00;00;00;00 – 00;00;22;18
Unknown
Last week, we ended with Rebecca asking Leah to validate more of Erin’s weirdness. So strap in for this week’s episode with the girls and Leah Wellborn, the Mystic Autistic, part two.
00;00;22;20 – 00;00;45;04
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. Want to eat, Ellen?
00;00;45;04 – 00;01;08;07
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Yay! I love this, and I can’t wait to share our stories of the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay. yeah.
00;01;08;08 – 00;01;30;25
Unknown
Some point, I thought I just one thing that I think, because you you you seem to see mysticism and autism as being diametrically opposed. And to me, I, I really don’t. and I need to know it is a matter of perspective to me. let me just say one of my big interest. I love history, I’m a history thing.
00;01;30;25 – 00;02;04;14
Unknown
But what I have found that I love even more than history is pre-history. for 99% of the time that humans have been human, we were hunter gatherer foraging. We only started doing this civilization thing about 1% of our human time span ago. Before that, we lived for about a million years, happily, as far as we can tell, foraging, living in bands of about 100, 150 people, moving around but living fairly happily.
00;02;04;17 – 00;02;29;27
Unknown
I see civilization as something ugly that got into the species. I think that before civilization, all animals, all humans, could relate to one another in a good way. We could know what each other were thinking. We had this wonderful, copacetic way of living. Something got into humans that made us think we’re the end all. Be all at separated ourselves out, away from nature.
00;02;29;29 – 00;02;53;03
Unknown
I, I believe that before that separation took place, when we were in the proverbial Garden of Eden, the people who were autistic were the natural shaman. We were the people who were the the spiritual leaders of the cosmic sense. There would be people. There were people who would be emerge, who would be the super hunter. That person would be that tribe super hunter.
00;02;53;10 – 00;03;19;15
Unknown
The autistic person would be the shaman. There would be someone who would be the great cook, the great raiser of children, whoever that is, to my deep belief. So we all through time have been recognized as this set apart, thinks a little bit different, has a connection to the other side that the rest of us don’t. but then when civilization started to take place, this was no longer something people thought they needed.
00;03;19;17 – 00;03;54;19
Unknown
Now we autistic people were off to the side in our own little weird world, and nobody knew what to do with us. That’s been a pretty recent, 10,000 years is not that long of a span in the span of human lifetime. So I believe that we are the spiritual, the natural spiritual leaders of the earth, but that we don’t understand that because as humanity, we have been so mixed up and so removed from our natural way of being, that this natural state of connection also left hand in my friend Aaron and Leah.
00;03;54;22 – 00;04;40;23
Unknown
Me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not. So, I, I feel like that is our role, and we have been dis left handed and big boobs. I mean, bank analyst put it on us, but we’re still sisters. So we are. That’s one reason that, you know, we as autistic people feel so lost and people don’t know what to do with us is because we have been yanked away from our natural world as spiritual leaders of helping people get in touch with their own spirituality, not something outside of themselves, but deep within ourselves that other people maybe just don’t have that quick access to that we do, and we’ve been taken away from our world.
00;04;40;24 – 00;05;07;09
Unknown
Looks like that is an animal you would have taken out of their natural world. Everything is all topsy turvy now because of civilization and patriarchy. And so we have been taken away from our roles. To my natural. I will hope. What have I been saying this whole time? I want to help people feel lost, like I did get back into seeing themselves as natural leaders of the spiritual realm here on.
00;05;07;09 – 00;05;36;18
Unknown
That’s what I kind of meant in our other podcast when we talked about roles. Right? I feel really great embodying certain roles. You feel really great embodying certain roles. I think that’s really important. You don’t need to be all things. You shouldn’t be all things. But when your role has been upturned and you’ve been told we no longer need you because we have this replacement for you that is better than you.
00;05;36;18 – 00;05;57;16
Unknown
And just so we’re clear, it’s not better than the fucking shaman. Okay. Because we, we we know. Okay. Yep. And so all these civilization comes in in this civilization is like oh I got this, I got this. And then the shaman are over here like oh my God, you’re so misguided, so wrong. I want to tell you, I know you are so misguided.
00;05;57;16 – 00;06;23;29
Unknown
You are so, leading people down the wrong path. We have the wrong leaders driving these trains. Right here we are is the shaman who have been outcast, who have basically been told we don’t need you. We got this right. And we’re like, you don’t you don’t. You know, you don’t. Oh, that’s actually really uncomfortable right now because you don’t got this and I, I can I feel that way often, Leah, that I’m like, I see this whole picture.
00;06;24;02 – 00;06;51;02
Unknown
Oh my God I have a company based in this. Leah. I run a company that basically tells people your resource directories suck what you are doing to try and get people connected to resources is incorrect. It’s not user focused. My whole company is based on. We have another way that we can help your people get connected to the support they need in a way that makes sense to them, because as a quote unquote shaman, right?
00;06;51;02 – 00;07;14;12
Unknown
As someone who understands the way so much of my experience has been about understanding the experience of others, ding ding ding ding, right? I I’ve been a teacher, I’ve been a professor. I have an all of these roles. You’re basically Jesus have. But we’ve already we’ve already discussed you are the Capricorn. You have a savior complex. You know all things, right.
00;07;14;19 – 00;07;40;27
Unknown
You do no wrong. Yeah. I’m very opinionated. Yeah, but yet open to hearing other points. What do you as a good shaman Weg be. What’s Shamima. What’s the way she sees the light? What’s the female versions? Name of Jesus. Jesse. Mary Magdalene. Yeah, yeah. I mean yes, right. I’m not quite. Am I one of your followers? I’m not kidding.
00;07;40;27 – 00;08;03;13
Unknown
I’m so. Yeah. You’re the first one up. You got this thing of Kool-Aid sitting right there next to me. You got serpent in? Yeah, the first half. So literally, you are the first one drinking the Kool-Aid. You’re like, come on, come on, come on. And she got something cool to say, right? And there’s me and Laura on the frickin stage, not Laura, Leah, Leah.
00;08;03;15 – 00;08;19;04
Unknown
I knew it was going to happen at least once a year because her auto correct for my auto. Correct. So when I was talking to Rebecca today, auto corrected your name to Laura, and then she’s like, why do you keep talking about Laura? And I’m like, what do you mean? She’s like, it’s a Leah. I knew it was going on here at least once today.
00;08;19;07 – 00;08;42;29
Unknown
Damn it. Oh my God, it’s amazing. So you were saying you don’t see the the mythical and, autism as separate, and now you’ve just bridged that for me in a really beautiful way. Oh, great. But can you talk more about this mythical side and what that has meant for you in this, like, second chapter of your life?
00;08;42;29 – 00;09;05;00
Unknown
What has it done? What has it opened up for you? Sure. I’ve always been a searcher. I’ve always been a spiritual person, and I didn’t know where to put my spirituality a lot of the time, because I was raised in rural Texas, my parents were not necessarily practicing Christians, but we were just Christian. Yeah, that’s what we were.
00;09;05;02 – 00;09;28;01
Unknown
I wanted to be a Republican. Yeah, my parents are Democrats, but. But I’m Christian. You all right? Yeah. Just. Yeah. So, I wanted to go to church with the other children. I would go to church. I would feel what I came to see. That Jesus feeling. That feeling where you get where you’re like, oh, Spirit’s here, Spirit’s here, Spirit’s here.
00;09;28;01 – 00;09;49;05
Unknown
And I didn’t know anything else but Christianity. There was no internet. I was nine, you know. That was what it was. You love God. You love Jesus. That was the way it was. Yeah. so I continued down that path. And then as I got older, I started reading a little bit, like, oh, Hinduism. Buddhism. That’s kind of interesting.
00;09;49;08 – 00;10;08;28
Unknown
but that was like library. That’s things you read about the library that was not, you know, my life. And then, when I was 15, a friend of mine died in the drunk driving accident, whose name was Paul. He was a wild child. But how wild a child can you be? At 16, in a rural Texas town in the 80s.
00;10;08;28 – 00;10;32;11
Unknown
Right. So, he was a drinker and, you know, a bad boy. And a lot of my Christian friends made a point of telling me, sorry, your friend’s in hell. Now, which to me was like, I don’t want any part of whatever that is. So I was like, yes, you’re cool, but your church can go jump off a cliff.
00;10;32;11 – 00;10;57;00
Unknown
Yes. So I never lost my love for Jesus, but it certainly not identified as a Christian since that point. When I was 15 years old, I, became a hard Krishna for a while, was very, very deep into my Krishna ism when I was in my late teens, which is basically Hinduism. but found then that that the men wanted to marry me because I was such a chaste young woman.
