Episode 236- From Urgent Care to Keynote Speech: A Journey of Resilience

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;31;05
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin. Thanks for joining us on the Moor Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
00;00;31;05 – 00;00;57;03
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Oh, yay, I love this, and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world. Especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay.
00;00;57;05 – 00;01;16;29
Unknown
I can’t wait to tell you about this trip I just took. Well, it started with me calling you and being in a complete panic and you telling me I can’t talk to you right now because I’m playing board games with my family. Yeah, that is how it started. Well, I had no sorry. Did it? I had no bra, I had power, I didn’t have the internets.
00;01;16;29 – 00;01;36;27
Unknown
I can’t wait to insert that part of the story after how much had already happened to me. Because you didn’t know any of those things. Because you didn’t give me any time to tell you. Because you told me. You said, hurry up, my my dice roll is next. Basically, we were playing like, if you had any clue what has just happened to me, you would have been like, guys like you.
00;01;37;02 – 00;02;00;09
Unknown
Take my turn, guys. That’s playing. We were playing the new version of life that I have a lot of feelings about. Oh, a lot of feelings. Why? And it was very real mad that women get to actually make money in this version. No, there are no women and men. Oh, there are no women and men. It’s random colors and the jobs are asinine.
00;02;00;09 – 00;02;27;27
Unknown
And it’s just it’s the stupidest version I have ever seen. And isn’t there a pay day version, a woman’s pay day, or a woman’s version of life or something? Isn’t there one of those games we should play that I can’t? That’s interesting. They make you pay 50 grand for. How did it go? I think it was. If you want to get married, you got to pay 50 grand.
00;02;28;00 – 00;02;43;28
Unknown
But if you want to have a kid, you got to pay 50 grand. Wow. Everybody equal across the board. I’m like, this isn’t how life works. It’s pretty close. No, it is not. It’s 50 grand. But if you don’t want to get married, you don’t want to have a kid. Then you get to keep that money. You do.
00;02;43;28 – 00;03;06;10
Unknown
But then you get screwed at the end of your life because the more are quote unquote pegs. Because remember, we’re gender neutral now. The more pegs you have in your car, the more money you get in your retirement, the more pegs you have in your car. Like, oh, rep. The representation was like I thought I was like, oh my God, this is the by the time the belly is there.
00;03;06;11 – 00;03;23;03
Unknown
What the pegs. My, my, it was very crackly. Now mine’s very crackly, but maybe it’s because you keep moving and I can’t keep the frame here. That’s what it is. The frame has nothing to do with the quality of it. She’s in like the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Now she’s like, basically, do not keep her.
00;03;23;05 – 00;03;39;03
Unknown
Where do you want me to go? That’s like that’s like so the when you get to the end because Sawyer kept saying. Cause she plays this all the time, right. Me and Taylor never play this. And she’s like, I’m telling you right now, you’re gonna want to pay that 50 grand. I’m like, why not keep that? It should my in my account.
00;03;39;03 – 00;03;55;22
Unknown
And we played it round because apparently when you pass payday you’re supposed to get paid. I was like, no, you only get paid when you land on that shit. So good luck getting through life. That’s that’s a we we’re at the end if we none of us have any freaking money that I realize. Oh, that’s why I can’t buy a house.
00;03;55;25 – 00;04;09;13
Unknown
Because at one point, I was supposed to buy a house. I’m like, I don’t have any money because I’m not getting a house. You’re paying. You’re playing like your own real shit. I don’t really get paid. If I do the work, you all the rest of us get paid by my game. But I’m not getting no kid. I’m not getting.
00;04;09;13 – 00;04;27;19
Unknown
I’m not paying no 50 grand. Forget if that shit don’t come naturally. So anyway, that’s. I was in the middle of a rant when you called. Okay, I say, well, that’ll be really good to know what I position this with in the rest of the story, because otherwise it sounds like you’re just the most insensitive human being in the entire planet.
00;04;27;19 – 00;04;49;26
Unknown
Okay. Do it. So lay it on me. I end up waking up. This was on Wednesday morning and my whole I. Looks like I got in a fight with Mike Tyson. It looks like someone has punched me square in the right eye. It is not okay to the point where Mark is like, what happened? Where are you? I don’t understand why did you get in?
00;04;49;26 – 00;05;14;02
Unknown
What went on there? Right. And I’m like, it’s fine. I think it’s just a sty. And and an infection sty is some reading that I’ve done on this. Essentially, you have oil glands throughout all of your eyelids. And a stye is essentially when one of those oil glands gets can you like talk in code? Yes. It’s filled up like a zit with cells.
00;05;14;02 – 00;05;33;19
Unknown
Okay. All right. Enough of the education. Got it. I got it. It’s gross. Then it doesn’t come out. So then it looks like a little white hat. But the problem is it’s on your eyelids, and then, you know, it hurts and it’s painful. It’s very painful. I don’t like talking about. It’s a very painful. Okay, so I decide it’s fine.
00;05;33;23 – 00;05;56;02
Unknown
I’m just going to deal with it, you know, it’ll go down eventually. You’re supposed to use it. Go warm, compress, compress. Someone recommended castor oil. Someone recommend? Tried a, Well, it had been better than the alternative I’m about to tell you about. And then someone recommended, like, a camomile tea bag. Right. So they recommended you tea?
00;05;56;05 – 00;06;21;02
Unknown
They recommended my my eyesight. I get recommended I teabag my I, Mark was Mark was a fan of that option. I bet he was. Mark was like, I’ll do it. That’s a good one. But I tell you, I picked that option. Children are most fricking 15 years old. I’m 12. I’m sorry. It’s like you like you didn’t get me into this.
00;06;21;02 – 00;06;46;02
Unknown
I don’t think these things. I’m neurodivergent. My level of, like, sophistication is higher. You are. You bring me shit down. Anybody heard? Can you just tell me off? Anybody heard that? Jokes. You can’t use that reason. I pissed my pants in the fucking videos is because of shit you say. That’s witty and funny. It’s not because it’s sixth grade humor.
00;06;46;04 – 00;07;07;04
Unknown
Yeah, so you need to remember that I am a logical storyteller. And if I get thrown off this whole story is going to be the whole podcast. Okay, okay, I got to focus, which is sort of my plan that. So my mom convinces me that I need to go to urgent care because I’m going to be out of town for five days, and in the event it gets worse, does it cut?
00;07;07;04 – 00;07;25;26
Unknown
My insurance doesn’t cover anything out of New York, and I’m now have to find an urgent care or whatever in Virginia or in Maryland, whichever state I’m in at the time. Right? No good. No bueno. I drive myself to urgent care. After you got some Wendy’s, I shut up about seats. You. It’s a 2 p.m.. What? It was stupid.
00;07;25;26 – 00;07;46;29
Unknown
Yeah. What? I need a massive first. I didn’t have a lunch. They got such that they got sassy nuggets, they got spicy nuggets, and I got sassy nuggets. Give me a really bad heartburn. No, I ever did it. Why did you have to tell people I went to Wendy’s? Yes, I know me. Yeah. Sorry. You have to call it.
00;07;46;29 – 00;08;05;16
Unknown
I’m like, stop talking me. I’m going through the drive through whatever I should have known. I should wait it five minutes and I know I’m like, I’m on my way to urgent care. But I had to stop it when me, I just saw Wendy’s because my blood sugars getting low, I got, I, I don’t need that more like it’s 2 p.m. if you had one of those spicy Nikes, they’re sassy.
00;08;05;18 – 00;08;27;11
Unknown
I don’t eat fast food. Oh, well, you’re missing out because they’re delicious. Don’t get the garlic ones. The magic massive heartburn. So anyway, yeah, might have made a quick pitstop at Wendy’s. Who cares? And then I went on to urgent care and I sat in urgent care. No joke. One hour and 45 minutes. They’re about to call my name.
00;08;27;14 – 00;08;48;28
Unknown
I swear to God, I am the next person up and I’m at the wall. You’re here it is. 305. I have to walk out of there like three, five flight because I got to catch a flight. Oh, my flight leaves at 520. Okay. Did you tell them? And I’m in. Victor, did you tell them? No, it was just taken a little longer than I expected.
