Erin [00:00:00]: In our relationship. This Bali example for me is I’m actually, before I even tell you, I’m going to Bali, thinking about how that’s going to impact us, and then we can make a decision codependently together about what that looks like moving forward.
Rebecca [00:00:16]: Yeah.
Erin [00:00:25]: Hey, it’s me, Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside, but the truth is she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes.
Rebecca [00:00:45]: Hey, bestie.
Erin [00:00:46]: Hi, love.
Rebecca [00:00:47]: What are you doing?
Erin [00:00:48]: Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast.
Rebecca [00:00:50]: A podcast about what?
Erin [00:00:53]: Life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters.
Scott [00:00:57]: Ah, yay.
Rebecca [00:00:58]: I love us. And I can’t wait to share our.
Erin [00:01:00]: Stories with the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right. To be our most authentic selves.
Rebecca [00:01:07]: Oh, man. Okay.
Erin [00:01:13]: Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming to the More Love podcast. Today’s episode’s gonna be 30 minutes long because we have decided that we’re going to try and truncate the amount of time that we are talking to everyone. Rebecca, could you please start us with some hippie voodoo chat?
Rebecca [00:01:24]: Sure, sure. I picked it really quick. I picked it really quick, and it seems to be the same phone always getting so I don’t even need to read it because it’s all about luck. It’s the ten of Pentacles. So basically, windfall is calling our way. And they keep saying that. I keep waiting for the damn windfall. It’s not here yet.
Erin [00:01:39]: Thank you very much. Our affirmation card for the day. I know that my dreams are bigger than my fears. I’m going to take risks. Okay, Now I don’t know what to do next.
Rebecca [00:01:46]: I don’t know what to do next.
Erin [00:01:48]: But don’t worry, I got my. I got this shirt on. Everyone see that?
Rebecca [00:01:52]: I got this.
Erin [00:01:52]: I got this shirt on.
Rebecca [00:01:53]: Okay.
Erin [00:01:54]: Do I have the highest.
Scott [00:01:55]: See the words?
Erin [00:01:56]: Oh, you didn’t.
Scott [00:01:57]: Oh, okay. No, I just want an excuse to make you do that again.
Erin [00:02:03]: Oh, my God. Am I anxious as I’ll get out right now? Absolutely. Because we have a 30 minute clock running, and I am gonna show you in real time what happens to me when we have to flip something up and try something different. So everyone’s gonna get the real and raw today. Okay, but are you really gonna do the hippie boo or was that really it?
Rebecca [00:02:25]: That was it. It was the luck card.
Erin [00:02:28]: Okay.
Rebecca [00:02:28]: Basically, a windfall’s coming. That’s what it means. We’ve been getting this a couple of times. I just said to you. I’m like, how come we keep picking the same ones?
Erin [00:02:34]: And what did I say to you?
Scott [00:02:35]: It’s almost a week late. We already saw the windfall.
Erin [00:02:38]: Yeah, true. And what did I say to you? You just haven’t learned the lesson yet.
Rebecca [00:02:42]: I mean, that’s a nice lesson.
Erin [00:02:45]: That is the worst sound in the world. It’s so bad.
Rebecca [00:02:48]: I know.
Scott [00:02:49]: Splashing and it’s so gross.
Erin [00:02:51]: Ugh.
Scott [00:02:52]: Mind you, college.
Erin [00:02:57]: Okay. What about windfall? Something about windfall.
Rebecca [00:02:59]: Yeah. Supposedly somebody’s getting a windfall. Meaning luck? Money. Yeah, something.
Erin [00:03:06]: Oh, hopefully it’s.
Rebecca [00:03:07]: I’m waiting for it.
Erin [00:03:08]: Yeah.
Scott [00:03:09]: Does that mean that it’s, like, one of us here?
Rebecca [00:03:12]: Yeah. Well. Or maybe a listener. Maybe it’s a listener down the street.
Scott [00:03:15]: Just won the lottery. Good for him.
Rebecca [00:03:17]: Really? Oh, no. Was that real, or you’re just making that up?
Scott [00:03:20]: No, no, no, no. I’m just saying.
Erin [00:03:21]: No, it’s probably Joe.
Rebecca [00:03:22]: Yeah, it’s Joe.
Erin [00:03:23]: He deserves it. Out of all of us.
Rebecca [00:03:25]: Yeah, he’s.
Scott [00:03:26]: He’s. You know, they’re expecting a baby.
Erin [00:03:28]: Oh, when? That’s great.
Scott [00:03:33]: When’s the due date?
Erin [00:03:35]: May.
Scott [00:03:36]: May.
Rebecca [00:03:36]: Oh, that’s so wonderful.
Erin [00:03:39]: First one.
Rebecca [00:03:40]: Is this your first baby?
Scott [00:03:41]: It’s their. Yeah. Yeah.
Erin [00:03:44]: What do you mean? Together? What does that mean? So he’s like, yeah, it’s their first baby together. They each independently have 16 children.
Scott [00:03:50]: Has. Has a child already that he’s raising as his own, and now they’re having one together.
Rebecca [00:03:56]: Do we know? Do we know what it is? I should really.
Scott [00:03:59]: You know, we should really just have Joe on.
Rebecca [00:04:01]: I know.
Scott [00:04:01]: I’m like his servant interpreter. Or last.
Rebecca [00:04:04]: Whatever better word.
Erin [00:04:05]: We like Joe. Well, congratulations, Joe.
Scott [00:04:07]: Congratulations, Joe.
Erin [00:04:09]: And Joe’s. He said fiance.
Scott [00:04:11]: Yeah. Haley and Haley.
Erin [00:04:13]: Congratulations. Bring that little noodle in here. We’re gonna love it right up and then give it right back. So I think we should tell people about the fact that I was gonna go to Bali, and then you decided that that wasn’t gonna happen. No, you decided. I think we should.
Rebecca [00:04:31]: You wanted to go, and then you realized you couldn’t go because then we’re no longer.
Erin [00:04:34]: What’s the empathy theme with this? When you’re trying to take a beautiful journey and your best friend says, put that shit on hold for the next decade because I’m not ready. That’s. That’s what today’s episode’s about.
Rebecca [00:04:46]: No, you. You called me because I called you six Times one morning and you weren’t answering and you’re like, I’m in my somatic yoga. Yeah. Lesson or whatever. And I said, excuse me, you can.
Erin [00:04:59]: Heal all the trauma now.
Rebecca [00:05:07]: You idiot. You’re an idiot. I.