00;10;57;00 – 00;11;19;02
Unknown
And it’s like, no, I just want to be with God. Y’all just. No, I just let me be with God. So I came to find that there was no organized religion. That was a good container for me. And the older I get, the more I realize it’s because it is a thing that’s inside. It’s not an outside imposed thing that’s not real to me.
00;11;19;02 – 00;11;45;16
Unknown
That’s just like government. so I, I love God, I love spirit, I everything is energy. Everything is God. I’m God, your God. We’re God trying out different roles, playing different roles here on the planet. What would it be like to be an autistic woman? Well, let’s try it out. God. So, you know, here we all are playing this role, doing this thing.
00;11;45;18 – 00;12;09;05
Unknown
And to me, the energy of love and the energy of source is what the goal there is to get there and to live in that light, to get that Jesus feeling, whatever that is for you. I mean, I can get it here. Just having a deep, lovely talk here with you, but I’m not. I’m getting that feeling, you know, it doesn’t it’s not.
00;12;09;05 – 00;12;33;01
Unknown
Does it mean that you have to go and sit in church and obey these rules? And these people are bad and these people are good, and I can eat this, but I can’t eat that. And if they eat that, then they’re not good. No, that’s silly. That is silly. Listen to this. You know, old school shaman in me speaking to you and telling you what you need is inside you and you get really quiet.
00;12;33;01 – 00;12;59;18
Unknown
Yeah. I wear a key all the time. You’ll never see me without my skeleton key. And I have a skeleton key. I do, I have a skeleton key. I can’t, I swear to God, Leah. You don’t I gotta stop. I got a bow. I go for winter. Yeah, I wear every single day. Because this reminds me whenever I’m looking, whenever I’m trying to outsource my happiness to something else that is not within me, I think.
00;12;59;18 – 00;13;24;16
Unknown
No, it’s within me. When I get that feeling like, oh my God, I simply cannot live another day unless I have that pair of shoes. I think I’m going to die. I’m going to explode if I don’t have those Betsey Johnson shoes, I think, oh, really? Really. Because for so long in my life, I would go just chasing that next thing, chasing that next day chasing, and then, oh, the letdown, because I couldn’t find it.
00;13;24;16 – 00;13;46;23
Unknown
But when I finally figured out that it’s in me, it’s really, truly interested in me. And I can dwell in me with Jesus and with Buddha and with all of the ascended masters. And we’re groovin together and we’re having a wonderful time, and we can see what’s beautiful in the world, and we can give that out. I mean, that’s that’s it.
00;13;46;25 – 00;14;09;29
Unknown
That’s. Have I just internally cleared my entire calendar for the rest of the day? Because we are going to have to dissect this session for hours. Yeah, I know, what, what day and I can break it to you. So if you, anybody, you or any of your listeners want to book their distance Reiki session with me, it works.
00;14;09;29 – 00;14;27;11
Unknown
I do a lot. I got a calendar. I’m I’m booking her right now with you. School was hard. I love it right now. I’m. I’m telling you, this is all the very you. What is it? I didn’t know all this. To talk about this for a second. How many times have I said to you autistic, that she. You can.
00;14;27;14 – 00;14;47;20
Unknown
You can in my language that because she’s saying the things that you’ve said. But for years. But I’m hearing from. Yeah. Yeah. It’s that is because you have dubbed me as the crazy person and she does not know Roshi, you don’t know whoever you are, the crazy person. But I do have to give you some credit. You’re. You really have it together.
00;14;47;20 – 00;15;04;00
Unknown
I know why it often. I know you, you you aren’t who you play on television. I know, okay, I know, and that’s why I love you. Because you you come out with these things sometimes that I’m like, that was effing brilliant. I know, I know, no one would know that. No one would know. You don’t give me you don’t give me that.
00;15;04;01 – 00;15;28;19
Unknown
Because, yeah, they don’t see underneath my surface. Right. But you also don’t want to think that I know you and that I know I don’t want up. No. Yeah. Now I’m a shaman here. I know I’m a shaman here. You are the. You’re you. I’m the children. I’m the shaman. Okay, so how many times have I said to you in over the course of our relationship of 20 years, I’m like, we’re all done speaking to these ten people.
00;15;28;24 – 00;15;49;06
Unknown
You’re going national. I know you’re going national. I know you are the shaman. I’ve said that so many times, and I know deep down you believe it. But because there’s not a clear path to get there, you can’t check this damn box. I know if there’s no clear path. Leah and I need the path. I need the stones set out so I know what I’m supposed to do, right?
00;15;49;09 – 00;16;11;02
Unknown
Right. Mostly you need someone else to to do that path, and then you’re going to fix it as you’re going. Yes, I know, I know, I know. And here’s the problem is, here’s the why can’t you answer? The key is within you. So just as important to that you got. Yeah. But you you you you will you do you you do.
00;16;11;02 – 00;16;36;20
Unknown
It’s gonna be there about three years. Six years of this podcast. And you might get there. Leah, how do I how do I get there? Because I will tell you intellectually that I know that it’s there. I know that what I’m working with here is something unique. And, it’s me and it’s helpful and beneficial and all of those things.
00;16;36;22 – 00;16;55;22
Unknown
But I’m not clear that I believe that at my core. And you want to know when it comes up for me, when I have to go make an Instagram video, when I have to. So I’ve had two Instagram videos recently. I think I’ve made a total of ten videos. Two of them have gone viral. So, there’s something there, right?
00;16;55;22 – 00;17;11;22
Unknown
Something that I am saying is resonating with someone with the price, with the people, with the people who are willing to listen. Right, right. And then the, the idiots who give a shit about your nose or my nose or whatever. We have here. So that’s where I don’t have. You see, I got a little nut is going to.
00;17;11;22 – 00;17;28;18
Unknown
Oh, yeah. See. Yeah. So what happens for me when I get in front of this camera is my very first thought is, why do you think that you have anything of importance to say to to anyone who’s going to give a shit about what you have to say? And then this other part of me comes in that is like, nope.
00;17;28;18 – 00;17;52;21
Unknown
You have a proven history of individually being able to connect with people many, many, many, many people and to build this bond. And I’m like, well, okay. Then the other side comes in and I’m like, well, that’s because you’re a great individual connector. You’re not a great mass connector. So then I get in front of this stupid camera and I’ve been a lot better about just doing one take and putting it out there.
00;17;52;21 – 00;18;25;00
Unknown
Right. And not like eating or being a perfectionist or whatever. And I still struggle with this when you’re talking about the key that is that is inside me, I am still is trapped. For me, it is something I just feel like I don’t have the right to be communicating with people at that level. What? What is that? Did you experience that?
00;18;25;03 – 00;18;45;03
Unknown
I did, but it was before I had my renaissance, my rebirth. So let me ask you some questions while they’re on my mind about it. Okay. First of all, how are you physically in your body? I used to be physically so disconnected from my body, it was absurd. How are you in that regard? I think I’m pretty well connected.
00;18;45;05 – 00;19;12;07
Unknown
What do you say to tell me? Like, do you. What do you what? How how do you. What makes you say that? I can usually tell if I wake up in the morning and something feels off to me if, I can tell if, I am having a physical response to something, but it’s actually as a result of I have a big presentation that I have to give.
00;19;12;09 – 00;19;29;08
Unknown
So I’m now doing a better job of being like, okay, you’re oh, before I just went on this trip to Denver, I remember thinking, you’re being a little snippy to people. You’re being a little, like, nasty. Some of the stuff that you’re saying doesn’t really come out right? Right. So then my husband will say, is everything okay?
00;19;29;08 – 00;19;51;15
Unknown
You’re coming across like this, and I’ll say, give me a minute. Let me try and figure out what this is. And then I’ll say, we were just at a basketball tournament all weekend. It didn’t have any time. To myself, I now have to hurry up and transition to get ready. I think I’m just really over stimulated, so I have a really good way of being able to connect what is going on physically in my body with what may be going on emotionally.
00;19;51;15 – 00;20;11;13
Unknown
Now, I do believe that that’s because I have 11 years of training to be a mental health therapist, and that does not include the time that I was actually doing therapy with people. Right? So I have been trained in that way for mind physical connection. It’s really interesting because I had a reaction when she asked that question. It’s only because of you and I comparing ourselves right?