00;08;48;28 – 00;09;15;23
Unknown
Doesn’t this man come in? He’s this grandfather. His grandson brought him in. He has a icepack on his head. And I hear him say, I just ran into a forklift and I’m bleeding like a says. And I think I knocked myself out because I went unconscious for a little bit. Yeah. I’m thinking the urgent care is not where you go.
00;09;15;24 – 00;09;36;07
Unknown
Why are we at Urgent Care? And Victor, I would have said, I’m calling the ambulance. We got other people in line, but we weren’t going to do that. Because you want to know what? They brought him and brought him right back? Yep. So then I’m there. It’s 315. And I say to the woman, I been here for an hour and 45 minutes, and I understand the urgency associated with having to bring that man back.
00;09;36;07 – 00;09;50;23
Unknown
But I now need to leave and you need to take me off the list, because now I need to go get you a plane with a double STI in my eye and no antibiotic ointment. And what did you say? All right, I’ll remove you from the last. Stop it. You won’t get charged. You’re damn straight I won’t get charged.
00;09;50;24 – 00;10;04;27
Unknown
Well, that’s after you have to go to the second urgent care. Because the first one didn’t take care insurance. That’s right. This is my second or third check. I go to the first urgent care and I say I have Blue Cross, Blue Shield. And she’s like, we don’t accept that. It’s well. And then I looked behind me and was like, I’m sorry.
00;10;05;00 – 00;10;25;08
Unknown
What do you mean? They take everything, but I don’t think anyone doesn’t accept Blue Cross. Blue Shield. She’s like, you can stay here, but it’s going to cost you $165. They probably about a, b, c yeah, it would have been done by that. I should have paid it. I know, I know, I know. So whatever I say to myself it’s fine I, I’ve got this massive STI in my eye.
00;10;25;08 – 00;10;50;19
Unknown
Barely see out of my eye because I got bit by mosquitoes and but I’ll just go get on the plane. Right. So I’m driving to the airport and Rene calls and says, hold up flights canceled. Oh, yeah. This was was this. I said, nope, this was not the day the whole world went down. This was the day I was a different day.
00;10;50;19 – 00;11;10;04
Unknown
This was the day though. I was playing wife, wife. I was playing life because we had no cell data and we had no internet. All right, okay, I got to go. She says line flight is canceled and I say, okay, what does that mean? So she’s there at the airport negotiating with these people, how we both need to go, but we need to go together.
00;11;10;04 – 00;11;30;17
Unknown
So we need the two seats. If we don’t do two seats, then Aaron needs to go because she has a keynote that she needs to give. And, you know, I’ll hold back, but we need to meet up at some point because we’re going to this conference. Whatever. So I said, well, drive to the airport anyway, because even if our next flight out isn’t until 8 p.m., you’re not going to sit there from 330 to 8 p.m. by yourself.
00;11;30;17 – 00;11;56;10
Unknown
So I’ll end up coming there. And where are you going? Maryland. At this point, we’re flying. We were supposed to be flying into some place in Virginia. Dulles must have been something. That’s Washington DC, DC, so it must have been. But it’s right. That’s all there. Yeah, it was all in that, in that area. So then she finds out that our flight is going to leave at 740 instead of 520.
00;11;56;10 – 00;12;14;05
Unknown
So she’s like, the good news is it’s only 315. We have enough time to go to the next urgent care. And I said, fine. So I pick her up. She technically picks me up. Mark drops me off, she picks me up, we get in the car, we go to the other urgent care. We end up going to the one over in Grace said.
00;12;14;05 – 00;12;27;14
Unknown
In that urgent care, is that the one that you took me to for my. Oh, no, this is it. That one was right up the road. That’s the one I thought we were going to. But this was a different one. This is over by where Tim Hortons and the cold Stone. Okay. Yeah. Right over there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
00;12;27;16 – 00;12;53;25
Unknown
By Hobby Lobby. Yes. Yep. Yes. So not the who I oh my God I’ll pick Brighton any day over Grace. So we walk in I wait a half an hour. She says, do you want me to come back with you? I said, yeah, sure. It doesn’t. Doesn’t matter to me. We go back and the woman walks and I say, I hate to tell you that I’m on a quick turnaround here, but I do need to catch a plane.
00;12;53;25 – 00;13;18;23
Unknown
So we need to walk out of here by 530. And it’s now like, I don’t know, for 45, maybe somewhere around there, she says. Not a problem. Does the normal vitals, whatever sends back the MP then comes in, looks at my eye and she is staring at it, and she is looking at it weird. And she’s looking at this part like, not my eye, but like this inside part of my nose.
00;13;18;23 – 00;13;45;22
Unknown
Yeah. And she’s touching it. She’s touching this inside part of my nose. We have a sinus infection. She says, have you had the chickenpox? Stop it. We have shingles. I said, yeah, stop it. She says, I’m afraid this isn’t a stye in your eye. I’m. I’m afraid that you have shingles in your eye. Rene starts cracking up.
00;13;45;24 – 00;14;09;27
Unknown
Not funny because she’s so uncomfortable. Oh, my God, that’s not me. You got to go to freaking. I look at this woman and say, what are you talking about? Yeah, same reaction I had when they told me I had shingles in my, she said, I. I’m afraid that it’s shingles in your eye. Does this hurt? She touches it again and I said, it’s not that it hurts.
00;14;10;00 – 00;14;40;02
Unknown
I feel you touching it. And it’s a bit uncomfortable because there’s these little bumps right there. Right. Stop it. She says. I need to put you on an antiviral, and you need to take this antiviral immediately. Because if you don’t get this and take care of this in time, you’re gonna get this disease line. Yeah. She says the words, you’re gonna go blind.
00;14;40;05 – 00;15;13;05
Unknown
Yep, I been here. I know, I say welcome to the, This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not going to take that antiviral. She says, why not? And I said, well, for starters, I have a friend who’s taken this antiviral, and it all but took her insides out. Okay. And I didn’t tell them that medication doesn’t work on you, and you got to take eight times the dose.
00;15;13;07 – 00;15;35;27
Unknown
So if this antiviral works on you and, you know, for me, I know. Yeah, I take half of the kids Dramamine and I’m, like, passed out on a plane, right. This antiviral before I’m about to get in front of 800 people, 400 virtual, 400 in person to give a keynote where I’m not already nervous enough. You think I’m gonna take an antiviral and stand up in front of these people?
00;15;35;27 – 00;16;01;11
Unknown
I’m shit my pants. Legit shit my knickers. Not to stop it doesn’t make you feel good. Yeah, I’m going to be vomiting a lot of be what? A lot of ways. Yeah. I say this is not shingles. Oh, and you’re you’re convincing the LP this. That’s not it’s not shingles in my. Okay. And I said do you want to know what it is.
00;16;01;17 – 00;16;34;13
Unknown
She’s looking at me like I’m just absolutely nuts. I said I got a new primer, I got a new primer from my favorite makeup company. Oh, I’m sorry, exhibit A, I got a new primer that I love very much. It is green. It’s a green primer so that it gets rid of the redness. My rosacea. Okay. Right. And it is a great primer.
00;16;34;16 – 00;17;03;08
Unknown
However, it’s a little more oily than what I’m used to. Okay. And I got this primer. I’ve been using this primer putting it all over because I really like it. That’s the only thing I’ve changed about my skincare routine. I’ve been reading on the Google that styes come about when you basically get clogged oil ducts or glands. This is a bit more oily than my normal primer.
00;17;03;11 – 00;17;26;25
Unknown
I guarantee you. What’s happening is that I’ve used this primer. It’s clogged some of my oil ducts, created the STI, created these little bumps that look like little whiteheads right here. Are you makeup free at the doctor? Are you still have makeup on? Makeup frame. Okay. And makeup free so she can see. She can see all. Yeah.