Erin [00:05:10]: If, if you’re going to tell that story, that is the story, which is the pre poly story that I have to the somatic, somatic yoga experience that I had. All right, okay. It’s four minutes and 57 seconds. I’m just looking at my time. Wake up. Make this real quick. Okay. So I’m now doing somatic yoga therapy. And the reason I’m doing somatic yoga therapy is because I could do all the talk therapy in the world and it’s not getting me where it is that I need to be. What I need to be doing is reconnecting my body with what my mind is telling me because I just have a tendency to just listen to what my mind says and like, not focus on my body during the day. So I was really skeptical at first. I thought I was going to be like in this yoga room by myself making all these crazy guttural noises and it wasn’t going to be great for anyone. And I was really skeptical of, it turns out, probably top three experiences of my entire life. I love this woman so much. And so what I was doing in this one session was I told her I wanted to work on sitting with discomfort because when something gets uncomfortable for me, I have a tendency to just really quickly move on or do something different. So if I’m hungry, I don’t sit with the hunger. I go to Taco Bell. If I am anxious about something, I don’t sit with the anxiety. I quickly move it out of the way and say, we’re not doing that right now. We’re doing this other thing. So I wanted to sit with the discomfort. So I’m in my yoga therapy session and she has me take my left ear and pull it to my left shoulder. And she’s keeping it there for what in my mind is too long of a time. I’m ready to move to my right shoulder. So she’s like, how does this position feel for you? And I’m like, oh, it’s okay. You know, it’s not my favorite position. I’m ready to switch over to the other side. And she says, great, we’re going to stay there a little longer. And I’m like, why? I want to go do this. You just want to. What do you mean? What do you mean? She had me in this frickin position with my ear down to my shoulder. No joke. Like 12 minutes. It was fricking forever and so ever.
Rebecca [00:07:26]: It was probably 1 minute and 30 seconds.
Erin [00:07:27]: Oh, it probably was. It probably was. So I got my head down and she’s like, you know, what does this feeling feel like for you? I’m like, not great. It’s actually getting more and more uncomfortable the more I say her. She’s like great. And then she’s really nice. She’s not like you, who would be like, oh, keep it there for 45 minutes.
Rebecca [00:07:44]: You know, count it down.
Erin [00:07:45]: She’s like, if we can tolerate it a little longer, let’s see what comes up for us if we have our head like that, right? So then I have to do this breathing technique where I breathe into that position. So if that’s the part of my body that needs some care and some support, then I have to do this breathing into that position, which is great for me because I’m super visual. So I end up doing that. And finally she allows me to reconcile and move my head over to the other side. And right before I’m about to move my head over to the other side, I hear me, me, me, me. Which is, I guarantee you, I’m like, that is frickin Rebecca. That is. I have my phone on silent, but it’s still vibrating. So I’m in the midst of the depths of my discomfort. Me, me, me. So Rebecca, I’m like, it’s fine. I can’t see my phone. It’s obviously not with me. Whatever. We carry on through the different activities, we move on to another activity that also makes me feel uncomfortable. And then I’m able to sit with it a little while longer in the midst of me reaching forward and trying to whatever me. Who is it? It’s Rebecca again. She’s all upset. Basically, I come out of yoga therapy feeling completely refreshed into a text message from Rebecca that says, excuse me, whatever. The time was 9 8:53. I have still not heard from you what is going on. Right. And so I. That was the pre story to Bali. So what happens next? I get on the phone with you.
Rebecca [00:09:20]: And I say, what are you doing? You always call me at a certain time and you didn’t call and then you’re not answering and you said, well I was in my somatic yoga. I said we’re all done with that because you can fix all the traumas in your life that you want. But this trauma train, this trauma train between me and you is a full on stuff steam Engine with steel’s tracks. All right, so don’t touch that with the ten foot pole because I’m not doing the work.
Erin [00:09:43]: You’re there healing all your trauma. Well, not this trauma. This traumas keep coming at you down the track full speed ahead.
Rebecca [00:09:51]: Full speed. So on that note. And then you’re like.
Erin [00:09:55]: And she’s not kidding, folks. She’s not kidding. She’s basically like, you can heal all you freaking want to, but I’m not in that place. And so you’re not going anywhere without this. I think you said this codependency trauma trains keep.
Rebecca [00:10:08]: That’s right, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right.
Erin [00:10:10]: Don’t be healing yourself out of codependency, because we’re not doing that. That’s basically what she said. I died. I was hilarious.
Rebecca [00:10:18]: And then you decided that you were gonna go to Bali, right, To become.
Erin [00:10:21]: So Rebecca has a friend who’s currently in Bali that’s doing like this really amazing somatic yoga.
Rebecca [00:10:28]: She wants to be the. The instructor.
Erin [00:10:30]: She wants to be the instructor. She’s so she’s super intensive experience in Bali and is swearing by it and is also saying, wow, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to come back and rejoin certain parts of my life just seamlessly because I’ve done a tremendous amount of somatic body trauma work against some of these things that are happening in my life. I can’t just all of a sudden re.
Rebecca [00:10:56]: Enter.
Erin [00:10:56]: Show back up and be like reentering.
Rebecca [00:10:59]: Into the world when you’ve been in prison list. Yeah, for Right.
Erin [00:11:04]: Four months or whatever. These people are not okay. And I completely healed now. And I know they’re really not okay, but yeah, let’s have Thanksgiving dinner, whatever. So I then realized in that moment, as I’m now undressing, getting in the shower, bringing Rebecca into the shower.
Rebecca [00:11:20]: That’s right.
Erin [00:11:20]: That’s what we do. Put her on the shower stall. We end up having this very in depth, beautiful conversation about how I can’t go to Bali. And that conversation essentially starts.
Rebecca [00:11:32]: Well, no, no, no. You say, I think our next, our next process in our journey is to go deeper and yeah, really, really get in touch with our emotions and, you know, all these things. And that’s when I brought up the Bali situation.
Erin [00:11:49]: What was the first thing I recommended to you?
Rebecca [00:11:52]: I don’t remember that.
Erin [00:11:53]: We connect with the woman that we.
Rebecca [00:11:55]: Had on our show to do Intimacy.
Erin [00:11:57]: Intimacy Talk Coach.
Rebecca [00:11:59]: Yeah.
Erin [00:12:00]: And I said, don’t touch me and I’m not Touching you. But we need to talk about how we can have better intimacy, which really forms vulnerability and that we need to do that with each other instead of with our spouses. Because that’s what’s going to help us, you know, unlock. Right, like we’re not touching each other.
Rebecca [00:12:18]: And I said, you said the day I eye gaze with you.
Erin [00:12:24]: I am.
Rebecca [00:12:25]: Not going to happen.
Erin [00:12:26]: Eye gazing. And so what did I say?
Rebecca [00:12:28]: That’s when you said, listen, the things you resist is what you need.
Erin [00:12:31]: No, I said, I’m gonna start talking to you.
Rebecca [00:12:34]: Oh yeah, like when I’m self. You’re right, right, right.
Erin [00:12:37]: I’m going to say, Rebecca, take your eyes.
Rebecca [00:12:42]: I can’t, I can’t take your eyes.
Erin [00:12:44]: Put them here. Focus, focus, focus here. What’s happening for you?
Rebecca [00:12:50]: No, I can’t be friends with you if that’s how you’re gonna talk.