00;20;11;16 – 00;20;38;11
Unknown
So Aaron’s energy, like if you were just to be around her, it’s very calm, it’s very grounded, it’s very in her feet. I my energy is all outside of my head and chaotic and very moving. So you’re a gas? I’m a solid. She’s like, she’s always sitting still and very proper where I’m like constantly, you’re going to see and I’m all the way I have to move.
00;20;38;13 – 00;20;41;04
Unknown
So.
00;20;41;07 – 00;21;11;22
Unknown
I don’t know if that also helps with her interpretation, but I’m constantly having to fidget. I’m a fidget or too. I’m definitely a fidget there. I’m not a still person. I usually try to be connected from my body. a morning routine was pivotal for me. I mean, a very strict morning routine, I, I get up, do you have a I way you shower order of operations.
00;21;11;25 – 00;21;39;10
Unknown
Yeah. She does well, I do, I do a guided meditation. Are you tapping your tap like I have? Yeah, I do not. But I do a guided meditation and I do a tap. I do a prayer to the directions for protection. And then I shake, shake, shake shake, shake, shake to get everything physically into my body. All just oriented, grounded.
00;21;39;12 – 00;22;03;21
Unknown
and I also don’t drink coffee. I stopped drinking coffee, and it has been so incredibly helpful for me. My nervous system never going to happen. My nervous system was shot. It is naturally not. I don’t think it’s in the best shape. And then I just drove it like I stole it until I was like 40, 40. That’s my motto.
00;22;03;23 – 00;22;27;21
Unknown
Just drive it. Drive it like I drove it. Like I stole it. Like I stole 100%. My problem. Okay. Keep going. Okay, so I quit coffee. I quit drinking alcohol. yeah, I had to. It was just too screwy with my nervous system. I was just making, you know, just be aware. She doesn’t have to speak to me because I’m already grounded in my body.
00;22;27;21 – 00;22;47;25
Unknown
I know, speaking to you. I know how you need to do it in the morning. Okay? So want to make sure we’re aware you’re currently talking to Rebecca, which is really beautiful. And I really love this part. So yes, for me to follow a routine never going to happen. I have an I mean, a 15 minute to the first of my day started my day.
00;22;47;25 – 00;23;08;06
Unknown
Every single day I sit there, I get myself grounded. I never ever anymore start a day thinking, oh God damn, it’s to another day. Whereas that was every day. Every day I got, I got to get up and do this shit again. But now it’s every day. What do I get to do today? This is so exciting. This is shit.
00;23;08;13 – 00;23;26;08
Unknown
That’s how I am. This I know, trying to do as much as I can. And then they have to do more and do more, you know, and it’s just made such a difference in my life. And another thing that I will tell you, that is a very concrete thing that I’ve done that has made so much difference in my life, is dancing every day not a choreographed dance.
00;23;26;08 – 00;23;55;08
Unknown
I just turn on music that I love and just dance for even five minutes can completely change and everything in your body. And if you think about it, that’s how we, we shaman. Especially back in the day, dancing was such a part of life, and it was such a part of expressing ourselves. And it wasn’t ever about getting good enough to do a show or, you know, wow, look at me, don’t I?
00;23;55;08 – 00;24;32;14
Unknown
Looks fabulous and sexy. No, it was just about just flailing yourself around and being natural and being letting yourself, your body expressed, get that energy out. It is the most freeing, most wonderful practice that I’ve added. And it’s something I encourage everybody to do because it can just absolute kind of like, you know, the flowing energy out. Say my same concept, my while yoga change area, change every thing around it because you’re and if you’re just dancing or not, you just can’t be thinking about I gotta go get my oil changed.
00;24;32;14 – 00;24;50;21
Unknown
I gotta do that. So I gotta do that. That is going to be on hold until you’re finished dancing. So it’s another form of meditation. A lot of us have a lot of a really hard time. I meditate every day, but I never just sit in silence. That’s not for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not meditating. It’s just not for me to do that.
00;24;50;23 – 00;25;10;04
Unknown
Some people walk meditating, some people dance. Meditating, whatever it is that’s a somatic practice is much easier for me to get into a meditative flow than what I’m just sitting. So that’s another tip I give to people who say, oh, I can’t meditate. I can’t just sit still, then don’t just forget it. That’s for some people. It’s not for everybody.
00;25;10;04 – 00;25;35;22
Unknown
Don’t worry about it. That’s one size. Football is the biggest lie you’re ever going to hear. Oh, there was nothing in the entire world. Can you speak that louder to the school systems? know. No kidding. I get that part. Okay, I get that part. I feel like I feel like, if one of the keys to knowing yourself is to be grounded in the physical sense of your body, I think I could cross that check.
00;25;35;22 – 00;26;01;28
Unknown
Mark. You cannot know, but I can cross that check. Mark, did you have you said you had a couple questions related to that? Or were there other things related to how do you find that key shadow? she don’t like that. She don’t like that she ain’t got no shadows. You, Yeah, I guess I guess she has no shadow side be all the time.
00;26;02;00 – 00;26;21;01
Unknown
What I give you my back to work was so helpful for me. And I’ll tell you one thing that I struggled with so very much. And I think you can begin to understand why I would, after hearing about my childhood, was resentment. I was the biggest little resentment bitch you would ever meet. I resented everyone, I resented being born.
00;26;21;01 – 00;26;45;06
Unknown
I resented being born in Texas. I resented being born with hyperhidrosis. I resented my dad for being mean. I resented my mom for not being attentive to the fact that I had, autism. I mean, you may deem it. I resented it. maybe I had a reason to, but, who cares what the fuck it was holding me back.
00;26;45;08 – 00;27;06;09
Unknown
I had to hope that was coming. And that was my biggest shadow. That was my biggest shadow. And I don’t look back and say, well, look at you, you horrible person. You were so resentful. What a horrible thing. No, I say, you know what? I see you, a lot of things happened that shouldn’t have happened. a lot of people didn’t do the things they should have done.
00;27;06;09 – 00;27;27;10
Unknown
A lot of times the ball was dropped. But here we are. And look at what we’ve got now. We’ve got all this experience that I can go forward and give people and try to make damn sure that nobody else goes through the things that I went through. And that’s what’s going to make all of that worth it. And I don’t have to have resentment because now I have this gift.
00;27;27;13 – 00;27;51;27
Unknown
I had to give up my resentment to have my gift. And that was a fair trade. I keep having this fascinating like picture that comes up in my mind. And it’s the, the early version of you who is depressed and anxious and suicidal and hates the thought of life in the you we see now in there so drastically different, right?
00;27;51;27 – 00;28;20;18
Unknown
I really feel like Leah could just be a third person on this show. Like she’s like the perfect middle ground of of how we engage with, with one another. But I’m having a hard time bridging those two people together. You can, you can you say, Leah, if there was just one thing, if you had to pick one really huge thing that got you from where you were to where you are now, what what’s what is it?
00;28;20;21 – 00;28;51;06
Unknown
Grace. Grace. just, you know, the talk about that Jesus feeling. I feel it right now. Because Grace, you know, it’s not a Christian thing. It’s not a muslim thing. It’s not a Hindu thing. It’s it’s it’s just it’s grace. It’s beauty and it’s love. And it’s something that you can spend your entire life close to and not even believing it.
00;28;51;09 – 00;29;11;16
Unknown
But if you just take one session and open yourself to it, it can flood you to life and change everything. And I know that that sounds like a cliche, and I know that people that oh, gee, look, you’re right, lady, but I’m telling you, I was as low as you can possibly be, and I just let. What if.
00;29;11;18 – 00;29;37;08
Unknown
What if I was wrong? What if there is hope. Can I just open just enough just to let that possibility in. And is you can really, truly open yourself without even holding that little, you know, escape clause in your mind. Just let it go. Be a little child. You should be a little child to enter heaven and just think, maybe I was wrong.
00;29;37;11 – 00;30;03;26
Unknown
Maybe I was wrong about all of this. About all the bad things about me, about all those things, bad things, about life. Maybe I’m exactly where I need to be. Maybe Grace has arranged all of this. Just let that possibility exist in your heart and in your mind. Just just let it wedge that little door open, and you might be shocked to find what will just come pushing that door wide open.
00;30;03;26 – 00;30;29;06
Unknown
And you think on, how could I have been close to this for so long? Because that’s how I am now. I just look back and I just want to hug myself and. And say it’s okay if you can just open just a little bit. Yeah. And I know it’s hard to open because there’s so much hurt that would just come in that door when you open it just a little bit, but you just distill it.
