00;00;00;00 – 00;00;31;10
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin Thanks for joining us on the Moor Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
00;00;31;11 – 00;00;58;10
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life, our life is. Best friends who are more like sisters. Yay! I love us, and I can’t wait to share our stories of the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay. That whole intro is a lie.
00;00;58;13 – 00;01;20;08
Unknown
But what part? This podcast is about empathy. No it’s not. We never taught that actually was the plan. Actually, I wanted this to be about Aaron. The Aaron wanted it to be about empathy. And then Rebecca is like, oh my beer. I get other plans for this podcast. Be me.
00;01;20;10 – 00;01;40;12
Unknown
And I know you think it’s about empathy. I don’t want to talk about deep shit. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to talk about anything. You just have to to decode. You have to read between a lot. It’s very subtle. Yeah. It’s right. That’s right. Don’t tell Rebecca this podcast about empathy. If if that is just dreams right there.
00;01;40;13 – 00;02;06;19
Unknown
That was what I really thought was going to happen. I was really feel for you when they watched this. They’re like, yeah they’re trying. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. So true. Or Aaron has the best intentions for this podcast. And then there’s Rebecca. I mean, I went back and listened to that one episode where I was talking to you and Scott about something in both of you just kept dodging the questions over and over and over again.
00;02;06;23 – 00;02;21;19
Unknown
I was like, I just want to be really clear. Do you remember how I said we were going to talk about the feelings associated with this? And I don’t think you two can get your shit together at all to have this conversation. You know, ping pong and pong and ideas past each other about things and not at all, really.
00;02;21;19 – 00;02;40;27
Unknown
Even even when you force me to do it. Well, I don’t I don’t want to do it. I know this is Mark. Mark? Oh my God. How’s that coffee? It’s really good. Is it? Yeah. I would give you some, but you call it nut coffee. So I’m parked over here. Would you like some? Now you can have it.
00;02;41;00 – 00;02;56;08
Unknown
It’s your redeye coffee. How long’s it been in your refrigerator? 14 days. No, I just got this one. Oh, I’ve been home, Mark this weekend. He got this cold brew coffee with caramel in it, and he was like, this is not it. I really thought, this is what it was going to be. And last week it was a lot better.
00;02;56;08 – 00;03;16;19
Unknown
And it’s not. So he drank probably six steps out of it. And then he goes, do you want me to save this so you can go to apartment? And I said she probably wouldn’t drink it. Do. And that’s disgusting. No, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t take it because sweet. No it it. Well true. It is sweet. But I wouldn’t care that it was like three days old.
00;03;16;22 – 00;03;43;06
Unknown
It’s cold. Now, doesn’t that ice melt and, like, really change the flavor? Just put more ice in. Oh, they said it was $5 and then Mark falls it off. So yeah. Listen to the podcast. Thank you all. That’s really sweet. Thank you for that. Thank you so much for listening to it. Not one, but he tells us he will.
00;03;43;07 – 00;04;03;21
Unknown
All right. Yeah, I got to get her. I’m busy when I’m back. I am time. I’m busy. I just got a lot going on. Way. Okay. You got any good stories from us? From here? my past few weeks away. I’ve been away for a few weeks. Well. But, Yeah. No, I don’t really have any good stories, but it was a lot of fun.
00;04;03;24 – 00;04;31;28
Unknown
It was a lot of fun. And the keys are absolutely beautiful. The Florida, I mean, you can’t go there and not feel something. You know what’s funny? I talked to my sunburn. No no no no no. It was actually quite lovely. It wasn’t even like boiling hot. It was just in time. It was beautiful. And, What, what I, the my boss called me on the way in this morning, and we were just talking, and I said, I can’t decide.
00;04;31;28 – 00;04;53;17
Unknown
Every retreat is different, right? And I said, I can’t decide if it’s your leadership or where you’re at mentally and how you, facilitate the room or where the men are or the the location. But this one in particular felt cleansing and grounding, and I don’t know what it was. We did breathwork and yoga on the beach at sunset.
00;04;53;19 – 00;05;16;03
Unknown
Yep. And I didn’t I didn’t do it. No. I stood it out. I stood in the hut and watched everybody. No, but you and your heels do another yoga breath. I and I know Sandy, but what was so cool about it was it was like a little bit breezy. And so it felt like, you know, how, like, if you’re in the shower and you try to, like, wash away intentions and you’re physically the what?
00;05;16;07 – 00;05;31;04
Unknown
Okay. You didn’t you know, you can’t because you never done this. Not because I’m bad, but you have to turn the right way in the shower, right? Okay. Right. We don’t use that as an opportunity to cleanse our soul. It’s fine. Okay. Well, no. Okay. Well, what I. But I’m with you in spirit. That’s what you’re talking. So.
00;05;31;05 – 00;05;49;21
Unknown
But I’m the beach with the. With the wind. Like it’s just a different environment than doing it in a stagnant room. Yeah, right. And so that was really cool. And that’s how we kicked off the event, which I think set a tone. And then we just had a lot of fun. It was really great. one of the guys brought his boat.
00;05;49;23 – 00;06;09;04
Unknown
It’s not a boat. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He brought his yacht with his full crew. His whole staff. Oh. And during all the breaks and you know, when we weren’t in quote unquote session, he would take different guys out on experiences. And then he did a deep sea fishing trip and then he brought cigars and everybody I mean there were 60 people.
00;06;09;04 – 00;06;26;00
Unknown
So you can put 60 people on the boat. But they they put a lot. And it just he came up to me and he’s like, thank you for letting me do this. Oh, and I said, no, thank you for offering. He goes, this is how I feel of service. He’s like, I want to give, give this experience to people.
00;06;26;00 – 00;06;44;26
Unknown
It was so nice. I’ve never been deep sea fishing. That deep sea. So fun, that deep sea. I have to load myself with Dramamine. With the Dramamine. Like something fierce. But these guys had the best time. But it’s awesome. It’s a whole different experience when you’re pulling those beasts in from Down Under. Yeah. And not. It’s crazy. And then after.
00;06;44;26 – 00;07;05;27
Unknown
So I organized, 14 charters plus plus his boat, and they all went fishing on Thursday morning, and then they brought everything they caught back and we went to restaurants and they, the restaurants cooked their fish. Oh, yeah. It’s called hook and cook. What can cook? So they cook their fish. And I went and met one of the groups.
00;07;05;27 – 00;07;25;21
Unknown
And so I ate their fish. And it was so it was just like this really cool primal experience. Yeah. Of like we call it that. Yeah. It’s very manly. Yeah. Caught that. I caught that fish. I think it was very good. It’s head off. Yeah I got no I don’t think they eat it and I’m 100% positive they did not.
00;07;25;23 – 00;07;42;20
Unknown
You got to take a big bite out of it. Like right. Right. When you pull it from the sea. Oh, yeah. When it’s alive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, it’s still moving. One guy. Yeah, one guy caught a barracuda. Those. Those don’t eat very well. I mean, they eat you, but. But barracudas. Yeah, they’re. Oh, no, I don’t think there was that one.
00;07;42;21 – 00;08;01;19
Unknown
Yeah. You can’t eat. And then another person caught a shark, and that particular, captain had the shark utensils that they could, like, bring it up or whatever, because you, you normally you just cut the line and let it go because it’s a shark, like, you know, you don’t, you know, shove your hand and you can get the oh, no, no, no, I don’t know what they did, but.
00;08;01;19 – 00;08;24;13
Unknown
And then and then they took those. The one guy told a story of the guy who brought his crew. The guy took a that like a, like, kind of like a spear. And he went to the front of the boat and he just spear to fish and threw it in the boat like this bastard man. Shit, I wish, I wish I had seen that, but I posted on my Facebook, a reel that one of the guys created from his personal experience.
00;08;24;13 – 00;08;46;02
Unknown
And I’m like, this is what I do. Oh, and it was so it was just really, it’s so beautiful. And there was this one moment, I’m normally not in the room because, yeah, I’m a woman and I do not want these men to feel weird. Right. And frankly, I don’t want to feel weird, but I happened to be in the room during this one presentation.
00;08;46;05 – 00;09;25;21
Unknown
he had a guest speaker come in, and he did a almost like what Kim did. for our podcast. Yeah. And took him down to forgiveness. meditation, I guess we’ll call it. Yeah. And one man had such a breakthrough and it was the most beautiful thing to the point where he was having such a breakthrough and such a moment that, all the men came together and put their hands on him, and then they just sat there and listened to a song, and it was the most beautiful, touching moment and of healing for this person.
00;09;25;21 – 00;10;02;19
Unknown
And he had such a transformative experience and he then wrote this beautiful letter, and it was just so healing and so touching. And I don’t have I didn’t grow up a lot of men in my life. So, to, to see this type of vulnerability and connection and want to grow and just be the best human is so beautiful with the context of I want to be the best dad because I want to raise my children to be whole.
00;10;02;19 – 00;10;24;16
Unknown
And it’s just so nice. And what’s funny was this entire retreat was focused on boundaries. That was that was the theme. So. Okay. Yes. And the the guest speaker talked about family legacy and how you bring in, you know, energies and things from your family and how you’re brought up a certain way. And then you just continue. How do you break cycles and stuff?
00;10;24;16 – 00;10;41;19
Unknown
It was it was really, really great. What kind of boundary stuff were they talking about? Boundaries. in work, no boundaries. And family is everything. Everything. But keep in mind, I’m not in the room, right? So I’m not listening. And what were you doing at this time? Just out of curiosity, when I’m not in the room. Yeah. When?
00;10;41;20 – 00;11;00;20
Unknown
When they’re doing all this really deep, important, transformative. Oh, I’m preparing for the next. I’m. I’m calling the fishing charters. I’m driving and getting supplies. I’m going to the restaurants and making sure dinner is ready. I’m working with the yoga person to make sure she has all her equipment. So I. I’m the logistics person room, like doing tequila or something?
00;11;00;21 – 00;11;19;29
Unknown
No. Oh no no no no no. This is I don’t sleep on these retreats. I’m up at I’m in the room at 530 in the morning, and I’m. I’m cleaning up the room at 10:00 at night. Like these. I’m working, but, you know, it’s it’s a sacred container space. And it’s really important that people know that, you know, specifically for these guys.
00;11;19;29 – 00;11;42;16
Unknown
But what’s so cool is this is my 17th retreat that I’ve done. And each and every time it’s these magical things that happen. So it’s so cool. And so we have another one coming up in October and I can’t wait. And I’m super pumped. And what this is the part that I made me cry. they do an MVP at the end of the retreat.
