00;00;00;00 – 00;00;15;09
Unknown
And so then who do I call? Rebecca? All the way. All the way from town. All the way from Texas. She calls me. She’s like, we got a situation. Yeah. And what did I say? You’re panicking. I think that Russ is dead. Yes. She’s. She tells me the whole story, and I’m just listening. She said she’s supposed to pick me up.
00;00;15;09 – 00;00;31;12
Unknown
It’s been 45 minutes. I’m so concerned. I called his phone, went to voicemail. Is what you said okay? And I said okay. And then you said, I think he’s in an accident. I’m like, wow, okay. All right. Why would you think that? And you’re like, because he left early. Early and he’s still not here. And I’m really concerned.
00;00;31;12 – 00;00;51;11
Unknown
I said, there could be lots of reasons why he’s not there. Give him a minute. He might be on the phone. He owns a business. Yeah, there might be a situation that he’s handling. Just relax. And we’re at the airport. What did I say?
00;00;51;13 – 00;01;16;14
Unknown
Hey, it’s me. Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. I love money, darling. Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast.
00;01;16;16 – 00;01;46;22
Unknown
A podcast about what our life, our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Oh, yay! I love this and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay. Yeah. So, Scott keeps playing the intro. So Scott told us, people basically said people hate the intro.
00;01;46;26 – 00;02;03;26
Unknown
That’s what I heard him say. That’s okay. He basically said, they hate the intro. So you don’t want anything to do with the intro until they start listening to the intro and they’re all excited about your podcast. And then three seconds into the intro, they’re like, screw this when doing this anymore. Well, it’s like it’s like commercials are it’s like, you know, when they do the beginning of a show, you’re like, I don’t need to see this.
00;02;03;26 – 00;02;28;05
Unknown
Every skip intro. It’s like every Netflix show. But anyway, you didn’t want to get rid of the intro. So we decided that we were going to play a teaser before the intro, which is what we’re doing now. Is it working? I don’t know. It didn’t work for me. When I listen to the podcast last week, because I kept pushing the back 15 seconds, back 15 seconds, because I’m like, I missed the intro.
00;02;28;08 – 00;02;46;07
Unknown
I missed I was starting in the middle of the damn podcast. What is happening? Push to push the narrative. Urgent to give feedback. Like I’m like, damn it. What’s going on? So then I go and I’m like, all right, well, I mean, I gotta tell Scott that we started the podcast in the middle this time, but maybe he did that on purpose.
00;02;46;09 – 00;03;08;11
Unknown
So then it goes to this point where I say, you guys got to hear this. So and then it goes, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. And I’m like, oh. And you go, genius. Oh, we put that. We put we put the intro, not intro. That’s all we did. So I get here today, Rebecca’s like, oh, we still play in the intro.
00;03;08;14 – 00;03;40;27
Unknown
I thought we weren’t playing the intro. And I said, yeah. Scott said, no one likes the intro. Screw your intro. Jo Jo put it halfway into the middle of the frickin podcast that I can. Hi, Cho, can you hear us? You can’t hear Jo right now, is it? Hi, Jo. Hi, Jo. Hey, hey, hey. Oh. My goodness, guys, I, I mean, rare form I know today.
00;03;40;28 – 00;04;02;12
Unknown
Today. It’s okay. It’s Monday night. We getting our period soon. I already got mine. Mine’s over. Oh. So my mine’s coming in real quick because I am I. This is how I know that I’m not my best self. I myself talk or like the talk. Not my self talk about myself. Because that’s pretty. Because your internal narrators here, you’re bringing.
00;04;02;12 – 00;04;29;11
Unknown
Narrator. Mainframe. Narrator. Says things that she does not usually say. For instance, today I walked and walked down the steps of the podcast, turned the corner and saw that bench sitting there, and my internal narrator said, the fuck’s that bench doing there? They’re going to notice a piece. What do you mean? There’s a new bench? I brought that from home because we didn’t have any room for it, so I didn’t know that that was my inside.
00;04;29;11 – 00;04;52;03
Unknown
Narrator. Voice. That’s how the fuck’s that bench do in there? That doesn’t go there. I can’t, I can’t. And then I was like, whoa, whoa whoa, easy there, girl. Easy there, easy there. But that should happen. Been not a place. No I don’t know if I got I got out of my car. I looked at the car next to me, parked like a jack wagon.
00;04;52;06 – 00;05;13;28
Unknown
And was it me? Like, no. And I was like, I ain’t parks like this. And then. And then legit gets out of their car and thinks, okay, we’ll just leave it like that. Busy. Like you’re half in and out of the parking spot. You’re you’re at an angle. Oh, wait, you go out, see, right on angled spot. Now listen, those people don’t even look to see how they parked there.
00;05;14;00 – 00;05;31;28
Unknown
We just get out. I’m out of here. Oh, it’s totally me. But I will say, I usually park nobody else. Respect. Oh well, fine. Yeah. So like far away, you know. Yeah. It’s fine. Nobody. If people have an opinion about this just because that whole thing is felt. I get out of my car, open the door, shut the door.
00;05;31;28 – 00;05;56;02
Unknown
Turn around. Look at the car on the other side of me. There’s just shit everywhere in this person’s car. What do I think to myself? You fucking slob again. Internal narrator. Well, she is not happy right now. She is feisty. She is annoyed at everyone. It’s okay. She. You know what doesn’t like how people are running their lives?
00;05;56;05 – 00;06;30;16
Unknown
She has no remorse. Do you remember when I called you? It was it Friday at our 7 a.m. talks and you’re like, what are you doing? I said, I am asking Marianne to create us a television show, and we spent the next 30 minutes designing our animated logo of what we look like, and the renditions are hilarious. And part of the show was that we school people in how to live their lives better.
00;06;30;19 – 00;06;47;27
Unknown
We have, we have, what was the we have these parties that are called. Oh, I can’t remember what they were called. Oh, it’s in your thing. The party. We have these parties that we bring you over, and then we tell you exactly how you should live your life. We like. Okay, Ronnie Scott does zoom in on this, so she speaks to Marianne.
00;06;47;27 – 00;07;12;27
Unknown
You guys will remember that Marianne is our favorite employee, also known as. And, Rebecca paid the extra $20 a month to get the vector files. Sure never heard it. So she basically asks that create a TV show for us. And so the TV show is called Best Friends for real. And then she goes into this whole thing about like, what we do together.
00;07;12;27 – 00;07;33;28
Unknown
Basically, it’s exactly what we want to do in life, which is to go to all these the antique shops and to, oh my God. My favorite one was it said on this episode, the girls have $50 to spend on an entire room redesign while at the thrift store. Rebecca can’t let it go that she will not leave without this ceramic horse.
00;07;34;00 – 00;08;01;12
Unknown
And there it is. Tried to give it to bread. Not going to be practical and spend the money appropriately. I just imagine you in this stupid ass ceramic course and I’m like, this is turned into a lamp. We say it’s multi-functional. Oh my God. So okay, so anyway, we tell it to please create a logo. Was it or like I don’t remember it was for the like the cover album.
00;08;01;12 – 00;08;24;10
Unknown
Basically it was what our show is. So Rebecca inputs to her credit correct information about who we are as people. Right. And this is the first one that it produces. Okay. There’s even this. Yeah. Okay. Just so we’re clear, I’m the one here in the purple. It’s the one with the honkers. That’s their with with the red hair.
00;08;24;11 – 00;08;48;10
Unknown
Right. The big boobs. Red. What? I said absolutely true. I said how what did you put input from my weight there. Because. Not even close. Not okay. Not even close. So she’s like okay. All right. That’s not it. Let me tell her to do something else. So she’s like Marianne, let me do whatever second version comes up. It’s this one.
00;08;48;11 – 00;09;12;28
Unknown
I’m not back is dying. Why are you anime characters? I don’t know, like, oh my God, that who wants it now? This is boho whimsy. Dream catcher, you know, voodoo doll. Someone’s reading some some vibes here. Yeah. We have. We are in Costa Rica. We look like Barbie dolls. Yeah, we had the tax, right. So I’m like that.
00;09;12;28 – 00;09;34;24
Unknown
That it is. You still have brown hair even though I’m very clear. Yeah. Two blonds. Yeah. Yeah two blonds. One short, one has big boobs is exactly what I said. Right. But big boobs apparently means it also means 400 pounds with red hair, massive honkers. So that I was like, no, no, no input. This this is this is what I’m going to say.
00;09;34;24 – 00;09;58;14
Unknown
So I put in a whole bunch of words like you type it in the right number, and this is what this is what comes up. Oh, it’s black. This is who we are. Yep. Here. Yep. Okay. I now have black hair as well with blond highlights. I look like I’m on an episode of Elvira. Black lipstick. What? Rebecca still looking at the set for Rebecca.
00;09;58;14 – 00;10;16;21
Unknown
She’s all set here. I’m verbatim putting in what she says, and then I. And then finally we’re like, you know what? Blend the two, right, Marianne. Right. Bring us both and show us this is what we end up with. And then this is the final version. Still not it. Still not black hair. I am skunk in it. Out.
00;10;16;22 – 00;10;27;00
Unknown
Not sure why Rebecca looks like Rachel from friends is. And then here’s what it says. Here’s what it says on the thing.
00;10;27;02 – 00;10;54;21
Unknown
Bow lights, low lights, low lights. Like the second, but not different to on ribboned. That’s what it says the randomly in the background. If you want elves in real, that’s real. Like super, y’all, I don’t know. I mean, maybe we need to up our prices for the $20 maybe isn’t working right? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I don’t know.
00;10;54;21 – 00;11;18;14
Unknown
It’s not. It. But this is this is the typical conversation in the morning for us. Hey. And because my internal narrator is not at her best place, this is what happens when Rebecca’s talking to me. Yeah. She’s like, oh, my God. It’s no joke. It’s A705 in the morning, right? And she’s like, oh my God. So I’ve been up all morning and I was doing this and I created this for Sawyer and this, this, this, this, this.