00;30;29;08 – 00;30;56;16
Unknown
Just trust enough. Just trust yourself enough to open up just a little bit. I love that. That’s my daughter’s middle name Grace. And it can change I mean grace can change everything. But you have to be willing to trust it and you have to not hold back a part of yourself like well if this grace thing doesn’t work now you gotta jump in.
00;30;56;18 – 00;31;30;23
Unknown
Grace is synonymous for me with vulnerability. Yeah. Grace is my vulnerability right. It’s the being authentically and unabashedly yourself and allowing yourself the opportunity to know I’m not going to reserve this. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And that’s and I it’s so hard. And what I think is beautiful about your story Leah is sometimes we have to get to the absolute bottom.
00;31;30;26 – 00;31;58;24
Unknown
To when all of your faculties are gone. Right. You are just you, you can’t even hold on to the thought that maybe there’ll be a backup plan. because. Right. You’re at the bottom, you know, this and that. Yeah. From that it allows you the strength to open to the possibility that I have nothing left to hold on to.
00;31;58;28 – 00;32;32;01
Unknown
I might as well grasp on to Grace. And see where it takes me in. In your case, Leah, it seems like it has taken you to this absolutely beautiful accepting you really like, authentic place of who you are is good enough is okay. is is our freakin card amidst. Right. Who you are is.
00;32;32;01 – 00;33;00;19
Unknown
Okay. And then through the process of being okay you realize better than okay. And I just think that’s so beautiful. You now share your gift with other people. It sounds like from your bio that you specialize in helping neurodivergent people understand themselves and sort of come into this grace. Is that correct. I certainly my, my hope and I do hope maybe I’ve been able to do that a little bit for you today.
00;33;00;26 – 00;33;24;03
Unknown
My dear new 400%, 100%, I have to tell you, we’ll end today’s show with an affirmation card and with you telling people how to get Ahold of you. But I just want to say, personally, it’s such a beautiful reminder to me that when someone sees you specifically, someone who doesn’t have any other reason to see you, right?
00;33;24;03 – 00;33;45;22
Unknown
We’ve had no no reason to be in contact with each other. There’s never been a time we’ve met before this show. And when someone can come in and mirror back to you who you are, it’s the most beautiful gift I think you can give to another human being. And it’s a reminder to me. I try and do that with all of the people that I engage with every single day.
00;33;45;24 – 00;34;23;01
Unknown
What a beautiful gift that is to give to someone. Because I know we joke, right? Rebecca’s over there. She’s got her notepad with all the checkmarks, right? But I’m not kidding. When when you would say, oh, yeah, well, we like judgment. Oh, well, we are justice, right? We’d also like judgment, but I try not to judge. But, you know, we know we need, when you would say things like that or would like to speak into existence, this thing that was so true for me for so long, I cannot tell you what that does to my inner soul.
00;34;23;01 – 00;34;51;00
Unknown
It’s a home. It’s a home base. It’s a home keeping. It’s like, oh my gosh, there’s someone else in this world who has been through our understands what some of this experience is like. And it’s not just me. Right. And if and if you can do that for any of these people that you are working with, I just believe it is the most beautiful gift you could possibly give to another person.
00;34;51;00 – 00;35;07;29
Unknown
And I feel like it’s a gift that you’ve given me. And I’m very, very thankful that we had you on today’s show. I went into this honestly believing this was going to be a a session for Rebecca in that room. I knew I was going to get all her mythical stuff, but, this hit me right in the heart.
00;35;07;29 – 00;35;32;21
Unknown
And I cannot thank you enough for the ways in which you have really helped me understand myself a little bit more. Why I am the way that I am and just feel just validated. And in in this world, it’s really beautiful. I cannot thank you enough for that. Well then, I have completed my mission in part this morning because that is really, truly what I live for and what I am here alive for.
00;35;32;21 – 00;35;52;12
Unknown
It’s why I lived past 50 to be able to do this. And so I’m very grateful that you have given me the opportunity to share, my gift, because it is a gift and I’m like, my ears are two, my glasses are crooked. I’m like, is it used like me that you with your crooked glasses, you consider a miracle every day?
00;35;52;12 – 00;36;14;20
Unknown
It’s totally fine. So before we go to the affirmation card to close us out, if people would like to get in contact with you, tell us how they can do that. And also tell us about the podcast that you have. Sure. my website is Leo Wellborn Dot net. That’s where you can find pretty much everything. I have an extremely active TikTok.
00;36;14;22 – 00;36;42;13
Unknown
I usually do 4 or 5 videos a day. Most of them are absurd, so I think you might find that fun. and also on YouTube, a lot. I post a lot on YouTube. I make I’ve probably made 10,000 goofy videos. I make videos content late. Yeah. so that’s really fun. I love to do that, but I also have I, I’m a meditation teacher or insight app.
00;36;42;13 – 00;37;05;21
Unknown
If anybody uses the app insight timer, it’s a free app. It’s my favorite meditation app. And I used it for years before I became a teacher there. So I do have many, many guided meditations there on the inside at timer, they’re completely free. I am a writer on Medium.com. I have two 278 stories. They are mostly about self-improvement and self enhancement and well-being.
00;37;05;24 – 00;37;33;05
Unknown
On Medium.com that is a $5 a month subscription, but I try to post those on my website as they come out free so you can read the story for free there. but not the back story. But anyway, and let’s see, I’m also I’m recently I’m an ordained minister now, so I’m very excited about how about expanding my services into house blessings, marriage blessings, baby blessings.
00;37;33;05 – 00;37;54;17
Unknown
I can officiate marriages, anything like that. I would love to be part of your spiritual journey in any way that I can do that. And of course, Reiki. I love doing distance Reiki. I have a lot of good reviews for Distance Reiki. It’s fascinating how it works. I have absolutely no understanding of it, but I also have no understanding of how the internet works and it works.
00;37;54;19 – 00;38;13;20
Unknown
I know I push a button and I see you and you see me. Same thing when I do distant Reiki, I say the prayers the person lays down in their own home, and we get to work and we’re communicating and feeling it back and forth. It’s pretty wild, but it works. I’m telling you to do it. Oh yeah, that’s an out and about around town for sure.
00;38;13;20 – 00;38;41;02
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. My podcast is called Empower Your Magical Self and I have one season out, 13 episodes. I’m I’m setting up my second season now. Kind of come out in September. I interview people who have made a profound difference in my life. They’re mostly women healers, teachers, writers, musicians, people who help me live by a soul lift, which is what I live.
00;38;41;02 – 00;39;04;26
Unknown
I do not do diets, I do not believe in them. And I don’t want to die right now. So I live a so lit. I don’t do anything that does not light my soul on fire. I don’t eat things that I know don’t agree with my body and my soul. I don’t talk with people, you know, obviously beyond interactions at stores and whatnot, but I don’t include people in my life that do not light my soul on fire.
00;39;05;02 – 00;39;28;09
Unknown
I just do not do things that do not like my soul on fire. So that is my soul lit that I live by. So that’s another thing that I like to help people get themselves on a soul lit. There will be no one size fits all for a soul that my soul. It will not be yours. But I do believe that we will all be better off if we all develop our own soul and and adhere to it as much as possible.
00;39;28;11 – 00;39;50;29
Unknown
Today. I think that I love everything. I love that it will also be in the description of this video. So what I like to do is make sure that there’s links and, you know, information in there how to get in contact with you. so we will push our audience to you as much as we possibly can. Again, the five star rating for me, you come and share and and I’m.
00;39;50;29 – 00;40;11;23
Unknown
Yeah, I have a keynote speech I’m ready to give. So. Yeah, I’m. Oh, I love it, I love it. Well, use your energy to let me know when I should stop. these cards so I can pick our final affirmation card. Okay? Okay. Stop.
00;40;11;26 – 00;40;39;06
Unknown
I know that for every door that life closes, a new one opens around the corner. I am optimistic stopping the answer key. Use your key to open that door. Right. That’s right, that’s right. This is your your new life. And we’re happy that you have lived past 50. Yeah. yeah. And you have a lot to offer and a lot of people’s lives to to rock in really awesome ways.
00;40;39;06 – 00;40;58;20
Unknown
So thank you, Leo Wellborn, for being with us today. Let’s close it out with her theme song. You’re mystic autistic. The mystic artistic. Yeah. The mystic I do that. Oh, whoa, whoa. Okay. All right. That was really fun, I do that.