00;17;26;27 – 00;18;00;18
Unknown
Like it’s pure. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yep. And I say that’s what I think is going on here. And what would you do if this was genuinely a stye. She said I would give you an anti-bacterial ointment and you could use that. You could try that. And hey said, I’m going to be really honest with you. You’re welcome to fill that antiviral for me, because if it starts to get worse or if it starts to continue to spread, what if I’m like, if it was, this is not great or it starts to actually hurt me.
00;18;00;18 – 00;18;26;16
Unknown
You know, the the bottom part of my eyelid hurts because it’s puffy, because it feels like a, like a pimple, right? So I said, that doesn’t feel good. But if that is the case, I will absolutely take the antiviral. I’m not interested in going blind in my my right eye or having shingles in this really weird place. But how many people in the world does shingles attack your eye with no other, you know, symptoms wherever?
00;18;26;19 – 00;18;46;06
Unknown
She sites are relatively low number. And then I’m just, like, putting all of this together and being like, this just doesn’t make any sense. Now, if you weren’t using that different story, I think I, I if I could not identify anything that I changed about my routine, I might be a little more nervous at this point.
00;18;46;08 – 00;19;08;04
Unknown
She then takes this thing that looks like a Q-Tip but it’s like a little more feathery. And she takes it and she starts rubbing it across the, the stye. Right. She then goes to send that out. So she’s going to send it to the lab. What’s that going to do. Determine if it’s to derm to determine if it’s shingles.
00;19;08;07 – 00;19;29;10
Unknown
Shingles because she’s going to take this and get this little like I don’t know whatever from it to, to determine if that whatever’s inside of it is whatever type of virus or some, some type of whatever I it’s this has a very long name. I don’t know what it is. Okay. She then tells me that, she doesn’t think that that’s what I should do.
00;19;29;10 – 00;19;54;07
Unknown
She thinks I should take the, the antiviral and and of course she does, because she thinks this is shingles. I appreciate that, and I say, great, thank you very much. You know, please make sure that that antibiotic ointment is in the, the bag, because I’m gonna use that first. And frankly, that wouldn’t hurt. You know, the antibiotic ointment, it would just do nothing if it wasn’t right, a infection, and then the infection would continue to go.
00;19;54;07 – 00;20;15;29
Unknown
Now, you know that the worry about shingles is you need to catch it relatively early on because its growth rate is more than what you’re able to visually see a day or two, so would be probably fine. So I’m like, I’m going to try this first. Yeah. And she ends up dying. My I think looking at it under a blacklight doesn’t see anything there.
00;20;16;06 – 00;20;35;27
Unknown
She ends up taking the culture, which technically the culture. I don’t know how relevant that’s going to be because you really need to get some of the stuff. But and so you got to open it. Right. And she’s not going to do that. I’m not going to let her do that. It’s disgusting. So she goes she fills my prescriptions.
00;20;35;27 – 00;20;53;21
Unknown
We’re basically peeling in to Wegmans to go and gates chili to go get the the prescriptions to then head over to park the car to then get shuttled over. Right. Just to make our art. Your flight. Yeah. So here I am. I’ve been told I’m going to go blind. I think I have shingles in my eye. I’m convinced it’s not.
00;20;53;21 – 00;21;19;03
Unknown
I’m convinced I just need this antibiotic. We go there to the airport. We’re now waiting for the plane to leave, and we find out that it’s now been delayed. Now it’s been delayed until 815 or 820, and we have 12 minutes. Once the flight lands in Charlotte to get from that plane to the other plane. 12 minutes.
00;21;19;03 – 00;21;37;15
Unknown
That’s not good. I then say, wait a minute, you have to go to Charlotte, then to go back. Yeah, I can’t correct, correct. Because this was the correct redirected flight or whatever. Because this is the redirect. Because the first one got canceled. You’re better off going into Baltimore and driving. I say. I don’t think it’s a good idea.
00;21;37;15 – 00;22;00;21
Unknown
We get on this flight, you’ll be stuck there. So what happens if we get on this flight? What are the alternative? So Rene goes up, she checks out. There is no alternative flight out of there. The next flight leaves at whatever time the following morning. I wouldn’t get in till three. One. Your keynote one. Yeah. I said we can’t take that risk because now we’re in Charlotte instead of in Rochester.
00;22;00;21 – 00;22;28;13
Unknown
Right. And she looks at me and she’s like we have to drive. I said I know I don’t want that to be the reality because at this moment it’s 645 seven something at night. But what isn’t a tower to drive. It’s a six hour drive. Oh that’s not terrible okay. All right. So we go downstairs to go get a rental car out of the seven rental car places, six of them are closed.
00;22;28;16 – 00;22;47;17
Unknown
They’ve either rented all of their cars or the rentals in the community. So not the ones in the airport closed at 630. And you don’t want to take her next car? We didn’t want to have to take Renee’s car because we didn’t know if we were going to be reimbursed. Renee’s car also just got out of the shop two weeks ago because she had hit a deer.
00;22;47;18 – 00;23;07;16
Unknown
Okay, yeah, it’s probably probably not a good idea. There’s 24 people in the Hertz line, because they’re on the same set. So I now know they’re not going away. Even if we wait another hour and a half in this line, there are 24 cars. And they didn’t just start giving cars out with the first person that ended up in this line.
00;23;07;17 – 00;23;31;04
Unknown
There’s there’s no way, it’s at this moment that I call you. Okay. This is where this story of you enters. So this is what I’ve been through. I have shingles in my eye. Even at two urgent care, some guy hit himself with a forklift and knocked himself out. My flight’s been canceled. My flight’s been delayed. I now have to drive to Virginia.
00;23;31;06 – 00;23;54;07
Unknown
Six hours. It’s seven something at night. I have not eaten anything except for, I don’t know, like a small French fry. At this point today, and I am now. I can’t get a rental car. None of the places are open. Amtrak is not a possibility driving to Buffalo to get a car out of that airport. We tried multiple places not available driving to Syracuse, which so would have been out of the way.
00;23;54;10 – 00;24;15;23
Unknown
Still not possible. And I think it’s okay. I’m going to call Rebecca and I’m going to find out what’s the name of that car place. I gave it to. I DPD dream bring me, bring, bring. I almost didn’t answer. You say because I’m busy. Hey, what what I what I don’t we don’t have any power over here. I’m in the middle.
00;24;15;23 – 00;24;39;13
Unknown
We’re playing board games as a family. What do you need? This is. This is what you say to me. And I go, yeah, okay, great. All I need to know is, what’s the name of that car place where you can rent other people’s car, like Airbnb. You’re like tarot. Tarot? I said, okay, great. And then you’re like, hey, hang on guys, hang on guys, I’ll be right there.
00;24;39;17 – 00;25;03;14
Unknown
Right. This is what’s happening in your your land. And then in my land. I am a frickin disaster. Mess. You’re like, it’s tarot. I’m like, great. Thank you. Thanks. I’m all set. Thank you. I end up hanging up the phone with you. I’m like, I can’t. They’re they’re frickin playing Candyland over there. And this is so important for family time in my my life over here.
00;25;03;14 – 00;25;26;10
Unknown
I’m about to be blind in one eye and and I still have to drive, and it’s fine, but. Yeah, because you have to drive. I don’t because I get sick. So then I get back in the car to go back to the place to go pick up our own car. Right. The shuttle the guy, the guy goes all right guys coming in from I’m like the airport.
00;25;26;13 – 00;25;44;02
Unknown
He’s looking at me I should we didn’t go anywhere. We got dropped off here. We sat here like a bunch of idiots. And now it’s going to be 830 at night when we’re finally going to leave to go out to this conference. It was 830 at night that we finally get on the road. I say, I don’t want fast food.
00;25;44;02 – 00;26;08;23
Unknown
I want something that actually tastes somewhat decent for dinner. That didn’t end up working out. I ended up having a medium fry for McDonald’s. Renee ended up having a four piece chicken nugget, and then we stopped at a gas station and both got Chex Mix and iced tea and, hot chocolate. That was dinner. Got enough for 15 in the morning the last two hours of the trip.