00;11;42;16 – 00;12;01;26
Unknown
And the concept is on the back of your form. Write down who impacted you the most here, who who got you to have the breakthroughs, who was vulnerable, who went above and beyond that kind of thing. And I have to tell you it up. And then we give like an award and, somebody wrote my name down. Oh, yeah.
00;12;01;26 – 00;12;27;18
Unknown
So great. So nice. So we they all come up to me because I met I contact each individual person I know really. You know, I really try to make it as as weight glove as possible. Yeah. And the amount of appreciation for that is so. Yeah, rewarding. And it just makes me want to continue to surf because I see what happens for these people, you know?
00;12;27;18 – 00;12;41;23
Unknown
And then we do, who wants to sign up for the next one? And almost everyone raises their hand. We don’t market these things. They sell out because you experience them. So anyway, very, very cool. I think what I love the most about them, because I had the privilege of, oh yeah, you did go to one in Austin.
00;12;41;23 – 00;13;08;29
Unknown
Yeah, right. That’s right. what I really liked the most about them is they are really vulnerable, emotion focused. Okay. Care focused spaces. Yeah, but mixed in a balanced way. Perfectly. Yeah. With stereotypical masculinity. Oh yeah. Right. Oh it’s so not not things that are, you know, only specific to men, but that tend to be things that draw men in.
00;13;09;02 – 00;13;37;03
Unknown
So there’s certain time just for physical activity that’s like, right, we’re going to go play pickleball. We’re going to go for a run. We’re going to go do whatever we call that sweat, okay. We have to do the daily sweat. Okay. Yes, yes. There’s times where, in that from a mental health standpoint is so important because whenever you’re running some type of group that has a lot of emotional work, it is actually incredibly unhealthy to keep people in those spaces without reprieve for a long period of time.
00;13;37;03 – 00;14;00;28
Unknown
And we’re very conscious of that. Yeah, that is there. There’s a lot of, what is the word consciousness in terms of developing the agenda? It is very specific. It is very, I don’t know what the word is. I can’t think of the word. It’s intentional. there’s there’s a lot of intention that goes into this, and that’s why it’s so important.
00;14;01;04 – 00;14;20;23
Unknown
And some things are optional, right? Like, sometimes we ask you to do the breathwork and we coordinate it, but then sometimes we give you an opportunity to come and do it on your own. And then you can have your own breakthroughs in your own. I’ve never done breathwork. In fact, I’m kind of excited. I, I was sitting outside the room listening to it and the way this man conducted it was the coolest.
00;14;20;23 – 00;14;39;18
Unknown
I mean, it was so great. And so I kind of want to do it in my own. Not with a bunch of men. But yeah, I was going to say no, nothing like they make the breakthroughs. I mean, the what I was hearing was just it’s so cool. So cool. Yeah. They are really neat experiences. But I did very much appreciate that.
00;14;39;18 – 00;14;59;29
Unknown
The last one that we were at, I remember saying to you because of one of the, the parts where they were doing a lot of past trauma work and I remember looking at you and saying he needs to put them back together. He has to put them back together. Is he going to put them back together? And you’re basically like, yeah, just trust the process, right?
00;14;59;29 – 00;15;15;22
Unknown
Trust the process. But my my mental health radar is like, you’re going to leave these people in such a terrible place if you don’t put them together. But these are also professionals. These aren’t randos, right? It’s not like me who’s like, let me be clear. You, man. Yeah, let me read your hippie dippy card. Right. Not like oh, these are legit.
00;15;15;26 – 00;15;34;19
Unknown
A leader of the group does not have a degree in mental health. It does not have. Right. He has. He has other degrees. But the the owner or the founder? Yeah, but he hires people, right. Who are professionals. So this person who was doing it was a professional. Yeah. Yeah yeah, yeah. I started to hear him then bring it back together and put it together and I’m breathing a little bit more.
00;15;34;19 – 00;15;51;10
Unknown
I’m like, oh my gosh, okay. We cannot have no, no, no 60 on earth man. Yeah. No. You know leached into sweat time. No no no no no. That’s just not going to be okay. No. But it is a pretty magical experience from the one that I, went to. So I’m glad that this one was really good.
00;15;51;13 – 00;16;16;06
Unknown
So if anybody listening wants to know more, it’s called front row Dads and you can check it out. it’s just it’s a beautiful group, and I. It’s such a privilege. It’s it’s seriously a privilege for me to be able to serve that group. It’s so wonderful. Tag line. Dad. family men with businesses, not businessmen with families.
00;16;16;08 – 00;16;36;28
Unknown
Right. We’re always the first putting yourself. Always. Just like most of them are entrepreneurs. Yeah. And the reason why this this started was because a lot of the founder and a lot of his, colleagues were business like, you’re go, go. When you’re an entrepreneur, you’re like, running, running, running, running. Right. And then you’re neglecting the things that are supposedly values, right?
00;16;37;04 – 00;16;54;01
Unknown
The supposedly the most important to you. So when you look at your calendar and you say, my family’s the most important, I haven’t seen them in two months because I’m traveling or whatever. He’s helping you restructure that. What does that look like? Where can you let go? Where can you hire? Where can you do this? Where can you dig in?
00;16;54;04 – 00;17;15;09
Unknown
All right, you got a hippie view for us today? I do, it’s a good one. Okay. It’s the Ten of Pentacles. Okay. Oh, look, it’s a little turtle luck. All right, all right. Are you ready? I think so. Good luck is coming. And you will celebrate a windfall or an or an other unexpected financial bonus. And you’re going to appreciate the stability.
00;17;15;09 – 00;17;35;28
Unknown
The springs. A family gathering is on the cards to the usual irritations disappear and you feel the love and support of relatives or close friends. You treat this family in relationships, the card predicts families being joined by love, feelings are declared and commitment follows. A couple moves in together and or announces they’re winning. So here’s the advice appreciate the special bond.
00;17;35;28 – 00;17;55;06
Unknown
She shares a group and the love that comes with the commitment. There is a lot going on in that card. It’s just luck. It means good things. It’s happiness. Good things are going to happen. I have heard that we’re going to get a bonus. I heard that families coming to visit. I heard someone’s getting married. I heard that, well, these are those are options.
00;17;55;08 – 00;18;20;22
Unknown
Those are like this. This could mean this. This could mean that. So it’s a it’s a positive thing. Okay. Just just in general good things are coming. Things are coming okay. Yeah. You know, good things aren’t coming. For who? The day I Sandra Dawley. Oh. Well I mean to our listener is not in Rochester, New York. RTA here.
00;18;20;22 – 00;18;49;13
Unknown
Oh. She’s local. Oh, she sure is. She is. She has an elected official and has been elected many times. And she is. You here for yourself? She’ll say, I’m the D.A.. I’m not the D.A., I’m the D.A.. Okay, okay. Okay, so she’s our D. She’s here. The our D.A. here in Rochester, New York, chief law enforcement officer of our county.
00;18;49;16 – 00;19;15;01
Unknown
Monroe. So I had to find out what this was because I had called Morgan. Who else do you call? Morgan. Right. Like Morgan. What’s a D.A.? The district. The district attorney is basically. It’s a lawyer. Yeah. Who then works essentially for, I think she said the governor, because they make sure that the state laws are they they are the prosecutor on the side of the state, basically.
00;19;15;01 – 00;19;36;18
Unknown
Okay. And I said, well, what do you mean? She’s like, well, someone gets killed, you know, in the city. then essentially New York State’s laws have been violated. And so the, the D.A. determines is the this the case that we are going to take on. So it would be the person who did the shooting against New York State and the D.A. represents in New York State.
00;19;36;19 – 00;19;57;24
Unknown
Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. And I also they also work with the police to help develop the case and. Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, make sure that they have all the proper evidence and make sure all that stuff is it is a big deal so that it doesn’t get thrown out. Huge. They have to be working like this with law enforcement now fingers entwined because they are the people.
00;19;57;24 – 00;20;29;12
Unknown
They are intimately involved with the law they give them. Yes. Oh, they know very much so very much, very much so. Yeah. So, so again, I found out from Morgan that she’s an elected official. She’s been elected many, many times. Her name Sandra Dawley, Sandra Dawley. Okay. And so yesterday this video cam footage comes out, from the police officer from Webster Police Department.
00;20;29;12 – 00;20;52;01
Unknown
His body cam footage, okay, of attempting to pull over the D.A.. So a couple things we kind of put on the table there. He was attempting to pull over a person. Did we know what point? Did not know it was the D.A.. It’s not like she has broad D.A. on her on her license plate. To her chagrin, not everybody knew what her car looked like she was, which surprised the shit out of her.
00;20;52;01 – 00;21;09;18
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, really, really surprised the shit out of her that he didn’t know she throwing a bag of her down the street. People were like, there goes the D.A.. Yeah. Oh, don’t pull that one over. That’s the D.A.. Like you didn’t know what I was driving. Oh, my God, it’s incredible. So this body cam footage comes out. I can’t stop thinking about it.
00;21;09;18 – 00;21;39;05
Unknown
It makes me so angry. So I thought today’s topic would be when do you not have empathy for people? And, the two things that came up for me. The first was I tend to lack empathy for supervisors of mine because I, who are bad. If you’re a good supervisor, I’m out. That’s where we’re at. Right? But if you’re a bad supervisor, I have a very hard time giving you the benefit of the doubt.
00;21;39;08 – 00;21;58;02
Unknown
trying to understand your point of view. And I think that some of my role brownness right in my mind. And I’m a very fair person. If you are someone who’s appointed in a position that’s over mine, and you are someone who’s responsible for the care of other people in an employment setting, you can’t suck. That’s a good point.
00;21;58;08 – 00;22;26;12
Unknown
If you suck, I have no empathy for that. And I will continue to come for you, come for you, come for you. When you continue to do things that are unfair, unjust, that don’t have rationale to them, that don’t make sense, right? I can get behind any supervisor who says, I understand that that might be complicated to understand, but there are a few reasons behind the scenes related to politics related to whatever that will not come out in this conversation, but I want you to know that that’s part of the rationale.
00;22;26;15 – 00;22;49;06
Unknown
That’s okay, because it at least gives me the idea that you have the wherewithal up here in your brain to have worked through some of that. Right? So I it’s a fascinating to me that, that is one of my areas. How many stories do I have? I know times where I have laid the smack down. I know with supervisor I know and I don’t look back, I know it, it makes me very uncomfortable.
