret? And, like, are you, you know. Oh, let me put in a mood clue.
00;22;21;14 – 00;22;44;18
Unknown
Now that there’s something wacky about this little girl, you know? But back then, it was only boys that were autistic and, you know, not true. But that’s pretty much what they thought. And also, if you’re autistic, if you’re going to be really good at math, which I’m not, you’re going to be sitting somewhere rocking in a corner, which I never have.
00;22;44;18 – 00;23;12;10
Unknown
You know, my stem is off twirling by myself, you know, which is a little thing to do. So there was never any point at which they were like, this child shows signs of autism. Instead, I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety because I was freaking picked on all the time and so unhappy at my life. So I just set off a whole trend of basically 40 years of being suicidal.
00;23;12;12 – 00;23;30;27
Unknown
Wow. It was really. I didn’t think that there would ever be a time in my life that I like to be really open about this, because I know that there are people out there who are in this situation. I know there are, because there are a lot more people in that situation than we think about, especially women.
00;23;31;00 – 00;23;53;11
Unknown
Yes, because it shows like we were talking about and even ADHD or in women shows up very differently. Yeah. And, you know, we’re just talking about that now. It’s crazy. Yeah. Is absolutely crazy. And it’s, you know, they didn’t even study ADHD in women until like, the late 90s. They were like, it’s that. Yeah, but yeah.
00;23;53;11 – 00;24;27;16
Unknown
And even then it’s. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Keep going. Yeah. So struggling with depression, anxiety, tons of medications are depressed and anxiety. Psychiatrist. Psychologist is everything. I was just convinced I’m not going to be a happy person. I kind of had thought to myself something in my past life must have been so terrible. I must have been like Hitler or something, to have been born in a situation where it seemed so absolutely impossible for me to have any shred of happiness.
00;24;27;18 – 00;24;57;01
Unknown
I look back, and I think I had distractions from my depression, from my unhappiness. But I did never have happiness until 2020, which was a really long friggin time to live without ever knowing. Happiness is really long time. I think the grace that exist that I was able to turn my life around at in my late 40s. So I’m telling people who are listening, it’s not to let anybody, always say, oh, wow, you.
00;24;57;08 – 00;25;31;16
Unknown
I picked up on was like, if I was, am I a mental health, provider? Yes. So what I really picked up on is the depth of the hatred that you had and the disgrace that you felt associated with your life. To have associated that with a past life regression of Hitler like that, to me, is such a zaps of darkness and sadness and depression that at that level, right, it wasn’t like, oh, I must have done something really bad in my my past life.
00;25;31;16 – 00;26;07;11
Unknown
You were like, I must have been one of the absolute worst villains in in the history of time, because that’s how much depth and and and harm you had felt. And that’s, that’s so sad that you had to experience that. Did you ever have any like, so you said distractions from that along the way, but there were never really any moments of hope or happiness or like, oh my gosh, maybe I’m finally turning this around during that time, did it always just feel like a distraction?
00;26;07;14 – 00;26;37;10
Unknown
I don’t know that I would have characterized it as a distraction at the time, because I didn’t know what real happiness felt like. So if I would get an exciting job or a new boyfriend. Sure. Yeah. Everything’s going to be great. I’m fixed. Yeah, yeah. And then, of course, that’s not truth. That’s not how reality works. So within a couple of weeks, maybe a month at the most, I was down lower than I had been before because, oh, I failed again.
00;26;37;12 – 00;26;56;11
Unknown
I had this great opportunity, and I screwed it up. What a screw up. Yeah, right. But it’s so easy. It’s so easy to get into that mindset. Oh, absolutely. If you’re a little child who has a father who’s telling you, why aren’t you like other kids? Why are you like this? What’s wrong with you? Oh, wow.
00;26;56;11 – 00;27;11;26
Unknown
Yeah, I hate that. You know what it. You know I do, and I don’t. I don’t want to say this all all too. So people can say, well, but it’s here. Oh, I’m so sorry for you, I pity you. I want people to know this is how bad it was. And now I’m, like, the happiest person I know.
00;27;11;26 – 00;27;33;29
Unknown
Seriously. So it were really, honestly, I swear to God can change. If I had heard me saying that ten years ago, I would have said that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. So I’m telling you, listen to me. I was where you are. I saw absolutely no hope for the future. None whatsoever I could not was the turning point.
00;27;34;01 – 00;27;59;27
Unknown
Yeah. And what happened that was like, Holy Covid and I don’t know how. Okay. All right. I think you’re the first person who was like, hey, COVID’s all right. Look, I’m the only person who looks like real happy for I love okay. Wow. Okay. Great talk. Mark. I have never been comfortable working in situations with other people.