00;40;58;23 – 00;41;34;22
Unknown
I loved that. Me too. It is an empathy. Amazing. Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the power of empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
Unknown
Last week, we ended with Rebecca asking Leah to validate more of Erin’s weirdness. So strap in for this week’s episode with the girls and Leah Wellborn, the Mystic Autistic, part two.
00;00;22;20 – 00;00;45;04
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. Want to eat, Ellen?
00;00;45;04 – 00;01;08;07
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Yay! I love this, and I can’t wait to share our stories of the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay. yeah.
00;01;08;08 – 00;01;30;25
Unknown
Some point, I thought I just one thing that I think, because you you you seem to see mysticism and autism as being diametrically opposed. And to me, I, I really don’t. and I need to know it is a matter of perspective to me. let me just say one of my big interest. I love history, I’m a history thing.
00;01;30;25 – 00;02;04;14
Unknown
But what I have found that I love even more than history is pre-history. for 99% of the time that humans have been human, we were hunter gatherer foraging. We only started doing this civilization thing about 1% of our human time span ago. Before that, we lived for about a million years, happily, as far as we can tell, foraging, living in bands of about 100, 150 people, moving around but living fairly happily.
00;02;04;17 – 00;02;29;27
Unknown
I see civilization as something ugly that got into the species. I think that before civilization, all animals, all humans, could relate to one another in a good way. We could know what each other were thinking. We had this wonderful, copacetic way of living. Something got into humans that made us think we’re the end all. Be all at separated ourselves out, away from nature.
00;02;29;29 – 00;02;53;03
Unknown
I, I believe that before that separation took place, when we were in the proverbial Garden of Eden, the people who were autistic were the natural shaman. We were the people who were the the spiritual leaders of the cosmic sense. There would be people. There were people who would be emerge, who would be the super hunter. That person would be that tribe super hunter.
00;02;53;10 – 00;03;19;15
Unknown
The autistic person would be the shaman. There would be someone who would be the great cook, the great raiser of children, whoever that is, to my deep belief. So we all through time have been recognized as this set apart, thinks a little bit different, has a connection to the other side that the rest of us don’t. but then when civilization started to take place, this was no longer something people thought they needed.
00;03;19;17 – 00;03;54;19
Unknown
Now we autistic people were off to the side in our own little weird world, and nobody knew what to do with us. That’s been a pretty recent, 10,000 years is not that long of a span in the span of human lifetime. So I believe that we are the spiritual, the natural spiritual leaders of the earth, but that we don’t understand that because as humanity, we have been so mixed up and so removed from our natural way of being, that this natural state of connection also left hand in my friend Aaron and Leah.
00;03;54;22 – 00;04;40;23
Unknown
Me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not. So, I, I feel like that is our role, and we have been dis left handed and big boobs. I mean, bank analyst put it on us, but we’re still sisters. So we are. That’s one reason that, you know, we as autistic people feel so lost and people don’t know what to do with us is because we have been yanked away from our natural world as spiritual leaders of helping people get in touch with their own spirituality, not something outside of themselves, but deep within ourselves that other people maybe just don’t have that quick access to that we do, and we’ve been taken away from our world.
00;04;40;24 – 00;05;07;09
Unknown
Looks like that is an animal you would have taken out of their natural world. Everything is all topsy turvy now because of civilization and patriarchy. And so we have been taken away from our roles. To my natural. I will hope. What have I been saying this whole time? I want to help people feel lost, like I did get back into seeing themselves as natural leaders of the spiritual realm here on.
00;05;07;09 – 00;05;36;18
Unknown
That’s what I kind of meant in our other podcast when we talked about roles. Right? I feel really great embodying certain roles. You feel really great embodying certain roles. I think that’s really important. You don’t need to be all things. You shouldn’t be all things. But when your role has been upturned and you’ve been told we no longer need you because we have this replacement for you that is better than you.
00;05;36;18 – 00;05;57;16
Unknown
And just so we’re clear, it’s not better than the fucking shaman. Okay. Because we, we we know. Okay. Yep. And so all these civilization comes in in this civilization is like oh I got this, I got this. And then the shaman are over here like oh my God, you’re so misguided, so wrong. I want to tell you, I know you are so misguided.
00;05;57;16 – 00;06;23;29
Unknown
You are so, leading people down the wrong path. We have the wrong leaders driving these trains. Right here we are is the shaman who have been outcast, who have basically been told we don’t need you. We got this right. And we’re like, you don’t you don’t. You know, you don’t. Oh, that’s actually really uncomfortable right now because you don’t got this and I, I can I feel that way often, Leah, that I’m like, I see this whole picture.
00;06;24;02 – 00;06;51;02
Unknown
Oh my God I have a company based in this. Leah. I run a company that basically tells people your resource directories suck what you are doing to try and get people connected to resources is incorrect. It’s not user focused. My whole company is based on. We have another way that we can help your people get connected to the support they need in a way that makes sense to them, because as a quote unquote shaman, right?
00;06;51;02 – 00;07;14;12
Unknown
As someone who understands the way so much of my experience has been about understanding the experience of others, ding ding ding ding, right? I I’ve been a teacher, I’ve been a professor. I have an all of these roles. You’re basically Jesus have. But we’ve already we’ve already discussed you are the Capricorn. You have a savior complex. You know all things, right.
00;07;14;19 – 00;07;40;27
Unknown
You do no wrong. Yeah. I’m very opinionated. Yeah, but yet open to hearing other points. What do you as a good shaman Weg be. What’s Shamima. What’s the way she sees the light? What’s the female versions? Name of Jesus. Jesse. Mary Magdalene. Yeah, yeah. I mean yes, right. I’m not quite. Am I one of your followers? I’m not kidding.
00;07;40;27 – 00;08;03;13
Unknown
I’m so. Yeah. You’re the first one up. You got this thing of Kool-Aid sitting right there next to me. You got serpent in? Yeah, the first half. So literally, you are the first one drinking the Kool-Aid. You’re like, come on, come on, come on. And she got something cool to say, right? And there’s me and Laura on the frickin stage, not Laura, Leah, Leah.
00;08;03;15 – 00;08;19;04
Unknown
I knew it was going to happen at least once a year because her auto correct for my auto. Correct. So when I was talking to Rebecca today, auto corrected your name to Laura, and then she’s like, why do you keep talking about Laura? And I’m like, what do you mean? She’s like, it’s a Leah. I knew it was going on here at least once today.
00;08;19;07 – 00;08;42;29
Unknown
Damn it. Oh my God, it’s amazing. So you were saying you don’t see the the mythical and, autism as separate, and now you’ve just bridged that for me in a really beautiful way. Oh, great. But can you talk more about this mythical side and what that has meant for you in this, like, second chapter of your life?
00;08;42;29 – 00;09;05;00
Unknown
What has it done? What has it opened up for you? Sure. I’ve always been a searcher. I’ve always been a spiritual person, and I didn’t know where to put my spirituality a lot of the time, because I was raised in rural Texas, my parents were not necessarily practicing Christians, but we were just Christian. Yeah, that’s what we were.
00;09;05;02 – 00;09;28;01
Unknown
I wanted to be a Republican. Yeah, my parents are Democrats, but. But I’m Christian. You all right? Yeah. Just. Yeah. So, I wanted to go to church with the other children. I would go to church. I would feel what I came to see. That Jesus feeling. That feeling where you get where you’re like, oh, Spirit’s here, Spirit’s here, Spirit’s here.
00;09;28;01 – 00;09;49;05
Unknown
And I didn’t know anything else but Christianity. There was no internet. I was nine, you know. That was what it was. You love God. You love Jesus. That was the way it was. Yeah. so I continued down that path. And then as I got older, I started reading a little bit, like, oh, Hinduism. Buddhism. That’s kind of interesting.
00;09;49;08 – 00;10;08;28
Unknown
but that was like library. That’s things you read about the library that was not, you know, my life. And then, when I was 15, a friend of mine died in the drunk driving accident, whose name was Paul. He was a wild child. But how wild a child can you be? At 16, in a rural Texas town in the 80s.
00;10;08;28 – 00;10;32;11
Unknown
Right. So, he was a drinker and, you know, a bad boy. And a lot of my Christian friends made a point of telling me, sorry, your friend’s in hell. Now, which to me was like, I don’t want any part of whatever that is. So I was like, yes, you’re cool, but your church can go jump off a cliff.
00;10;32;11 – 00;10;57;00
Unknown
Yes. So I never lost my love for Jesus, but it certainly not identified as a Christian since that point. When I was 15 years old, I, became a hard Krishna for a while, was very, very deep into my Krishna ism when I was in my late teens, which is basically Hinduism. but found then that that the men wanted to marry me because I was such a chaste young woman.