00;22;49;13 – 00;23;11;04
Unknown
So call and tell me a story. I’m like, what? You spill? What? What did you do? Well, I know because I it’s something I came because, I mean, in that moment where I am ruthless in the pursuit of justice. If you want to be a colleague of mine and not be really great at your job, I can have a little more empathy for that.
00;23;11;06 – 00;23;37;04
Unknown
If you are someone that I supervise, I can have empathy for that all day. You cannot be my superior and you sure as shit cannot be my superior. Superior and suck at your job. You can not, I, I can’t, I think I’m getting fired up, I think. Can I just stop talking? I can’t makes me so angry. I have so many names fired through my head right now that I just want to throw out here.
00;23;37;06 – 00;23;59;28
Unknown
Yeah, names for me. I am not yourself. You know my people. I know you’re like, oh yeah, I know. So that that probably ties into this because that is an area I do not have empathy. And then this short video we’re about to show is another example of you are above people in this position. You I expect more out of you.
00;23;59;28 – 00;24;20;04
Unknown
I expect you to be better. I expect you to have your bias in check. And when you don’t, that’s when I. I have no empathy for that. Yeah. So my, my where’s my first response when we’re done watching this? Is Gonzalo fired and done. See, why have you not resigned yet? Right. Well, because we’re not gonna talk about it till after.
00;24;20;04 – 00;24;38;10
Unknown
I want to show you this video that Scott pulled up for us. It’s not the entire video. The whole video is about 30 minutes. You can find it easily in a Google search. But this is just the part that I saw from his body cam footage in the very beginning. And my face, it just kept it, kept getting more and more.
00;24;38;10 – 00;24;53;12
Unknown
No, you haven’t seen this yet. No. This is going to be your first time watch. I haven’t heard of it. No, I’ve been so. Oh, you haven’t even heard of it. No. Okay, okay. We want to know who Sandra Dawley was. No idea. Okay. No. Okay. This is my first no. So she’s actually perfect. Great. She’s with a lot of other listeners.
00;24;53;12 – 00;24;59;01
Unknown
I, I have a first three out. This is a great. Yes. Scott and I though now.
00;24;59;03 – 00;25;23;06
Unknown
Okay, here we go. Oh, sorry. I’m the D.A.. I was going 55 coming 55 and a 35. I don’t really care. Okay. So you can can you can you please come over here? You’re on it. This is on a traffic stop, ma’am. Yes it is. You can call Dennis. Call Myra right now. Okay? I’m telling you why stop you.
00;25;23;06 – 00;25;40;15
Unknown
You didn’t stop at all. Did you not hear my lights or sirens or. No, I didn’t actually, I’m on the phone. Okay, well, you’re not supposed to be on the phone like that either. Yes, I am with the handsfree. Absolutely. Okay. Why are you. So she’s not calling him my job? You. You just admitted to me that you were going 55 and a 35 on the truck.
00;25;40;22 – 00;26;01;28
Unknown
Leave me alone. What? Sir Christopher Lee. Christopher, can you stay over here? Ma’am? You’re no traffic. This is a thing. This is illegal traffic. Stop! Do you have your ID? No, it’s in my purse. Here. You have your purse right there. No, this is my lunch. Did you talk to your doctor? Dennis, this is ridiculous. Oh, well. Hello, sir.
00;26;02;00 – 00;26;23;27
Unknown
Good. Ma’am, can you please stay at the back? This is a man. This is legal traffic stop. Can you please stay over here? No, it did you. Look, I had a yes, sir. I stopped here for 535. I’m sorry, sir, and she failed to stop. She drove all the way back home and parked in the driveway. No. And now she’s not.
00;26;23;29 – 00;26;31;20
Unknown
She’s not complying with any of my commands. Ma’am, do not go inside. Oh, my God.
00;26;31;22 – 00;26;53;21
Unknown
Yep, yep. All right. Okay, ma’am. Come outside. You can’t just go inside. This is a traffic stop. Here’s your phone back. I understand the law better than you. Which is nine, five, three. Can you have a supervisor come to the scene? No. Get out of my here. I don’t know what. Why you’re acting like this towards me. Can you please go to the back of the vehicle?
00;26;53;21 – 00;27;10;02
Unknown
I’m not going to. I’m home. I was going, I was okay. I don’t care if you got home. You were supposed to stop at Philips Road when I pulled you over. When my lights were initiated. I didn’t know you were stopping me. There was lots of other people on the road. I was right behind you. Yeah, other people on the road, too.
00;27;10;03 – 00;27;31;27
Unknown
Okay. I was directly behind you, dealing with you, right. Can you please step over here? I’m not going to. What is the reason you’re. You’re so against what I’m doing. I’m doing my job. You say you’re a da, I am the. Okay, okay, let me get you my badge. I am media God.
00;27;31;29 – 00;27;52;20
Unknown
I just don’t understand that towards me. I’m doing my job. I was just going to say I have some. I mean, this was a I am SDA, Monroe County. I understand that that doesn’t give you a right to go 55 and a 35. Any time you are in handcuffs, you understand why you are doing this. Understand that? How do you know what?
00;27;52;27 – 00;28;10;06
Unknown
If you give me a traffic ticket, that’s fine. I’m the one who prosecutes it. Okay, just go ahead and do it. I just don’t understand the hostility. I understand you’re coming home from work, and half the time I was on the phone with Dennis. Tell him why are you pulling me over? You’re not even supposed to be on the phone.
00;28;10;06 – 00;28;31;22
Unknown
So you should know that. Oh, I. And you can stop it. There’s gone. Absolutely. Right now. I want to read you. Okay? If it is a state, that’s great. Okay. I want to read you her statement. So this all comes out okay. Now, this is what I asked Morgan. I said, how the hell did they get the for your request on that that quick right freedom of information law that.
00;28;31;23 – 00;29;01;00
Unknown
Oh because this thing was posted almost immediately. Right. Oh yeah. And who posted the police department? Yeah, they made it. They put it up there and then all the news media grabbed it. Yeah. And so this goes out yesterday and she then is forced or feels in some place that she has to make a statement. So I want to read you the statement because I think this is an interesting part of this conversation as well.
00;29;01;06 – 00;29;29;21
Unknown
This is her statement, her full statement on Monday, April 22nd, 2024, I was driving home following a busy day at work. I admit that I was not paying attention to my speed on Phillips Road in the town of Webster, less than half a mile from my neighborhood, I noticed a Webster police car behind me. Once I realized that the intention of the car was to pull me over, I called the Webster police chief to inform him that I was not a threat, and that I would speak to the officer at my house down the street.
00;29;29;23 – 00;29;55;07
Unknown
The Webster police officer followed me to my house and issued me a speeding ticket for my speed of 55mph in a 35 mile per hour zone. I acknowledged that I was speeding and I accepted the ticket. By 1 p.m. the following day, I pled guilty and sent the ticket to the Webster Town Court because I believe in accepting responsibility for my actions and had no intention of using my position to receive a benefit.
00;29;55;09 – 00;30;24;11
Unknown
Nobody, including your district attorney, is above the rule of law, even traffic laws. Nobody who knows me, understands, or anybody who knows me understands without a doubt that I have dedicated my 33 year career to the safety of this community. My work to ensure the safety and respect of law enforcement is well proven. Over time, I stand by my work and I stand by my commitment to the public safety of Monroe County.
00;30;24;13 – 00;30;45;28
Unknown
Absolutely not. Just silly. Not. She left out. She broke numerous laws. He up any other person? Yep. Never that the officer wouldn’t have treated him the same way again. If that was a black man, I was going to say that. But I’m like, it’s not appropriate. It’s the truth. Forget it. If that was a black man, they would have been shot dead.
00;30;46;00 – 00;31;03;17
Unknown
Dead shot would have thrown the stop sticks out before they even got to his house. Correct. And that would never have allowed him to go to his house. No, they never would have allowed him to get out of the car like that. They never would have allowed him to go back into his car over and over again to get whatever they were getting from the passenger side seat.
00;31;03;18 – 00;31;24;07
Unknown
Could have been a gun. The first thing I thought was getting a gun, right? No way. No way. In that entire they would never have let the talking back happen the way I’m not doing that right. You want any, So whose fault is it? Is it is it hers, or is it the police officer? It’s hers. Well, yeah, but why was the police officer allowing her to do any of that?
00;31;24;07 – 00;31;50;04
Unknown
Both. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. Actually, yeah. So the police should have arrested her immediately. Can you even imagine? Absolutely. The first thing I thought it, that was all the things going through my head to be with him would be for him. I mean, he did under the circumstances. I think he did a pretty good job of trying to figure out what was up versus what’s down, because imagine what’s coming at him, right?
00;31;50;04 – 00;32;10;29
Unknown
He’s like, okay, she’s calling my supervisor, sir. Okay, I still have to do my job. Okay? She didn’t pull over when I told her to pull over. It was a black traffic shot. What is still no. Yeah, but when when you when you mix politics into the whole duty of a police officer, it gets right. We’ve seen these stories before.
00;32;11;02 – 00;32;33;17
Unknown
well, because we all watch all those those shows. Right. So we, my wife and I watched the the body cam show. I think there’s like eight seasons or something. And this happened. I can’t remember where, but it was the mayor and the mayor got pulled over and he and he was drinking, and he was like, calling the chief and saying, hey, you know, die to die.
00;32;33;17 – 00;33;02;10
Unknown
And eventually he had to concede. And, you know, plead guilty and all that kind of stuff. And he eventually I think they even got reelected somehow. But, you know, that’s how it I feel bad for the officers in that situation because they’re like, they understand. All right. This person technically is my boss and they’re in charge. But at the same time, I got a job to do, but also, it’s the aspect of this woman.
00;33;02;10 – 00;33;19;21
Unknown
I’m asking her to do something and she’s not doing it. And now I have to make decisions in the moment. Do I pull my gun right? Do I tase her? You know, do I tase her? Do I grab her by the arms and throw her down? This is again, it’s a it’s a traffic stop, but it’s a traffic stop that’s escalated.
00;33;19;22 – 00;33;37;14
Unknown
Well, now, well yeah, it’s at her house, right? She, she she’s broken. And he even says that he’s like, you continue to break laws that she should be well aware of. Well, if you’re the D.A. at one point in the video, I don’t know if it happened here, but she said, I’m well aware of the laws. I know the laws better than you do.