00;27;59;29 – 00;28;23;07
Unknown
I’m so self-conscious. I’m so I’m. Now I know that I’m autistic. My mind works differently than other people. I need to be in a quiet place where people aren’t talking around me. I have very specific needs to produce high quality work, which I’m very capable of doing, and so I was never able to keep a job. This was seemed like the utter failure of my life.
00;28;23;10 – 00;28;47;29
Unknown
All of a sudden Covid happened. Everybody’s working at home, I’m kicking ass. Everybody wants to hire me because I’m like the best worker they can imagine. You know, all of a sudden I realize, okay, this is something’s weird. Something’s not lining up. I’m happy as a clam. It’s it’s Covid. Nobody’s going outside. That thrills me. I love being inside and maybe going out in my yard.
00;28;48;04 – 00;29;11;03
Unknown
That’s like the limit of my comfort. Maybe to the grocery store that I run back home. That’s cool. So it just all these pieces started to coming together. And also, I will say that in England there is a lot more knowledge and, talk about women being autistic and being diagnosed later in life. And because of social media.
00;29;11;03 – 00;29;30;20
Unknown
I know there are a lot of bads about it, but because of social media, I’ve connected with a lot of women in media and media in England who had had extremely similar circumstances to mine and were autistic, and it had been the furthest thing from my mind. I never, ever would have thought I’d have some, but I at first I started saying neurodivergent.
00;29;30;21 – 00;29;53;23
Unknown
I’m neurodivergent. Yeah, pretty sure about that. That’s the way I identify. I feel like I really am in a group with these women who are neurodivergent. And then I would think, but what’s the next? What’s the next? Because it’s been so intense my entire life. And when I talk to my beloved, primary care physician, my God, I’m one of the luckiest people in the world because I have this woman who just has my back.
00;29;53;25 – 00;30;13;29
Unknown
And I went to her and said, do you ever thought that I might be autistic? And she was like, you know what? I didn’t want to say? Like, oh, wow, that’s so she has my note. That’s my universe. Where’s my notepad? Listen, Leah, this is like, this is hilarious. So Rebecca has been telling me, I mean, would you say it’s been a year?
00;30;14;01 – 00;30;41;11
Unknown
Well, I’ve thought it for a long time. Oh my God. But coming right out and saying it to your face because of social media things, you’re going to cry about it now. Just things on social media would come out and I’d be like, Holy shit, that’s Erin all day. And then we would like, joke around. And when we started traveling almost every other week and like, we were basically living together, it was like even more, I’m like, okay, okay, but she’s keeping this all to herself.
00;30;41;11 – 00;31;04;22
Unknown
Leah, stop saying negative. It’s not I know, I know, it’s not like I know. But all of a sudden one day she sends me this social media, this woman, maybe she was from England, right. And basically this woman is like, so I never knew that I was neurodivergent. But here’s the things that I do that make me neurodiverse.
00;31;04;25 – 00;31;27;26
Unknown
I swear to God, Leah, it was me. It was on there. Every country and a person every single morning. Now I’m 42, okay? And never ever in my I have, I have often felt like I either understand things differently than people, or I jump to a conclusion quicker than other people do, or that people’s minds don’t work the way that mine do.
00;31;27;29 – 00;31;53;06
Unknown
And I’ve never really thought of that as a negative. I’ve just been really frustrated by it because my my sense of that is like, why can’t you get there? What is the problem with you? Like, this is not hard to understand. You say this, this is what happens and then this is where we go. Right. Yeah. And so then it was sort of turned to me as oh well this is, this is your superpower.
00;31;53;06 – 00;32;12;15
Unknown
And I’m like wow I really like that. That sounds great okay. So I’m just good at these things and other people just aren’t as good at these particular things. There’s tons of things I’m not great at that other people are so okay. We can embrace that. I also think your journey with your child has opened my eyes to seeing the parallels between you and him.
00;32;12;20 – 00;32;32;16
Unknown
Now he’s much more extreme, yeah, than you are. And I think you mask a lot. Yes. And I think you’re also a woman. Yeah. And as these things are, I’m playing. I’m like, oh my God, he’s the same. She only wear certain shirts. She has to wear certain shoes. She has to be. She only has certain things. You feel you eat the same.
00;32;32;16 – 00;32;48;29
Unknown
Yeah. Thing for lunch every single day. Like just weird ass shit that I’m like what and not. And I don’t think anything of that. And I’m so adaptable. I’m like, Aaron needs Chick-Fil-A. That’s fine. Right? But just do it. Same thing right here. This whole time you’ve been telling me how messed up I am. Oh, I gotta take it.