00;11;18;18 – 00;11;40;07
Unknown
And so I thought I kind of create that for me. And Aaron in my intern on the narrator says she has so many things to do. Why the hell is she spending any amount of time? I know on creating a fake TV show with our logos makes me happy. I just want to have fun. That’s my internal narrator happy.
00;11;40;09 – 00;12;00;09
Unknown
But then as I as we continue to go along, my internal narrator gets a little bit more on board. And then this is how I dress, you and I. And then. And then I start to. I just have to be able to intellectualize it. So then, like I’m saying, my internal air, you’re saying things like fun is a part of life.
00;12;00;12 – 00;12;22;23
Unknown
It’s okay to take a break sometimes. Like I got so much shit to do and you have so much shit to do. And I’m so anxious for both of us. And I’m like, what a great bonding moment. Yeah, but the best part is I’m looking homeless in the same clothes from three days doing this. You are in the shower, you in the shower, literally, because you have to go through your routine.
00;12;22;24 – 00;12;38;14
Unknown
And I just, I know I have to be somewhere in 15 minutes, but I gotta get this out. That’s it. I need to get a TV show out of my head. Yeah, yeah. And here I’m just talking myself through it to make sure that I can make the mental space to be in the same journey with you. Yeah.
00;12;38;16 – 00;13;00;12
Unknown
Most classics, it’s just you never know. Like this eject button over. Right? Know? I know, it’s like it’s called like. Like you said, it’s called couple jacked. That’s funny. This is big. This is a real big deal here, Scott. This is like no I can’t. Oh, oh you moved it in the movie I was Scott hates that. Scott is so mad.
00;13;00;12 – 00;13;22;02
Unknown
I just did that. Boop boop. He hates it. He’s so mad. He’s so mad. The mute button works. Boom. No, no, no, you don’t. You like it? I’m not. You feel good about it? Of course. Yeah, right. The more toys that that make this podcast studio better. I mean, the studio. I sent you a picture of what I bought.
00;13;22;05 – 00;13;37;26
Unknown
The chair. Okay. All right, let’s shoot. That was that. That was a HomeGoods. I was gonna say it. Sure. Shit was not a Hobby Lobby. No, I was it was a full on tear it like, you know, a little kid. Sawyer found it, and she goes, mom, you need this. I’m like, you’re right. I’m gonna send that to Aaron.
00;13;37;26 – 00;13;53;25
Unknown
I’m Scott on my butt. This I bought this, and then we all immediately knew you didn’t because you don’t have any money. True. It’s true, it’s true. Scott and I are both like, I got recreate it with my, Amazon. Yeah. Boxes. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. In your cricket that you already gave up. I know, I know that less than 30s.
00;13;53;29 – 00;14;18;12
Unknown
All right, so this is somewhat related to what I thought maybe we could talk about today after we do some hippie ville. Okay, so it got this internal narrator, right? She comes out sometimes. She’s definitely a version of myself that is much less empathic, much more critical, much more judgmental. And then, related to that, I went to the Mr. Gay America pageant in Texas last week, and, I was there.
00;14;18;13 – 00;14;44;12
Unknown
What? Mr.. Gay America. Yeah. As the contestant just kind of just kidding. Just kidding. Hey. What’s that? Come on and whip it out. It’s time. It’s time. Honey. So she’s an expert. Tucker, were you, like, a judge or like I. Oh, I sure as shit was just not officially. Okay. It’s not really clear. I just want to be real clear.
00;14;44;15 – 00;15;05;10
Unknown
But that’s what I want to talk about today. So I’m at Mr. Gay America. I’m with Darnell, Darnell’s boyfriend. Russ, wait. Can we go there? Can we talk about what happened when you got to the airport? Oh, I need I just need a little context before you continue. Okay. Sorry. Oh, cause a very, very good friend. Contestant number one, turn out here.
00;15;05;10 – 00;15;27;11
Unknown
Okay. Contestant number one. Yeah. I’m like, how random is? Yeah, actually, his name was not Darnell. It was Laquan de la page. Oh, that’s a stage name. Yeah. Okay. Laquan. Laquan. That which is, I believe his middle name. Is that really? Yeah. Look like one Laquan we call de la one. See de la page de la. Where was that from.
00;15;27;13 – 00;15;47;04
Unknown
We just made that. Oh okay, I think we I wasn’t a part of it, but I guarantee you he had custom underwear made with that name around the band. It’s, it’s, what do you call it? The butt hangs out. Oh, yeah. The jockstrap. The jockstrap. Jockstrap? That’s the company. I like pictures that I send you where literally is his underwear?
00;15;47;05 – 00;16;04;08
Unknown
Feet. Oh, yeah. He’s. I have more pictures. I have more pictures of your tits and Darnell in his jockstrap. In my camera. Well, I know that’s gonna be worth a lot of money. Sometimes it’s worth a lot on your phone if you can’t find your phone. What time then? I know you don’t. You know what? It’s really good.
00;16;04;08 – 00;16;18;09
Unknown
What time hop shows up. Yeah. Maybe you could hook it up to, like, you know, how you have it hooked up on your computer or, like, on your TV at home, and it’s like, just show my best pictures. You know what I was then? There’s my tits on the screen during dinner. Yeah, cause I never think to delete that.
00;16;18;15 – 00;16;28;04
Unknown
It just stays there. Know? Well, because you want to go back and look at it. That’s right, that’s right. It’s in my spank bank.
00;16;36;07 – 00;16;56;08
Unknown
I’m pretty sure your husband type. What? That it he probably showed you, like, how you create the secret folder. Did he mention that one day I’m like, what the fuck is a spank bank? And he’s like, yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s where I learned that. Oh my god. Okay, so back to what happened at this point. Get off the airplane.
00;16;56;09 – 00;17;16;15
Unknown
And I know this is at the airport about to get on the second flight from New York City to Detroit. Wait, what? What, you’re going all the way back there? I’m talking about Russ to part, bro. Oh. Oh, hard to know. My bird. To my bird. Did I told you? I told you about what happened at there. Yeah.
00;17;16;16 – 00;17;39;20
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. With the the boy in the girl. Yeah. Yeah. No one cares about that. Well it doesn’t matter the second. What’s funny is the woman across is like water. Water. Can’t whatever. We’ll say that word for the red day. The suspense. Everyone wants to know. Just know that no matter what every moment of our lives is. Sorry, I.
00;17;39;26 – 00;17;58;09
Unknown
Because again, it’s like, I know super early in the morning because my flight was at 530 and then I’m like, there I am talking Rebecca. Yeah, I mean, I’m like, you’re never going to believe what just happened across from me right now. This is not okay. Right? And then the guy got yanked off the plane by security. I know, yeah, whatever it was, this is so with whatever.
00;17;58;09 – 00;18;19;07
Unknown
So anyway, we get I get off the plane, and I fully expect that I’m going to be taking an Uber. And Darnell asked me. Yes, you don’t need to worry about that. Russ is going to come and pick you up at the airport. Text. That’s so sweet. Oh, nice. I really appreciate that. So I’m waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, I text him, no answer.
00;18;19;07 – 00;18;40;01
Unknown
I text the group chat. No answer. I call goes right to the person you’re trying to reach. Phone is not connected. It’s like the Verizon. Sorry about your luck. Oh yeah. Raising recording. Yeah, yeah. So then who do I call? Rebecca. Yeah, all the way. All the way from town. All the way from Texas. She calls me. She’s like, we got a situation.
00;18;40;03 – 00;18;55;21
Unknown
Yeah. And what did I say? You’re panicking. I think that Russ is dead. Yes, she’s. She tells me the whole story, and I’m just listening. She’s saying he’s supposed to pick me up. It’s been 45 minutes. I’m real concerned. I called his phone, went to voicemail. Is what you said okay? Okay. And I said okay. And then you said, I think he’s in an accident.
00;18;55;21 – 00;19;11;11
Unknown
I’m like, wow, okay. All right. Why would you think that? And you’re like, because he left early, early and he’s still not here. And I’m really concerned. I said, there could be lots of reasons why he’s not there. Give him a minute. He might be on the phone. He owns a business. Yeah. There might be a situation that he’s handling.
00;19;11;15 – 00;19;30;05
Unknown
Just relax and we’re at the airport. What did I say? Nope. Right. He’s been in a massive car accident and I need to call around to the local hospital. Yes, because you have decided that he has nobody in his phone as an emergency contact. I’m like, okay, that’s all right. And no one knows he’s right. Dating Darnell Texas, right.
00;19;30;05 – 00;19;51;00
Unknown
So I said, stop. Give me his phone number. So you give me his cell phone and his business number? Yeah. I then call and I get the Verizon. Yeah. And I call you, and I say, listen, that was the Verizon number. I think something’s going on with his phone. And that’s why he’s not calling you. And you’re like, nope, nope nope nope nope.
00;19;51;00 – 00;20;10;07
Unknown
He’s dead. Right. So so I say, did you call Darnell? You’re like, yes. He’s going to the hotel room to see if he’s there. I said, okay. And also remember, I said to you, I, I did this and you said, what do you mean? And I said, I had a premonition. Oh, yes. Right before I got on the plane.
00;20;10;07 – 00;20;28;00
Unknown
Yes. That I needed to text Darnell and say if the plane goes down, you still compete tonight, right? And you compete your heart out. That’s right. You do not. That’s right. Not do it because you’re all sad that Aaron died in a plane crash on the way. Do you think to yourself, I got to do this for Aaron?
00;20;28;00 – 00;20;48;25
Unknown
That’s right. And I would hope everyone would feel that way if anyone just canceled their competition plans, that they’ve been work. Just because I lost my life and in an airplane, I’d be pissed. Pissed. So I said I did this. It wasn’t me who died, right? It’s his boyfriend, right? And we still need to show some time. We still need to perform.
