Episode 245- Can You Change Who You Are? The Truth About Personality and Values

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;48;13
Speaker 1
If you care enough about that aspect of your personality, either bothering people or having a bad reflection on you, or is a part of your life that is actually more important than you’ve given it credit for, that you would start to tackle some of those. Micro tasks in order to make reliability one of your bigger personality traits. And because you’ve tackled those traits over, let’s say, 20 weeks, you now are in a position where you can consider reliability a bigger part of your personality.
00;00;48;15 – 00;01;11;01
Speaker 1
Hey, it’s me Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside. But the truth is, she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes. Hey, bestie. Hi, love. What are you doing?
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Speaker 1
Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast.
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Speaker 2
A podcast about what?
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Speaker 1
Our life, our life as best friends who are more like sisters.
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Speaker 2
Yay! I love us, and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world.
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Speaker 1
Especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right to be our most authentic selves.
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Speaker 2
Oh, man. Okay.
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Speaker 1
You know who doesn’t have high production quality?
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Speaker 2
The blocks, the blanks. I am very aware this is terrible. Terrible speaking. You tell.
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Speaker 1
People.
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Speaker 2
So I’m driving in today listening to the blacks episode because we all know I don’t listen to them as they come out. This is why I think you put this out back in.
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Speaker 1
Oh, I love that you send me.
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Speaker 2
No I don’t. Yeah. So I’m listening to it on the way in and you’re talking about us. And it was so funny because. So I can swear. I mean, we’re, like, obsessed with TV, clearly. And I let her watch things she probably shouldn’t watch. And her new favorite reality show is called the House of villains. And it’s the stupidest reason we got into it was because on Amazon, there’s a sort of like a House of villain show.
00;02;17;10 – 00;02;36;02
Speaker 2
It’s called the Goat. Okay. And it’s basically reality TV stars who may or may not have been villainous in some of their actions. Are competing to be the greatest reality star of all time, the goat. Oh, yeah.
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Speaker 1
And they were villains who now want to be the goat.
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Speaker 2
Not necessarily. They were some a lot of them you could consider. Oh, you know, there’s people from RuPaul’s Drag Race. There’s people from Amazing Race. There’s people. It’s just reality stars from Big Brother, whatever. It’s like random and Taj Ponen Taj something. He’s he’s a comedian. He’s the host. And it is so funny. But the reason we’re watching it is because RuPaul’s Drag Race Alyssa Edwards also has a dance studio and has a Netflix series where he.
00;03;09;29 – 00;03;26;28
Speaker 2
It’s like Dance Moms, but he’s a drag queen with these little kids and it’s so good. So she was on the show. So that’s how we got watching it. So we loved it so much. And then I would Google what other shows are like the go in the house. The villains came up. So that’s how we got onto the house.
00;03;26;28 – 00;03;45;10
Speaker 2
The villains in the house of villains is actual villains from reality stars. So like people who are just straight up nasty or caused the drama or, you know, whatever, it’s like people from Bad Girls Club, like a lot of shows I don’t watch. Okay. But anyway, so, sees that she watched season one and I only watched 1 or 2 episodes, so I don’t know a whole lot.
00;03;45;10 – 00;03;57;05
Speaker 2
And what they do is they compete in challenges like dance offs or, you know, like stupid shit that the ultimate goal is who’s the number one villain in the world, right?
00;03;57;06 – 00;03;59;14
Speaker 3
Next on Disney Plus, who’s your favorite asshole?
00;03;59;21 – 00;04;17;16
Speaker 2
You’re pretty much right. And so she she watched the first one, and then we saw commercial for the second one coming out. And so I think I think we’re in episode four now of off season two. And I’m watching it. She started from the beginning and I’m watching it. I’m like, who is that guy? She goes back, that’s that’s West from the challenge or the Road Rules.
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Speaker 2
And I go, oh my God, that’s West from the blocks.
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Speaker 1
He’s a contestant.
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Speaker 2
He’s a contestant on House of villains right now. Super douche due to the dirtiest of douches. Nasty, conniving. Just.
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Speaker 1
And so this man, this man who is do Chevelle.
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Speaker 2
It looks just like Mark. Great. But just like I’m just like I’m talks like I’m. Oh, great. Very similar to your husband. Oh, yeah.
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Speaker 1
I feel so great about that.
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Speaker 2
He’s got big ass beard.
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Speaker 1
That’s great. So this man who is who is the mayor of Douche Fell is essentially.
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Speaker 2
Trying to win, trying.
00;04;57;23 – 00;05;11;28
Speaker 1
To win the most villainous, while also at the same time wanting to run a reality TV show on entrepreneurs and who is the best entrepreneur on the blocks?
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Speaker 3
Okay, I think using I think calling the blocks a reality TV show is being.
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Speaker 1
Kind of like Joe Gray.
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Speaker 2
I agree to 100% that, but I thought it was interesting.
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Speaker 1
Because it’s about personal brand. Yeah, right. Oh, this is what’s fascinating to me. He if we talk.