00;26;08;25 – 00;26;28;05
Unknown
We are listening to podcasts on volume 35 to get Stay Awake because we cannot stay awake. I drove the first four hours, she drove the last two hours. I’m talking to her about random shit that no one cares about because we’re both just trying to stay awake. I think we should get the windows down. No, that wasn’t an option either.
00;26;28;09 – 00;26;47;23
Unknown
So we ended up having to take Rene’s van. Oh, you did. And then they were like, we’ll reimburse you for mileage, but their mileage rate out of Virginia or DC is $0.11 less than what it is out in New York. So you get some measly ass check. At the end of the day, we’re driving down there in the van and I’m like, do you smell that?
00;26;47;23 – 00;27;08;20
Unknown
It’s not like, but, gingerbread cookie. She’s like, I just check the fuel gauge or the heat gauge to make sure it’s. I’m like, I swear to God, if this happens, I’m pulling over on the side of the I’m sick. My thumb out. I’m all done. Nope. Finally show up for 15in the morning sleep until I didn’t even bring my stuff in.
00;27;08;26 – 00;27;29;04
Unknown
I didn’t even brush my teeth. I said, I’m going in there and I’m laying down and no one has to talk to me. I just fell right asleep, woke up at 9:00 in the morning and then went and did the keynote. I think we had to be there for soundcheck between 11 and 1130 in the morning. I would have been like, sorry, can’t make it, can’t make it.
00;27;29;11 – 00;27;52;00
Unknown
There’s eight. But here’s the problem. You know, we were already going to the conference after that. We had already had a car booked. We can’t sold the car booking that we had because I got asked at the last minute to do this keynote. So now we no longer had that car that we could have taken, we would have been in the same situation.
00;27;52;00 – 00;28;12;13
Unknown
We just would have been leaving, you know, one day later because you know that they had already given our car away because of how many people you saw on the Hertz line. So no matter what, we would have been driving anyway had it been on our radio today on a different flight, just to a different airport. But then we would have had to pay for that because carousel was paying for it, because I was presenting at their keynote.
00;28;12;13 – 00;28;33;17
Unknown
If I wasn’t presenting at their keynote, then I got to pay for that. The rental car was 200 bucks, you know? Yeah. So we were driving either way, it was. It was unreal. So we go to this conference, have a great time. It’s a really it was out women and government IT conference. Phenomenal conference after a beautiful job with this conference.
00;28;33;19 – 00;28;52;05
Unknown
And while I’m there at the very end of the night I go to this table. Well, so first of all, this is a story of how you now own this primer. And I hope you’re really out. And I hope it doesn’t give you any knowledge that you can throw that right over there in the garage. But I just got yeah, we got we got you some primer help that works.
00;28;52;06 – 00;29;11;29
Unknown
Now. Yeah. But I’m, I’m all done on my phone. I can finish that story. So you stopped using that. You use the anti immediately put the antibacterial and felt better in my eye that that moment that I got it. And then right as soon as we got to the hotel put it in my eye again. Woke up at 9:00 in the morning.
00;29;12;02 – 00;29;35;01
Unknown
Got 100% gone. Great. Not an issue whatsoever. Not shingles in my eye okay. Antiviral I have that on hand. When your body decides to go into chaos I think that’s what’s going to happen. I’ll just keep that for you because that shit doesn’t happen to me. I’m all set. But yeah I got, you know, throw that throw that primer right in the garage.
00;29;35;03 – 00;29;53;27
Unknown
So speaking of your health issues, I’m now at this conference. I’ve given the keynote. It’s at the end. So wine and dine at the end. And they have all these tables where you go and talk to all these people. Okay. What did you find on this random table about women and leadership? And like they want these people to come in and whatever.
00;29;54;00 – 00;30;19;17
Unknown
There’s this this guy, they’re standing next to these books, okay. And one book makes perfect sense on this table. And it’s something about sales trajectory for women. But it’s a man behind the table. Yes I was yes okay. Yes. But it’s it’s it’s isn’t it ironic. Does you think, he’s he’s teaching women how to sell. Okay. And he’s got this book.
00;30;19;17 – 00;30;42;08
Unknown
Okay. And he says to me, would you like me to sign that for you? I’m the author. What’s his name? Fred Diamond. Okay. Don’t know him. I thought you were going to say it with somebody I knew. No. Okay. So I’m like, yeah, sure, sure. Okay. Yeah. You want to sign my my sales book? Yeah. Okay. I’m just thinking it’s a free book.
00;30;42;08 – 00;31;10;11
Unknown
And that’s exciting to me. Right. And it might be there, right there on the sales table next to the sales book, next to all of these different pamphlets is this other book. Oh, God, oh, God. Called love, Hope, lime. And what the writer he’s to that. Stop it right now. What? Family members, partners and friends who love a chronic Lyme survivor.
00;31;10;14 – 00;31;32;05
Unknown
I need to know. Oh, did you immediately read it? And I highlight everything? What I did was I got him to sign it. Can you sign this? Could you please sign this for Rebecca? So I had him. I had him personally sign up for. Had him sign this. Thank you. For you. It says Rebecca. Have hope, Fred diamond.
00;31;32;07 – 00;31;56;00
Unknown
Okay, so listen to me, okay? I’m. I’m at this table with this man, and I say, could you tell me about this book? I’d love to know a little bit more about this. This. Then my best friend got bit biotech and she’s got Lyme in her whole systems. Walk a donkey, sends them absolute wank. A donkey, he says, really?
00;31;56;03 – 00;32;22;01
Unknown
Don’t, Mark, he says, I can’t wait. I am now a leading expert, but I’m okay. Okay, okay. Did he wear green suit? Okay, okay. She was wearing a green suit. Say more. Please say more. I’m a leading expert in Lyme, he says. And, this all came about from my journey with my now ex-wife. She was bitten by a tick.
00;32;22;01 – 00;32;47;23
Unknown
I can’t look at you yet. She says it basically, her entire life completely changed. I said, that’s my friend. That’s my happened, my friend. And so he starts. He starts saying, I have now dove into the life of Lyme. And I did all of these thorough research studies. This is what he says. You know how I feel about this.
00;32;47;23 – 00;33;06;21
Unknown
Yeah. Know how I feel. A lot of people who say that they’re doing research, study. Show me your IAB, show me your high. Be subject to prove it right. You also want to see the questionnaire is you see the person to see what is absolutely high where we may now all of a sudden non-medical provider jumped into some medical trials, done some research.
00;33;06;21 – 00;33;25;09
Unknown
What you did, sir, was a review. I’m focused on the X part of the wife. Oh, yeah. I’ll go get there. I’ll get there. Okay. Yeah. Just so we’re clear, sir, you did a little review. You found some research articles and you read it, and then you summarized it and you came to your own hypothesis. That is not research.
00;33;25;09 – 00;33;45;29
Unknown
Don’t get me on this soapbox, cause this shit drives me nuts. Do not tell me you’re doing research. It’s a literature review. You know who else does it review? Seventh graders. Okay, sir. It’s called a book report. It’s a frickin book report. I’m happy that you did this. Really happy for you. Congratulations. About your book report. Anyway, tell me again about your wife.
00;33;46;05 – 00;34;20;11
Unknown
Exact wife. Right? Right. So he he drove deep into this, and basically he found out that the tax impact at multiple different areas of your central nervous system. But it’s when the, the tick fluid or whatever happened to the tick breaks the blood brain barrier that you start to go, yes. Where can do. And I said they there sir.
00;34;20;11 – 00;34;36;14
Unknown
Well I think one of the they didn’t find the tick so I’ve decided it buried itself. So down it still in there just to let you know where it is, where it’s in your right arm. Like it’s in your right arm where you burn, burn, burn like a burning ring of fire. Yeah. It’s actually every time I get sick.
00;34;36;14 – 00;34;59;09
Unknown
That’s right. That’s my. It might I went into. That’s right, I know that. Then you had lip burn. Remember? She was had the lip burn. Jesus, Scott, hang with us here, okay? This is important. We’re doing medical shit. Yeah. Step out for smoke. I don’t even smoke, but I don’t to step out for smoke. Oh, shit. Here. I’m the moral of a podcast.