00;20;48;25 – 00;21;04;19
Unknown
And I hope that Russ would feel the same way. But that’s what we need to do. But he’s so distraught that I can’t get to you at the airport. So what do I say? I go into my my. Yeah, my mother is problem solving crisis. The crisis of its own solving. So I say to her, all right, here’s what we’re going to do.
00;21;04;22 – 00;21;20;24
Unknown
She you’re like, what? And I said, does he have a rental car? And you say, yes, I say, you need to text Darnell and find out what the rental car company is, because we’re going to find out if there’s trackers on the tracker. Yep. If they have a tracker. Yep. I said because. Because he has an iPhone. But Darnell doesn’t.
00;21;20;24 – 00;21;40;14
Unknown
So he doesn’t know his find my iPhone app. I go, next thing we’re going to do is we’re going to hack into his phone and figure out his Apple ID, because we got to have him share his location with us. Do we have life? 360 on the phone. I’m like, I don’t know what that even mean. Zero points did I think to say to you, maybe Verizon has an outage like that?
00;21;40;16 – 00;22;01;16
Unknown
Zero. To be fair, you were a lot closer to reality, but I was anyway. True, true. That’s true, I was I googling things, I was googling like how to hack into someone’s phone. Is there a Verizon? All right. Turns out there’s a massive down in Chicago, which is where he lives. Massive message out. It affects every single human being, right?
00;22;01;17 – 00;22;15;16
Unknown
Darnell goes up to the room. Russ is just lay in there now. It’s like, what are you doing? I thought were go to the airport and he’s like, oh no, my my phone has absolutely no service. I couldn’t get in touch with Aaron because my phone isn’t, you know, whatever. I have no clue what flight she’s coming in on.
00;22;15;16 – 00;22;42;06
Unknown
Whatever. Then I find out later. Oh, there’s more that happened when he was driving. Stop it to the airport. So he had no GPS. There had no GPS? Yes. And he still made it back. Oh, oh. So I’m like, Russ, that is ridiculous. Incredible. Yeah. I knew that you made it back. I would have had to stop at someone’s house and be like, print out some MapQuest directions on me or get a ticket tricked up.
00;22;42;08 – 00;23;03;14
Unknown
Yeah, I’m I yeah, I had to do what I would do, what I would do, I would call Uber and I would say, can you get my car? You bring me back to the hotel, I’ll be driving, but you can’t because you have no phone, right? I have, I find somebody at the airport. Oh. Hello. Ma’am, would you please call me an Uber?
00;23;03;16 – 00;23;19;06
Unknown
I’m going to be following behind it in my own car. That’s what I would do. I know, I know anyway, but needless to say, if you are ever in a jam, you call us here. That’s right, that I. I immediately went to Russell. I know, I know, and he’s not dead. No, guys, he’s not dead. He’s not dead.
00;23;19;08 – 00;23;40;23
Unknown
So anyway, I went to the Mr. Gay America pageant, and, I basically said to Danell, I’m going to judge all of the in the entire event, I need to know what the criteria are. So he shows me the criteria. I then promptly make a statement that all of this criteria is subjective, not objective, and that does not feel like a good use of anyone’s time.
00;23;40;23 – 00;24;09;07
Unknown
But I think that’s the point. I don’t think you can. It’s that it’s a talent and beauty competition. Isn’t that subjective anyway, by nature? Well, most of it will be okay, but when I say subjective, I guess I also mean subjective and vague. Oh, so is there outfit? Good question Mark. Yeah, on a scale of 1 to 10, nice outfits, you know, not like did this tailor.
00;24;09;09 – 00;24;32;26
Unknown
Yes it did their body shape. You okay? Did you know did the outfit accentuate their features or was it related to their song or what? I feel like it was the outfit that they were wearing related to. So if you’re if all of a sudden you’re doing some, you know, I don’t know, tightrope, talent, tightrope and you’re there in a four piece suit that ain’t it.
00;24;32;28 – 00;24;56;06
Unknown
Right. Okay. So yeah. So okay. So that it was very very subjective. So I already had a problem with that. But I then decided I said to dance once again fixing people’s lives. We’ll tell you I know I know you got a question. Are you out that way. Did this show if this is related to what? What Scott just said about love telling people how to live their life so.
00;24;56;08 – 00;25;23;03
Unknown
So I get there and I say, I’m going to be watching the show based on the judging criteria. Little things. Like Darnell said, when you’re wearing your, swimsuit, it needs to have no crinkles in it. Even when you turn your body, that thing can’t crinkle it. Sure a shit can’t go in your buttcrack. Okay, he is. He has me primed to make sure these are all men.
00;25;23;06 – 00;25;48;25
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, Mr. Gay America. Right? Okay. Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, one was a trans man. Darnell owns a company, miss. That’s Miss Alex. Miss gay finger. Okay, so that’s. Yeah. Drag queens specifically. Yes. Okay. Got it. Right. Yeah. Okay. So I need clarification. Very nice clarification there. Okay. Yes. Those these are not queens are not these.
00;25;48;25 – 00;26;11;11
Unknown
Mr. Gay America is not king. These are misters. These are just men’s are more companies are men, men, men who are gay and Speedos. Oh, which little sidetrack here? You want to know the best place to be for a straight woman? A mr. Gay America pageant. Oh, why? Because they’re all very physically fit. They all are wearing very scanty clothing, and none of them want anything to do with you.
00;26;11;12 – 00;26;38;03
Unknown
Okay. Okay, great. I’ll keep that in mind. Absolutely. Great. Okay. Yeah. That’s for I’m going to go to hang out. Right. So do I think there’s a possibility you went up to the owner of this pageant and said we would be the MKS slash judges? I mean, maybe, yeah, there is, there is a I’m pretty sure you probably 90% created Marianne probably created a virtual business card.
00;26;38;04 – 00;27;06;24
Unknown
Yeah. And you shot that thing. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just checking. Yeah, yeah. So I said to Darnell, I will be judging this from the audience. Okay? And I will be reporting back to you about who is in the lead. Okay. Now, I now have my text messages open, so I’d like to show you this. I have my text messages open, and I basically am writing down everyone’s name and what score I gave them.
00;27;06;27 – 00;27;31;19
Unknown
And okay, here it is. Yep. Okay, here we go. So. And oh boy. Sorry, you can’t really see that super well but you’ll just see these blocks of text right. So it says talent colon. And then it says Darnell, Jack Jared Christopher Tony. Curious. Like I have them all listed with my numbers after them. 1 to 10 or 1 to 5?
00;27;31;19 – 00;27;51;01
Unknown
Yes, 1 to 10. Okay. Next one swim. Then I did total so far. Then I did top five so far with the added totals. And then I wrote parentheses. According to Aaron, just because I wanted to hedge my. That’s a little bit just because I was like, yeah, I hope he’s not, you know, getting too excited about these, but I really feel like I’ve nailed it.
00;27;51;03 – 00;28;15;14
Unknown
Then I got formal right? So I write all these out and it gets to the point where they have to name the top five. Okay, well how many how many other ten? Okay. Because only the top five gets this or the question. Oh okay. So I go in to do the top five and I get four out of five.
00;28;15;17 – 00;28;40;18
Unknown
Correct okay. Definitely qualified to be a judge. Thank you. The one I do not get. Correct. Is Darnell I’m sorry. Laquan. Oh, look on the Quan dealer page who gets replaced by this other gentleman who did not rate. Just so we’re clear. So that’s the brother. He’s a brother to one of the judges. I have no idea.
00;28;40;20 – 00;29;07;00
Unknown
But when I say that my critique was spot on about this, this man. Very nice. I’m sure he’s a very nice person, but we’re talking swimsuit. Didn’t fit. Yanked it out of his butt crack. His whole talent was him walking in a triangle on stage while modeling pictures of themselves came up in the background. It was not at all okay, okay.
00;29;07;03 – 00;29;41;21
Unknown
Laquan didn’t even place in the top five. Now he is beyond right and I’m and his professionalism is 100%, 112%. It was he he is incredibly put together. He is Nicholas pristine. Yeah. Like there is when I’m saying that Speedo fit like it was a second layer of skin on his body. Yeah, that is what I’m talking about.
00;29;41;21 – 00;30;16;19
Unknown
We’re talking matching sunglasses to the bathing suit. Right. Or to. I mean, to the heat, right? Yeah. So what’s fascinating about all of this is that Russ, Darnell’s, boyfriend, made a comment at one point about me being critical and opinionated. Oh, and but it was it was like, like an offhanded, funny comment. Like he was like, oh, I said, Russ, I think you’re doing a really excellent job driving.
00;30;16;21 – 00;30;38;05
Unknown
And I said, what I mean when I say excellent is how I’m, how safe I feel when I’m in the car with you and how much I appreciate your awareness of what’s happening around you. Let me give you an example. One time you did not pull directly up to the train thing that was coming down. You held back while everyone else zoomed around you.
00;30;38;05 – 00;30;55;15
Unknown
Why did you do that? Because you wanted to make sure that if that train was going to be a long time, you were going to be able to take a side street to get out of there. I noticed these things and he said, thank you very much. I really appreciate that. I take great pride in that. And I said, and, you know, it means a lot coming from me.
00;30;55;15 – 00;31;28;08
Unknown
He said, yes, because you’re highly critical and have opinions on everything. I mean, and in that moment I thought to myself, and then Scott just said it is that can that coexist with empathy? Can being highly critical and opinionated? Because there is no doubt in my mind that at this Mr. Gay Finger Lakes, I was encouraged to bleed discerning.