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Speaker 2
About identifiable.
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Speaker 1
Brand, that’s who you are as a person. And that’s what Mark had said about him, was that, oh, when he was on that show, he was he what he said was he really wears his heart on his sleeve. Oh. Which was code for he’s not a very kind person.
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Speaker 3
I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I think I had a different way that.
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Speaker 2
That’s good. Yeah. The correct way to say I don’t know who this guy is. Next level.
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Speaker 1
So when you think about personal brand, then you would think, great, so you should be running the villainous TV show or you should be running, you know, something.
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Speaker 2
Like how to. Yeah, to how to be conniving. Yeah, yeah.
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Speaker 1
How to how to cheat the system. Right, right. Or like whatever is in, in your brand. And then all of a sudden you, you think to yourself, you know what I’m going to do, right? I’m going to go to Trump University to get my degree in entrepreneurial leadership management.
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Speaker 2
Right, right, right.
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Speaker 1
Well, sure. Whatever the whatever that that title was, I can I had. Yeah. And I’m going to start an entrepreneur show and that’s the people make the Scooby noise, Scott, because they’re the rules. Right? Because people are like, that doesn’t seem to make sense with the fact that you’re real rude over here. And now, like, next thing is going to probably have some charity and we’re going to be like.
00;06;43;12 – 00;06;54;06
Speaker 2
No, wait, what? It would have made sense if he had been back on those shows a while ago and was like rebranding and whatever. But now to come back out right now, competing to be the number one villain. Yeah.
00;06;54;08 – 00;06;58;29
Speaker 1
Why do you think that is? I don’t know, I thought it was. We need to send some press some way because.
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Speaker 2
People probably want our video. He doesn’t talk about. He doesn’t talk about any of that. You know, when they do, like the interviews with them or whatever.
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Speaker 3
He’s probably not allowed.
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Speaker 2
To or maybe not.
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Speaker 1
Or maybe he’s embarrassed. He does. I might be.
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Speaker 2
He talks about, you know, his past. Oh. What experience? No. On on the reality show and how, you know, he’s just real proud of his do. Sorry.
00;07;21;17 – 00;07;34;02
Speaker 1
I know we all have a role to play. Which brings me to today’s topic, which is perfect. Okay. And it’s about personality. Oh, good. Okay. Mama Halligan gave this to me.
00;07;34;02 – 00;07;35;00
Speaker 2
Oh, it’s an article.
00;07;35;07 – 00;07;51;03
Speaker 1
This little article here on the very top is this podcast question mark. Okay. And then just to further reinforce, there’s a star next to the part she wanted me to read and then not to highlight. No. Oh no. Oh this is also printed. I’m surprised there’s not something on the back because they reuse paper. Oh all the time.
00;07;51;03 – 00;07;53;03
Speaker 1
So they just use the back of the.
00;07;53;09 – 00;07;54;19
Speaker 2
Piece of paper. Okay.
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Speaker 1
So I’m surprised this doesn’t have like a Wordle or some type of game or something on the back of it. The clean sheet.
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Speaker 2
She could she could have just texted you the article.
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Speaker 1
No. Oh, she’s going to expect me to bring this home so they can reuse the ballot part.
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Speaker 2
Okay, okay, okay.
00;08;08;24 – 00;08;29;18
Speaker 1
I can’t share this with you. Okay. Also, so she doubled down here, with a star, and then it says future podcast subject. Oh, so you know what? Thanks, mom. I really appreciate this. Someone else is trying to take over like giving me suggestions for the podcast topics. It’s hard every single week to keep coming up, I can’t wait.
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Speaker 2
What’s the title of the.
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Speaker 1
So the the title or like this little quote on the left hand side said, people can intentionally shape the traits they need to be successful in their lives. They want can be successful in the lives they want. Okay, University of Kentucky Shannon Sauer. Sour sewer. Sewer.
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Speaker 3
Sour.
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Speaker 1
Sour. Zavala la.
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Speaker 3
Blossom.
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Speaker 1
Okay okay.
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Speaker 2
You she and I were over it.
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Speaker 1
No one was over it when Rebecca was going through the TV shows. Thought that was one of them. But I try and pronounce the name and everyone’s over it. Shannon. Shannon. So Shannon, who’s from the University of Kentucky. Okay, I’m not going to read you the whole thing because then that’ll be the whole show. But here’s the part that she started that’s I was interested.
00;09;17;04 – 00;09;49;28
Speaker 1
Can you change your personality? Can personality change? Remember, personality is a person’s characteristic way of thinking, feeling and behaving. And while it might sound hard to change personality, people change how they think, feel and behave all the time. Suppose you’re not super dependable. Oh, fascinating. Interesting. If you. Think, Scott, for being here. I really appreciate that. Suppose you’re not super dependable if you start to think quote.
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Speaker 1
Being on time shows others that I respect them. Quote begin to feel pride when you arrive to brunch before your friends and engage in new behaviors that increase your timeliness, such as getting up with an alarm, setting, appointment reminders, and so on, you are embodying the characteristics of a reliable person. If you maintain these changes to your thinking, emotions, and behaviors over time, voila!