00;34;59;11 – 00;35;21;03
Unknown
So I’m in it with this man. I’m saying, like, right here, I’m like, I need to sign this for her. She’s on the outs. Sir, I need you to sign this. So he’s playing real coy with me. He’s playing real coy, you know, like he is the frickin, you know, the the medical guru. When it comes to to a lime.
00;35;21;05 – 00;35;44;27
Unknown
So he’s telling me about his book report and all of the stuff that he’s done. And he is telling me that basically his wife all but turned to mush as a result of this, this lime in that it, it really screwed with her brain. That’s his wife right there. That was her. That’s why she’s seltzer. Because, yeah, there wasn’t much left of her.
00;35;44;27 – 00;36;09;00
Unknown
Yeah. And then it basically got into her brain because it it took over the blood brain barrier went went past it. And apparently it’s here because he kept talking about it here. And so once it goes past here okay. And then it just closed. What I know I know, it’s I know. So he is telling me about these things and how basically she but she is certifiable.
00;36;09;00 – 00;36;32;00
Unknown
He starts to talk about all our mental health problems. I’m like yeah, yeah, yeah. He starts talking to me about how she, had mood changes. He starts telling me how basically she wasn’t the same person that she was even three years before. Yes, sir. Say it loud. Or what else? This is me. Now. I’m out of.
00;36;32;03 – 00;36;55;26
Unknown
This is. And I said, is there a cure? No. There’s things that can stop the progression. I’ll slow it. Oh, but like stings, it’s headed. The bee stings. So what is he saying to me? I want to really take a moment and thank you for being your friend. Such a great friend to her. Because he couldn’t. He couldn’t take what he couldn’t do out here.
00;36;55;26 – 00;37;13;14
Unknown
This a diatribe. You see your wife, I’m on my way to acts and her is my best friend. But I haven’t gotten there yet. A couple more to get to the blood brain barrier, and then I’m like, this shit’s nuts. Out! Get out of here. The line is no joke. So he thinks me. He thinks me for picking up the book.
00;37;13;17 – 00;37;33;22
Unknown
Yeah, he thinks me. I’m going to read about it. Okay. Being gluten free before it was cool. That’s one of the chapters becoming your own health care advocate. Well, you don’t do that, I do. I go in with the and poster board covering family activities. I got that down. Stories of Lyme survivors and how you can make a difference.
00;37;33;22 – 00;37;56;13
Unknown
Oh, okay. The challenges of understanding Lyme disease. Well, he knows because he did that report on it early stage. This is a report that’s this is this is oh I just read here’s this little poem in here that I scan to. Oh I miss me. The old me, the smiling me, the laughing me. I wrote that the gone wrong things.
00;37;56;16 – 00;38;16;14
Unknown
We’re going to hell. We are absolutely going to hell. Listen to me I was I read this year early stage Lyme disease. Chills, fatigue, fever, headache, joint pain and swelling. Muscle pain, rashes, swelling of the lymph nodes. Check. I don’t know if I’d. Swelling in the lymph nodes. Does did it say falling asleep? Like collapsing late stage Lyme?
00;38;16;14 – 00;38;36;01
Unknown
Late stage Lyme disease symptoms may appear days to months after the initial tick bite and may include, but are not limited to, additional rashes in new places on the body. No arthritis or joint pain and swelling, especially of large joints such as the knees on my knees and my hips and my ankles only when I’m getting sick. Correct.
00;38;36;04 – 00;38;57;00
Unknown
Dizziness and shortness of breath. Now stop it right now. You sure? You? Yes you do. You couldn’t even walk to the final soccer field. The other dog. Well, that’s that’s not because of Lyme disease. Well, that’s what you think. Facial palsy. Now heart palpitations, inflammation of the brain or spinal cord. Intermittent tendon muscle joint, nerve and bone pain.
00;38;57;00 – 00;39;17;17
Unknown
Headaches, stiffness anxiety. Paranoia. Yes. Fibromyalgia hallucinations. No, we’re not there yet. So anyway, I got this book for you. I got a lot of. Well, there’s a disclaimer. What’s that?
00;39;17;19 – 00;39;37;03
Unknown
The Lyme disease survivors around the globe, that’s who it’s dedicated to, not to your ex-wife. Oh, she feel about that? She’s a frickin, I have her on the line. She’s a she’s a writer. She’s she she’s she’s still living. She’s still alone. Alone. Because she is like, you know what? Congratulations on sticking with your best friend.
00;39;37;03 – 00;40;00;10
Unknown
The rest of us, we don’t do that to her. And Yolanda headed first sentence of the disclaimer. This book does not provide medical advice. Oh, all information obtained from this book is to be taken solely as advisory in nature. The author does not dispense medical or other professional advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of diagnosis or treatment for any physical, emotional or mental conditions.
00;40;00;12 – 00;40;29;02
Unknown
Informational purposes only. And how accurate is the information? Not sure. The author’s intent is only to offer information of an anecdotal and general nature that may be part of your loved ones quest for emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. He assumes no direct responsibility for the direct or indirect consequences, losses, incidental, special or consequential damages arising of, or in any way connected with the use of any content in this book.
00;40;29;04 – 00;40;50;16
Unknown
He should not be held legally, personally, financially liable for any actions while talk to your doctor. Am I reading this? Absolutely. And then I send it to you. My genetics and heavy metals. I mean, you talk about a lot of this stuff. So, you know, what’s interesting is my sister in law has limes and so does my nephew.
00;40;50;18 – 00;41;19;05
Unknown
And they I believe I don’t know this for a fact, but I believe they think she passed it on to him in utero. And it’s such a new disease, right. Like in the 80s, I think is when it was really discovered. And so they don’t really know a whole lot of information, but they’re pretty sure. But remember when he was had the Tourette’s and he was eating and like, all these things I know, they believe that’s what it was.
00;41;19;08 – 00;41;42;27
Unknown
Late stage. Late stage Lyme. Yes. Yes. But they never even knew he had because he was a baby. Never got bit by attack. That was passed off. I now, the other problem is that when, if, if and when a tick bites you, they don’t always exhibit the rash, right. Which means if you don’t catch it now, they they claim I caught it in time to quote unquote, heal some of the long term effects.
00;41;42;29 – 00;42;04;03
Unknown
But I will always love of that. It’s just that’s a thing. So, and it is 100% fact that after you got bit by that tick, even though you caught it early, you got the bullseye rash you got on the whatever, whatever the the drugs, the hardcore drugs that you’re supposed to get or for that, I think I did two rounds, two rounds of it.
00;42;04;08 – 00;42;27;04
Unknown
Right. Still, to this day, your system has never, ever been the same. No, no. And I still test positive for it. Yeah. When I have bloodwork and I’m telling you. So all jokes aside, right. And I and you found this book and genuinely was like, oh my God, I really just need to read that. It was a little bit of the story that got low key for me, where I was like, she was like, basically I had to leave her and I have a new wife.
00;42;27;04 – 00;42;51;02
Unknown
I’m like, let’s hope she has a good freaking life. But but if you think about it, had I not caught that, I know, I wouldn’t know what it was. And then you you eventually. I know better. It just. Yeah, it’s really scary. And I got it in my swimming pool. Right. I’m convinced that’s where I got it from, because when I, I there’s no nothing around like it.
00;42;51;05 – 00;43;15;24
Unknown
I know I don’t, I don’t, you know, I do have TSD though I, I really struggle with going into woods and things like that because it makes me very nervous. It is, it is a fear that I have. We were in Carter’s pediatrician recently, and there was a sign that said that he could participate in a, Lyme vaccine trial, and I, like, hit or miss on it.
00;43;15;24 – 00;43;33;05
Unknown
Right. Yeah. I don’t I don’t love vaccine trials, especially for kids. But the other part of me is I’m scared to death of Lyme. I’m scared to death of ticks and live in all of that wooded area back there. All you need is for June to bring one in. I know that’s all you need is. So I found one on my mailer once.