Erin [00:12:52]: That’s what you said. I can’t. I said, so much for the, so much for the codependency trauma train. So anyway, I said, well, that fine. I’m going to Bali. I’m going to go to Bali. I’m not going to be a yoga instructor. I’m going to pretend I want to be a yoga instructor just so that I can get the healing journey done. And I’m going to go and I’m going to do all of this stuff.
Rebecca [00:13:12]: And I said, if you come back wearing hippie Harlem pants and huaraches, yeah, definitely out.
Erin [00:13:17]: And I said, I will do that and talk slalom. And then you said, true Rebecca fashion. Listen, I’m not opposed to this, but can we just put this off for you know, like 10 years? Right? I said 10 years. What do you mean 10 years? And you’re like, listen, I got a lot of shit that has to get done. I gotta get my kids through school. Like now’s not the time for me to be undone. I’m like, 10 years?
Rebecca [00:13:48]: Yeah. You’re like, we’re gonna be 65. I go, that sounds great. I think that actually sounds really good.
Erin [00:13:56]: I think I said we’re going to be like 45. And I’m like, oh, wait, 10 years? We’re already basically 45. Well, you are. Yeah, basically 45. So I, she then tries to convince me we can’t do it for 10 years. And I said, I can’t wait for 10 years. And that’s when I have this massive epiphany which is I cannot be more self actualized than the number one bonded person I have in my life. This is what this is What? This is what the today’s whole show is. And we got freaking five minutes left basically to talk about this. But the whole show is what happens when you become more self actualized than the number one bonded pair that you have. I don’t care if that’s your partner, if that’s your best friend, if that is a other family member. So in this moment, I was half joking and no, it’s serious, half more than half serious, that I can’t go to Bali and do all the stuff. And I might be at that place in my life where I’m like, I’m ready to do all this stuff, bring it all on. Because then I’m gonna come back to Rochester, New York and you’re gonna call me my first day back from Bali and you’re gonna start talking to me about something that is no longer serving you, is in my level of care because I’ve gotten rid of everything else. And in that moment, our relationship is forever changed. And I can’t remember the example I used with you on the phone, but basically we were playing out this skit. Cause that’s what we do, right?
Rebecca [00:15:59]: I can’t remember either. I just remember saying, I think it was something like, it was something near like, there is no. Oh, what was it? It was probably something incredibly inappropriate. That’s why I can’t recall it.
Erin [00:16:12]: No, you blocked it out. No, you said something like, you said something. It’s not like soccer practice or whatever, but you’re like, oh, I gotta go do this thing with soccer practice. And I’m like, there is no soccer pract.
Rebecca [00:16:23]: Correct, Right.
Erin [00:16:25]: Like that’s a figment to exist.
Rebecca [00:16:28]: And I’m like, oh God, here we go. However, I will say though, immediately in right now and in our conversation, if it’s something that you truly desire, even if I’m resistant of it, and I know that in order for you to be successful, I too would have to come along. I would do it.
Erin [00:16:47]: That is love.
Rebecca [00:16:48]: I would do it.
Erin [00:16:49]: That is love. I love that.
Rebecca [00:16:51]: Would I give you the side eye.
Erin [00:16:52]: The intention, that trip to Bali, that whole trip.
Rebecca [00:16:56]: Would I, after the debrief, have to. We couldn’t fun of that chance.
Erin [00:17:01]: We couldn’t be sitting next to each other at the yoga sessions.
Rebecca [00:17:05]: Oh, not a chance. Not a chance. However, but.
Erin [00:17:08]: But this is.
Rebecca [00:17:10]: And would I figure it out and would I go and truly look at X, Y and Z?
Erin [00:17:20]: Yes.
Rebecca [00:17:21]: I know at the end of the.
Erin [00:17:22]: Day and you know what the love feels like on my side. I know that you’re not in a place where you can do that right now.
Rebecca [00:17:28]: That’s why you would hold off.
Erin [00:17:29]: So I will hold off and say.
Rebecca [00:17:31]: And then we will meet.
Erin [00:17:32]: We’re gonna. 10 years.
Rebecca [00:17:33]: It’ll be fine.
Erin [00:17:33]: We’re gonna do stargazing instead of eye gazing.
Rebecca [00:17:37]: This is her manipulation. Manipulation. She’s like, all right, she’s not ready for Bali. However, I’m going to have another guest. All the guests are going to start to. I’m going to see a pattern. I’m going to see a pattern.
Erin [00:17:48]: She’s.
Rebecca [00:17:49]: She’s setting it up. Setting it up real. She’s like, I just got to.
Erin [00:17:54]: I just got to get the More Love podcast. We’re talking about denial. Yep.
Rebecca [00:18:01]: I can say first of the year. She’s like, merry Christmas. I got you some somatic yoga sessions. Merry Christmas. I can see it. I can see it now.
Erin [00:18:10]: Caitlin, do you want to be on the who’s My Yoga? My yoga. Did you want to just be on the podcast? Great.
Rebecca [00:18:16]: No, but in all reality, I know because I do believe that’s true. Unless you are on. When you are so close with someone, you. It’s that idea of being open minded, being able to see the other person, being able to celebrate and support. It’s not. You just can’t do it from afar. You gotta be all in. And it’s the same thing with a marriage and a partnership. That’s why relationships break down. Because if you’re steadfast on that. The path you’re on and the other person’s dead path on the other. And they. They don’t. They’re not parallel. Sometimes they’re parallel. Right. Other times they’re just not. And then it is forever changed.
Erin [00:18:50]: Yep.
Rebecca [00:18:50]: That’s really hard to come back from. Yep. Really hard.
Erin [00:18:53]: And sometimes I don’t think you realize it until it happened 100%. Right. And all of a sudden, you’re sitting in separate rooms watching separate things on tv and you’re like, oh, wow. Like, we’re not at all aligned with where we were or what we. What we wanted. But what’s so fascinating to me about our relationship is it’s the closest thing in my life that I can imagine from a true love partnership where you caretake for that person and that person caretakes for you in such a beautiful way that you grow your life together. Right? Right. And so this Bali example, as stupidly realistic as it might be, is such a great example of how. I’m not kidding. I might be ready to go to Bali. I might be just At a place in my life where I’m ready to do that. But if I haven’t stopped to think, what does that look like to then reintegrate back into my life and what does that mean I can keep or not keep if I do that? And I think that there’s a lot of marriages that are likely in this spot because one partner is a little further along than the other partner is in their journey. And then you reach this tug where you’re like, I can continue moving forward, which is something I crave for myself. But I’m so aware that in doing so, I’m creating more distance between myself and my partner, which already sometimes feels unmanageable. Right. That I don’t want that. And so if you in our relationship, this Bali example for me is I’m actually, before I even tell you I’m going to Bali, thinking about how that’s going to impact us, and then we can make a decision codependently together about what that looks like moving forward. Yeah, but what you just said is so important. If at the end of the day you really feel that I’m like, I’m not going to be a whole human if we don’t do this right? Or if I don’t do this, you probably would be like, all right, I support you going to do it. And then at the very last minute, your ass shows up at the airport, and I didn’t expect it. And you got your frickin right. What’d you call them? Hoebag pants?