00;10;57;00 – 00;11;19;02
Unknown
And it’s like, no, I just want to be with God. Y’all just. No, I just let me be with God. So I came to find that there was no organized religion. That was a good container for me. And the older I get, the more I realize it’s because it is a thing that’s inside. It’s not an outside imposed thing that’s not real to me.
00;11;19;02 – 00;11;45;16
Unknown
That’s just like government. so I, I love God, I love spirit, I everything is energy. Everything is God. I’m God, your God. We’re God trying out different roles, playing different roles here on the planet. What would it be like to be an autistic woman? Well, let’s try it out. God. So, you know, here we all are playing this role, doing this thing.
00;11;45;18 – 00;12;09;05
Unknown
And to me, the energy of love and the energy of source is what the goal there is to get there and to live in that light, to get that Jesus feeling, whatever that is for you. I mean, I can get it here. Just having a deep, lovely talk here with you, but I’m not. I’m getting that feeling, you know, it doesn’t it’s not.
00;12;09;05 – 00;12;33;01
Unknown
Does it mean that you have to go and sit in church and obey these rules? And these people are bad and these people are good, and I can eat this, but I can’t eat that. And if they eat that, then they’re not good. No, that’s silly. That is silly. Listen to this. You know, old school shaman in me speaking to you and telling you what you need is inside you and you get really quiet.
00;12;33;01 – 00;12;59;18
Unknown
Yeah. I wear a key all the time. You’ll never see me without my skeleton key. And I have a skeleton key. I do, I have a skeleton key. I can’t, I swear to God, Leah. You don’t I gotta stop. I got a bow. I go for winter. Yeah, I wear every single day. Because this reminds me whenever I’m looking, whenever I’m trying to outsource my happiness to something else that is not within me, I think.
00;12;59;18 – 00;13;24;16
Unknown
No, it’s within me. When I get that feeling like, oh my God, I simply cannot live another day unless I have that pair of shoes. I think I’m going to die. I’m going to explode if I don’t have those Betsey Johnson shoes, I think, oh, really? Really. Because for so long in my life, I would go just chasing that next thing, chasing that next day chasing, and then, oh, the letdown, because I couldn’t find it.
00;13;24;16 – 00;13;46;23
Unknown
But when I finally figured out that it’s in me, it’s really, truly interested in me. And I can dwell in me with Jesus and with Buddha and with all of the ascended masters. And we’re groovin together and we’re having a wonderful time, and we can see what’s beautiful in the world, and we can give that out. I mean, that’s that’s it.
00;13;46;25 – 00;14;09;29
Unknown
That’s. Have I just internally cleared my entire calendar for the rest of the day? Because we are going to have to dissect this session for hours. Yeah, I know, what, what day and I can break it to you. So if you, anybody, you or any of your listeners want to book their distance Reiki session with me, it works.
00;14;09;29 – 00;14;27;11
Unknown
I do a lot. I got a calendar. I’m I’m booking her right now with you. School was hard. I love it right now. I’m. I’m telling you, this is all the very you. What is it? I didn’t know all this. To talk about this for a second. How many times have I said to you autistic, that she. You can.
00;14;27;14 – 00;14;47;20
Unknown
You can in my language that because she’s saying the things that you’ve said. But for years. But I’m hearing from. Yeah. Yeah. It’s that is because you have dubbed me as the crazy person and she does not know Roshi, you don’t know whoever you are, the crazy person. But I do have to give you some credit. You’re. You really have it together.
00;14;47;20 – 00;15;04;00
Unknown
I know why it often. I know you, you you aren’t who you play on television. I know, okay, I know, and that’s why I love you. Because you you come out with these things sometimes that I’m like, that was effing brilliant. I know, I know, no one would know that. No one would know. You don’t give me you don’t give me that.
00;15;04;01 – 00;15;28;19
Unknown
Because, yeah, they don’t see underneath my surface. Right. But you also don’t want to think that I know you and that I know I don’t want up. No. Yeah. Now I’m a shaman here. I know I’m a shaman here. You are the. You’re you. I’m the children. I’m the shaman. Okay, so how many times have I said to you in over the course of our relationship of 20 years, I’m like, we’re all done speaking to these ten people.
00;15;28;24 – 00;15;49;06
Unknown
You’re going national. I know you’re going national. I know you are the shaman. I’ve said that so many times, and I know deep down you believe it. But because there’s not a clear path to get there, you can’t check this damn box. I know if there’s no clear path. Leah and I need the path. I need the stones set out so I know what I’m supposed to do, right?
00;15;49;09 – 00;16;11;02
Unknown
Right. Mostly you need someone else to to do that path, and then you’re going to fix it as you’re going. Yes, I know, I know, I know. And here’s the problem is, here’s the why can’t you answer? The key is within you. So just as important to that you got. Yeah. But you you you you will you do you you do.
00;16;11;02 – 00;16;36;20
Unknown
It’s gonna be there about three years. Six years of this podcast. And you might get there. Leah, how do I how do I get there? Because I will tell you intellectually that I know that it’s there. I know that what I’m working with here is something unique. And, it’s me and it’s helpful and beneficial and all of those things.
00;16;36;22 – 00;16;55;22
Unknown
But I’m not clear that I believe that at my core. And you want to know when it comes up for me, when I have to go make an Instagram video, when I have to. So I’ve had two Instagram videos recently. I think I’ve made a total of ten videos. Two of them have gone viral. So, there’s something there, right?
00;16;55;22 – 00;17;11;22
Unknown
Something that I am saying is resonating with someone with the price, with the people, with the people who are willing to listen. Right, right. And then the, the idiots who give a shit about your nose or my nose or whatever. We have here. So that’s where I don’t have. You see, I got a little nut is going to.
00;17;11;22 – 00;17;28;18
Unknown
Oh, yeah. See. Yeah. So what happens for me when I get in front of this camera is my very first thought is, why do you think that you have anything of importance to say to to anyone who’s going to give a shit about what you have to say? And then this other part of me comes in that is like, nope.
00;17;28;18 – 00;17;52;21
Unknown
You have a proven history of individually being able to connect with people many, many, many, many people and to build this bond. And I’m like, well, okay. Then the other side comes in and I’m like, well, that’s because you’re a great individual connector. You’re not a great mass connector. So then I get in front of this stupid camera and I’ve been a lot better about just doing one take and putting it out there.
00;17;52;21 – 00;18;25;00
Unknown
Right. And not like eating or being a perfectionist or whatever. And I still struggle with this when you’re talking about the key that is that is inside me, I am still is trapped. For me, it is something I just feel like I don’t have the right to be communicating with people at that level. What? What is that? Did you experience that?
00;18;25;03 – 00;18;45;03
Unknown
I did, but it was before I had my renaissance, my rebirth. So let me ask you some questions while they’re on my mind about it. Okay. First of all, how are you physically in your body? I used to be physically so disconnected from my body, it was absurd. How are you in that regard? I think I’m pretty well connected.
00;18;45;05 – 00;19;12;07
Unknown
What do you say to tell me? Like, do you. What do you what? How how do you. What makes you say that? I can usually tell if I wake up in the morning and something feels off to me if, I can tell if, I am having a physical response to something, but it’s actually as a result of I have a big presentation that I have to give.
00;19;12;09 – 00;19;29;08
Unknown
So I’m now doing a better job of being like, okay, you’re oh, before I just went on this trip to Denver, I remember thinking, you’re being a little snippy to people. You’re being a little, like, nasty. Some of the stuff that you’re saying doesn’t really come out right? Right. So then my husband will say, is everything okay?
00;19;29;08 – 00;19;51;15
Unknown
You’re coming across like this, and I’ll say, give me a minute. Let me try and figure out what this is. And then I’ll say, we were just at a basketball tournament all weekend. It didn’t have any time. To myself, I now have to hurry up and transition to get ready. I think I’m just really over stimulated, so I have a really good way of being able to connect what is going on physically in my body with what may be going on emotionally.
00;19;51;15 – 00;20;11;13
Unknown
Now, I do believe that that’s because I have 11 years of training to be a mental health therapist, and that does not include the time that I was actually doing therapy with people. Right? So I have been trained in that way for mind physical connection. It’s really interesting because I had a reaction when she asked that question. It’s only because of you and I comparing ourselves right?