00;33;37;17 – 00;34;00;23
Unknown
yeah. And when the supervisor shows up, he. He starts telling her, Sandra, you know this? Oh, I didn’t see any part with the supervisor that showed up. Did you see that part, Scott? Yeah. Okay. So what happened then? Basically play it. Sure. Yeah. Hey, this is the supervisor. Oh, here he comes crashing out, resolving for, I guess going 55 and 35 until she didn’t stop at all.
00;34;00;25 – 00;34;22;26
Unknown
Decided to drive home. Called the shooting in the square. I know it’s getting to be a video just here, so let just take care of it, all right? All right. Bye bye. And she’s on the phone every time I talk to Jeff. Jeff. Okay. I was some from the chief. Okay? I’m the supervisor with her. And also, I’m sorry.
00;34;22;28 – 00;34;41;18
Unknown
I didn’t want to pull over. And until it was just, I just didn’t. I figured I’d just go to my driveway, and I called ins, and I said, okay, that’s me. That’s there. Try and stop. Okay. So that’s in the story. Okay. But you should know better, right? I, I was speeding, I was I don’t I know that okay.
00;34;41;21 – 00;35;01;01
Unknown
So why didn’t you just stop like you’re slow? Because I didn’t feel like stopping until. That’s not your choice. You know that. Well, I made it my choice. Okay? Why now? Now you made a bigger deal than it needed to be. It’s a really bigger deal. And people started coming. It’s a much bigger deal. Well, you. You caused that, Sandra.
00;35;01;03 – 00;35;20;10
Unknown
Well, what do you want us to do? Not do our job because it’s. You know, it’s fine. I should write me a ticket. But I was just saying I was like a slap in Steppenwolf’s trial at 530. Okay, well, you broke another law because of that, right? So then you should know better. And she should be arrested for the rest of the offense.
00;35;20;12 – 00;35;39;19
Unknown
Sandra. You mean I’m not doing it? She’s just setting a precedent. What? Did I just pull over? You made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. And you knew what? You were getting stopped. Clearly. Clearly, you’re going to stop now. She’s just been done with it. But now you made it this whole big deal for no reason.
00;35;39;20 – 00;36;06;03
Unknown
Title. Did you breach the registration? Yeah. Okay. You have. Right. She. She’s starting to realize in this moment. Yeah, that she’s fucked. Oh, boy. Yeah, I have not. I was done this correctly. Yeah. She keeps doubling down. Of course she is because she’s trying to utilize on title. I thought, I thought it would be easier. Easier. Oh, apparently I was wrong.
00;36;06;08 – 00;36;29;16
Unknown
Yeah, that was not the right choice. Okay, who’s that guy? You know the deal. If you were to stop you, I’m probably the supervisor. There’s another supervisor. That’s the officer. That’s the attending officer. She should have been arrested. Yeah. You, But a gorgeous day in Webster. The. Yeah. Right. Okay. You can stop. Yeah. So. I’m sorry.
00;36;29;16 – 00;37;00;06
Unknown
I know, I know, zero empathy. I don’t have any empathy. It’s fascinating to me because I was really trying to search for some, but I felt irate. Deplore. Bull. That behavior is deplorable. This is it’s again, what’s the point of having laws when we pick and choose who has to follow them? Right. Absolutely. So. And she so now when somebody else does it right, can’t you point back and be like, well, you didn’t do anything slowly and you posted that.
00;37;00;07 – 00;37;23;00
Unknown
You posted that you did nothing to her. So you can’t do it to me, right? You can’t pick. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t feel safe on the highway. So I actually continued to drive all the way to my house. Right. We’re not talking one house away, not from the street all the way. We’re talking going through the entire neighborhood to go to my house.
00;37;23;00 – 00;37;38;08
Unknown
Right. And you had the audacity to call the chief and say, oh, there, it’s me and you, hoping you’re clear, right? You did not call the chief to say, right? Hi, chief. Just wanted to let you know I seem to be getting pulled over here. Not a threat. Happy to comply with the law when I get right to my house.
00;37;38;08 – 00;38;09;10
Unknown
No, you said handle it, chief, call this off. The dogs are right because we’re not doing this right. But the entitled a lead. Yeah, you know, I’m above the law I in. So when I was talking to Morgan about it this morning, I said, you know, I, I could take a beat here with this if the minute that she got out of that car, she said, and be really honest with you right now, I had a terrible day at work.
00;38;09;13 – 00;38;28;17
Unknown
My energy, my anxiety is through the roof right now. I just need a minute. I’m aware I was speeding, I’m aware that I drove home and I really apologize. That’s out of character for me. I understand you need to give me a ticket, as you should. I just need a minute. This has been quite the day. That’s human.
00;38;28;19 – 00;38;56;18
Unknown
That’s human. Still not okay. Still needs to be held responsible for it. But I can understand in that moment if there is a sense of humanity and like that, that’s your core right there. That’s speaking. Her core was speaking loud and clear, and her core said, I’m better than you. My job is bigger than yours. I’m, I’m I’m protected politically.
00;38;56;20 – 00;39;22;13
Unknown
You are an idiot for thinking you can come against me, ma’am, I am above the law because I defend the law and I’m as entitled as they come. And that that’s the core. Can I? And that part for me makes me very nervous that she is the district attorney who’s going to be trying cases. Not for long. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
00;39;22;15 – 00;39;46;13
Unknown
Saying she’s going to have to resign. Did she go to work today? That’s my question. And, you know, we’re going to do is, you know, who the real loser is in this whole situation. Look at that sweet face. That sweet face is her little dog. I think it’s a goldendoodle. I don’t know, I’m a golden doodle owner. And, that is that is that is the real shame, because that sweet face deserves better.
00;39;46;15 – 00;40;09;18
Unknown
It’s true. And it’s true. Isn’t that crazy? I just been appalled by that all day. I’ve been seeing people post about it, and then when I read her statement, I got even more mad because I was like, how quickly can we turn a scenario that’s so much bigger into that? Into, oh, nothing to see here. That wasn’t a big deal.
00;40;09;20 – 00;40;41;05
Unknown
Oh, we just took care of it. Oh, don’t worry about it. I graciously accepted the ticket and just frolicked into the breeze. No, bitch, that ain’t what happened. How stupid do you think the people of Rochester are? Seriously? I mean, how stupid. Who sees that video and thinks that you just willingly, you law abiding citizen, took that ticket and said, don’t chocolate chip cookie on your way out like, that it’s not what happened there.
00;40;41;05 – 00;41;01;04
Unknown
But again, this is this is where when the fallout happens, if she doesn’t resign or isn’t fired, we got an even bigger problem. Oh, yeah, I don’t honestly. I mean, I’ve seen some shit, but I can’t imagine that ever happening. So the person she. It should be already done. Did this happened last week? It has not happened yesterday.
00;41;01;04 – 00;41;19;22
Unknown
It has to be investigated. You can’t just remove a Da, she said. She said Monday the 22nd in her statement. So it happened last week. Okay. Yesterday it was just came out yesterday. Yeah. It just came out yesterday. Yeah. Okay. So it’s been a week. So I think you can probably put people on administrative leave. That would be my guess.
00;41;19;29 – 00;41;36;05
Unknown
But you have to do a full on investigation a special. And she said that like going to have to recuse herself from this whole thing and the assistant to or they’re going to have to, appoint a special counsel. Morgan thinks it’s the governor who makes the decision. Yeah, yeah, that’s actually that the governor. That’s true. That’s true.
00;41;36;05 – 00;41;58;09
Unknown
Yep. I don’t I don’t think they have the best of the best relationship either. But, I think that it’s the, governor who makes the final decision. And here’s where politics is not going to help, because anyone who I don’t care how much you supported her in the past, you cannot support this action. And like with a straight face.
00;41;58;09 – 00;42;22;13
Unknown
But this is where this is where the humanness comes in, right? Because people laugh. I think that people will. I don’t know what’s going to happen. This is my first time seeing it. I want to see the whole thing. But I have to do more research. But I worry that people will think, well, I’m right. Rough day at the office?
00;42;22;18 – 00;42;41;16
Unknown
No? Well, you just said you would have empathy for her if she had gotten out of the car and said and owned it, I would have still wanted her held responsible. Yeah, still. Right. But what I would have been able to get behind a little bit more is the ability for her to be able to accept in that moment that she did all of the things that she did.
00;42;41;19 – 00;43;02;24
Unknown
that I could have, like, I could have a human connection to that. Sure. Because but not with all the statements associated with what she said. Every single thing that she spewed was coming straight from her core. That’s who she is as a person. It was clear she believes that you are beneath her. She she believes she is above the law, right?
00;43;02;24 – 00;43;25;23
Unknown
She believes wholeheartedly that she did absolutely nothing that was out of her, you know, godly. She she said the word I don’t care, right? I don’t care, I don’t care. I wasn’t going to stop, I don’t care, right. That’s the truth. She tried she tried to say, I didn’t know it was you trying to get me. And then in the next segment, the next statement, it was, well, I knew you were doing it, but I wasn’t going to do it.
00;43;25;23 – 00;43;40;09
Unknown
Right. So you can’t you can’t make two things. Can’t be true, right? I didn’t know you were trying to get me, but I called the police chief out of, you know, an abundance of caution. I just happened, I just happened to be on the phone with him. Right. Come on. Right. Yeah. No, But I don’t think that people will give a pass.
00;43;40;09 – 00;43;58;23
Unknown
What I do think will happen is that, she will have to go quiet for a little while, and then she’ll go back to being an attorney, and she will get partnered at some firm and still make ridiculous amounts of money. And maybe you believe that she probably. Yeah. My guess is she’s been doing this for this long.
00;43;58;25 – 00;44;21;09
Unknown
Wants to move up to be a judge someday, right. And I think those dreams are out that window. What she should do is she should completely do a a complete about face, own up and and then go out on and go out on the speaking circuit and and tell people how to overcome this elitist alcoholism. Yes. That’s it.
00;44;21;10 – 00;44;41;25
Unknown
Yeah. She needs to take that term. Yeah. God, I’m a recovering elitist asshole. Yeah. I’d love to give you a keynote presentation. Thanks for coming tonight. Hi. My name is Sandra’s Twirly Baby with Sandra Dawley. And I am a former person who thought I was above the law. I said drug.
00;44;41;27 – 00;45;09;05
Unknown
And now I’m here giving speeches for $1,000 a pop. To the rest of you to remind you. Please don’t be an elitist asshole. Change your core. It’s my name. I, I loved that. Me too. Isn’t empathy amazing? Well. We’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff. That’s fine, except you, wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you.