00;31;28;10 – 00;31;56;12
Unknown
Maybe the word discerning is different than critical. And for someone who’s literal, maybe these things matter. I am incredibly discerning. I can tell you without question. If that’s on point, if it’s off point, if it’s and it’s according to, I guess it would be standards according to Erin. But I feel like Erin standards are relatively inclusive of multiple perspectives.
00;31;56;15 – 00;32;26;27
Unknown
Yeah, but that’s a difficult the point of that experience was to be judgmental, right? I don’t think you would have been highly critical an opinionated if it was just a bunch of people in a room. Okay, let’s use an example of your child’s dance recital. Highly critical and opinionated when they did the father’s dance. Yeah. But I’m but I’m highly opinionated and critical I know all the time I know.
00;32;26;27 – 00;32;59;21
Unknown
So that’s but, but don’t you not expect that from someone like me. I know you can highly critical eye and highly critical discerning and opinionated. Be held at the same place as empathy. Well yeah. Because connected how well you take the dad’s dance for an example. Your empathy is, oh, I really appreciate that you went out on a limb and wanted to do this for your kid.
00;32;59;24 – 00;33;27;16
Unknown
However, maybe pick something else because this was not good. Yeah, that’s totally fine in my opinion. Okay. And what about you, Scott? You think they’re related? It could be just the autism part. I mean, could be the neurodivergent part because you can’t not do those things, but you have an opinion of how things should be. Yeah, always. And that includes yeah.
00;33;27;16 – 00;33;43;21
Unknown
Anything having to do with empathy. True. So it’s kind of you can’t avoid it. It’s you have to take all of it together. But what I think is interesting is if I was highly critical, discerning and opinionated on things.
00;33;43;24 – 00;34;10;29
Unknown
To just be highly opinionated, critical and discerning, that feels different to me than the reason that I’m having an opinion on whatever it is, is because I so greatly want you to either be the best version of yourself, right? Or I don’t want you to make a fool out of yourself. Ding ding ding ding. That’s why I am opinionated.
00;34;10;29 – 00;34;34;15
Unknown
Because I’m like, you don’t feel the same way. No I do, I’m like, I have so much empathy for you that I don’t want you to be embarrassed. Yeah. I don’t want you to come across as not the best version of yourself and don’t make that choice, but I can’t. I’m not. I’m not comfortable communicating that. So I’m rather just like that ain’t it.
00;34;34;17 – 00;34;52;16
Unknown
You know what I mean. Yeah. But it, but it’s coming from a place of care and concern. The use of performance evaluations is the same. You hear me say all the time, I am going to be critical and opinionated and have an incredibly strong thought on what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, and how you can be better.
00;34;52;16 – 00;35;11;26
Unknown
Because I think that’s the kindest thing I possibly could be. I can’t be over here pretending and letting you act a fool, right? Or let you think that whatever work you’re pulling is a 10.0, right? When it’s a 6.0. Right. Because someone who’s less kind in the future is going to bring that up to you are going to fire you.
00;35;11;26 – 00;35;37;24
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. I feel an innate sense of responsibility to bring that bring that up. Yeah. The example of Russ with the driving situation in my mind, I wasn’t thinking of that as being critical. Right. Or compliment terminated. I was thinking of that as I see you right in the smart in the smallest little driving capacity. I see you right.
00;35;38;02 – 00;35;57;04
Unknown
But I, I don’t think that that’s how people typically view, opinions, thoughts, criticism, whatever. And to be fair, I don’t always think the people are coming from the same place. So I don’t know if this is an Aaron thing, if this is a neurodivergent thing, if this is whatever. But I have been watching all of the rails that you send me on Instagram.
00;35;57;04 – 00;36;16;20
Unknown
I know from the neurodivergent, I can’t help myself, which I absolutely love. And there is a very common theme there that we are not doing these things out of trying to be an asshole or at all. What we also get is you think you’re better than everyone else. You think that you’re, you know, your way is the right way.
00;36;16;21 – 00;36;43;28
Unknown
You and in we may come across like that because when we do see things, it’s often with conviction, because we’ve given so much thought to it before it comes out of our mouth. Right. That that sense of confidence can often be misrepresented as arrogance and can also be seen as the opposite of empathy. And I think that’s at least very confusing to me, because I think it’s the kindest thing I can do for you is to share it.
00;36;43;28 – 00;37;15;15
Unknown
The only thing I can think of right off the bat is, you know, the golden rule. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. So we’re, we’re taught as a very, at a very young age to not criticize and to definitely not say it. You know, so I think that again context straight like when you’re, when you’re telling little children these kinds of things, it’s very confusing.
00;37;15;18 – 00;37;43;05
Unknown
Yes. Very confusing. Because you teach this fundamental concept and then that is where that’s your baseline. So it’s like well I can’t be critical of that because in theory it’s fine. It’s just not fine for me or it’s not fine in this context, but it is fine. But I’m not going to say anything because now I have gotten better about not providing unsolicited advice.
00;37;43;07 – 00;38;01;04
Unknown
If people aren’t ready to hear that. So I am trying very hard to do a better job of saying, what is it that you would need from me in this moment, you know, are you interested? And do you want a hug? Do you want me to just listen? Do you want, you know, because I because I think my natural go to is to go to.
00;38;01;04 – 00;38;22;22
Unknown
I’m going to fix this for you, and I’m going to let you know when I have the answer for you. And here’s the answer. And I served it up on a on a silver platter. But that has often led to me being in incredibly disappointed and angry and sad. And because now you’re still suffering. Even though I served this up on a silver platter for you, and then I’m over here just holding it because I’m like, I gave you the chance.
00;38;22;24 – 00;38;41;26
Unknown
I yeah, right. Yeah. And nine times out of ten that people don’t want the answer, right? Because deep down they know the answer, but they don’t want it. They want sympathy. They want commiserate. They want validation. They want that. Don’t know. Yeah, that’s hard for me. Which is why I don’t have a lot of close that you just don’t engage.
00;38;41;26 – 00;39;01;09
Unknown
Do you don’t like each. And then I have to constantly be asking how you want me to engage, because I cannot sit in a space where you are struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling, I know. And then I step in to try and be helpful to you, and then you continue to do the same thing over and over again.
00;39;01;12 – 00;39;31;02
Unknown
And and now I want to keep coming back for, for what can misery validation. Right. And all the things that it’s hopeless complainer. Yeah. You’re actually when you feel that way. Right. That’s hard. That’s really hard. Or maybe you’re not as far along in your journey or whatever. But yeah, my point of all of this being, I think it’s so interesting when when we think of I remember with the mystic autistic that we had, I’m like, how can you be autistic and also mythical?
00;39;31;04 – 00;39;57;10
Unknown
Those two things don’t make sense to me in the same place, right? Because the mythical part is, in my mind, absence of some logic and is letting the universe play its role. And autism, autism, the autism, to me that she was talking about is much more rule bound and truth seeking and specific. Right. And she was saying, no, those two things aren’t opposite for me.
00;39;57;12 – 00;40;34;04
Unknown
And this is what I was I started to think in this episode was can empathy and, judgment, judgment or criticism or opinions exist in exactly the same space? Sure. And I have a very hard time reconciling those two things. Well, because in your mind, you’ve you’ve put them on the opposite end of the spectrum. Right? And because often I get negative feedback, if I am being judgmental or opinionated, which is I’m going to tell you my go to state not to be like I say, because you would call it judgmental.
00;40;34;04 – 00;40;52;24
Unknown
It’s to be clear in discerning are you on the I am I said DSM, it’s not, it’s not it. Yeah. It’s probably in a couple different ways. Yeah. And the Myers-Briggs which what is, what is that called. Like what what are my letters? Are you a J. Oh yeah. Yeah I’m a J2. Yeah a judge. Yeah. Absolutely.
00;40;52;24 – 00;41;16;01
Unknown
Yeah yeah. But it’s not and not in a negative way. No. Yeah. It’s just it’s judging or perceiving. Yeah. ERP. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Which I again I would and maybe that’s why again in your head you’ve made it clear that that they’re two different things. Because how can you be judging and perceiving. Because according to that particular test you can’t you’re one or the other or you, it is on a spectrum.
00;41;16;01 – 00;41;35;03
Unknown
Right. So you might be a pretty close to the middle right. But the far J and the far P are very very different human beings. My sister in law, our therapist is a p m I am a J right. If you just think about Shannon and I and how we process things and engage with the world, it is so drastically different.
00;41;35;03 – 00;41;59;08
Unknown
Not that one is right or one is wrong. No, they’re just drastically, drastically different. So how could you be in both of those places? So let us know in the comments. Yeah, let us know on the Facebook page. Let us know somewhere on the ethos, you know, share our videos like and subscribe. Whatever can. Empathy and judgment, discernment, critical opinions exist in the same place?
00;41;59;10 – 00;42;20;20
Unknown
All right, read us our hippie view to take us out. And then I’ll read us the affirmation card. Okay, so today we are doing The High Priestess, which is intuition. I think we’ve had this before. The High Priestess indicates it’s time for learning so she can represent a teacher or spiritual guide. If you are reading for another person, it can show that they are ready to open up spiritually or have or to find an educational course.
00;42;20;22 – 00;42;37;06
Unknown
An additional meeting is needed to spend more time alone and connect with your inner self. There may be a secret around you or a new situation that is yet to unfold. Someone may take you into their confidence. So some of the advice keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself just now and respect other secrets as well as your own.
00;42;37;11 – 00;43;06;09
Unknown
Take time to concentrate on your spiritual interests and listen to your intuition. The right teacher will appear when you are ready for the lesson. Right? No, not ready for the lesson. Hahahahaha. And mine says I know that I can manifest all that my heart desires. I am ready to receive interesting. All right. Dooby doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo on a high note, ladies.