00;20;11;16 – 00;20;38;11
Unknown
So Aaron’s energy, like if you were just to be around her, it’s very calm, it’s very grounded, it’s very in her feet. I my energy is all outside of my head and chaotic and very moving. So you’re a gas? I’m a solid. She’s like, she’s always sitting still and very proper where I’m like constantly, you’re going to see and I’m all the way I have to move.
00;20;38;13 – 00;20;41;04
Unknown
So.
00;20;41;07 – 00;21;11;22
Unknown
I don’t know if that also helps with her interpretation, but I’m constantly having to fidget. I’m a fidget or too. I’m definitely a fidget there. I’m not a still person. I usually try to be connected from my body. a morning routine was pivotal for me. I mean, a very strict morning routine, I, I get up, do you have a I way you shower order of operations.
00;21;11;25 – 00;21;39;10
Unknown
Yeah. She does well, I do, I do a guided meditation. Are you tapping your tap like I have? Yeah, I do not. But I do a guided meditation and I do a tap. I do a prayer to the directions for protection. And then I shake, shake, shake shake, shake, shake to get everything physically into my body. All just oriented, grounded.
00;21;39;12 – 00;22;03;21
Unknown
and I also don’t drink coffee. I stopped drinking coffee, and it has been so incredibly helpful for me. My nervous system never going to happen. My nervous system was shot. It is naturally not. I don’t think it’s in the best shape. And then I just drove it like I stole it until I was like 40, 40. That’s my motto.
00;22;03;23 – 00;22;27;21
Unknown
Just drive it. Drive it like I drove it. Like I stole it. Like I stole 100%. My problem. Okay. Keep going. Okay, so I quit coffee. I quit drinking alcohol. yeah, I had to. It was just too screwy with my nervous system. I was just making, you know, just be aware. She doesn’t have to speak to me because I’m already grounded in my body.
00;22;27;21 – 00;22;47;25
Unknown
I know, speaking to you. I know how you need to do it in the morning. Okay? So want to make sure we’re aware you’re currently talking to Rebecca, which is really beautiful. And I really love this part. So yes, for me to follow a routine never going to happen. I have an I mean, a 15 minute to the first of my day started my day.
00;22;47;25 – 00;23;08;06
Unknown
Every single day I sit there, I get myself grounded. I never ever anymore start a day thinking, oh God damn, it’s to another day. Whereas that was every day. Every day I got, I got to get up and do this shit again. But now it’s every day. What do I get to do today? This is so exciting. This is shit.
00;23;08;13 – 00;23;26;08
Unknown
That’s how I am. This I know, trying to do as much as I can. And then they have to do more and do more, you know, and it’s just made such a difference in my life. And another thing that I will tell you, that is a very concrete thing that I’ve done that has made so much difference in my life, is dancing every day not a choreographed dance.
00;23;26;08 – 00;23;55;08
Unknown
I just turn on music that I love and just dance for even five minutes can completely change and everything in your body. And if you think about it, that’s how we, we shaman. Especially back in the day, dancing was such a part of life, and it was such a part of expressing ourselves. And it wasn’t ever about getting good enough to do a show or, you know, wow, look at me, don’t I?
00;23;55;08 – 00;24;32;14
Unknown
Looks fabulous and sexy. No, it was just about just flailing yourself around and being natural and being letting yourself, your body expressed, get that energy out. It is the most freeing, most wonderful practice that I’ve added. And it’s something I encourage everybody to do because it can just absolute kind of like, you know, the flowing energy out. Say my same concept, my while yoga change area, change every thing around it because you’re and if you’re just dancing or not, you just can’t be thinking about I gotta go get my oil changed.
00;24;32;14 – 00;24;50;21
Unknown
I gotta do that. So I gotta do that. That is going to be on hold until you’re finished dancing. So it’s another form of meditation. A lot of us have a lot of a really hard time. I meditate every day, but I never just sit in silence. That’s not for me. That doesn’t mean I’m not meditating. It’s just not for me to do that.
00;24;50;23 – 00;25;10;04
Unknown
Some people walk meditating, some people dance. Meditating, whatever it is that’s a somatic practice is much easier for me to get into a meditative flow than what I’m just sitting. So that’s another tip I give to people who say, oh, I can’t meditate. I can’t just sit still, then don’t just forget it. That’s for some people. It’s not for everybody.
00;25;10;04 – 00;25;35;22
Unknown
Don’t worry about it. That’s one size. Football is the biggest lie you’re ever going to hear. Oh, there was nothing in the entire world. Can you speak that louder to the school systems? know. No kidding. I get that part. Okay, I get that part. I feel like I feel like, if one of the keys to knowing yourself is to be grounded in the physical sense of your body, I think I could cross that check.
00;25;35;22 – 00;26;01;28
Unknown
Mark. You cannot know, but I can cross that check. Mark, did you have you said you had a couple questions related to that? Or were there other things related to how do you find that key shadow? she don’t like that. She don’t like that she ain’t got no shadows. You, Yeah, I guess I guess she has no shadow side be all the time.
00;26;02;00 – 00;26;21;01
Unknown
What I give you my back to work was so helpful for me. And I’ll tell you one thing that I struggled with so very much. And I think you can begin to understand why I would, after hearing about my childhood, was resentment. I was the biggest little resentment bitch you would ever meet. I resented everyone, I resented being born.
00;26;21;01 – 00;26;45;06
Unknown
I resented being born in Texas. I resented being born with hyperhidrosis. I resented my dad for being mean. I resented my mom for not being attentive to the fact that I had, autism. I mean, you may deem it. I resented it. maybe I had a reason to, but, who cares what the fuck it was holding me back.
00;26;45;08 – 00;27;06;09
Unknown
I had to hope that was coming. And that was my biggest shadow. That was my biggest shadow. And I don’t look back and say, well, look at you, you horrible person. You were so resentful. What a horrible thing. No, I say, you know what? I see you, a lot of things happened that shouldn’t have happened. a lot of people didn’t do the things they should have done.
00;27;06;09 – 00;27;27;10
Unknown
A lot of times the ball was dropped. But here we are. And look at what we’ve got now. We’ve got all this experience that I can go forward and give people and try to make damn sure that nobody else goes through the things that I went through. And that’s what’s going to make all of that worth it. And I don’t have to have resentment because now I have this gift.
00;27;27;13 – 00;27;51;27
Unknown
I had to give up my resentment to have my gift. And that was a fair trade. I keep having this fascinating like picture that comes up in my mind. And it’s the, the early version of you who is depressed and anxious and suicidal and hates the thought of life in the you we see now in there so drastically different, right?
00;27;51;27 – 00;28;20;18
Unknown
I really feel like Leah could just be a third person on this show. Like she’s like the perfect middle ground of of how we engage with, with one another. But I’m having a hard time bridging those two people together. You can, you can you say, Leah, if there was just one thing, if you had to pick one really huge thing that got you from where you were to where you are now, what what’s what is it?
00;28;20;21 – 00;28;51;06
Unknown
Grace. Grace. just, you know, the talk about that Jesus feeling. I feel it right now. Because Grace, you know, it’s not a Christian thing. It’s not a muslim thing. It’s not a Hindu thing. It’s it’s it’s just it’s grace. It’s beauty and it’s love. And it’s something that you can spend your entire life close to and not even believing it.
00;28;51;09 – 00;29;11;16
Unknown
But if you just take one session and open yourself to it, it can flood you to life and change everything. And I know that that sounds like a cliche, and I know that people that oh, gee, look, you’re right, lady, but I’m telling you, I was as low as you can possibly be, and I just let. What if.
00;29;11;18 – 00;29;37;08
Unknown
What if I was wrong? What if there is hope. Can I just open just enough just to let that possibility in. And is you can really, truly open yourself without even holding that little, you know, escape clause in your mind. Just let it go. Be a little child. You should be a little child to enter heaven and just think, maybe I was wrong.
00;29;37;11 – 00;30;03;26
Unknown
Maybe I was wrong about all of this. About all the bad things about me, about all those things, bad things, about life. Maybe I’m exactly where I need to be. Maybe Grace has arranged all of this. Just let that possibility exist in your heart and in your mind. Just just let it wedge that little door open, and you might be shocked to find what will just come pushing that door wide open.
00;30;03;26 – 00;30;29;06
Unknown
And you think on, how could I have been close to this for so long? Because that’s how I am now. I just look back and I just want to hug myself and. And say it’s okay if you can just open just a little bit. Yeah. And I know it’s hard to open because there’s so much hurt that would just come in that door when you open it just a little bit, but you just distill it.