00;45;09;08 – 00;45;31;03
Unknown
I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the power of empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
Unknown
Hey, it’s me Erin Thanks for joining us on the Moor Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
00;00;31;11 – 00;00;58;10
Unknown
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast about what? Our life, our life is. Best friends who are more like sisters. Yay! I love us, and I can’t wait to share our stories of the world, especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves. Oh, man. Okay. That whole intro is a lie.
00;00;58;13 – 00;01;20;08
Unknown
But what part? This podcast is about empathy. No it’s not. We never taught that actually was the plan. Actually, I wanted this to be about Aaron. The Aaron wanted it to be about empathy. And then Rebecca is like, oh my beer. I get other plans for this podcast. Be me.
00;01;20;10 – 00;01;40;12
Unknown
And I know you think it’s about empathy. I don’t want to talk about deep shit. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to talk about anything. You just have to to decode. You have to read between a lot. It’s very subtle. Yeah. It’s right. That’s right. Don’t tell Rebecca this podcast about empathy. If if that is just dreams right there.
00;01;40;13 – 00;02;06;19
Unknown
That was what I really thought was going to happen. I was really feel for you when they watched this. They’re like, yeah they’re trying. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. So true. Or Aaron has the best intentions for this podcast. And then there’s Rebecca. I mean, I went back and listened to that one episode where I was talking to you and Scott about something in both of you just kept dodging the questions over and over and over again.
00;02;06;23 – 00;02;21;19
Unknown
I was like, I just want to be really clear. Do you remember how I said we were going to talk about the feelings associated with this? And I don’t think you two can get your shit together at all to have this conversation. You know, ping pong and pong and ideas past each other about things and not at all, really.
00;02;21;19 – 00;02;40;27
Unknown
Even even when you force me to do it. Well, I don’t I don’t want to do it. I know this is Mark. Mark? Oh my God. How’s that coffee? It’s really good. Is it? Yeah. I would give you some, but you call it nut coffee. So I’m parked over here. Would you like some? Now you can have it.
00;02;41;00 – 00;02;56;08
Unknown
It’s your redeye coffee. How long’s it been in your refrigerator? 14 days. No, I just got this one. Oh, I’ve been home, Mark this weekend. He got this cold brew coffee with caramel in it, and he was like, this is not it. I really thought, this is what it was going to be. And last week it was a lot better.
00;02;56;08 – 00;03;16;19
Unknown
And it’s not. So he drank probably six steps out of it. And then he goes, do you want me to save this so you can go to apartment? And I said she probably wouldn’t drink it. Do. And that’s disgusting. No, I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t take it because sweet. No it it. Well true. It is sweet. But I wouldn’t care that it was like three days old.
00;03;16;22 – 00;03;43;06
Unknown
It’s cold. Now, doesn’t that ice melt and, like, really change the flavor? Just put more ice in. Oh, they said it was $5 and then Mark falls it off. So yeah. Listen to the podcast. Thank you all. That’s really sweet. Thank you for that. Thank you so much for listening to it. Not one, but he tells us he will.
00;03;43;07 – 00;04;03;21
Unknown
All right. Yeah, I got to get her. I’m busy when I’m back. I am time. I’m busy. I just got a lot going on. Way. Okay. You got any good stories from us? From here? my past few weeks away. I’ve been away for a few weeks. Well. But, Yeah. No, I don’t really have any good stories, but it was a lot of fun.
00;04;03;24 – 00;04;31;28
Unknown
It was a lot of fun. And the keys are absolutely beautiful. The Florida, I mean, you can’t go there and not feel something. You know what’s funny? I talked to my sunburn. No no no no no. It was actually quite lovely. It wasn’t even like boiling hot. It was just in time. It was beautiful. And, What, what I, the my boss called me on the way in this morning, and we were just talking, and I said, I can’t decide.
00;04;31;28 – 00;04;53;17
Unknown
Every retreat is different, right? And I said, I can’t decide if it’s your leadership or where you’re at mentally and how you, facilitate the room or where the men are or the the location. But this one in particular felt cleansing and grounding, and I don’t know what it was. We did breathwork and yoga on the beach at sunset.
00;04;53;19 – 00;05;16;03
Unknown
Yep. And I didn’t I didn’t do it. No. I stood it out. I stood in the hut and watched everybody. No, but you and your heels do another yoga breath. I and I know Sandy, but what was so cool about it was it was like a little bit breezy. And so it felt like, you know, how, like, if you’re in the shower and you try to, like, wash away intentions and you’re physically the what?
00;05;16;07 – 00;05;31;04
Unknown
Okay. You didn’t you know, you can’t because you never done this. Not because I’m bad, but you have to turn the right way in the shower, right? Okay. Right. We don’t use that as an opportunity to cleanse our soul. It’s fine. Okay. Well, no. Okay. Well, what I. But I’m with you in spirit. That’s what you’re talking. So.
00;05;31;05 – 00;05;49;21
Unknown
But I’m the beach with the. With the wind. Like it’s just a different environment than doing it in a stagnant room. Yeah, right. And so that was really cool. And that’s how we kicked off the event, which I think set a tone. And then we just had a lot of fun. It was really great. one of the guys brought his boat.
00;05;49;23 – 00;06;09;04
Unknown
It’s not a boat. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He brought his yacht with his full crew. His whole staff. Oh. And during all the breaks and you know, when we weren’t in quote unquote session, he would take different guys out on experiences. And then he did a deep sea fishing trip and then he brought cigars and everybody I mean there were 60 people.
00;06;09;04 – 00;06;26;00
Unknown
So you can put 60 people on the boat. But they they put a lot. And it just he came up to me and he’s like, thank you for letting me do this. Oh, and I said, no, thank you for offering. He goes, this is how I feel of service. He’s like, I want to give, give this experience to people.
00;06;26;00 – 00;06;44;26
Unknown
It was so nice. I’ve never been deep sea fishing. That deep sea. So fun, that deep sea. I have to load myself with Dramamine. With the Dramamine. Like something fierce. But these guys had the best time. But it’s awesome. It’s a whole different experience when you’re pulling those beasts in from Down Under. Yeah. And not. It’s crazy. And then after.
00;06;44;26 – 00;07;05;27
Unknown
So I organized, 14 charters plus plus his boat, and they all went fishing on Thursday morning, and then they brought everything they caught back and we went to restaurants and they, the restaurants cooked their fish. Oh, yeah. It’s called hook and cook. What can cook? So they cook their fish. And I went and met one of the groups.
00;07;05;27 – 00;07;25;21
Unknown
And so I ate their fish. And it was so it was just like this really cool primal experience. Yeah. Of like we call it that. Yeah. It’s very manly. Yeah. Caught that. I caught that fish. I think it was very good. It’s head off. Yeah I got no I don’t think they eat it and I’m 100% positive they did not.
00;07;25;23 – 00;07;42;20
Unknown
You got to take a big bite out of it. Like right. Right. When you pull it from the sea. Oh, yeah. When it’s alive. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, it’s still moving. One guy. Yeah, one guy caught a barracuda. Those. Those don’t eat very well. I mean, they eat you, but. But barracudas. Yeah, they’re. Oh, no, I don’t think there was that one.
00;07;42;21 – 00;08;01;19
Unknown
Yeah. You can’t eat. And then another person caught a shark, and that particular, captain had the shark utensils that they could, like, bring it up or whatever, because you, you normally you just cut the line and let it go because it’s a shark, like, you know, you don’t, you know, shove your hand and you can get the oh, no, no, no, I don’t know what they did, but.
00;08;01;19 – 00;08;24;13
Unknown
And then and then they took those. The one guy told a story of the guy who brought his crew. The guy took a that like a, like, kind of like a spear. And he went to the front of the boat and he just spear to fish and threw it in the boat like this bastard man. Shit, I wish, I wish I had seen that, but I posted on my Facebook, a reel that one of the guys created from his personal experience.
00;08;24;13 – 00;08;46;02
Unknown
And I’m like, this is what I do. Oh, and it was so it was just really, it’s so beautiful. And there was this one moment, I’m normally not in the room because, yeah, I’m a woman and I do not want these men to feel weird. Right. And frankly, I don’t want to feel weird, but I happened to be in the room during this one presentation.
00;08;46;05 – 00;09;25;21
Unknown
he had a guest speaker come in, and he did a almost like what Kim did. for our podcast. Yeah. And took him down to forgiveness. meditation, I guess we’ll call it. Yeah. And one man had such a breakthrough and it was the most beautiful thing to the point where he was having such a breakthrough and such a moment that, all the men came together and put their hands on him, and then they just sat there and listened to a song, and it was the most beautiful, touching moment and of healing for this person.
00;09;25;21 – 00;10;02;19
Unknown
And he had such a transformative experience and he then wrote this beautiful letter, and it was just so healing and so touching. And I don’t have I didn’t grow up a lot of men in my life. So, to, to see this type of vulnerability and connection and want to grow and just be the best human is so beautiful with the context of I want to be the best dad because I want to raise my children to be whole.
00;10;02;19 – 00;10;24;16
Unknown
And it’s just so nice. And what’s funny was this entire retreat was focused on boundaries. That was that was the theme. So. Okay. Yes. And the the guest speaker talked about family legacy and how you bring in, you know, energies and things from your family and how you’re brought up a certain way. And then you just continue. How do you break cycles and stuff?
00;10;24;16 – 00;10;41;19
Unknown
It was it was really, really great. What kind of boundary stuff were they talking about? Boundaries. in work, no boundaries. And family is everything. Everything. But keep in mind, I’m not in the room, right? So I’m not listening. And what were you doing at this time? Just out of curiosity, when I’m not in the room. Yeah. When?
00;10;41;20 – 00;11;00;20
Unknown
When they’re doing all this really deep, important, transformative. Oh, I’m preparing for the next. I’m. I’m calling the fishing charters. I’m driving and getting supplies. I’m going to the restaurants and making sure dinner is ready. I’m working with the yoga person to make sure she has all her equipment. So I. I’m the logistics person room, like doing tequila or something?
00;11;00;21 – 00;11;19;29
Unknown
No. Oh no no no no no. This is I don’t sleep on these retreats. I’m up at I’m in the room at 530 in the morning, and I’m. I’m cleaning up the room at 10:00 at night. Like these. I’m working, but, you know, it’s it’s a sacred container space. And it’s really important that people know that, you know, specifically for these guys.
00;11;19;29 – 00;11;42;16
Unknown
But what’s so cool is this is my 17th retreat that I’ve done. And each and every time it’s these magical things that happen. So it’s so cool. And so we have another one coming up in October and I can’t wait. And I’m super pumped. And what this is the part that I made me cry. they do an MVP at the end of the retreat.