00;43;06;12 – 00;43;43;01
Unknown
That’s right, I loved that. Me too. Isn’t empathy amazing? Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all that sympathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to More Love the Power of Empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
Unknown
And so then who do I call? Rebecca? All the way. All the way from town. All the way from Texas. She calls me. She’s like, we got a situation. Yeah. And what did I say? You’re panicking. I think that Russ is dead. Yes. She’s. She tells me the whole story, and I’m just listening. She said she’s supposed to pick me up.
00;00;15;09 – 00;00;31;12
Unknown
It’s been 45 minutes. I’m so concerned. I called his phone, went to voicemail. Is what you said okay? And I said okay. And then you said, I think he’s in an accident. I’m like, wow, okay. All right. Why would you think that? And you’re like, because he left early. Early and he’s still not here. And I’m really concerned.
00;00;31;12 – 00;00;51;11
Unknown
I said, there could be lots of reasons why he’s not there. Give him a minute. He might be on the phone. He owns a business. Yeah, there might be a situation that he’s handling. Just relax. And we’re at the airport. What did I say?
00;00;51;13 – 00;01;16;14
Unknown
Hey, it’s me. Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. I love money, darling. Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast.
00;01;16;16 – 00;01;46;22
Unknown
A podcast about what our life, our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Oh, yay! I love this and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay. Yeah. So, Scott keeps playing the intro. So Scott told us, people basically said people hate the intro.
00;01;46;26 – 00;02;03;26
Unknown
That’s what I heard him say. That’s okay. He basically said, they hate the intro. So you don’t want anything to do with the intro until they start listening to the intro and they’re all excited about your podcast. And then three seconds into the intro, they’re like, screw this when doing this anymore. Well, it’s like it’s like commercials are it’s like, you know, when they do the beginning of a show, you’re like, I don’t need to see this.
00;02;03;26 – 00;02;28;05
Unknown
Every skip intro. It’s like every Netflix show. But anyway, you didn’t want to get rid of the intro. So we decided that we were going to play a teaser before the intro, which is what we’re doing now. Is it working? I don’t know. It didn’t work for me. When I listen to the podcast last week, because I kept pushing the back 15 seconds, back 15 seconds, because I’m like, I missed the intro.
00;02;28;08 – 00;02;46;07
Unknown
I missed I was starting in the middle of the damn podcast. What is happening? Push to push the narrative. Urgent to give feedback. Like I’m like, damn it. What’s going on? So then I go and I’m like, all right, well, I mean, I gotta tell Scott that we started the podcast in the middle this time, but maybe he did that on purpose.
00;02;46;09 – 00;03;08;11
Unknown
So then it goes to this point where I say, you guys got to hear this. So and then it goes, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. And I’m like, oh. And you go, genius. Oh, we put that. We put we put the intro, not intro. That’s all we did. So I get here today, Rebecca’s like, oh, we still play in the intro.
00;03;08;14 – 00;03;40;27
Unknown
I thought we weren’t playing the intro. And I said, yeah. Scott said, no one likes the intro. Screw your intro. Jo Jo put it halfway into the middle of the frickin podcast that I can. Hi, Cho, can you hear us? You can’t hear Jo right now, is it? Hi, Jo. Hi, Jo. Hey, hey, hey. Oh. My goodness, guys, I, I mean, rare form I know today.
00;03;40;28 – 00;04;02;12
Unknown
Today. It’s okay. It’s Monday night. We getting our period soon. I already got mine. Mine’s over. Oh. So my mine’s coming in real quick because I am I. This is how I know that I’m not my best self. I myself talk or like the talk. Not my self talk about myself. Because that’s pretty. Because your internal narrators here, you’re bringing.
00;04;02;12 – 00;04;29;11
Unknown
Narrator. Mainframe. Narrator. Says things that she does not usually say. For instance, today I walked and walked down the steps of the podcast, turned the corner and saw that bench sitting there, and my internal narrator said, the fuck’s that bench doing there? They’re going to notice a piece. What do you mean? There’s a new bench? I brought that from home because we didn’t have any room for it, so I didn’t know that that was my inside.
00;04;29;11 – 00;04;52;03
Unknown
Narrator. Voice. That’s how the fuck’s that bench do in there? That doesn’t go there. I can’t, I can’t. And then I was like, whoa, whoa whoa, easy there, girl. Easy there, easy there. But that should happen. Been not a place. No I don’t know if I got I got out of my car. I looked at the car next to me, parked like a jack wagon.
00;04;52;06 – 00;05;13;28
Unknown
And was it me? Like, no. And I was like, I ain’t parks like this. And then. And then legit gets out of their car and thinks, okay, we’ll just leave it like that. Busy. Like you’re half in and out of the parking spot. You’re you’re at an angle. Oh, wait, you go out, see, right on angled spot. Now listen, those people don’t even look to see how they parked there.
00;05;14;00 – 00;05;31;28
Unknown
We just get out. I’m out of here. Oh, it’s totally me. But I will say, I usually park nobody else. Respect. Oh well, fine. Yeah. So like far away, you know. Yeah. It’s fine. Nobody. If people have an opinion about this just because that whole thing is felt. I get out of my car, open the door, shut the door.
00;05;31;28 – 00;05;56;02
Unknown
Turn around. Look at the car on the other side of me. There’s just shit everywhere in this person’s car. What do I think to myself? You fucking slob again. Internal narrator. Well, she is not happy right now. She is feisty. She is annoyed at everyone. It’s okay. She. You know what doesn’t like how people are running their lives?
00;05;56;05 – 00;06;30;16
Unknown
She has no remorse. Do you remember when I called you? It was it Friday at our 7 a.m. talks and you’re like, what are you doing? I said, I am asking Marianne to create us a television show, and we spent the next 30 minutes designing our animated logo of what we look like, and the renditions are hilarious. And part of the show was that we school people in how to live their lives better.
00;06;30;19 – 00;06;47;27
Unknown
We have, we have, what was the we have these parties that are called. Oh, I can’t remember what they were called. Oh, it’s in your thing. The party. We have these parties that we bring you over, and then we tell you exactly how you should live your life. We like. Okay, Ronnie Scott does zoom in on this, so she speaks to Marianne.
00;06;47;27 – 00;07;12;27
Unknown
You guys will remember that Marianne is our favorite employee, also known as. And, Rebecca paid the extra $20 a month to get the vector files. Sure never heard it. So she basically asks that create a TV show for us. And so the TV show is called Best Friends for real. And then she goes into this whole thing about like, what we do together.
00;07;12;27 – 00;07;33;28
Unknown
Basically, it’s exactly what we want to do in life, which is to go to all these the antique shops and to, oh my God. My favorite one was it said on this episode, the girls have $50 to spend on an entire room redesign while at the thrift store. Rebecca can’t let it go that she will not leave without this ceramic horse.
00;07;34;00 – 00;08;01;12
Unknown
And there it is. Tried to give it to bread. Not going to be practical and spend the money appropriately. I just imagine you in this stupid ass ceramic course and I’m like, this is turned into a lamp. We say it’s multi-functional. Oh my God. So okay, so anyway, we tell it to please create a logo. Was it or like I don’t remember it was for the like the cover album.
00;08;01;12 – 00;08;24;10
Unknown
Basically it was what our show is. So Rebecca inputs to her credit correct information about who we are as people. Right. And this is the first one that it produces. Okay. There’s even this. Yeah. Okay. Just so we’re clear, I’m the one here in the purple. It’s the one with the honkers. That’s their with with the red hair.
00;08;24;11 – 00;08;48;10
Unknown
Right. The big boobs. Red. What? I said absolutely true. I said how what did you put input from my weight there. Because. Not even close. Not okay. Not even close. So she’s like okay. All right. That’s not it. Let me tell her to do something else. So she’s like Marianne, let me do whatever second version comes up. It’s this one.
00;08;48;11 – 00;09;12;28
Unknown
I’m not back is dying. Why are you anime characters? I don’t know, like, oh my God, that who wants it now? This is boho whimsy. Dream catcher, you know, voodoo doll. Someone’s reading some some vibes here. Yeah. We have. We are in Costa Rica. We look like Barbie dolls. Yeah, we had the tax, right. So I’m like that.
00;09;12;28 – 00;09;34;24
Unknown
That it is. You still have brown hair even though I’m very clear. Yeah. Two blonds. Yeah. Yeah two blonds. One short, one has big boobs is exactly what I said. Right. But big boobs apparently means it also means 400 pounds with red hair, massive honkers. So that I was like, no, no, no input. This this is this is what I’m going to say.
00;09;34;24 – 00;09;58;14
Unknown
So I put in a whole bunch of words like you type it in the right number, and this is what this is what comes up. Oh, it’s black. This is who we are. Yep. Here. Yep. Okay. I now have black hair as well with blond highlights. I look like I’m on an episode of Elvira. Black lipstick. What? Rebecca still looking at the set for Rebecca.
00;09;58;14 – 00;10;16;21
Unknown
She’s all set here. I’m verbatim putting in what she says, and then I. And then finally we’re like, you know what? Blend the two, right, Marianne. Right. Bring us both and show us this is what we end up with. And then this is the final version. Still not it. Still not black hair. I am skunk in it. Out.
00;10;16;22 – 00;10;27;00
Unknown
Not sure why Rebecca looks like Rachel from friends is. And then here’s what it says. Here’s what it says on the thing.
00;10;27;02 – 00;10;54;21
Unknown
Bow lights, low lights, low lights. Like the second, but not different to on ribboned. That’s what it says the randomly in the background. If you want elves in real, that’s real. Like super, y’all, I don’t know. I mean, maybe we need to up our prices for the $20 maybe isn’t working right? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I don’t know.
00;10;54;21 – 00;11;18;14
Unknown
It’s not. It. But this is this is the typical conversation in the morning for us. Hey. And because my internal narrator is not at her best place, this is what happens when Rebecca’s talking to me. Yeah. She’s like, oh, my God. It’s no joke. It’s A705 in the morning, right? And she’s like, oh my God. So I’ve been up all morning and I was doing this and I created this for Sawyer and this, this, this, this, this.