Rebecca [00:21:11]: Not hobag. No, Harlem. Harlem genie pants.
Erin [00:21:15]: Right. You’re like, all right, I can let her go do it. I can let her go. Right? And then at the last minute, there you are pulling up to the Rochester airport, running up in your weird ass outfit.
Rebecca [00:21:24]: I know.
Erin [00:21:25]: This is so crazy.
Rebecca [00:21:26]: I also think that it comes down to I’m not afraid. I don’t fear change. And I’m not. I don’t fear that certain things coming into our relationship are going to tear our relationship apart. What I fear is if we don’t try it together, that’s when it could potentially not necessarily. Because I feel like I’m. Both of us are pretty open minded and come like, do we razz each other and do we give each other a lot of crap when it comes to certain things, but at the end of the day, we’re both like, okay, tell me more. All right, I want to know more about that. I, I can’t tell you how many times when I took. Going back to the timeline on the Freaking.
Erin [00:22:08]: Oh, yeah. Web favorite.
Rebecca [00:22:09]: Yeah. I can’t tell you how many times I have called Aaron and said, listen to me, you need to take off this date to this date, because I have this opportunity to do this, and they gave me a free ticket. And, yes, I signed you up. And you have never questioned me. No, never.
Erin [00:22:26]: I know.
Rebecca [00:22:26]: I mean, there are times you’re like, ooh. And I’m like, I’m. This is an observation, Aaron. This has nothing to do with us. This is just an observation on how we could maybe use this information. There is at least 10 times. And I’m talking get on a plane and go to California. I’m talking, get in the car, we’re gonna go sleep in someone we don’t know’s basement. I’m. There have been so many circumstances that that has happened. Have you done the same for me? Yes.
Erin [00:22:58]: Mine’s a little more tame and also happens in a more expected cadence, but, yes, yes.
Rebecca [00:23:04]: But that’s only because things come out of the fre. Side view for me, and I. And then I immediately think, oh, my God, that’s it.
Erin [00:23:12]: Because we’ve talked about this before. What have I always said? If we’re going somewhere, like, if we’re going to make it to the big time, it’s not because of me. It’s not my. It’s not my connections. It’s not my calculatedness. It’s some random ass person that you met somewhere that you made some connection to that all of a sudden, I’m so clear about that.
Rebecca [00:23:35]: That component. But we wouldn’t have a product without you.
Erin [00:23:39]: Oh, well, thank you.
Rebecca [00:23:41]: We wouldn’t have something that somebody would care about without you.
Erin [00:23:45]: But that’s why. That’s why the hitch works.
Rebecca [00:23:48]: That’s right.
Erin [00:23:49]: Because I can have a product all day, but if it’s not going anywhere by, you know, Susie Q that I met at the coffee shop. Right.
Rebecca [00:23:57]: Or the. You know, the clown mime.
Erin [00:24:00]: Oh, yeah.
Rebecca [00:24:00]: Who’s the talent manager.
Erin [00:24:02]: Whatever. Whatever. He’s still spinning his plates. He never got back to me. Whatever. Asshole.
Rebecca [00:24:08]: So to wrap this.
Erin [00:24:13]: I think we did great. I think we did great. I just don’t know how to end it now. So now I’m like. Now I’m like.
Rebecca [00:24:18]: This is the lesson here. The lesson here, Scott, what’s the lesson?
Erin [00:24:21]: What’s the lesson, Scott? Did we. Did we talk about it enough? He wasn’t even listening. Oh, my God.
Scott [00:24:27]: No, I was listening. I just don’t. I’m not smart enough to pull the lesson.
Rebecca [00:24:32]: The lesson is you have to deeply and genuinely listen from a part of your soul to somebody who matters to you and what they’re trying to communicate. And if it means enough in your relationship, not only will you support, you will participate.
Erin [00:24:52]: What she said and build with yes, not build in spite of.
Rebecca [00:24:56]: Correct. And if you are having those feelings that you’re not wanting to, you’re resistant, you’re whatever, and you sit with those, and you. You feel all those through, then just know the relationship will change. And maybe that’s fine, because I do believe relationships serve a season, serve a purpose. They come to an end. You don’t have to have a disagreement. You don’t have to have anything negative happen. They just fizzle out.
Erin [00:25:22]: You feel that way about our relationship?
Rebecca [00:25:24]: Yeah. Okay.
Scott [00:25:25]: Like a pair of jeans.
Rebecca [00:25:27]: Yeah.
Erin [00:25:27]: Our relationship, too. Are you okay with us fizzling you little codependent down the track?
Rebecca [00:25:32]: That’s my point. I will freaking, at the end of the day, go to freaking Bali.
Erin [00:25:35]: I was gonna say, you guys. You know what I’m hearing? We go in the Bali.
Rebecca [00:25:42]: 2025. 5. I loved that.
Erin [00:25:47]: Me, too. Isn’t empathy amazing?
Rebecca [00:25:50]: Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this time.
Scott [00:25:53]: I want to learn more about the basement story.
Erin [00:25:56]: Oh, God.
Scott [00:25:57]: Sleeping in some strange.
Erin [00:25:58]: I have pictures.
Rebecca [00:25:59]: I have the. I’m.
Scott [00:26:00]: Is there a well in there? And the guy’s like, no, this is.
Erin [00:26:04]: A Power Ranger outfit. There is a Power Ranger outfit. And I was the Queen of England. Yeah, fine.
Rebecca [00:26:09]: Yes.
Scott [00:26:10]: And you say you never done acid.
Erin [00:26:12]: Go figure.
Rebecca [00:26:13]: I mean, that’s just it. We’ve never. Any of our experiences have never been.
Erin [00:26:17]: I know.
Rebecca [00:26:17]: Drug related.
Scott [00:26:20]: No, no, no, no.
Erin [00:26:22]: Quick side story. I was trying to find a new therapist, so I contacted this guy who I absolutely loved, who was my therapist from a million years ago. And he was like, hello, Aaron. So great to hear from you. We did such great work together. I now work out of Jamaica. One week on, one week off. I’m like, this is starting off well. That sounds great. But what I focus on now is shooting people with frog poison and psychedelics, doing psychedelic journeys to really get to the root of those concerns. I also charged $250.
Rebecca [00:26:59]: No insurance.
Erin [00:27:01]: No insurance. If you’re interested. Hit me back up. I’m like, the last thing my ass needs is frog poison shot in my butt cheek.
Rebecca [00:27:14]: I don’t think they put it there.
Erin [00:27:15]: I don’t care where they put it. I will straight up die. I will hallucinate myself into a quick death.
Scott [00:27:23]: Make sure you join our toad Lickers Facebook group.
Erin [00:27:27]: $250 an hour, no insurance, no thanks. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the Power of Empathy podcast. Wherever you get your podcast.