00;11;42;16 – 00;12;01;26
Unknown
And the concept is on the back of your form. Write down who impacted you the most here, who who got you to have the breakthroughs, who was vulnerable, who went above and beyond that kind of thing. And I have to tell you it up. And then we give like an award and, somebody wrote my name down. Oh, yeah.
00;12;01;26 – 00;12;27;18
Unknown
So great. So nice. So we they all come up to me because I met I contact each individual person I know really. You know, I really try to make it as as weight glove as possible. Yeah. And the amount of appreciation for that is so. Yeah, rewarding. And it just makes me want to continue to surf because I see what happens for these people, you know?
00;12;27;18 – 00;12;41;23
Unknown
And then we do, who wants to sign up for the next one? And almost everyone raises their hand. We don’t market these things. They sell out because you experience them. So anyway, very, very cool. I think what I love the most about them, because I had the privilege of, oh yeah, you did go to one in Austin.
00;12;41;23 – 00;13;08;29
Unknown
Yeah, right. That’s right. what I really liked the most about them is they are really vulnerable, emotion focused. Okay. Care focused spaces. Yeah, but mixed in a balanced way. Perfectly. Yeah. With stereotypical masculinity. Oh yeah. Right. Oh it’s so not not things that are, you know, only specific to men, but that tend to be things that draw men in.
00;13;09;02 – 00;13;37;03
Unknown
So there’s certain time just for physical activity that’s like, right, we’re going to go play pickleball. We’re going to go for a run. We’re going to go do whatever we call that sweat, okay. We have to do the daily sweat. Okay. Yes, yes. There’s times where, in that from a mental health standpoint is so important because whenever you’re running some type of group that has a lot of emotional work, it is actually incredibly unhealthy to keep people in those spaces without reprieve for a long period of time.
00;13;37;03 – 00;14;00;28
Unknown
And we’re very conscious of that. Yeah, that is there. There’s a lot of, what is the word consciousness in terms of developing the agenda? It is very specific. It is very, I don’t know what the word is. I can’t think of the word. It’s intentional. there’s there’s a lot of intention that goes into this, and that’s why it’s so important.
00;14;01;04 – 00;14;20;23
Unknown
And some things are optional, right? Like, sometimes we ask you to do the breathwork and we coordinate it, but then sometimes we give you an opportunity to come and do it on your own. And then you can have your own breakthroughs in your own. I’ve never done breathwork. In fact, I’m kind of excited. I, I was sitting outside the room listening to it and the way this man conducted it was the coolest.
00;14;20;23 – 00;14;39;18
Unknown
I mean, it was so great. And so I kind of want to do it in my own. Not with a bunch of men. But yeah, I was going to say no, nothing like they make the breakthroughs. I mean, the what I was hearing was just it’s so cool. So cool. Yeah. They are really neat experiences. But I did very much appreciate that.
00;14;39;18 – 00;14;59;29
Unknown
The last one that we were at, I remember saying to you because of one of the, the parts where they were doing a lot of past trauma work and I remember looking at you and saying he needs to put them back together. He has to put them back together. Is he going to put them back together? And you’re basically like, yeah, just trust the process, right?
00;14;59;29 – 00;15;15;22
Unknown
Trust the process. But my my mental health radar is like, you’re going to leave these people in such a terrible place if you don’t put them together. But these are also professionals. These aren’t randos, right? It’s not like me who’s like, let me be clear. You, man. Yeah, let me read your hippie dippy card. Right. Not like oh, these are legit.
00;15;15;26 – 00;15;34;19
Unknown
A leader of the group does not have a degree in mental health. It does not have. Right. He has. He has other degrees. But the the owner or the founder? Yeah, but he hires people, right. Who are professionals. So this person who was doing it was a professional. Yeah. Yeah yeah, yeah. I started to hear him then bring it back together and put it together and I’m breathing a little bit more.
00;15;34;19 – 00;15;51;10
Unknown
I’m like, oh my gosh, okay. We cannot have no, no, no 60 on earth man. Yeah. No. You know leached into sweat time. No no no no no. That’s just not going to be okay. No. But it is a pretty magical experience from the one that I, went to. So I’m glad that this one was really good.
00;15;51;13 – 00;16;16;06
Unknown
So if anybody listening wants to know more, it’s called front row Dads and you can check it out. it’s just it’s a beautiful group, and I. It’s such a privilege. It’s it’s seriously a privilege for me to be able to serve that group. It’s so wonderful. Tag line. Dad. family men with businesses, not businessmen with families.
00;16;16;08 – 00;16;36;28
Unknown
Right. We’re always the first putting yourself. Always. Just like most of them are entrepreneurs. Yeah. And the reason why this this started was because a lot of the founder and a lot of his, colleagues were business like, you’re go, go. When you’re an entrepreneur, you’re like, running, running, running, running. Right. And then you’re neglecting the things that are supposedly values, right?
00;16;37;04 – 00;16;54;01
Unknown
The supposedly the most important to you. So when you look at your calendar and you say, my family’s the most important, I haven’t seen them in two months because I’m traveling or whatever. He’s helping you restructure that. What does that look like? Where can you let go? Where can you hire? Where can you do this? Where can you dig in?
00;16;54;04 – 00;17;15;09
Unknown
All right, you got a hippie view for us today? I do, it’s a good one. Okay. It’s the Ten of Pentacles. Okay. Oh, look, it’s a little turtle luck. All right, all right. Are you ready? I think so. Good luck is coming. And you will celebrate a windfall or an or an other unexpected financial bonus. And you’re going to appreciate the stability.
00;17;15;09 – 00;17;35;28
Unknown
The springs. A family gathering is on the cards to the usual irritations disappear and you feel the love and support of relatives or close friends. You treat this family in relationships, the card predicts families being joined by love, feelings are declared and commitment follows. A couple moves in together and or announces they’re winning. So here’s the advice appreciate the special bond.
00;17;35;28 – 00;17;55;06
Unknown
She shares a group and the love that comes with the commitment. There is a lot going on in that card. It’s just luck. It means good things. It’s happiness. Good things are going to happen. I have heard that we’re going to get a bonus. I heard that families coming to visit. I heard someone’s getting married. I heard that, well, these are those are options.
00;17;55;08 – 00;18;20;22
Unknown
Those are like this. This could mean this. This could mean that. So it’s a it’s a positive thing. Okay. Just just in general good things are coming. Things are coming okay. Yeah. You know, good things aren’t coming. For who? The day I Sandra Dawley. Oh. Well I mean to our listener is not in Rochester, New York. RTA here.
00;18;20;22 – 00;18;49;13
Unknown
Oh. She’s local. Oh, she sure is. She is. She has an elected official and has been elected many times. And she is. You here for yourself? She’ll say, I’m the D.A.. I’m not the D.A., I’m the D.A.. Okay, okay. Okay, so she’s our D. She’s here. The our D.A. here in Rochester, New York, chief law enforcement officer of our county.
00;18;49;16 – 00;19;15;01
Unknown
Monroe. So I had to find out what this was because I had called Morgan. Who else do you call? Morgan. Right. Like Morgan. What’s a D.A.? The district. The district attorney is basically. It’s a lawyer. Yeah. Who then works essentially for, I think she said the governor, because they make sure that the state laws are they they are the prosecutor on the side of the state, basically.
00;19;15;01 – 00;19;36;18
Unknown
Okay. And I said, well, what do you mean? She’s like, well, someone gets killed, you know, in the city. then essentially New York State’s laws have been violated. And so the, the D.A. determines is the this the case that we are going to take on. So it would be the person who did the shooting against New York State and the D.A. represents in New York State.
00;19;36;19 – 00;19;57;24
Unknown
Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. And I also they also work with the police to help develop the case and. Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, make sure that they have all the proper evidence and make sure all that stuff is it is a big deal so that it doesn’t get thrown out. Huge. They have to be working like this with law enforcement now fingers entwined because they are the people.
00;19;57;24 – 00;20;29;12
Unknown
They are intimately involved with the law they give them. Yes. Oh, they know very much so very much, very much so. Yeah. So, so again, I found out from Morgan that she’s an elected official. She’s been elected many, many times. Her name Sandra Dawley, Sandra Dawley. Okay. And so yesterday this video cam footage comes out, from the police officer from Webster Police Department.
00;20;29;12 – 00;20;52;01
Unknown
His body cam footage, okay, of attempting to pull over the D.A.. So a couple things we kind of put on the table there. He was attempting to pull over a person. Did we know what point? Did not know it was the D.A.. It’s not like she has broad D.A. on her on her license plate. To her chagrin, not everybody knew what her car looked like she was, which surprised the shit out of her.
00;20;52;01 – 00;21;09;18
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, really, really surprised the shit out of her that he didn’t know she throwing a bag of her down the street. People were like, there goes the D.A.. Yeah. Oh, don’t pull that one over. That’s the D.A.. Like you didn’t know what I was driving. Oh, my God, it’s incredible. So this body cam footage comes out. I can’t stop thinking about it.
00;21;09;18 – 00;21;39;05
Unknown
It makes me so angry. So I thought today’s topic would be when do you not have empathy for people? And, the two things that came up for me. The first was I tend to lack empathy for supervisors of mine because I, who are bad. If you’re a good supervisor, I’m out. That’s where we’re at. Right? But if you’re a bad supervisor, I have a very hard time giving you the benefit of the doubt.
00;21;39;08 – 00;21;58;02
Unknown
trying to understand your point of view. And I think that some of my role brownness right in my mind. And I’m a very fair person. If you are someone who’s appointed in a position that’s over mine, and you are someone who’s responsible for the care of other people in an employment setting, you can’t suck. That’s a good point.
00;21;58;08 – 00;22;26;12
Unknown
If you suck, I have no empathy for that. And I will continue to come for you, come for you, come for you. When you continue to do things that are unfair, unjust, that don’t have rationale to them, that don’t make sense, right? I can get behind any supervisor who says, I understand that that might be complicated to understand, but there are a few reasons behind the scenes related to politics related to whatever that will not come out in this conversation, but I want you to know that that’s part of the rationale.
00;22;26;15 – 00;22;49;06
Unknown
That’s okay, because it at least gives me the idea that you have the wherewithal up here in your brain to have worked through some of that. Right? So I it’s a fascinating to me that, that is one of my areas. How many stories do I have? I know times where I have laid the smack down. I know with supervisor I know and I don’t look back, I know it, it makes me very uncomfortable.