00;32;48;29 – 00;33;11;11
Unknown
Oh, I like you’re so late because I’m so confused why you’re so whimsical over there. Life is not that whimsy, right? Right. And so. So what? These moments keep coming up. Coming up. Which is why when we say mystic autistic. Oh, Rebecca’s the mystic, I’m the autistic. And this is all brand new to me, which is why she’s like, we kind of have these two hour long conversations because I’m going to have all the conversation, all the questions.
00;33;11;11 – 00;33;37;01
Unknown
But when we are able to identify and not label, I don’t like the word label, but we’re able to relate and validate. It’s like, that’s why she is. That’s why we have to do this. Okay, it’s fine with me. But the masking is really interesting. So Leah, it sounds like you either were not doing a lot of masking or that it was hard for you to mask, because when you say things like people were like, oh wow, you know, she’s doing this weird thing.
00;33;37;07 – 00;33;59;02
Unknown
Oh, wow. Right. I don’t I don’t remember a lot of times where that would happen to me when I was a young kid. I think I just wanted so desperately to make sure that I blended in again, or masked whatever was going on for me to fit in with kids. And I did that through a tremendous amount of empathy and care and compassion for other people.
00;33;59;04 – 00;34;21;18
Unknown
So can you speak about that? Were you masking when you were younger? Like, did what? What came about for you when you finally got this diagnosis? Okay. So that’s two different questions. And I do feel like I’m masked. However, I will say, for one thing, you can’t really masks dripping, sweaty hands. That’s not something you can mask.
00;34;21;18 – 00;34;46;18
Unknown
So that’s something people saw about me always. There were it was, you know, akin to having a different colored skin. It was like people saw you coming with the sweat. So there’s, there’s really no masking there. However I did go through the big oh God, I want to be a cheerleader so much, I think I’m going to die thing where I just, I was clumsy, I did not fit in.
00;34;46;18 – 00;35;10;29
Unknown
It broke my heart to a level that has hardly been touched since then. I think you understand, having both been pre-teen girls, how intense the time is, and I learned so much to be like other little girls. And I wanted to have a cute little boyfriend, and I just was weird. I had great big boobs when I was nine years old.
00;35;10;29 – 00;35;36;10
Unknown
I was just, maybe. But that checklist, big boobs, maybe that was a different little child. So I tried to mask. I don’t think it really took too well, because of the sweat and the boobs and everything. And, you know, I will say, from my mystical standpoint now, I believe you all ready for me to get weird on this.
00;35;36;10 – 00;35;55;20
Unknown
You ready? Oh, you need to get where? Okay, okay. Wow. This is a really good interview. I bet you wish you could see more. But you can’t unless they want to subscribe to be a part of our even more love service. Oh, we have that. We sure do have that. Oh, my gosh, that’s up and running. It’s up and running.
00;35;55;20 – 00;36;18;29
Unknown
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00;36;19;02 – 00;36;42;26
Unknown
Yeah. So it’s just it’s been really interesting to watch this unfold because again, nothing you do rubs me in the wrong way. It’s just who you are. I’ve always just accepted it. What we call in our relationship. Like I’m the grounded one, right? So she gets to be as flighty and fun and mythical and whatever that she wants to, because she always what we were talking about the other day in the shower on FaceTime, it’s fine.
00;36;42;26 – 00;37;07;05
Unknown
We just do it all the time. Is, that I’m home base? Yeah, right. She’s like, I just feel so good that you are this home base that I can keep coming back to because you’re steadfast in your committed and your judgment, you know, is just solidly in this place. So she can go off and be as whimsy and carefree as she wants to, but she always knows, boom!
00;37;07;05 – 00;37;25;07
Unknown
We can come back to basics. And I love the fact that I can be solid core, you know, practical. But then when we are out and she’s like, we’re going to this random thing, I’m like, oh my God, this is fun, right? Right. You’re all trolled. The fun, right? But then boom, went back to French fries and a Pepe.
00;37;25;07 – 00;37;45;05
Unknown
Right, right. No, no, I just, I just because I know you so well, you’ll make me think in it and I validate it for you. And you’re like, I feel so clean. And then we go do it. Yeah. And then we move on. But it allows me this freedom to do some things that are not things I ever, in a million years, would come up with myself or want to do myself or want to do with other people.
00;37;45;05 – 00;38;06;08
Unknown
Right. Because it wouldn’t feel safe right to me to do that. But you’re open minded and willing. Yeah. So I with you rate ratio. Right. Just with anyone know there are some times you put your foot down. Yes there are most times you don’t like for example, we would go to conferences and we was suggested to us to dress identical.