00;43;33;05 – 00;44;00;10
Unknown
I don’t have animals, I go outside. You found one on your pillow? Yeah. While you had. While you were getting treated for shingles. And it was potentially gotten bit again I had to go in for a full but it was, it was I was beside myself. I’m like and so one of our family friends, her son has lyme’s and I also know someone I went to college with who has lyme’s.
00;44;00;10 – 00;44;21;10
Unknown
It has wreaked havoc and they’ve gone to all of these specialists. We just don’t know enough about it. But what it does to people is on real well. I think people think they’re the precautions are don’t go into high grass, right. Don’t go do it. You know, if you’re going to go hiking in the woods, wear long sleeves, whatever.
00;44;21;10 – 00;44;43;16
Unknown
Check yourself. Whatever. Whatever. Right. Like great. That’s nice. But it didn’t happen to me in that environment. Happened to me in a goddamn swimming pool in my backyard. That is pretty open. I don’t even have a tree. I know. So where I know, did it come from? I know, I know, so scary. But I know. But I’ve seen firsthand your body has not been the same since then.
00;44;43;16 – 00;45;04;09
Unknown
No, has not been the same. It’s like a it’s almost like your body sat dormant on this potential autoimmune. And then all of a sudden this tick came along and was like, hey, they’re autoimmune. Let’s be best friends. And, but what didn’t help is I got Covid within one year. Yeah. And then I think that exacerbated a lot of it.
00;45;04;09 – 00;45;21;03
Unknown
I mean, going back to our cruise when I got super sick, right. We knew you were going to get super sick. You didn’t have the same symptoms. I did, when when I finally started to get sick, when I was in the airport, which I think were pretty positive, was the flu. At this point, I am pretty sure it was not Covid because I tested.
00;45;21;04 – 00;45;45;21
Unknown
I have not been that tired or, unreal out of it in a sense. I had Covid when I did have Covid, my primary symptom was pregnancy. Tired, right? Yeah. And I remember thinking, if I feel like this, I could still function minimally. I could walk through the airport. You know, I didn’t, it was it was a lot.
00;45;45;24 – 00;46;11;05
Unknown
But I remember thinking, if I feel like this as a healthy person who is not immunocompromised, doesn’t have autoimmune whatever, I cannot imagine how much that it’s swept you out for a week at least. Well, when we were on the boat, I couldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom. I was, it was not okay.
00;46;11;07 – 00;46;28;19
Unknown
And I was, you know, I mean, it was not okay. I know it was so bad you had to pack my suitcase. It was really, really bad. You were not interested in eating. You wanted to deal with sleep. You could barely get up to go to the bathroom. Barely. Yeah. It was. It was bad, I know, and it was just the joint.
00;46;28;19 – 00;46;49;12
Unknown
Is the joint pain. And that’s why I couldn’t get up. Because the the active sitting up and then physically walking somewhere was so painful in me. Now, I also didn’t help that we were on a ship that didn’t even have Tylenol or ibuprofen. And I know, look to remember. Yes. Now, if I had had access to that kind of stuff, I probably would have been able to get through it a little bit better.
00;46;49;14 – 00;47;09;22
Unknown
I mean, right on the edge off a little. But but it was you were incapacitated and you ain’t going to no infirmary because if you got the vid probably going to be quarantined to the I know they’re leaving you. And so I’m like, we can’t, we can’t, we can’t go there because we’re screwed. So yeah, it was not it was not good.
00;47;09;24 – 00;47;33;26
Unknown
Dude. I not good at all. But it just gives me so much, you know, talk about empathy. When I think about people with fibromyalgia, when I think about people watching rheumatoid, you’re not creative. Oh, what do you mean? I think there’s people out there that don’t think that’s real. I think they think it’s a mental health thing. Not not a physical body, or they’re making it bigger than it is because you can’t see it.
00;47;34;01 – 00;47;52;24
Unknown
Yeah. You know, same with like arthritis. I mean, people kind of look at that about your flu incident as well. Right? You know, it could have been like oh I don’t. Yeah. All right. So now granted granted we were in on a cruise ship. I was coughing and sneezing post-Covid. People don’t want to even be anywhere near that.
00;47;52;25 – 00;48;14;20
Unknown
Yeah. So you know, but rheumatoid arthritis is a great example. You know, just this chronic pain that I think about. I have, one friend whose father struggles with just such chronic pain that every single day he’s in massive amounts of pain. I don’t like when I am sick. I for three days. I don’t like being sick for 12.
00;48;14;20 – 00;48;45;15
Unknown
I’m like, nope, this isn’t it. I, you know, I’m just at my my absolute. I remember recently Carter was sick both ends and he was like, what’s it going to stop now? You want to wait the worst, right. And all I can think is that’s that’s one day. These are people who have to wake up every single day in chronic pain and still push through and, well, how about people who are going through chemotherapy, which is basically you’re poisoning the poison.
00;48;45;17 – 00;49;08;19
Unknown
You have to get sicker to get better. It’s so sad. I now so sad. And then imagine not having disability or not having insurance. And you got to suck it up and go to work and like live your life and be them. Oh my God, it’s so sad. So so grateful for granted. Until we can’t anymore because it’s right there in our face, right?
00;49;08;19 – 00;49;26;20
Unknown
So sad. But anyway, this man wrote this good. Can’t wait for you, this book or movie. I’m going to do a version of the report, and I’m going to tell you what I think. I’m going to give you the book report on this book report. I’m already prepared. Gluten free. You’ve told me that forever. I know this is pretty much no more wine.
00;49;26;20 – 00;49;47;17
Unknown
I know, I know, gluten free. No more wine. Dairy free? Yep. But dairy free. I’m okay with I. Can I avoid that? And anyway, yeah, that’s talk about diarrhea. Yeah I know, yeah. Right. Yeah. Avoid. Yeah. Ever sell some ice cream. Yeah. Oh no no no we don’t eat ice cream. Everybody in my family knows I’m like, can I have a scoop of ice cream.
00;49;47;17 – 00;50;04;28
Unknown
They’re like, no, no, no, you may not. It’s nothing. You might as well. We do not know. Thanks, Mark. I don’t know what it is. Is it could you get me some cheese curds at the star? Oh, they were out again. I don’t know what happened there. Sorry. They always happen to be out when you want it. It’s incredible.
00;50;05;01 – 00;50;20;05
Unknown
Well anyway that was basically my last week. Yeah. It was it was pretty intense. But I got a little. Did you fly back home on the day that it was all I had to drive back because we had the, the guy, we had the car. You would have been in that massive global outage because of Microsoft.
00;50;20;08 – 00;50;42;08
Unknown
Yeah. Oh my god my internet like the whole last week was all messed up you know all messed up. And that’s the beginning of the end. Holy crap. I’m like I can’t even it was like 50% of zoom would be working. But you couldn’t hear anything. But then none of my Google Docs would open. And then now I have 5000 alerts on my phone saying someone’s hacked into your Microsoft.
00;50;42;11 – 00;50;57;01
Unknown
I’m like, what? What do you want? My word document. Yeah, right. Yeah. Go ahead, help yourself. Take all your back. Can you update them I know like it’s like go out. Oh you’re in there. Come on. You know, do a couple things. So I don’t even know if they’re real or I don’t know. It’s so weird. You know what it is the election.
00;50;57;03 – 00;51;13;22
Unknown
Yeah. That’s right. Taking it all down. Taking it all down. That’s right. The happy view, is the four ones. Okay. Which is a little liar. I’m not. I don’t know if this is relevant. I don’t think we’ve had this one. A little turtle, that turtle at, like, he’s just ready for. Do you see what. They’re some relaxation.
00;51;13;23 – 00;51;34;25
Unknown
What is that? It’s a blue glass. It’s a blue glass. A blue glass of water. Yeah, that’s a water reacts. All right. So just what he ordered. Yeah. And it says, welcome to your personal spring where you are, where your endless slog through god awful, boring days is finally coming to an end. So roll out the champagne canons and buy yourself a greeting card.