Rebecca [00:27:43]: See you next time.
Rebecca [00:00:16]: Yeah.
Erin [00:00:25]: Hey, it’s me, Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside, but the truth is she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes.
Rebecca [00:00:45]: Hey, bestie.
Erin [00:00:46]: Hi, love.
Rebecca [00:00:47]: What are you doing?
Erin [00:00:48]: Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast.
Rebecca [00:00:50]: A podcast about what?
Erin [00:00:53]: Life. Our life as best friends who are more like sisters.
Scott [00:00:57]: Ah, yay.
Rebecca [00:00:58]: I love us. And I can’t wait to share our.
Erin [00:01:00]: Stories with the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right. To be our most authentic selves.
Rebecca [00:01:07]: Oh, man. Okay.
Erin [00:01:13]: Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming to the More Love podcast. Today’s episode’s gonna be 30 minutes long because we have decided that we’re going to try and truncate the amount of time that we are talking to everyone. Rebecca, could you please start us with some hippie voodoo chat?
Rebecca [00:01:24]: Sure, sure. I picked it really quick. I picked it really quick, and it seems to be the same phone always getting so I don’t even need to read it because it’s all about luck. It’s the ten of Pentacles. So basically, windfall is calling our way. And they keep saying that. I keep waiting for the damn windfall. It’s not here yet.
Erin [00:01:39]: Thank you very much. Our affirmation card for the day. I know that my dreams are bigger than my fears. I’m going to take risks. Okay, Now I don’t know what to do next.
Rebecca [00:01:46]: I don’t know what to do next.
Erin [00:01:48]: But don’t worry, I got my. I got this shirt on. Everyone see that?
Rebecca [00:01:52]: I got this.
Erin [00:01:52]: I got this shirt on.
Rebecca [00:01:53]: Okay.
Erin [00:01:54]: Do I have the highest.
Scott [00:01:55]: See the words?
Erin [00:01:56]: Oh, you didn’t.
Scott [00:01:57]: Oh, okay. No, I just want an excuse to make you do that again.
Erin [00:02:03]: Oh, my God. Am I anxious as I’ll get out right now? Absolutely. Because we have a 30 minute clock running, and I am gonna show you in real time what happens to me when we have to flip something up and try something different. So everyone’s gonna get the real and raw today. Okay, but are you really gonna do the hippie boo or was that really it?
Rebecca [00:02:25]: That was it. It was the luck card.
Erin [00:02:28]: Okay.
Rebecca [00:02:28]: Basically, a windfall’s coming. That’s what it means. We’ve been getting this a couple of times. I just said to you. I’m like, how come we keep picking the same ones?
Erin [00:02:34]: And what did I say to you?
Scott [00:02:35]: It’s almost a week late. We already saw the windfall.
Erin [00:02:38]: Yeah, true. And what did I say to you? You just haven’t learned the lesson yet.
Rebecca [00:02:42]: I mean, that’s a nice lesson.
Erin [00:02:45]: That is the worst sound in the world. It’s so bad.
Rebecca [00:02:48]: I know.
Scott [00:02:49]: Splashing and it’s so gross.
Erin [00:02:51]: Ugh.
Scott [00:02:52]: Mind you, college.
Erin [00:02:57]: Okay. What about windfall? Something about windfall.
Rebecca [00:02:59]: Yeah. Supposedly somebody’s getting a windfall. Meaning luck? Money. Yeah, something.
Erin [00:03:06]: Oh, hopefully it’s.
Rebecca [00:03:07]: I’m waiting for it.
Erin [00:03:08]: Yeah.
Scott [00:03:09]: Does that mean that it’s, like, one of us here?
Rebecca [00:03:12]: Yeah. Well. Or maybe a listener. Maybe it’s a listener down the street.
Scott [00:03:15]: Just won the lottery. Good for him.
Rebecca [00:03:17]: Really? Oh, no. Was that real, or you’re just making that up?
Scott [00:03:20]: No, no, no, no. I’m just saying.
Erin [00:03:21]: No, it’s probably Joe.
Rebecca [00:03:22]: Yeah, it’s Joe.
Erin [00:03:23]: He deserves it. Out of all of us.
Rebecca [00:03:25]: Yeah, he’s.
Scott [00:03:26]: He’s. You know, they’re expecting a baby.
Erin [00:03:28]: Oh, when? That’s great.
Scott [00:03:33]: When’s the due date?
Erin [00:03:35]: May.
Scott [00:03:36]: May.
Rebecca [00:03:36]: Oh, that’s so wonderful.
Erin [00:03:39]: First one.
Rebecca [00:03:40]: Is this your first baby?
Scott [00:03:41]: It’s their. Yeah. Yeah.
Erin [00:03:44]: What do you mean? Together? What does that mean? So he’s like, yeah, it’s their first baby together. They each independently have 16 children.
Scott [00:03:50]: Has. Has a child already that he’s raising as his own, and now they’re having one together.
Rebecca [00:03:56]: Do we know? Do we know what it is? I should really.
Scott [00:03:59]: You know, we should really just have Joe on.
Rebecca [00:04:01]: I know.
Scott [00:04:01]: I’m like his servant interpreter. Or last.
Rebecca [00:04:04]: Whatever better word.
Erin [00:04:05]: We like Joe. Well, congratulations, Joe.
Scott [00:04:07]: Congratulations, Joe.
Erin [00:04:09]: And Joe’s. He said fiance.
Scott [00:04:11]: Yeah. Haley and Haley.
Erin [00:04:13]: Congratulations. Bring that little noodle in here. We’re gonna love it right up and then give it right back. So I think we should tell people about the fact that I was gonna go to Bali, and then you decided that that wasn’t gonna happen. No, you decided. I think we should.
Rebecca [00:04:31]: You wanted to go, and then you realized you couldn’t go because then we’re no longer.
Erin [00:04:34]: What’s the empathy theme with this? When you’re trying to take a beautiful journey and your best friend says, put that shit on hold for the next decade because I’m not ready. That’s. That’s what today’s episode’s about.
Rebecca [00:04:46]: No, you. You called me because I called you six Times one morning and you weren’t answering and you’re like, I’m in my somatic yoga. Yeah. Lesson or whatever. And I said, excuse me, you can.
Erin [00:04:59]: Heal all the trauma now.
Rebecca [00:05:07]: You idiot. You’re an idiot. I.