00;11;18;18 – 00;11;40;07
Unknown
And so I thought I kind of create that for me. And Aaron in my intern on the narrator says she has so many things to do. Why the hell is she spending any amount of time? I know on creating a fake TV show with our logos makes me happy. I just want to have fun. That’s my internal narrator happy.
00;11;40;09 – 00;12;00;09
Unknown
But then as I as we continue to go along, my internal narrator gets a little bit more on board. And then this is how I dress, you and I. And then. And then I start to. I just have to be able to intellectualize it. So then, like I’m saying, my internal air, you’re saying things like fun is a part of life.
00;12;00;12 – 00;12;22;23
Unknown
It’s okay to take a break sometimes. Like I got so much shit to do and you have so much shit to do. And I’m so anxious for both of us. And I’m like, what a great bonding moment. Yeah, but the best part is I’m looking homeless in the same clothes from three days doing this. You are in the shower, you in the shower, literally, because you have to go through your routine.
00;12;22;24 – 00;12;38;14
Unknown
And I just, I know I have to be somewhere in 15 minutes, but I gotta get this out. That’s it. I need to get a TV show out of my head. Yeah, yeah. And here I’m just talking myself through it to make sure that I can make the mental space to be in the same journey with you. Yeah.
00;12;38;16 – 00;13;00;12
Unknown
Most classics, it’s just you never know. Like this eject button over. Right? Know? I know, it’s like it’s called like. Like you said, it’s called couple jacked. That’s funny. This is big. This is a real big deal here, Scott. This is like no I can’t. Oh, oh you moved it in the movie I was Scott hates that. Scott is so mad.
00;13;00;12 – 00;13;22;02
Unknown
I just did that. Boop boop. He hates it. He’s so mad. He’s so mad. The mute button works. Boom. No, no, no, you don’t. You like it? I’m not. You feel good about it? Of course. Yeah, right. The more toys that that make this podcast studio better. I mean, the studio. I sent you a picture of what I bought.
00;13;22;05 – 00;13;37;26
Unknown
The chair. Okay. All right, let’s shoot. That was that. That was a HomeGoods. I was gonna say it. Sure. Shit was not a Hobby Lobby. No, I was it was a full on tear it like, you know, a little kid. Sawyer found it, and she goes, mom, you need this. I’m like, you’re right. I’m gonna send that to Aaron.
00;13;37;26 – 00;13;53;25
Unknown
I’m Scott on my butt. This I bought this, and then we all immediately knew you didn’t because you don’t have any money. True. It’s true, it’s true. Scott and I are both like, I got recreate it with my, Amazon. Yeah. Boxes. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. In your cricket that you already gave up. I know, I know that less than 30s.
00;13;53;29 – 00;14;18;12
Unknown
All right, so this is somewhat related to what I thought maybe we could talk about today after we do some hippie ville. Okay, so it got this internal narrator, right? She comes out sometimes. She’s definitely a version of myself that is much less empathic, much more critical, much more judgmental. And then, related to that, I went to the Mr. Gay America pageant in Texas last week, and, I was there.
00;14;18;13 – 00;14;44;12
Unknown
What? Mr.. Gay America. Yeah. As the contestant just kind of just kidding. Just kidding. Hey. What’s that? Come on and whip it out. It’s time. It’s time. Honey. So she’s an expert. Tucker, were you, like, a judge or like I. Oh, I sure as shit was just not officially. Okay. It’s not really clear. I just want to be real clear.
00;14;44;15 – 00;15;05;10
Unknown
But that’s what I want to talk about today. So I’m at Mr. Gay America. I’m with Darnell, Darnell’s boyfriend. Russ, wait. Can we go there? Can we talk about what happened when you got to the airport? Oh, I need I just need a little context before you continue. Okay. Sorry. Oh, cause a very, very good friend. Contestant number one, turn out here.
00;15;05;10 – 00;15;27;11
Unknown
Okay. Contestant number one. Yeah. I’m like, how random is? Yeah, actually, his name was not Darnell. It was Laquan de la page. Oh, that’s a stage name. Yeah. Okay. Laquan. Laquan. That which is, I believe his middle name. Is that really? Yeah. Look like one Laquan we call de la one. See de la page de la. Where was that from.
00;15;27;13 – 00;15;47;04
Unknown
We just made that. Oh okay, I think we I wasn’t a part of it, but I guarantee you he had custom underwear made with that name around the band. It’s, it’s, what do you call it? The butt hangs out. Oh, yeah. The jockstrap. The jockstrap. Jockstrap? That’s the company. I like pictures that I send you where literally is his underwear?
00;15;47;05 – 00;16;04;08
Unknown
Feet. Oh, yeah. He’s. I have more pictures. I have more pictures of your tits and Darnell in his jockstrap. In my camera. Well, I know that’s gonna be worth a lot of money. Sometimes it’s worth a lot on your phone if you can’t find your phone. What time then? I know you don’t. You know what? It’s really good.
00;16;04;08 – 00;16;18;09
Unknown
What time hop shows up. Yeah. Maybe you could hook it up to, like, you know, how you have it hooked up on your computer or, like, on your TV at home, and it’s like, just show my best pictures. You know what I was then? There’s my tits on the screen during dinner. Yeah, cause I never think to delete that.
00;16;18;15 – 00;16;28;04
Unknown
It just stays there. Know? Well, because you want to go back and look at it. That’s right, that’s right. It’s in my spank bank.
00;16;36;07 – 00;16;56;08
Unknown
I’m pretty sure your husband type. What? That it he probably showed you, like, how you create the secret folder. Did he mention that one day I’m like, what the fuck is a spank bank? And he’s like, yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s where I learned that. Oh my god. Okay, so back to what happened at this point. Get off the airplane.
00;16;56;09 – 00;17;16;15
Unknown
And I know this is at the airport about to get on the second flight from New York City to Detroit. Wait, what? What, you’re going all the way back there? I’m talking about Russ to part, bro. Oh. Oh, hard to know. My bird. To my bird. Did I told you? I told you about what happened at there. Yeah.
00;17;16;16 – 00;17;39;20
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. With the the boy in the girl. Yeah. Yeah. No one cares about that. Well it doesn’t matter the second. What’s funny is the woman across is like water. Water. Can’t whatever. We’ll say that word for the red day. The suspense. Everyone wants to know. Just know that no matter what every moment of our lives is. Sorry, I.
00;17;39;26 – 00;17;58;09
Unknown
Because again, it’s like, I know super early in the morning because my flight was at 530 and then I’m like, there I am talking Rebecca. Yeah, I mean, I’m like, you’re never going to believe what just happened across from me right now. This is not okay. Right? And then the guy got yanked off the plane by security. I know, yeah, whatever it was, this is so with whatever.
00;17;58;09 – 00;18;19;07
Unknown
So anyway, we get I get off the plane, and I fully expect that I’m going to be taking an Uber. And Darnell asked me. Yes, you don’t need to worry about that. Russ is going to come and pick you up at the airport. Text. That’s so sweet. Oh, nice. I really appreciate that. So I’m waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, I text him, no answer.
00;18;19;07 – 00;18;40;01
Unknown
I text the group chat. No answer. I call goes right to the person you’re trying to reach. Phone is not connected. It’s like the Verizon. Sorry about your luck. Oh yeah. Raising recording. Yeah, yeah. So then who do I call? Rebecca. Yeah, all the way. All the way from town. All the way from Texas. She calls me. She’s like, we got a situation.
00;18;40;03 – 00;18;55;21
Unknown
Yeah. And what did I say? You’re panicking. I think that Russ is dead. Yes, she’s. She tells me the whole story, and I’m just listening. She’s saying he’s supposed to pick me up. It’s been 45 minutes. I’m real concerned. I called his phone, went to voicemail. Is what you said okay? Okay. And I said okay. And then you said, I think he’s in an accident.
00;18;55;21 – 00;19;11;11
Unknown
I’m like, wow, okay. All right. Why would you think that? And you’re like, because he left early, early and he’s still not here. And I’m really concerned. I said, there could be lots of reasons why he’s not there. Give him a minute. He might be on the phone. He owns a business. Yeah. There might be a situation that he’s handling.
00;19;11;15 – 00;19;30;05
Unknown
Just relax and we’re at the airport. What did I say? Nope. Right. He’s been in a massive car accident and I need to call around to the local hospital. Yes, because you have decided that he has nobody in his phone as an emergency contact. I’m like, okay, that’s all right. And no one knows he’s right. Dating Darnell Texas, right.
00;19;30;05 – 00;19;51;00
Unknown
So I said, stop. Give me his phone number. So you give me his cell phone and his business number? Yeah. I then call and I get the Verizon. Yeah. And I call you, and I say, listen, that was the Verizon number. I think something’s going on with his phone. And that’s why he’s not calling you. And you’re like, nope, nope nope nope nope.
00;19;51;00 – 00;20;10;07
Unknown
He’s dead. Right. So so I say, did you call Darnell? You’re like, yes. He’s going to the hotel room to see if he’s there. I said, okay. And also remember, I said to you, I, I did this and you said, what do you mean? And I said, I had a premonition. Oh, yes. Right before I got on the plane.
00;20;10;07 – 00;20;28;00
Unknown
Yes. That I needed to text Darnell and say if the plane goes down, you still compete tonight, right? And you compete your heart out. That’s right. You do not. That’s right. Not do it because you’re all sad that Aaron died in a plane crash on the way. Do you think to yourself, I got to do this for Aaron?
00;20;28;00 – 00;20;48;25
Unknown
That’s right. And I would hope everyone would feel that way if anyone just canceled their competition plans, that they’ve been work. Just because I lost my life and in an airplane, I’d be pissed. Pissed. So I said I did this. It wasn’t me who died, right? It’s his boyfriend, right? And we still need to show some time. We still need to perform.