00;51;35;03 – 00;51;54;03
Unknown
This is the moment to celebrate all of your accomplishments and relish in the beauty of a happy, stable life. You’ve come through tough times, but you can rest easy for a while on your metaphysical patio furniture. Whatever it is, you did it. So congratulations! Wherever you are on whatever you’ve done, however you’ve managed to do it, the cosmic rays are shining on you.
00;51;54;03 – 00;52;17;11
Unknown
The metaphors don’t adhere to earthly schedules, so feel free to bask in the glow as long as you want. This is absolutely for you in your is a crazy week. So here’s your affirmation I love myself, I honor myself, and I celebrate myself. Now I pronounce me myself and self. I know you love these posts dope and I’m so stupid.
00;52;17;14 – 00;52;38;10
Unknown
So you know you had to go through the slime to get to the to the beauty, to the beauty of your vacation. The beauty of my not going blind. All right, congratulations on that, by the way. And congratulations on not having shingles. I don’t have shingles. Throw away that shit right now. I do not have Lyme, but now I have a better way of supporting you.
00;52;38;15 – 00;53;13;24
Unknown
Thank you. All through Lyme, through all the things I have empathy for people who have known terrible conditions. I know it’s awful. And the last thing I will say before we end for today, that I said to you and Scott last night, I think it’s important to tell our, our listeners, is that one of the victories that I think we can can talk about is sometimes you decide that you want to move forward with something and you want to do something, and then when you get into that thing that you are doing, you realize this is a lot.
00;53;13;26 – 00;53;48;22
Unknown
And I don’t know if this is the place that I’m at in my life right now where I can commit to this level. And so what I will say about this trip, when you have a very long time in the car with, one of your best friends having these really great conversations is that in the conversations, many of them that I was having with Rene, one of the things that came up was as a strong empath, I always sort of follow what feels right or feels like it should be happening in that particular moment, whatever makes other people feel good, because that also will make me feel good.
00;53;48;25 – 00;54;03;13
Unknown
And then when I’m in it, I sometimes think to myself, I don’t know if this is really making me feel good, or if this is the thing that I want to do right where I’m at in that particular journey. But is that okay? Is that something I should continue or not continue it? No harm, no foul, you know?
00;54;03;13 – 00;54;30;08
Unknown
Yeah, some weeks are harder than others, but I just do it right. And one of the questions that Renee said to me is, as an empath, it’s incredibly important that you ask yourself, where are you and what do you want and what ignites your soul? Because one of the trauma responses that empaths have is that we want so deeply to be seen and loved and cared about by so many other people that we will do anything to be seen and cared about and loved by other people.
00;54;30;10 – 00;54;50;25
Unknown
This is my long way of saying that one of the realizations that I had when I was in the car on the way home is that you, me, and Scott all ventured out into this subscription service that I think we really enjoyed. A lot of the stuff that we have been doing with the subscription service. And I also think it’s safe to say and weigh in on this too.
00;54;50;25 – 00;55;13;10
Unknown
Scott, the subscription service is a lot of work. When you talk about the different categories of people, each category needs a different amount of things. We got to do a newsletter every single month that needs to be created and reviewed and then pushed out, and then an empathy deck that is being created. And then when it comes to a guest interview, no joke.
00;55;13;10 – 00;55;29;17
Unknown
I don’t know how long it takes on your side, Scott, but it was taking me probably close to an hour and a half to review every single guest interview to figure out what’s a highlight. Where does it stop? Where to other people get brought in right? The easy part is coming in here and socializing, right? That’s that’s right.
00;55;29;17 – 00;55;52;19
Unknown
Easy. Absolutely. We don’t even plan. We just we just talk for 55 minutes about lives, disease and ex-wives. It’s right. Right. That’s that’s the easy part. And so when I listen to that card, I, when I think a little bit about the subscription service, what was really coming up for me was this feeling of, I love this podcast so much because all we do is come in and shoot the shit and talk about cool things.
00;55;52;19 – 00;56;11;04
Unknown
And yeah, could we tighten it up a little bit and have more of a cadence in what we’re doing? No, we’re going to talk about. Absolutely. But for two people who just literally talked into a microphone for the first time one year ago and now have over 110 episodes of a podcast, we are right. You know, we’re doing all right.
00;56;11;06 – 00;56;30;14
Unknown
But when it came time for this subscription, what I realized specifically for me at the end of the day was it wasn’t bringing me the level of joy that the podcast brought me. It was bringing me more work and more a subscription plus subscription piecing. It was bringing me more work or more feelings of like, I got to keep track of that.
00;56;30;14 – 00;56;53;06
Unknown
And what about this? And is this happening on this scent? And did I do this and did I do it right? And what did it say? And it just wasn’t becoming as much fun for me as what we started all journeying in together. So to that end, I had written a text message to Scott and Rebecca last night and said, nothing that we’ve done here has been lost.
00;56;53;06 – 00;57;16;07
Unknown
We now have great tiered systems. We now know that when we get to a place in the podcast where let’s say we have 100,000 followers and we’re like, yeah, you know, maybe people do want some extra content, or maybe we’re in a place where we can dedicate more time and energy to just the podcast, as opposed to 16 other jobs that you know you have on the side, and that I’m trying to work different things on my side.
00;57;16;07 – 00;57;35;25
Unknown
And Scott and as many clients that maybe we get to a point where we say, this doesn’t feel like so much work. It actually just feels like an encompassing of us growing with the podcast, which is becoming a bigger part of our lives. And so I think you are both in agreement that what we are going to do from here forward is put the subscription service on hold.
00;57;35;26 – 00;57;51;13
Unknown
Some of you are going to be really happy about that because it means you don’t have to worry about, am I on this subscription or that subscription? You’re just going to get all of this awesome content for free again, and sort of get back to the basics of, why did we start this podcast? What do we want to share with the world?
00;57;51;13 – 00;58;11;16
Unknown
How do we put that content out there for people, and then how do we keep growing and learning along the way without the extra stress and extra steps associated with what does it mean to have a podcast? And then how do you essentially turn that podcast into a business? Maybe we just let it be for a little bit and let it ride.
00;58;11;20 – 00;58;30;25
Unknown
Yeah. How do I get Rebecca to stay in one spot so I can frame? I mean, that is a full time job, Scott. That’s if we’re being honest. How do we get to just be framed on screen? And she’s just on bottom like bottom left hand corner. Look how little she looks today. So, you know, today I’m not wearing my high shoes.
00;58;30;25 – 00;58;46;25
Unknown
I’m wearing a flat shoes. And I can’t touch the ground way up. No I can’t I don’t need to figure out a better seat for you. We can do that. Really? Yeah, it’s one of those. It’s one of the ones from, the little kid shows that is, like, really, really, really tall. And then she looks like this little mini person.
00;58;46;25 – 00;59;04;05
Unknown
I’m the chair. Need. I need a stool on the bottom. Yeah. All right, we’ll fill this hilarious for yourself. Next time I’m going to be. It’s you. We are. We clear? No matter what you do, it’s not going to matter. And you can’t. We can hang like a really like from the ceiling. Like it? Like a hammock. Oh yeah.
00;59;04;07 – 00;59;24;18
Unknown
You can dangle out and then it would be rocking. You know, that’s exactly what her. It’s just rock back and forth the entire time. I can’t sit still guys. It’s not my. It’s not my forte. It’s fine. So bottom line podcast is continuing. We’re still coming in and doing our episodes. We’re still pushing content out to you all.
00;59;24;18 – 00;59;45;16
Unknown
We’ll still have some occasional random, ridiculous videos that we will do, but we are join our, Facebook page. Yeah, our Facebook page is active. Yeah, Facebook page has about 100 if not a little bit more people in it right now, which is great. And that between that and between, we also have an Instagram, where a lot of like our highlight video clips are.
00;59;45;16 – 01;00;05;11
Unknown
Oh yeah. Yeah. So between that our Facebook page and then just our YouTube channel and pushing stuff out on all of the different podcast channels, that’s what we’re going to be focusing on for the next. Whoever knows how long and then what will be will be. And I think the goal, the the message here is set out to do something.