00;22;49;13 – 00;23;11;04
Unknown
So call and tell me a story. I’m like, what? You spill? What? What did you do? Well, I know because I it’s something I came because, I mean, in that moment where I am ruthless in the pursuit of justice. If you want to be a colleague of mine and not be really great at your job, I can have a little more empathy for that.
00;23;11;06 – 00;23;37;04
Unknown
If you are someone that I supervise, I can have empathy for that all day. You cannot be my superior and you sure as shit cannot be my superior. Superior and suck at your job. You can not, I, I can’t, I think I’m getting fired up, I think. Can I just stop talking? I can’t makes me so angry. I have so many names fired through my head right now that I just want to throw out here.
00;23;37;06 – 00;23;59;28
Unknown
Yeah, names for me. I am not yourself. You know my people. I know you’re like, oh yeah, I know. So that that probably ties into this because that is an area I do not have empathy. And then this short video we’re about to show is another example of you are above people in this position. You I expect more out of you.
00;23;59;28 – 00;24;20;04
Unknown
I expect you to be better. I expect you to have your bias in check. And when you don’t, that’s when I. I have no empathy for that. Yeah. So my, my where’s my first response when we’re done watching this? Is Gonzalo fired and done. See, why have you not resigned yet? Right. Well, because we’re not gonna talk about it till after.
00;24;20;04 – 00;24;38;10
Unknown
I want to show you this video that Scott pulled up for us. It’s not the entire video. The whole video is about 30 minutes. You can find it easily in a Google search. But this is just the part that I saw from his body cam footage in the very beginning. And my face, it just kept it, kept getting more and more.
00;24;38;10 – 00;24;53;12
Unknown
No, you haven’t seen this yet. No. This is going to be your first time watch. I haven’t heard of it. No, I’ve been so. Oh, you haven’t even heard of it. No. Okay, okay. We want to know who Sandra Dawley was. No idea. Okay. No. Okay. This is my first no. So she’s actually perfect. Great. She’s with a lot of other listeners.
00;24;53;12 – 00;24;59;01
Unknown
I, I have a first three out. This is a great. Yes. Scott and I though now.
00;24;59;03 – 00;25;23;06
Unknown
Okay, here we go. Oh, sorry. I’m the D.A.. I was going 55 coming 55 and a 35. I don’t really care. Okay. So you can can you can you please come over here? You’re on it. This is on a traffic stop, ma’am. Yes it is. You can call Dennis. Call Myra right now. Okay? I’m telling you why stop you.
00;25;23;06 – 00;25;40;15
Unknown
You didn’t stop at all. Did you not hear my lights or sirens or. No, I didn’t actually, I’m on the phone. Okay, well, you’re not supposed to be on the phone like that either. Yes, I am with the handsfree. Absolutely. Okay. Why are you. So she’s not calling him my job? You. You just admitted to me that you were going 55 and a 35 on the truck.
00;25;40;22 – 00;26;01;28
Unknown
Leave me alone. What? Sir Christopher Lee. Christopher, can you stay over here? Ma’am? You’re no traffic. This is a thing. This is illegal traffic. Stop! Do you have your ID? No, it’s in my purse. Here. You have your purse right there. No, this is my lunch. Did you talk to your doctor? Dennis, this is ridiculous. Oh, well. Hello, sir.
00;26;02;00 – 00;26;23;27
Unknown
Good. Ma’am, can you please stay at the back? This is a man. This is legal traffic stop. Can you please stay over here? No, it did you. Look, I had a yes, sir. I stopped here for 535. I’m sorry, sir, and she failed to stop. She drove all the way back home and parked in the driveway. No. And now she’s not.
00;26;23;29 – 00;26;31;20
Unknown
She’s not complying with any of my commands. Ma’am, do not go inside. Oh, my God.
00;26;31;22 – 00;26;53;21
Unknown
Yep, yep. All right. Okay, ma’am. Come outside. You can’t just go inside. This is a traffic stop. Here’s your phone back. I understand the law better than you. Which is nine, five, three. Can you have a supervisor come to the scene? No. Get out of my here. I don’t know what. Why you’re acting like this towards me. Can you please go to the back of the vehicle?
00;26;53;21 – 00;27;10;02
Unknown
I’m not going to. I’m home. I was going, I was okay. I don’t care if you got home. You were supposed to stop at Philips Road when I pulled you over. When my lights were initiated. I didn’t know you were stopping me. There was lots of other people on the road. I was right behind you. Yeah, other people on the road, too.
00;27;10;03 – 00;27;31;27
Unknown
Okay. I was directly behind you, dealing with you, right. Can you please step over here? I’m not going to. What is the reason you’re. You’re so against what I’m doing. I’m doing my job. You say you’re a da, I am the. Okay, okay, let me get you my badge. I am media God.
00;27;31;29 – 00;27;52;20
Unknown
I just don’t understand that towards me. I’m doing my job. I was just going to say I have some. I mean, this was a I am SDA, Monroe County. I understand that that doesn’t give you a right to go 55 and a 35. Any time you are in handcuffs, you understand why you are doing this. Understand that? How do you know what?
00;27;52;27 – 00;28;10;06
Unknown
If you give me a traffic ticket, that’s fine. I’m the one who prosecutes it. Okay, just go ahead and do it. I just don’t understand the hostility. I understand you’re coming home from work, and half the time I was on the phone with Dennis. Tell him why are you pulling me over? You’re not even supposed to be on the phone.
00;28;10;06 – 00;28;31;22
Unknown
So you should know that. Oh, I. And you can stop it. There’s gone. Absolutely. Right now. I want to read you. Okay? If it is a state, that’s great. Okay. I want to read you her statement. So this all comes out okay. Now, this is what I asked Morgan. I said, how the hell did they get the for your request on that that quick right freedom of information law that.
00;28;31;23 – 00;29;01;00
Unknown
Oh because this thing was posted almost immediately. Right. Oh yeah. And who posted the police department? Yeah, they made it. They put it up there and then all the news media grabbed it. Yeah. And so this goes out yesterday and she then is forced or feels in some place that she has to make a statement. So I want to read you the statement because I think this is an interesting part of this conversation as well.
00;29;01;06 – 00;29;29;21
Unknown
This is her statement, her full statement on Monday, April 22nd, 2024, I was driving home following a busy day at work. I admit that I was not paying attention to my speed on Phillips Road in the town of Webster, less than half a mile from my neighborhood, I noticed a Webster police car behind me. Once I realized that the intention of the car was to pull me over, I called the Webster police chief to inform him that I was not a threat, and that I would speak to the officer at my house down the street.
00;29;29;23 – 00;29;55;07
Unknown
The Webster police officer followed me to my house and issued me a speeding ticket for my speed of 55mph in a 35 mile per hour zone. I acknowledged that I was speeding and I accepted the ticket. By 1 p.m. the following day, I pled guilty and sent the ticket to the Webster Town Court because I believe in accepting responsibility for my actions and had no intention of using my position to receive a benefit.
00;29;55;09 – 00;30;24;11
Unknown
Nobody, including your district attorney, is above the rule of law, even traffic laws. Nobody who knows me, understands, or anybody who knows me understands without a doubt that I have dedicated my 33 year career to the safety of this community. My work to ensure the safety and respect of law enforcement is well proven. Over time, I stand by my work and I stand by my commitment to the public safety of Monroe County.
00;30;24;13 – 00;30;45;28
Unknown
Absolutely not. Just silly. Not. She left out. She broke numerous laws. He up any other person? Yep. Never that the officer wouldn’t have treated him the same way again. If that was a black man, I was going to say that. But I’m like, it’s not appropriate. It’s the truth. Forget it. If that was a black man, they would have been shot dead.
00;30;46;00 – 00;31;03;17
Unknown
Dead shot would have thrown the stop sticks out before they even got to his house. Correct. And that would never have allowed him to go to his house. No, they never would have allowed him to get out of the car like that. They never would have allowed him to go back into his car over and over again to get whatever they were getting from the passenger side seat.
00;31;03;18 – 00;31;24;07
Unknown
Could have been a gun. The first thing I thought was getting a gun, right? No way. No way. In that entire they would never have let the talking back happen the way I’m not doing that right. You want any, So whose fault is it? Is it is it hers, or is it the police officer? It’s hers. Well, yeah, but why was the police officer allowing her to do any of that?
00;31;24;07 – 00;31;50;04
Unknown
Both. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. Actually, yeah. So the police should have arrested her immediately. Can you even imagine? Absolutely. The first thing I thought it, that was all the things going through my head to be with him would be for him. I mean, he did under the circumstances. I think he did a pretty good job of trying to figure out what was up versus what’s down, because imagine what’s coming at him, right?
00;31;50;04 – 00;32;10;29
Unknown
He’s like, okay, she’s calling my supervisor, sir. Okay, I still have to do my job. Okay? She didn’t pull over when I told her to pull over. It was a black traffic shot. What is still no. Yeah, but when when you when you mix politics into the whole duty of a police officer, it gets right. We’ve seen these stories before.
00;32;11;02 – 00;32;33;17
Unknown
well, because we all watch all those those shows. Right. So we, my wife and I watched the the body cam show. I think there’s like eight seasons or something. And this happened. I can’t remember where, but it was the mayor and the mayor got pulled over and he and he was drinking, and he was like, calling the chief and saying, hey, you know, die to die.
00;32;33;17 – 00;33;02;10
Unknown
And eventually he had to concede. And, you know, plead guilty and all that kind of stuff. And he eventually I think they even got reelected somehow. But, you know, that’s how it I feel bad for the officers in that situation because they’re like, they understand. All right. This person technically is my boss and they’re in charge. But at the same time, I got a job to do, but also, it’s the aspect of this woman.
00;33;02;10 – 00;33;19;21
Unknown
I’m asking her to do something and she’s not doing it. And now I have to make decisions in the moment. Do I pull my gun right? Do I tase her? You know, do I tase her? Do I grab her by the arms and throw her down? This is again, it’s a it’s a traffic stop, but it’s a traffic stop that’s escalated.
00;33;19;22 – 00;33;37;14
Unknown
Well, now, well yeah, it’s at her house, right? She, she she’s broken. And he even says that he’s like, you continue to break laws that she should be well aware of. Well, if you’re the D.A. at one point in the video, I don’t know if it happened here, but she said, I’m well aware of the laws. I know the laws better than you do.