00;20;48;25 – 00;21;04;19
Unknown
And I hope that Russ would feel the same way. But that’s what we need to do. But he’s so distraught that I can’t get to you at the airport. So what do I say? I go into my my. Yeah, my mother is problem solving crisis. The crisis of its own solving. So I say to her, all right, here’s what we’re going to do.
00;21;04;22 – 00;21;20;24
Unknown
She you’re like, what? And I said, does he have a rental car? And you say, yes, I say, you need to text Darnell and find out what the rental car company is, because we’re going to find out if there’s trackers on the tracker. Yep. If they have a tracker. Yep. I said because. Because he has an iPhone. But Darnell doesn’t.
00;21;20;24 – 00;21;40;14
Unknown
So he doesn’t know his find my iPhone app. I go, next thing we’re going to do is we’re going to hack into his phone and figure out his Apple ID, because we got to have him share his location with us. Do we have life? 360 on the phone. I’m like, I don’t know what that even mean. Zero points did I think to say to you, maybe Verizon has an outage like that?
00;21;40;16 – 00;22;01;16
Unknown
Zero. To be fair, you were a lot closer to reality, but I was anyway. True, true. That’s true, I was I googling things, I was googling like how to hack into someone’s phone. Is there a Verizon? All right. Turns out there’s a massive down in Chicago, which is where he lives. Massive message out. It affects every single human being, right?
00;22;01;17 – 00;22;15;16
Unknown
Darnell goes up to the room. Russ is just lay in there now. It’s like, what are you doing? I thought were go to the airport and he’s like, oh no, my my phone has absolutely no service. I couldn’t get in touch with Aaron because my phone isn’t, you know, whatever. I have no clue what flight she’s coming in on.
00;22;15;16 – 00;22;42;06
Unknown
Whatever. Then I find out later. Oh, there’s more that happened when he was driving. Stop it to the airport. So he had no GPS. There had no GPS? Yes. And he still made it back. Oh, oh. So I’m like, Russ, that is ridiculous. Incredible. Yeah. I knew that you made it back. I would have had to stop at someone’s house and be like, print out some MapQuest directions on me or get a ticket tricked up.
00;22;42;08 – 00;23;03;14
Unknown
Yeah, I’m I yeah, I had to do what I would do, what I would do, I would call Uber and I would say, can you get my car? You bring me back to the hotel, I’ll be driving, but you can’t because you have no phone, right? I have, I find somebody at the airport. Oh. Hello. Ma’am, would you please call me an Uber?
00;23;03;16 – 00;23;19;06
Unknown
I’m going to be following behind it in my own car. That’s what I would do. I know, I know anyway, but needless to say, if you are ever in a jam, you call us here. That’s right, that I. I immediately went to Russell. I know, I know, and he’s not dead. No, guys, he’s not dead. He’s not dead.
00;23;19;08 – 00;23;40;23
Unknown
So anyway, I went to the Mr. Gay America pageant, and, I basically said to Danell, I’m going to judge all of the in the entire event, I need to know what the criteria are. So he shows me the criteria. I then promptly make a statement that all of this criteria is subjective, not objective, and that does not feel like a good use of anyone’s time.
00;23;40;23 – 00;24;09;07
Unknown
But I think that’s the point. I don’t think you can. It’s that it’s a talent and beauty competition. Isn’t that subjective anyway, by nature? Well, most of it will be okay, but when I say subjective, I guess I also mean subjective and vague. Oh, so is there outfit? Good question Mark. Yeah, on a scale of 1 to 10, nice outfits, you know, not like did this tailor.
00;24;09;09 – 00;24;32;26
Unknown
Yes it did their body shape. You okay? Did you know did the outfit accentuate their features or was it related to their song or what? I feel like it was the outfit that they were wearing related to. So if you’re if all of a sudden you’re doing some, you know, I don’t know, tightrope, talent, tightrope and you’re there in a four piece suit that ain’t it.
00;24;32;28 – 00;24;56;06
Unknown
Right. Okay. So yeah. So okay. So that it was very very subjective. So I already had a problem with that. But I then decided I said to dance once again fixing people’s lives. We’ll tell you I know I know you got a question. Are you out that way. Did this show if this is related to what? What Scott just said about love telling people how to live their life so.
00;24;56;08 – 00;25;23;03
Unknown
So I get there and I say, I’m going to be watching the show based on the judging criteria. Little things. Like Darnell said, when you’re wearing your, swimsuit, it needs to have no crinkles in it. Even when you turn your body, that thing can’t crinkle it. Sure a shit can’t go in your buttcrack. Okay, he is. He has me primed to make sure these are all men.
00;25;23;06 – 00;25;48;25
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, Mr. Gay America. Right? Okay. Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, one was a trans man. Darnell owns a company, miss. That’s Miss Alex. Miss gay finger. Okay, so that’s. Yeah. Drag queens specifically. Yes. Okay. Got it. Right. Yeah. Okay. So I need clarification. Very nice clarification there. Okay. Yes. Those these are not queens are not these.
00;25;48;25 – 00;26;11;11
Unknown
Mr. Gay America is not king. These are misters. These are just men’s are more companies are men, men, men who are gay and Speedos. Oh, which little sidetrack here? You want to know the best place to be for a straight woman? A mr. Gay America pageant. Oh, why? Because they’re all very physically fit. They all are wearing very scanty clothing, and none of them want anything to do with you.
00;26;11;12 – 00;26;38;03
Unknown
Okay. Okay, great. I’ll keep that in mind. Absolutely. Great. Okay. Yeah. That’s for I’m going to go to hang out. Right. So do I think there’s a possibility you went up to the owner of this pageant and said we would be the MKS slash judges? I mean, maybe, yeah, there is, there is a I’m pretty sure you probably 90% created Marianne probably created a virtual business card.
00;26;38;04 – 00;27;06;24
Unknown
Yeah. And you shot that thing. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just checking. Yeah, yeah. So I said to Darnell, I will be judging this from the audience. Okay? And I will be reporting back to you about who is in the lead. Okay. Now, I now have my text messages open, so I’d like to show you this. I have my text messages open, and I basically am writing down everyone’s name and what score I gave them.
00;27;06;27 – 00;27;31;19
Unknown
And okay, here it is. Yep. Okay, here we go. So. And oh boy. Sorry, you can’t really see that super well but you’ll just see these blocks of text right. So it says talent colon. And then it says Darnell, Jack Jared Christopher Tony. Curious. Like I have them all listed with my numbers after them. 1 to 10 or 1 to 5?
00;27;31;19 – 00;27;51;01
Unknown
Yes, 1 to 10. Okay. Next one swim. Then I did total so far. Then I did top five so far with the added totals. And then I wrote parentheses. According to Aaron, just because I wanted to hedge my. That’s a little bit just because I was like, yeah, I hope he’s not, you know, getting too excited about these, but I really feel like I’ve nailed it.
00;27;51;03 – 00;28;15;14
Unknown
Then I got formal right? So I write all these out and it gets to the point where they have to name the top five. Okay, well how many how many other ten? Okay. Because only the top five gets this or the question. Oh okay. So I go in to do the top five and I get four out of five.
00;28;15;17 – 00;28;40;18
Unknown
Correct okay. Definitely qualified to be a judge. Thank you. The one I do not get. Correct. Is Darnell I’m sorry. Laquan. Oh, look on the Quan dealer page who gets replaced by this other gentleman who did not rate. Just so we’re clear. So that’s the brother. He’s a brother to one of the judges. I have no idea.
00;28;40;20 – 00;29;07;00
Unknown
But when I say that my critique was spot on about this, this man. Very nice. I’m sure he’s a very nice person, but we’re talking swimsuit. Didn’t fit. Yanked it out of his butt crack. His whole talent was him walking in a triangle on stage while modeling pictures of themselves came up in the background. It was not at all okay, okay.
00;29;07;03 – 00;29;41;21
Unknown
Laquan didn’t even place in the top five. Now he is beyond right and I’m and his professionalism is 100%, 112%. It was he he is incredibly put together. He is Nicholas pristine. Yeah. Like there is when I’m saying that Speedo fit like it was a second layer of skin on his body. Yeah, that is what I’m talking about.
00;29;41;21 – 00;30;16;19
Unknown
We’re talking matching sunglasses to the bathing suit. Right. Or to. I mean, to the heat, right? Yeah. So what’s fascinating about all of this is that Russ, Darnell’s, boyfriend, made a comment at one point about me being critical and opinionated. Oh, and but it was it was like, like an offhanded, funny comment. Like he was like, oh, I said, Russ, I think you’re doing a really excellent job driving.
00;30;16;21 – 00;30;38;05
Unknown
And I said, what I mean when I say excellent is how I’m, how safe I feel when I’m in the car with you and how much I appreciate your awareness of what’s happening around you. Let me give you an example. One time you did not pull directly up to the train thing that was coming down. You held back while everyone else zoomed around you.
00;30;38;05 – 00;30;55;15
Unknown
Why did you do that? Because you wanted to make sure that if that train was going to be a long time, you were going to be able to take a side street to get out of there. I noticed these things and he said, thank you very much. I really appreciate that. I take great pride in that. And I said, and, you know, it means a lot coming from me.
00;30;55;15 – 00;31;28;08
Unknown
He said, yes, because you’re highly critical and have opinions on everything. I mean, and in that moment I thought to myself, and then Scott just said it is that can that coexist with empathy? Can being highly critical and opinionated? Because there is no doubt in my mind that at this Mr. Gay Finger Lakes, I was encouraged to bleed discerning.