00;30;29;08 – 00;30;56;16
Unknown
Just trust enough. Just trust yourself enough to open up just a little bit. I love that. That’s my daughter’s middle name Grace. And it can change I mean grace can change everything. But you have to be willing to trust it and you have to not hold back a part of yourself like well if this grace thing doesn’t work now you gotta jump in.
00;30;56;18 – 00;31;30;23
Unknown
Grace is synonymous for me with vulnerability. Yeah. Grace is my vulnerability right. It’s the being authentically and unabashedly yourself and allowing yourself the opportunity to know I’m not going to reserve this. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And that’s and I it’s so hard. And what I think is beautiful about your story Leah is sometimes we have to get to the absolute bottom.
00;31;30;26 – 00;31;58;24
Unknown
To when all of your faculties are gone. Right. You are just you, you can’t even hold on to the thought that maybe there’ll be a backup plan. because. Right. You’re at the bottom, you know, this and that. Yeah. From that it allows you the strength to open to the possibility that I have nothing left to hold on to.
00;31;58;28 – 00;32;32;01
Unknown
I might as well grasp on to Grace. And see where it takes me in. In your case, Leah, it seems like it has taken you to this absolutely beautiful accepting you really like, authentic place of who you are is good enough is okay. is is our freakin card amidst. Right. Who you are is.
00;32;32;01 – 00;33;00;19
Unknown
Okay. And then through the process of being okay you realize better than okay. And I just think that’s so beautiful. You now share your gift with other people. It sounds like from your bio that you specialize in helping neurodivergent people understand themselves and sort of come into this grace. Is that correct. I certainly my, my hope and I do hope maybe I’ve been able to do that a little bit for you today.
00;33;00;26 – 00;33;24;03
Unknown
My dear new 400%, 100%, I have to tell you, we’ll end today’s show with an affirmation card and with you telling people how to get Ahold of you. But I just want to say, personally, it’s such a beautiful reminder to me that when someone sees you specifically, someone who doesn’t have any other reason to see you, right?
00;33;24;03 – 00;33;45;22
Unknown
We’ve had no no reason to be in contact with each other. There’s never been a time we’ve met before this show. And when someone can come in and mirror back to you who you are, it’s the most beautiful gift I think you can give to another human being. And it’s a reminder to me. I try and do that with all of the people that I engage with every single day.
00;33;45;24 – 00;34;23;01
Unknown
What a beautiful gift that is to give to someone. Because I know we joke, right? Rebecca’s over there. She’s got her notepad with all the checkmarks, right? But I’m not kidding. When when you would say, oh, yeah, well, we like judgment. Oh, well, we are justice, right? We’d also like judgment, but I try not to judge. But, you know, we know we need, when you would say things like that or would like to speak into existence, this thing that was so true for me for so long, I cannot tell you what that does to my inner soul.
00;34;23;01 – 00;34;51;00
Unknown
It’s a home. It’s a home base. It’s a home keeping. It’s like, oh my gosh, there’s someone else in this world who has been through our understands what some of this experience is like. And it’s not just me. Right. And if and if you can do that for any of these people that you are working with, I just believe it is the most beautiful gift you could possibly give to another person.
00;34;51;00 – 00;35;07;29
Unknown
And I feel like it’s a gift that you’ve given me. And I’m very, very thankful that we had you on today’s show. I went into this honestly believing this was going to be a a session for Rebecca in that room. I knew I was going to get all her mythical stuff, but, this hit me right in the heart.
00;35;07;29 – 00;35;32;21
Unknown
And I cannot thank you enough for the ways in which you have really helped me understand myself a little bit more. Why I am the way that I am and just feel just validated. And in in this world, it’s really beautiful. I cannot thank you enough for that. Well then, I have completed my mission in part this morning because that is really, truly what I live for and what I am here alive for.
00;35;32;21 – 00;35;52;12
Unknown
It’s why I lived past 50 to be able to do this. And so I’m very grateful that you have given me the opportunity to share, my gift, because it is a gift and I’m like, my ears are two, my glasses are crooked. I’m like, is it used like me that you with your crooked glasses, you consider a miracle every day?
00;35;52;12 – 00;36;14;20
Unknown
It’s totally fine. So before we go to the affirmation card to close us out, if people would like to get in contact with you, tell us how they can do that. And also tell us about the podcast that you have. Sure. my website is Leo Wellborn Dot net. That’s where you can find pretty much everything. I have an extremely active TikTok.
00;36;14;22 – 00;36;42;13
Unknown
I usually do 4 or 5 videos a day. Most of them are absurd, so I think you might find that fun. and also on YouTube, a lot. I post a lot on YouTube. I make I’ve probably made 10,000 goofy videos. I make videos content late. Yeah. so that’s really fun. I love to do that, but I also have I, I’m a meditation teacher or insight app.
00;36;42;13 – 00;37;05;21
Unknown
If anybody uses the app insight timer, it’s a free app. It’s my favorite meditation app. And I used it for years before I became a teacher there. So I do have many, many guided meditations there on the inside at timer, they’re completely free. I am a writer on Medium.com. I have two 278 stories. They are mostly about self-improvement and self enhancement and well-being.
00;37;05;24 – 00;37;33;05
Unknown
On Medium.com that is a $5 a month subscription, but I try to post those on my website as they come out free so you can read the story for free there. but not the back story. But anyway, and let’s see, I’m also I’m recently I’m an ordained minister now, so I’m very excited about how about expanding my services into house blessings, marriage blessings, baby blessings.
00;37;33;05 – 00;37;54;17
Unknown
I can officiate marriages, anything like that. I would love to be part of your spiritual journey in any way that I can do that. And of course, Reiki. I love doing distance Reiki. I have a lot of good reviews for Distance Reiki. It’s fascinating how it works. I have absolutely no understanding of it, but I also have no understanding of how the internet works and it works.
00;37;54;19 – 00;38;13;20
Unknown
I know I push a button and I see you and you see me. Same thing when I do distant Reiki, I say the prayers the person lays down in their own home, and we get to work and we’re communicating and feeling it back and forth. It’s pretty wild, but it works. I’m telling you to do it. Oh yeah, that’s an out and about around town for sure.
00;38;13;20 – 00;38;41;02
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. My podcast is called Empower Your Magical Self and I have one season out, 13 episodes. I’m I’m setting up my second season now. Kind of come out in September. I interview people who have made a profound difference in my life. They’re mostly women healers, teachers, writers, musicians, people who help me live by a soul lift, which is what I live.
00;38;41;02 – 00;39;04;26
Unknown
I do not do diets, I do not believe in them. And I don’t want to die right now. So I live a so lit. I don’t do anything that does not light my soul on fire. I don’t eat things that I know don’t agree with my body and my soul. I don’t talk with people, you know, obviously beyond interactions at stores and whatnot, but I don’t include people in my life that do not light my soul on fire.
00;39;05;02 – 00;39;28;09
Unknown
I just do not do things that do not like my soul on fire. So that is my soul lit that I live by. So that’s another thing that I like to help people get themselves on a soul lit. There will be no one size fits all for a soul that my soul. It will not be yours. But I do believe that we will all be better off if we all develop our own soul and and adhere to it as much as possible.
00;39;28;11 – 00;39;50;29
Unknown
Today. I think that I love everything. I love that it will also be in the description of this video. So what I like to do is make sure that there’s links and, you know, information in there how to get in contact with you. so we will push our audience to you as much as we possibly can. Again, the five star rating for me, you come and share and and I’m.
00;39;50;29 – 00;40;11;23
Unknown
Yeah, I have a keynote speech I’m ready to give. So. Yeah, I’m. Oh, I love it, I love it. Well, use your energy to let me know when I should stop. these cards so I can pick our final affirmation card. Okay? Okay. Stop.
00;40;11;26 – 00;40;39;06
Unknown
I know that for every door that life closes, a new one opens around the corner. I am optimistic stopping the answer key. Use your key to open that door. Right. That’s right, that’s right. This is your your new life. And we’re happy that you have lived past 50. Yeah. yeah. And you have a lot to offer and a lot of people’s lives to to rock in really awesome ways.
00;40;39;06 – 00;40;58;20
Unknown
So thank you, Leo Wellborn, for being with us today. Let’s close it out with her theme song. You’re mystic autistic. The mystic artistic. Yeah. The mystic I do that. Oh, whoa, whoa. Okay. All right. That was really fun, I do that.
00;40;58;23 – 00;41;34;22
Unknown
I loved that. Me too. It is an empathy. Amazing. Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the power of empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