00;33;37;17 – 00;34;00;23
Unknown
yeah. And when the supervisor shows up, he. He starts telling her, Sandra, you know this? Oh, I didn’t see any part with the supervisor that showed up. Did you see that part, Scott? Yeah. Okay. So what happened then? Basically play it. Sure. Yeah. Hey, this is the supervisor. Oh, here he comes crashing out, resolving for, I guess going 55 and 35 until she didn’t stop at all.
00;34;00;25 – 00;34;22;26
Unknown
Decided to drive home. Called the shooting in the square. I know it’s getting to be a video just here, so let just take care of it, all right? All right. Bye bye. And she’s on the phone every time I talk to Jeff. Jeff. Okay. I was some from the chief. Okay? I’m the supervisor with her. And also, I’m sorry.
00;34;22;28 – 00;34;41;18
Unknown
I didn’t want to pull over. And until it was just, I just didn’t. I figured I’d just go to my driveway, and I called ins, and I said, okay, that’s me. That’s there. Try and stop. Okay. So that’s in the story. Okay. But you should know better, right? I, I was speeding, I was I don’t I know that okay.
00;34;41;21 – 00;35;01;01
Unknown
So why didn’t you just stop like you’re slow? Because I didn’t feel like stopping until. That’s not your choice. You know that. Well, I made it my choice. Okay? Why now? Now you made a bigger deal than it needed to be. It’s a really bigger deal. And people started coming. It’s a much bigger deal. Well, you. You caused that, Sandra.
00;35;01;03 – 00;35;20;10
Unknown
Well, what do you want us to do? Not do our job because it’s. You know, it’s fine. I should write me a ticket. But I was just saying I was like a slap in Steppenwolf’s trial at 530. Okay, well, you broke another law because of that, right? So then you should know better. And she should be arrested for the rest of the offense.
00;35;20;12 – 00;35;39;19
Unknown
Sandra. You mean I’m not doing it? She’s just setting a precedent. What? Did I just pull over? You made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. And you knew what? You were getting stopped. Clearly. Clearly, you’re going to stop now. She’s just been done with it. But now you made it this whole big deal for no reason.
00;35;39;20 – 00;36;06;03
Unknown
Title. Did you breach the registration? Yeah. Okay. You have. Right. She. She’s starting to realize in this moment. Yeah, that she’s fucked. Oh, boy. Yeah, I have not. I was done this correctly. Yeah. She keeps doubling down. Of course she is because she’s trying to utilize on title. I thought, I thought it would be easier. Easier. Oh, apparently I was wrong.
00;36;06;08 – 00;36;29;16
Unknown
Yeah, that was not the right choice. Okay, who’s that guy? You know the deal. If you were to stop you, I’m probably the supervisor. There’s another supervisor. That’s the officer. That’s the attending officer. She should have been arrested. Yeah. You, But a gorgeous day in Webster. The. Yeah. Right. Okay. You can stop. Yeah. So. I’m sorry.
00;36;29;16 – 00;37;00;06
Unknown
I know, I know, zero empathy. I don’t have any empathy. It’s fascinating to me because I was really trying to search for some, but I felt irate. Deplore. Bull. That behavior is deplorable. This is it’s again, what’s the point of having laws when we pick and choose who has to follow them? Right. Absolutely. So. And she so now when somebody else does it right, can’t you point back and be like, well, you didn’t do anything slowly and you posted that.
00;37;00;07 – 00;37;23;00
Unknown
You posted that you did nothing to her. So you can’t do it to me, right? You can’t pick. I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t feel safe on the highway. So I actually continued to drive all the way to my house. Right. We’re not talking one house away, not from the street all the way. We’re talking going through the entire neighborhood to go to my house.
00;37;23;00 – 00;37;38;08
Unknown
Right. And you had the audacity to call the chief and say, oh, there, it’s me and you, hoping you’re clear, right? You did not call the chief to say, right? Hi, chief. Just wanted to let you know I seem to be getting pulled over here. Not a threat. Happy to comply with the law when I get right to my house.
00;37;38;08 – 00;38;09;10
Unknown
No, you said handle it, chief, call this off. The dogs are right because we’re not doing this right. But the entitled a lead. Yeah, you know, I’m above the law I in. So when I was talking to Morgan about it this morning, I said, you know, I, I could take a beat here with this if the minute that she got out of that car, she said, and be really honest with you right now, I had a terrible day at work.
00;38;09;13 – 00;38;28;17
Unknown
My energy, my anxiety is through the roof right now. I just need a minute. I’m aware I was speeding, I’m aware that I drove home and I really apologize. That’s out of character for me. I understand you need to give me a ticket, as you should. I just need a minute. This has been quite the day. That’s human.
00;38;28;19 – 00;38;56;18
Unknown
That’s human. Still not okay. Still needs to be held responsible for it. But I can understand in that moment if there is a sense of humanity and like that, that’s your core right there. That’s speaking. Her core was speaking loud and clear, and her core said, I’m better than you. My job is bigger than yours. I’m, I’m I’m protected politically.
00;38;56;20 – 00;39;22;13
Unknown
You are an idiot for thinking you can come against me, ma’am, I am above the law because I defend the law and I’m as entitled as they come. And that that’s the core. Can I? And that part for me makes me very nervous that she is the district attorney who’s going to be trying cases. Not for long. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
00;39;22;15 – 00;39;46;13
Unknown
Saying she’s going to have to resign. Did she go to work today? That’s my question. And, you know, we’re going to do is, you know, who the real loser is in this whole situation. Look at that sweet face. That sweet face is her little dog. I think it’s a goldendoodle. I don’t know, I’m a golden doodle owner. And, that is that is that is the real shame, because that sweet face deserves better.
00;39;46;15 – 00;40;09;18
Unknown
It’s true. And it’s true. Isn’t that crazy? I just been appalled by that all day. I’ve been seeing people post about it, and then when I read her statement, I got even more mad because I was like, how quickly can we turn a scenario that’s so much bigger into that? Into, oh, nothing to see here. That wasn’t a big deal.
00;40;09;20 – 00;40;41;05
Unknown
Oh, we just took care of it. Oh, don’t worry about it. I graciously accepted the ticket and just frolicked into the breeze. No, bitch, that ain’t what happened. How stupid do you think the people of Rochester are? Seriously? I mean, how stupid. Who sees that video and thinks that you just willingly, you law abiding citizen, took that ticket and said, don’t chocolate chip cookie on your way out like, that it’s not what happened there.
00;40;41;05 – 00;41;01;04
Unknown
But again, this is this is where when the fallout happens, if she doesn’t resign or isn’t fired, we got an even bigger problem. Oh, yeah, I don’t honestly. I mean, I’ve seen some shit, but I can’t imagine that ever happening. So the person she. It should be already done. Did this happened last week? It has not happened yesterday.
00;41;01;04 – 00;41;19;22
Unknown
It has to be investigated. You can’t just remove a Da, she said. She said Monday the 22nd in her statement. So it happened last week. Okay. Yesterday it was just came out yesterday. Yeah. It just came out yesterday. Yeah. Okay. So it’s been a week. So I think you can probably put people on administrative leave. That would be my guess.
00;41;19;29 – 00;41;36;05
Unknown
But you have to do a full on investigation a special. And she said that like going to have to recuse herself from this whole thing and the assistant to or they’re going to have to, appoint a special counsel. Morgan thinks it’s the governor who makes the decision. Yeah, yeah, that’s actually that the governor. That’s true. That’s true.
00;41;36;05 – 00;41;58;09
Unknown
Yep. I don’t I don’t think they have the best of the best relationship either. But, I think that it’s the, governor who makes the final decision. And here’s where politics is not going to help, because anyone who I don’t care how much you supported her in the past, you cannot support this action. And like with a straight face.
00;41;58;09 – 00;42;22;13
Unknown
But this is where this is where the humanness comes in, right? Because people laugh. I think that people will. I don’t know what’s going to happen. This is my first time seeing it. I want to see the whole thing. But I have to do more research. But I worry that people will think, well, I’m right. Rough day at the office?
00;42;22;18 – 00;42;41;16
Unknown
No? Well, you just said you would have empathy for her if she had gotten out of the car and said and owned it, I would have still wanted her held responsible. Yeah, still. Right. But what I would have been able to get behind a little bit more is the ability for her to be able to accept in that moment that she did all of the things that she did.
00;42;41;19 – 00;43;02;24
Unknown
that I could have, like, I could have a human connection to that. Sure. Because but not with all the statements associated with what she said. Every single thing that she spewed was coming straight from her core. That’s who she is as a person. It was clear she believes that you are beneath her. She she believes she is above the law, right?
00;43;02;24 – 00;43;25;23
Unknown
She believes wholeheartedly that she did absolutely nothing that was out of her, you know, godly. She she said the word I don’t care, right? I don’t care, I don’t care. I wasn’t going to stop, I don’t care, right. That’s the truth. She tried she tried to say, I didn’t know it was you trying to get me. And then in the next segment, the next statement, it was, well, I knew you were doing it, but I wasn’t going to do it.
00;43;25;23 – 00;43;40;09
Unknown
Right. So you can’t you can’t make two things. Can’t be true, right? I didn’t know you were trying to get me, but I called the police chief out of, you know, an abundance of caution. I just happened, I just happened to be on the phone with him. Right. Come on. Right. Yeah. No, But I don’t think that people will give a pass.
00;43;40;09 – 00;43;58;23
Unknown
What I do think will happen is that, she will have to go quiet for a little while, and then she’ll go back to being an attorney, and she will get partnered at some firm and still make ridiculous amounts of money. And maybe you believe that she probably. Yeah. My guess is she’s been doing this for this long.
00;43;58;25 – 00;44;21;09
Unknown
Wants to move up to be a judge someday, right. And I think those dreams are out that window. What she should do is she should completely do a a complete about face, own up and and then go out on and go out on the speaking circuit and and tell people how to overcome this elitist alcoholism. Yes. That’s it.
00;44;21;10 – 00;44;41;25
Unknown
Yeah. She needs to take that term. Yeah. God, I’m a recovering elitist asshole. Yeah. I’d love to give you a keynote presentation. Thanks for coming tonight. Hi. My name is Sandra’s Twirly Baby with Sandra Dawley. And I am a former person who thought I was above the law. I said drug.
00;44;41;27 – 00;45;09;05
Unknown
And now I’m here giving speeches for $1,000 a pop. To the rest of you to remind you. Please don’t be an elitist asshole. Change your core. It’s my name. I, I loved that. Me too. Isn’t empathy amazing? Well. We’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff. That’s fine, except you, wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you.
00;45;09;08 – 00;45;31;03
Unknown
I love you, too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the power of empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.