Erin [00:05:10]: If, if you’re going to tell that story, that is the story, which is the pre poly story that I have to the somatic, somatic yoga experience that I had. All right, okay. It’s four minutes and 57 seconds. I’m just looking at my time. Wake up. Make this real quick. Okay. So I’m now doing somatic yoga therapy. And the reason I’m doing somatic yoga therapy is because I could do all the talk therapy in the world and it’s not getting me where it is that I need to be. What I need to be doing is reconnecting my body with what my mind is telling me because I just have a tendency to just listen to what my mind says and like, not focus on my body during the day. So I was really skeptical at first. I thought I was going to be like in this yoga room by myself making all these crazy guttural noises and it wasn’t going to be great for anyone. And I was really skeptical of, it turns out, probably top three experiences of my entire life. I love this woman so much. And so what I was doing in this one session was I told her I wanted to work on sitting with discomfort because when something gets uncomfortable for me, I have a tendency to just really quickly move on or do something different. So if I’m hungry, I don’t sit with the hunger. I go to Taco Bell. If I am anxious about something, I don’t sit with the anxiety. I quickly move it out of the way and say, we’re not doing that right now. We’re doing this other thing. So I wanted to sit with the discomfort. So I’m in my yoga therapy session and she has me take my left ear and pull it to my left shoulder. And she’s keeping it there for what in my mind is too long of a time. I’m ready to move to my right shoulder. So she’s like, how does this position feel for you? And I’m like, oh, it’s okay. You know, it’s not my favorite position. I’m ready to switch over to the other side. And she says, great, we’re going to stay there a little longer. And I’m like, why? I want to go do this. You just want to. What do you mean? What do you mean? She had me in this frickin position with my ear down to my shoulder. No joke. Like 12 minutes. It was fricking forever and so ever.
Rebecca [00:07:26]: It was probably 1 minute and 30 seconds.
Erin [00:07:27]: Oh, it probably was. It probably was. So I got my head down and she’s like, you know, what does this feeling feel like for you? I’m like, not great. It’s actually getting more and more uncomfortable the more I say her. She’s like great. And then she’s really nice. She’s not like you, who would be like, oh, keep it there for 45 minutes.
Rebecca [00:07:44]: You know, count it down.
Erin [00:07:45]: She’s like, if we can tolerate it a little longer, let’s see what comes up for us if we have our head like that, right? So then I have to do this breathing technique where I breathe into that position. So if that’s the part of my body that needs some care and some support, then I have to do this breathing into that position, which is great for me because I’m super visual. So I end up doing that. And finally she allows me to reconcile and move my head over to the other side. And right before I’m about to move my head over to the other side, I hear me, me, me, me. Which is, I guarantee you, I’m like, that is frickin Rebecca. That is. I have my phone on silent, but it’s still vibrating. So I’m in the midst of the depths of my discomfort. Me, me, me. So Rebecca, I’m like, it’s fine. I can’t see my phone. It’s obviously not with me. Whatever. We carry on through the different activities, we move on to another activity that also makes me feel uncomfortable. And then I’m able to sit with it a little while longer in the midst of me reaching forward and trying to whatever me. Who is it? It’s Rebecca again. She’s all upset. Basically, I come out of yoga therapy feeling completely refreshed into a text message from Rebecca that says, excuse me, whatever. The time was 9 8:53. I have still not heard from you what is going on. Right. And so I. That was the pre story to Bali. So what happens next? I get on the phone with you.
Rebecca [00:09:20]: And I say, what are you doing? You always call me at a certain time and you didn’t call and then you’re not answering and you said, well I was in my somatic yoga. I said we’re all done with that because you can fix all the traumas in your life that you want. But this trauma train, this trauma train between me and you is a full on stuff steam Engine with steel’s tracks. All right, so don’t touch that with the ten foot pole because I’m not doing the work.
Erin [00:09:43]: You’re there healing all your trauma. Well, not this trauma. This traumas keep coming at you down the track full speed ahead.
Rebecca [00:09:51]: Full speed. So on that note. And then you’re like.
Erin [00:09:55]: And she’s not kidding, folks. She’s not kidding. She’s basically like, you can heal all you freaking want to, but I’m not in that place. And so you’re not going anywhere without this. I think you said this codependency trauma trains keep.
Rebecca [00:10:08]: That’s right, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right.
Erin [00:10:10]: Don’t be healing yourself out of codependency, because we’re not doing that. That’s basically what she said. I died. I was hilarious.
Rebecca [00:10:18]: And then you decided that you were gonna go to Bali, right, To become.
Erin [00:10:21]: So Rebecca has a friend who’s currently in Bali that’s doing like this really amazing somatic yoga.
Rebecca [00:10:28]: She wants to be the. The instructor.
Erin [00:10:30]: She wants to be the instructor. She’s so she’s super intensive experience in Bali and is swearing by it and is also saying, wow, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to come back and rejoin certain parts of my life just seamlessly because I’ve done a tremendous amount of somatic body trauma work against some of these things that are happening in my life. I can’t just all of a sudden re.
Rebecca [00:10:56]: Enter.
Erin [00:10:56]: Show back up and be like reentering.
Rebecca [00:10:59]: Into the world when you’ve been in prison list. Yeah, for Right.
Erin [00:11:04]: Four months or whatever. These people are not okay. And I completely healed now. And I know they’re really not okay, but yeah, let’s have Thanksgiving dinner, whatever. So I then realized in that moment, as I’m now undressing, getting in the shower, bringing Rebecca into the shower.
Rebecca [00:11:20]: That’s right.
Erin [00:11:20]: That’s what we do. Put her on the shower stall. We end up having this very in depth, beautiful conversation about how I can’t go to Bali. And that conversation essentially starts.
Rebecca [00:11:32]: Well, no, no, no. You say, I think our next, our next process in our journey is to go deeper and yeah, really, really get in touch with our emotions and, you know, all these things. And that’s when I brought up the Bali situation.
Erin [00:11:49]: What was the first thing I recommended to you?
Rebecca [00:11:52]: I don’t remember that.
Erin [00:11:53]: We connect with the woman that we.
Rebecca [00:11:55]: Had on our show to do Intimacy.
Erin [00:11:57]: Intimacy Talk Coach.
Rebecca [00:11:59]: Yeah.
Erin [00:12:00]: And I said, don’t touch me and I’m not Touching you. But we need to talk about how we can have better intimacy, which really forms vulnerability and that we need to do that with each other instead of with our spouses. Because that’s what’s going to help us, you know, unlock. Right, like we’re not touching each other.
Rebecca [00:12:18]: And I said, you said the day I eye gaze with you.
Erin [00:12:24]: I am.
Rebecca [00:12:25]: Not going to happen.
Erin [00:12:26]: Eye gazing. And so what did I say?
Rebecca [00:12:28]: That’s when you said, listen, the things you resist is what you need.
Erin [00:12:31]: No, I said, I’m gonna start talking to you.
Rebecca [00:12:34]: Oh yeah, like when I’m self. You’re right, right, right.
Erin [00:12:37]: I’m going to say, Rebecca, take your eyes.
Rebecca [00:12:42]: I can’t, I can’t take your eyes.
Erin [00:12:44]: Put them here. Focus, focus, focus here. What’s happening for you?
Rebecca [00:12:50]: No, I can’t be friends with you if that’s how you’re gonna talk.