00;31;28;10 – 00;31;56;12
Unknown
Maybe the word discerning is different than critical. And for someone who’s literal, maybe these things matter. I am incredibly discerning. I can tell you without question. If that’s on point, if it’s off point, if it’s and it’s according to, I guess it would be standards according to Erin. But I feel like Erin standards are relatively inclusive of multiple perspectives.
00;31;56;15 – 00;32;26;27
Unknown
Yeah, but that’s a difficult the point of that experience was to be judgmental, right? I don’t think you would have been highly critical an opinionated if it was just a bunch of people in a room. Okay, let’s use an example of your child’s dance recital. Highly critical and opinionated when they did the father’s dance. Yeah. But I’m but I’m highly opinionated and critical I know all the time I know.
00;32;26;27 – 00;32;59;21
Unknown
So that’s but, but don’t you not expect that from someone like me. I know you can highly critical eye and highly critical discerning and opinionated. Be held at the same place as empathy. Well yeah. Because connected how well you take the dad’s dance for an example. Your empathy is, oh, I really appreciate that you went out on a limb and wanted to do this for your kid.
00;32;59;24 – 00;33;27;16
Unknown
However, maybe pick something else because this was not good. Yeah, that’s totally fine in my opinion. Okay. And what about you, Scott? You think they’re related? It could be just the autism part. I mean, could be the neurodivergent part because you can’t not do those things, but you have an opinion of how things should be. Yeah, always. And that includes yeah.
00;33;27;16 – 00;33;43;21
Unknown
Anything having to do with empathy. True. So it’s kind of you can’t avoid it. It’s you have to take all of it together. But what I think is interesting is if I was highly critical, discerning and opinionated on things.
00;33;43;24 – 00;34;10;29
Unknown
To just be highly opinionated, critical and discerning, that feels different to me than the reason that I’m having an opinion on whatever it is, is because I so greatly want you to either be the best version of yourself, right? Or I don’t want you to make a fool out of yourself. Ding ding ding ding. That’s why I am opinionated.
00;34;10;29 – 00;34;34;15
Unknown
Because I’m like, you don’t feel the same way. No I do, I’m like, I have so much empathy for you that I don’t want you to be embarrassed. Yeah. I don’t want you to come across as not the best version of yourself and don’t make that choice, but I can’t. I’m not. I’m not comfortable communicating that. So I’m rather just like that ain’t it.
00;34;34;17 – 00;34;52;16
Unknown
You know what I mean. Yeah. But it, but it’s coming from a place of care and concern. The use of performance evaluations is the same. You hear me say all the time, I am going to be critical and opinionated and have an incredibly strong thought on what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, and how you can be better.
00;34;52;16 – 00;35;11;26
Unknown
Because I think that’s the kindest thing I possibly could be. I can’t be over here pretending and letting you act a fool, right? Or let you think that whatever work you’re pulling is a 10.0, right? When it’s a 6.0. Right. Because someone who’s less kind in the future is going to bring that up to you are going to fire you.
00;35;11;26 – 00;35;37;24
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. I feel an innate sense of responsibility to bring that bring that up. Yeah. The example of Russ with the driving situation in my mind, I wasn’t thinking of that as being critical. Right. Or compliment terminated. I was thinking of that as I see you right in the smart in the smallest little driving capacity. I see you right.
00;35;38;02 – 00;35;57;04
Unknown
But I, I don’t think that that’s how people typically view, opinions, thoughts, criticism, whatever. And to be fair, I don’t always think the people are coming from the same place. So I don’t know if this is an Aaron thing, if this is a neurodivergent thing, if this is whatever. But I have been watching all of the rails that you send me on Instagram.
00;35;57;04 – 00;36;16;20
Unknown
I know from the neurodivergent, I can’t help myself, which I absolutely love. And there is a very common theme there that we are not doing these things out of trying to be an asshole or at all. What we also get is you think you’re better than everyone else. You think that you’re, you know, your way is the right way.
00;36;16;21 – 00;36;43;28
Unknown
You and in we may come across like that because when we do see things, it’s often with conviction, because we’ve given so much thought to it before it comes out of our mouth. Right. That that sense of confidence can often be misrepresented as arrogance and can also be seen as the opposite of empathy. And I think that’s at least very confusing to me, because I think it’s the kindest thing I can do for you is to share it.
00;36;43;28 – 00;37;15;15
Unknown
The only thing I can think of right off the bat is, you know, the golden rule. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. So we’re, we’re taught as a very, at a very young age to not criticize and to definitely not say it. You know, so I think that again context straight like when you’re, when you’re telling little children these kinds of things, it’s very confusing.
00;37;15;18 – 00;37;43;05
Unknown
Yes. Very confusing. Because you teach this fundamental concept and then that is where that’s your baseline. So it’s like well I can’t be critical of that because in theory it’s fine. It’s just not fine for me or it’s not fine in this context, but it is fine. But I’m not going to say anything because now I have gotten better about not providing unsolicited advice.
00;37;43;07 – 00;38;01;04
Unknown
If people aren’t ready to hear that. So I am trying very hard to do a better job of saying, what is it that you would need from me in this moment, you know, are you interested? And do you want a hug? Do you want me to just listen? Do you want, you know, because I because I think my natural go to is to go to.
00;38;01;04 – 00;38;22;22
Unknown
I’m going to fix this for you, and I’m going to let you know when I have the answer for you. And here’s the answer. And I served it up on a on a silver platter. But that has often led to me being in incredibly disappointed and angry and sad. And because now you’re still suffering. Even though I served this up on a silver platter for you, and then I’m over here just holding it because I’m like, I gave you the chance.
00;38;22;24 – 00;38;41;26
Unknown
I yeah, right. Yeah. And nine times out of ten that people don’t want the answer, right? Because deep down they know the answer, but they don’t want it. They want sympathy. They want commiserate. They want validation. They want that. Don’t know. Yeah, that’s hard for me. Which is why I don’t have a lot of close that you just don’t engage.
00;38;41;26 – 00;39;01;09
Unknown
Do you don’t like each. And then I have to constantly be asking how you want me to engage, because I cannot sit in a space where you are struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling, I know. And then I step in to try and be helpful to you, and then you continue to do the same thing over and over again.
00;39;01;12 – 00;39;31;02
Unknown
And and now I want to keep coming back for, for what can misery validation. Right. And all the things that it’s hopeless complainer. Yeah. You’re actually when you feel that way. Right. That’s hard. That’s really hard. Or maybe you’re not as far along in your journey or whatever. But yeah, my point of all of this being, I think it’s so interesting when when we think of I remember with the mystic autistic that we had, I’m like, how can you be autistic and also mythical?
00;39;31;04 – 00;39;57;10
Unknown
Those two things don’t make sense to me in the same place, right? Because the mythical part is, in my mind, absence of some logic and is letting the universe play its role. And autism, autism, the autism, to me that she was talking about is much more rule bound and truth seeking and specific. Right. And she was saying, no, those two things aren’t opposite for me.
00;39;57;12 – 00;40;34;04
Unknown
And this is what I was I started to think in this episode was can empathy and, judgment, judgment or criticism or opinions exist in exactly the same space? Sure. And I have a very hard time reconciling those two things. Well, because in your mind, you’ve you’ve put them on the opposite end of the spectrum. Right? And because often I get negative feedback, if I am being judgmental or opinionated, which is I’m going to tell you my go to state not to be like I say, because you would call it judgmental.
00;40;34;04 – 00;40;52;24
Unknown
It’s to be clear in discerning are you on the I am I said DSM, it’s not, it’s not it. Yeah. It’s probably in a couple different ways. Yeah. And the Myers-Briggs which what is, what is that called. Like what what are my letters? Are you a J. Oh yeah. Yeah I’m a J2. Yeah a judge. Yeah. Absolutely.
00;40;52;24 – 00;41;16;01
Unknown
Yeah yeah. But it’s not and not in a negative way. No. Yeah. It’s just it’s judging or perceiving. Yeah. ERP. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Which I again I would and maybe that’s why again in your head you’ve made it clear that that they’re two different things. Because how can you be judging and perceiving. Because according to that particular test you can’t you’re one or the other or you, it is on a spectrum.
00;41;16;01 – 00;41;35;03
Unknown
Right. So you might be a pretty close to the middle right. But the far J and the far P are very very different human beings. My sister in law, our therapist is a p m I am a J right. If you just think about Shannon and I and how we process things and engage with the world, it is so drastically different.
00;41;35;03 – 00;41;59;08
Unknown
Not that one is right or one is wrong. No, they’re just drastically, drastically different. So how could you be in both of those places? So let us know in the comments. Yeah, let us know on the Facebook page. Let us know somewhere on the ethos, you know, share our videos like and subscribe. Whatever can. Empathy and judgment, discernment, critical opinions exist in the same place?
00;41;59;10 – 00;42;20;20
Unknown
All right, read us our hippie view to take us out. And then I’ll read us the affirmation card. Okay, so today we are doing The High Priestess, which is intuition. I think we’ve had this before. The High Priestess indicates it’s time for learning so she can represent a teacher or spiritual guide. If you are reading for another person, it can show that they are ready to open up spiritually or have or to find an educational course.
00;42;20;22 – 00;42;37;06
Unknown
An additional meeting is needed to spend more time alone and connect with your inner self. There may be a secret around you or a new situation that is yet to unfold. Someone may take you into their confidence. So some of the advice keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself just now and respect other secrets as well as your own.
00;42;37;11 – 00;43;06;09
Unknown
Take time to concentrate on your spiritual interests and listen to your intuition. The right teacher will appear when you are ready for the lesson. Right? No, not ready for the lesson. Hahahahaha. And mine says I know that I can manifest all that my heart desires. I am ready to receive interesting. All right. Dooby doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo on a high note, ladies.
00;43;06;12 – 00;43;43;01
Unknown
That’s right, I loved that. Me too. Isn’t empathy amazing? Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all that sympathy stuff. That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to More Love the Power of Empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