01;00;05;11 – 01;00;28;07
Unknown
And then if you decide that it’s just not it or you’re just not feeling it, or it’s just changing the course of something that you really love to do, it’s okay to say, let me go back to that right now. That’s right. And we can figure it out. And then if we watch, one thing I figured out is that we, you know, first of all, if if we had, like you said, 100,000 followers and people were jumping on the subscription thing, it would be a different kind of thing because we’d be revitalized.
01;00;28;07 – 01;00;46;28
Unknown
We’d be like, this is awesome. People are loving this. Let’s keep doing it. Yeah. Right now it’s like, hey, how’d that video go over? I don’t know, right? Yeah. I don’t think anyone cared or anyone watched it or whatever. Yeah. Or Renee, what Britney said was, I’m your number one fan. I have not been able to open the newsletter to read it because I’ve just been so busy.
01;00;46;28 – 01;01;05;13
Unknown
Yeah, she’s I get if I’m not reading the newsletter, then I’m your number one fan. I promise you, I am all up in what you guys are doing. But here’s the other thing. Because we don’t have the number of listeners, it’s because there’s we don’t have a promotion strategy. There’s not, you know, we’re not pushing in it. This is all organic.
01;01;05;13 – 01;01;23;19
Unknown
We’ve grown to almost 5000 people organically just by being who we are and pushing that out there. Imagine if we had someone who said, I’d love to do some promotion work for you, right? We’ll take that. We’ll take you up on that all day. Right. But just the amount of time and effort and energy and I listen to some of these other podcasts.
01;01;23;19 – 01;01;41;26
Unknown
And one of the ones we were blaring at 4:00 in the morning because we were trying to stay awake, blaring, slash critiquing. Well, I was critiquing it because I was listening to it and I thought, y’all have almost a million listeners, and the stars are good there. And Arnett says, I tell you that I know it ain’t it.
01;01;41;29 – 01;02;01;08
Unknown
Congratulations. I’m not going to down on your podcast. I know, good for you. I mean, clearly you’re doing something right, but I know there’s something about certain podcasts that I just can’t I don’t know what it is. A lot of them, it was the timing. It was when they came out. It was something that happened that just happened to click at the right time.
01;02;01;08 – 01;02;17;26
Unknown
That’s a good point too. And and, you know, you get used to listening to it and there’s your people and it might not be the best one ever. Yeah. But that’s just what you happen to pick up at the time because someone told you about it and it just happened to, you know, like organic with us. Yeah. Yeah.
01;02;17;29 – 01;02;35;03
Unknown
The right people picked up on it or whatever, or some one person shared it and that was it. Yeah. And that’s all it really takes with this. That’s right. That’s true. But but you know, we do have, with, with this test run of the Supercars thing, we figured out that that we can we can do it.
01;02;35;10 – 01;02;55;07
Unknown
That’s right. Well, and it’s built. That’s right. It’s built. It’s built. Oh, that’s really good. Yeah. And we can always pick it back up. That’s right. We’re not deleting it. That’s what I mean about nothing is lost. We have the subscriptions. We know some tweaks that we would do. We have the content. We now have the schedule. We have a content calendar about when you’re supposed to push out what right.
01;02;55;07 – 01;03;12;18
Unknown
It can be picked up at any moment. The reality is I don’t want to come to the podcast and feel that the podcast is more work than it is fun, when it’s the one thing that is bringing me right some really exciting joy to just come in and do it right, you know? And I was starting to feel that way.
01;03;12;18 – 01;03;26;27
Unknown
I was starting to feel like it was work and it was bogging me down. And I was like, oh my gosh, I got to do this, and I got to do that. And well, especially when your to do list is becoming larger and larger and plus we’re at a point I mean, this is summer, right. Like we have we don’t have that cadence of the kids being in school.
01;03;26;27 – 01;03;44;00
Unknown
We have more things going on. My my day is extra jam packed now because you got to get the kid here, one kid there, summer camp, birthday parties. I mean, this is the time everybody shoves it all in. Oh, and then guess what? Vacations are coming up. Which means, okay, now we’re offline for another ten days. Right? And now we’re behind.
01;03;44;00 – 01;04;01;21
Unknown
And, no, I’m not going to work on vacation. I know, like, it’s just it’s a lot, right? It’s a lot. But what a beautiful gift, I think, to give to people to say you can put something out in the universe and tell people that you’re going to do it, and then you can do it, and then you can decide this isn’t the right time to do it, because it just doesn’t feel like where we want to be.
01;04;01;22 – 01;04;23;26
Unknown
Yeah. And then pull that back and do something different. Yep. And if this podcast ultimately is all right, while we’re doing all of these different sessions during the week, and then we have a week or two where we’re not producing, you know, a podcast. What a nice little reminder that balance matters, right? And that what happens outside of life is equally, if not more important than what all of this looks like, right?
01;04;23;29 – 01;04;43;28
Unknown
It’s just it was a little reset for me that I felt really good about being able to step into my empathy and say, I love this so much. And I in fact, I love it so much that I don’t want it to become another job. Yeah, I don’t want it to become something that I then grow to be like, did this happen?
01;04;43;28 – 01;05;02;09
Unknown
Did we do this yet? Has this been posted? What about this? I gotta do a job. It’s no good, right? Yeah. So let’s just keep it as a passion a little bit longer and enjoy it. And I just so you know, it is a job for me. Yeah. It kind of is my. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Kind of sorry.
01;05;02;12 – 01;05;33;04
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah yeah. And it’s and it’s actually nice to, not to, to do stuff and get paid for it. So you know yeah that whole all the, all the subscription stuff is really it’s an investment of all of us. Right, right. And there’s also something to be said about. And this happens in every early stage startup when you go from 0 to 100 really quickly because the ideas are there in the momentum is there in the passion is there, and then you realize after you’ve hit this wall where you were like, Holy cow, I’m legit running a whole nother business on top of a business.
01;05;33;04 – 01;05;51;17
Unknown
Yep. On top of right. And I know that’s true for you, Scott, because you’re already running a business, and now you’re like, here’s a mini business inside of my business that’s taking up, you know, a lot. And so I think what we did really well, really, really well, the three of us, is that we constantly communicated through it and gave each other the benefit of the doubt.
01;05;51;20 – 01;06;10;00
Unknown
Right? So if we were just like, oh, well, I don’t know why this is not getting done, we were like, hey, this isn’t getting done and why, right? We were short. Like, we certainly got frustrated with each other as certain points, but how many times when I traded with you guys? Yeah, I don’t I don’t recall getting frustrated with each other.
01;06;10;02 – 01;06;31;28
Unknown
Seriously, I never get frustrated with you guys. I just misread your frustration because when you see my camera doesn’t work and I objects, correct? Yeah. And I’m so empathic. I’m like, Scott’s mad at me again. No, no not yeah. Or I’m like, you know, he’s mad at you, right? Because you can handle it. I can’t. So it’s okay.
01;06;32;00 – 01;06;48;28
Unknown
And I’ve never been even remotely perturbed that either one of you ever. Oh that’s nice, but yeah, nice little reminder for everyone out there. It’s okay to jump headfirst into something and say that you want to do it, then decide it’s not for you, and then decide if we’re going to put that on hold for a little while.
01;06;48;29 – 01;07;08;24
Unknown
You know, going what we’re going to we’re going to pause. Everyone, take a pause, look at that point. I’m going to pause. Pause. I’m going to pause, pause all of this. We’re going to pause. I literally it is still got it’s still on my desk waiting. We’re still gonna watch. We’re still pausing. And I will read you today’s affirmation card.
01;07;08;24 – 01;07;37;15
Unknown
As a closing note, I know that I do not need to wait for 5 p.m. on Friday to be happy. I am happy, right? Damn now that’s right. Oh, yeah. Have a good day, I loved that. Me too. It is an empathy. Amazing. Well we’re amazing. I don’t know about all that sympathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are.
01;07;37;21 – 01;08;01;20
Unknown
Oh, God, I love you. I love you too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the power of empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.