Erin [00:12:52]: That’s what you said. I can’t. I said, so much for the, so much for the codependency trauma train. So anyway, I said, well, that fine. I’m going to Bali. I’m going to go to Bali. I’m not going to be a yoga instructor. I’m going to pretend I want to be a yoga instructor just so that I can get the healing journey done. And I’m going to go and I’m going to do all of this stuff.
Rebecca [00:13:12]: And I said, if you come back wearing hippie Harlem pants and huaraches, yeah, definitely out.
Erin [00:13:17]: And I said, I will do that and talk slalom. And then you said, true Rebecca fashion. Listen, I’m not opposed to this, but can we just put this off for you know, like 10 years? Right? I said 10 years. What do you mean 10 years? And you’re like, listen, I got a lot of shit that has to get done. I gotta get my kids through school. Like now’s not the time for me to be undone. I’m like, 10 years?
Rebecca [00:13:48]: Yeah. You’re like, we’re gonna be 65. I go, that sounds great. I think that actually sounds really good.
Erin [00:13:56]: I think I said we’re going to be like 45. And I’m like, oh, wait, 10 years? We’re already basically 45. Well, you are. Yeah, basically 45. So I, she then tries to convince me we can’t do it for 10 years. And I said, I can’t wait for 10 years. And that’s when I have this massive epiphany which is I cannot be more self actualized than the number one bonded person I have in my life. This is what this is What? This is what the today’s whole show is. And we got freaking five minutes left basically to talk about this. But the whole show is what happens when you become more self actualized than the number one bonded pair that you have. I don’t care if that’s your partner, if that’s your best friend, if that is a other family member. So in this moment, I was half joking and no, it’s serious, half more than half serious, that I can’t go to Bali and do all the stuff. And I might be at that place in my life where I’m like, I’m ready to do all this stuff, bring it all on. Because then I’m gonna come back to Rochester, New York and you’re gonna call me my first day back from Bali and you’re gonna start talking to me about something that is no longer serving you, is in my level of care because I’ve gotten rid of everything else. And in that moment, our relationship is forever changed. And I can’t remember the example I used with you on the phone, but basically we were playing out this skit. Cause that’s what we do, right?
Rebecca [00:15:59]: I can’t remember either. I just remember saying, I think it was something like, it was something near like, there is no. Oh, what was it? It was probably something incredibly inappropriate. That’s why I can’t recall it.
Erin [00:16:12]: No, you blocked it out. No, you said something like, you said something. It’s not like soccer practice or whatever, but you’re like, oh, I gotta go do this thing with soccer practice. And I’m like, there is no soccer pract.
Rebecca [00:16:23]: Correct, Right.
Erin [00:16:25]: Like that’s a figment to exist.
Rebecca [00:16:28]: And I’m like, oh God, here we go. However, I will say though, immediately in right now and in our conversation, if it’s something that you truly desire, even if I’m resistant of it, and I know that in order for you to be successful, I too would have to come along. I would do it.
Erin [00:16:47]: That is love.
Rebecca [00:16:48]: I would do it.
Erin [00:16:49]: That is love. I love that.
Rebecca [00:16:51]: Would I give you the side eye.
Erin [00:16:52]: The intention, that trip to Bali, that whole trip.
Rebecca [00:16:56]: Would I, after the debrief, have to. We couldn’t fun of that chance.
Erin [00:17:01]: We couldn’t be sitting next to each other at the yoga sessions.
Rebecca [00:17:05]: Oh, not a chance. Not a chance. However, but.
Erin [00:17:08]: But this is.
Rebecca [00:17:10]: And would I figure it out and would I go and truly look at X, Y and Z?
Erin [00:17:20]: Yes.
Rebecca [00:17:21]: I know at the end of the.
Erin [00:17:22]: Day and you know what the love feels like on my side. I know that you’re not in a place where you can do that right now.
Rebecca [00:17:28]: That’s why you would hold off.
Erin [00:17:29]: So I will hold off and say.
Rebecca [00:17:31]: And then we will meet.
Erin [00:17:32]: We’re gonna. 10 years.
Rebecca [00:17:33]: It’ll be fine.
Erin [00:17:33]: We’re gonna do stargazing instead of eye gazing.
Rebecca [00:17:37]: This is her manipulation. Manipulation. She’s like, all right, she’s not ready for Bali. However, I’m going to have another guest. All the guests are going to start to. I’m going to see a pattern. I’m going to see a pattern.
Erin [00:17:48]: She’s.
Rebecca [00:17:49]: She’s setting it up. Setting it up real. She’s like, I just got to.
Erin [00:17:54]: I just got to get the More Love podcast. We’re talking about denial. Yep.
Rebecca [00:18:01]: I can say first of the year. She’s like, merry Christmas. I got you some somatic yoga sessions. Merry Christmas. I can see it. I can see it now.
Erin [00:18:10]: Caitlin, do you want to be on the who’s My Yoga? My yoga. Did you want to just be on the podcast? Great.
Rebecca [00:18:16]: No, but in all reality, I know because I do believe that’s true. Unless you are on. When you are so close with someone, you. It’s that idea of being open minded, being able to see the other person, being able to celebrate and support. It’s not. You just can’t do it from afar. You gotta be all in. And it’s the same thing with a marriage and a partnership. That’s why relationships break down. Because if you’re steadfast on that. The path you’re on and the other person’s dead path on the other. And they. They don’t. They’re not parallel. Sometimes they’re parallel. Right. Other times they’re just not. And then it is forever changed.
Erin [00:18:50]: Yep.
Rebecca [00:18:50]: That’s really hard to come back from. Yep. Really hard.
Erin [00:18:53]: And sometimes I don’t think you realize it until it happened 100%. Right. And all of a sudden, you’re sitting in separate rooms watching separate things on tv and you’re like, oh, wow. Like, we’re not at all aligned with where we were or what we. What we wanted. But what’s so fascinating to me about our relationship is it’s the closest thing in my life that I can imagine from a true love partnership where you caretake for that person and that person caretakes for you in such a beautiful way that you grow your life together. Right? Right. And so this Bali example, as stupidly realistic as it might be, is such a great example of how. I’m not kidding. I might be ready to go to Bali. I might be just At a place in my life where I’m ready to do that. But if I haven’t stopped to think, what does that look like to then reintegrate back into my life and what does that mean I can keep or not keep if I do that? And I think that there’s a lot of marriages that are likely in this spot because one partner is a little further along than the other partner is in their journey. And then you reach this tug where you’re like, I can continue moving forward, which is something I crave for myself. But I’m so aware that in doing so, I’m creating more distance between myself and my partner, which already sometimes feels unmanageable. Right. That I don’t want that. And so if you in our relationship, this Bali example for me is I’m actually, before I even tell you I’m going to Bali, thinking about how that’s going to impact us, and then we can make a decision codependently together about what that looks like moving forward. Yeah, but what you just said is so important. If at the end of the day you really feel that I’m like, I’m not going to be a whole human if we don’t do this right? Or if I don’t do this, you probably would be like, all right, I support you going to do it. And then at the very last minute, your ass shows up at the airport, and I didn’t expect it. And you got your frickin right. What’d you call them? Hoebag pants?