00;38;06;10 – 00;38;27;14
Unknown
So knowing she has sensory issues going right, look at Lee is knowing she has and I’m well, I mean, I’m basically wearing lingerie tonight. I’m a wild card, right? She she is same brand cross my heart bra to my guy has to wear underwear type of person, right? Yes. To wear underwear. I’m sorry I never wear this.
00;38;27;16 – 00;38;47;24
Unknown
Sorry. Layers on my socks. By the way, Lee, it’s like yeah, of course we’re wearing underwear, right, right. She. I say to her, I’m packing our outfits. I don’t check with her. Nothing does she put that shit on and and do what she needs to do 100%. Yes you will. I will pump the brakes if we’re. Really. However, did I have three backup outfits just in case?
00;38;47;24 – 00;39;05;11
Unknown
Whatever you picked, that’s what I like. What you’re wearing today. That’s what I did. But I take you into consideration, right? Correct? Yes. Right. Like you are willing. You’re not so rigid. Yes. And you’re not so rule bound. No, I mean, you are, but you’re not. Oh, right. But again, person specific I want to be very clear I agree.
00;39;05;11 – 00;39;20;24
Unknown
So even someone like my husband who’s like, we’re going to go do this, we’re going to go do that. If it doesn’t feel safe and secure and like he’s got this under wraps, that’s on me, I’m not doing it. That’s actually remember the boat? Well, he talks about the boat he’s driving the boat. The boat’s not okay. Someone needs to take control of this boat.
00;39;20;24 – 00;39;44;10
Unknown
That’s right, that’s right. Yeah. So it’s it’s I think that’s that probably why you didn’t notice these things until your son. That’s much more extreme. You started connecting and you’re like okay okay. Well whenever you see it in another person, don’t you feel this is Leah when you see it in someone else, it can be much more clear for me, I was, I just I walked through life just being so frustrated a lot of the time.
00;39;44;10 – 00;40;16;12
Unknown
I don’t understand why people are not like me and people like me, and people have a tendency to gravitate toward me, right? Which has been even more confusing because stereotypically we’ve been taught that neurodivergent people repel people because of their right personalities or things that they say or their harshness or whatever. Correct. Well, I have a tendency to draw people in writing equally as clear, rule bound, you know, but that tends to be something that people relate to.
00;40;16;12 – 00;40;48;04
Unknown
So I never associated that stereotypically with neurodivergent. Correct. But I think that’s where the confusion as your son’s growing up for people in the field have been like your what do they say about him? That’s a very complex, a very complex, very common. And so when Aaron and I dissect everything for 37 hours, you’re right. We’ve realized that it’s because she, as the human being that she is, has interjected early intervention from the moment he was born.
00;40;48;06 – 00;41;08;21
Unknown
And created his complexities. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because when that, when you said no mom I will never forget when you said that that was a gold star moment in my life when you were like this kids received early intervention services through you. Yes. Just being who you are as being his mom. And that’s why he’s complex. That’s right.
00;41;08;21 – 00;41;22;23
Unknown
Because he wouldn’t be presenting as someone who. No way. When I’m at the Fairport Canal days and he says, mom, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me here. I had a lot of fun, and I wouldn’t have known that. I would have enjoyed it had you not brought me here on the way out. Right? Right.
00;41;22;23 – 00;41;39;27
Unknown
He. That’s not something. Had he not been conditioned or early intervention that necessarily would have said, that’s right. So then he is he is complex and people get confused by him and that’s why they have him doing all these crazy ass assessments. That’s right. Because they’re like, well, he does do this, but he doesn’t do this. He doesn’t fit the profile that he does over here.
00;41;39;27 – 00;42;00;20
Unknown
But. Right, exactly. So I mean, it’s just proof that you’re the queen of all things and maybe you should take over. Let’s just switch everything. We should run everything, right? Yeah. I mean, we we I think we probably can. I don’t want to run anything, girl, but I’m. I’m glad to, be helpful. It. Oh, yeah. It’s weirdness.
00;42;00;22 – 00;42;22;26
Unknown
Hey, lovers. It’s Scott from inside the bubble, and, this one ran a little longer than I expected, so we’re breaking it up into two sessions next week, we’ll get part two of The Mystic Autistic with Leah Wellborn. Don’t forget to subscribe to even more Love Dot super cast.com and we’ll see you next week. I loved that. Me too.
00;42;22;28 – 00;42;56;18
Unknown
Isn’t empathy amazing? Well we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more love the Power of Empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