Rebecca [00:21:11]: Not hobag. No, Harlem. Harlem genie pants.
Erin [00:21:15]: Right. You’re like, all right, I can let her go do it. I can let her go. Right? And then at the last minute, there you are pulling up to the Rochester airport, running up in your weird ass outfit.
Rebecca [00:21:24]: I know.
Erin [00:21:25]: This is so crazy.
Rebecca [00:21:26]: I also think that it comes down to I’m not afraid. I don’t fear change. And I’m not. I don’t fear that certain things coming into our relationship are going to tear our relationship apart. What I fear is if we don’t try it together, that’s when it could potentially not necessarily. Because I feel like I’m. Both of us are pretty open minded and come like, do we razz each other and do we give each other a lot of crap when it comes to certain things, but at the end of the day, we’re both like, okay, tell me more. All right, I want to know more about that. I, I can’t tell you how many times when I took. Going back to the timeline on the Freaking.
Erin [00:22:08]: Oh, yeah. Web favorite.
Rebecca [00:22:09]: Yeah. I can’t tell you how many times I have called Aaron and said, listen to me, you need to take off this date to this date, because I have this opportunity to do this, and they gave me a free ticket. And, yes, I signed you up. And you have never questioned me. No, never.
Erin [00:22:26]: I know.
Rebecca [00:22:26]: I mean, there are times you’re like, ooh. And I’m like, I’m. This is an observation, Aaron. This has nothing to do with us. This is just an observation on how we could maybe use this information. There is at least 10 times. And I’m talking get on a plane and go to California. I’m talking, get in the car, we’re gonna go sleep in someone we don’t know’s basement. I’m. There have been so many circumstances that that has happened. Have you done the same for me? Yes.
Erin [00:22:58]: Mine’s a little more tame and also happens in a more expected cadence, but, yes, yes.
Rebecca [00:23:04]: But that’s only because things come out of the fre. Side view for me, and I. And then I immediately think, oh, my God, that’s it.
Erin [00:23:12]: Because we’ve talked about this before. What have I always said? If we’re going somewhere, like, if we’re going to make it to the big time, it’s not because of me. It’s not my. It’s not my connections. It’s not my calculatedness. It’s some random ass person that you met somewhere that you made some connection to that all of a sudden, I’m so clear about that.
Rebecca [00:23:35]: That component. But we wouldn’t have a product without you.
Erin [00:23:39]: Oh, well, thank you.
Rebecca [00:23:41]: We wouldn’t have something that somebody would care about without you.
Erin [00:23:45]: But that’s why. That’s why the hitch works.
Rebecca [00:23:48]: That’s right.
Erin [00:23:49]: Because I can have a product all day, but if it’s not going anywhere by, you know, Susie Q that I met at the coffee shop. Right.
Rebecca [00:23:57]: Or the. You know, the clown mime.
Erin [00:24:00]: Oh, yeah.
Rebecca [00:24:00]: Who’s the talent manager.
Erin [00:24:02]: Whatever. Whatever. He’s still spinning his plates. He never got back to me. Whatever. Asshole.
Rebecca [00:24:08]: So to wrap this.
Erin [00:24:13]: I think we did great. I think we did great. I just don’t know how to end it now. So now I’m like. Now I’m like.
Rebecca [00:24:18]: This is the lesson here. The lesson here, Scott, what’s the lesson?
Erin [00:24:21]: What’s the lesson, Scott? Did we. Did we talk about it enough? He wasn’t even listening. Oh, my God.
Scott [00:24:27]: No, I was listening. I just don’t. I’m not smart enough to pull the lesson.
Rebecca [00:24:32]: The lesson is you have to deeply and genuinely listen from a part of your soul to somebody who matters to you and what they’re trying to communicate. And if it means enough in your relationship, not only will you support, you will participate.
Erin [00:24:52]: What she said and build with yes, not build in spite of.
Rebecca [00:24:56]: Correct. And if you are having those feelings that you’re not wanting to, you’re resistant, you’re whatever, and you sit with those, and you. You feel all those through, then just know the relationship will change. And maybe that’s fine, because I do believe relationships serve a season, serve a purpose. They come to an end. You don’t have to have a disagreement. You don’t have to have anything negative happen. They just fizzle out.
Erin [00:25:22]: You feel that way about our relationship?
Rebecca [00:25:24]: Yeah. Okay.
Scott [00:25:25]: Like a pair of jeans.
Rebecca [00:25:27]: Yeah.
Erin [00:25:27]: Our relationship, too. Are you okay with us fizzling you little codependent down the track?
Rebecca [00:25:32]: That’s my point. I will freaking, at the end of the day, go to freaking Bali.
Erin [00:25:35]: I was gonna say, you guys. You know what I’m hearing? We go in the Bali.
Rebecca [00:25:42]: 2025. 5. I loved that.
Erin [00:25:47]: Me, too. Isn’t empathy amazing?
Rebecca [00:25:50]: Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this time.
Scott [00:25:53]: I want to learn more about the basement story.
Erin [00:25:56]: Oh, God.
Scott [00:25:57]: Sleeping in some strange.
Erin [00:25:58]: I have pictures.
Rebecca [00:25:59]: I have the. I’m.
Scott [00:26:00]: Is there a well in there? And the guy’s like, no, this is.
Erin [00:26:04]: A Power Ranger outfit. There is a Power Ranger outfit. And I was the Queen of England. Yeah, fine.
Rebecca [00:26:09]: Yes.
Scott [00:26:10]: And you say you never done acid.
Erin [00:26:12]: Go figure.
Rebecca [00:26:13]: I mean, that’s just it. We’ve never. Any of our experiences have never been.
Erin [00:26:17]: I know.
Rebecca [00:26:17]: Drug related.
Scott [00:26:20]: No, no, no, no.
Erin [00:26:22]: Quick side story. I was trying to find a new therapist, so I contacted this guy who I absolutely loved, who was my therapist from a million years ago. And he was like, hello, Aaron. So great to hear from you. We did such great work together. I now work out of Jamaica. One week on, one week off. I’m like, this is starting off well. That sounds great. But what I focus on now is shooting people with frog poison and psychedelics, doing psychedelic journeys to really get to the root of those concerns. I also charged $250.
Rebecca [00:26:59]: No insurance.
Erin [00:27:01]: No insurance. If you’re interested. Hit me back up. I’m like, the last thing my ass needs is frog poison shot in my butt cheek.
Rebecca [00:27:14]: I don’t think they put it there.
Erin [00:27:15]: I don’t care where they put it. I will straight up die. I will hallucinate myself into a quick death.
Scott [00:27:23]: Make sure you join our toad Lickers Facebook group.
Erin [00:27:27]: $250 an hour, no insurance, no thanks. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the Power of Empathy podcast. Wherever you get your podcast.
Rebecca [00:27:43]: See you next time.