00;10;16;27 – 00;10;46;17
Speaker 1
You are reliable. Personality changed data confirms this idea in general, personality changes across a person’s lifespan. As people age, they tend to experience fewer negative emotions and more positive ones, and more conscientious are more conscientious. Place greater emphasis on positive relationships, and are less judgmental of others. People change a lot, and some people hold pretty steady. Oh, sorry.
00;10;46;17 – 00;11;11;19
Speaker 1
There was a line cut off. There was a line cut off. This is legit half of a line here. So I’m pretty sure that that says some people change quite a lot, and some people hold pretty steady. Moreover, studies, including my own. Thanks, Shannon. That test whether personality interventions change traits over time, find that people can spend can speed up the process of personality change by making intentional tweaks to their thinking and behaviors.
00;11;11;21 – 00;11;19;28
Speaker 1
These tweaks can lead to more meaningful change in less than 20 weeks instead of 20 years.
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Speaker 2
So is that personality or is that a habit?
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Speaker 1
Great question.
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Speaker 3
They’re connected.
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Speaker 1
Okay, say more about that.
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Speaker 2
I don’t think I.
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Speaker 3
Gotta back up my freaking opinions.
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Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.
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Speaker 1
Ross Shannon is a researcher.
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Speaker 2
Therefore she has them all too.
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Speaker 1
Yeah.
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Speaker 2
No, I when when she talked about changing your quote unquote habits, to be more mindful to be on time or early is a personality change that doesn’t make sense to me.
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Speaker 1
Is reliability a personality?
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Speaker 2
I don’t think so. And I mean.
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Speaker 1
I think it is to.
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Speaker 2
Maybe, maybe. But I don’t think that because you’re on time that makes you reliable, that that doesn’t equate to me. You can be on time all day long and still be a very unreliable person.
00;12;07;16 – 00;12;11;10
Speaker 3
So they’re not mutually exclusive, but they do go hand in hand for sure.
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Speaker 2
I do think that they I think it plays a part in your reliability, but there are plenty of people who are not on time who are incredible or like, or incredibly reliable. Oh, like who? Lots of people. Oh, lots of people. I mean, oh, listen. Oh, it’s called priorities. Oh, it’s it’s more important for me to get my kid on the bus and make sure that she is I she.
00;12;41;29 – 00;12;43;28
Speaker 1
Person on my bus. That’s weird.
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Speaker 2
She personalized it. That was weird. Person’s leaving her there and then having to come back and miss the podcast all together. All right. Back to.
00;12;52;15 – 00;12;55;12
Speaker 1
Personality. So reliable.
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Speaker 2
You can rely on your liability reliability.
00;12;59;15 – 00;13;19;06
Speaker 1
As a personality trait. The way that I think about that is if someone says you’re a really reliable person, that strikes me as you’re a really empathic person, you’re a really kind person, you’re a really conscientious person. Those are all things I would equate with my personality in some way, shape or form. Now again, back to personal brand inducible Douche.
00;13;19;07 – 00;13;52;24
Speaker 1
Yes, he also has a personality. He may also be reliable, but he also has other personality traits that make up his personality. So in that case, if West decided I don’t like the persona that I have, I don’t like how I’m being perceived by other people. I’m going to choose to change some character micro parts of who I am, to be more in line with someone who is more thoughtful then.
00;13;52;24 – 00;14;07;09
Speaker 1
Is that just changing those micro components, or is that essentially changing his personality to be more thoughtful? That’s, I think, what she is she is getting at.
00;14;07;15 – 00;14;08;03
Speaker 3
Yeah.
00;14;08;06 – 00;14;30;26
Speaker 1
Yes. And so it, it there has to be a process of changing the micro traits associated with that personality. In my mind, I don’t think you just wake up one day and are like, I’m now the most reliable person in the world. I’ve not changed anything about my micro characteristics. Right? But I have now decided I’m reliable and here’s how I’m reliable, right?
00;14;30;26 – 00;14;42;25
Speaker 1
I think it’s those small things in my mind. It’s so visual. It’s these little things that are building up into one big umbrella term.
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Speaker 2
But is that umbrella term personality.
00;14;45;18 – 00;14;49;23
Speaker 1
In my mind? Yeah. That many umbrella terms.
00;14;49;27 – 00;14;52;21
Speaker 2
I need to Google. Okay. The definition of personality.
00;14;52;22 – 00;14;53;17
Speaker 3
Can’t do that.
00;14;53;19 – 00;15;06;04
Speaker 1
Could you. Maybe it’s little micro tasks that build up into a balloon. And then all of those balloons end up in one of those big nets that hold the balloons. And the big net is called personality.
00;15;06;04 – 00;15;10;00
Speaker 2
I think the big net is values and personality falls under values.
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Speaker 3
I have the the definition according to the American Psychological Association APA.
00;15;14;25 – 00;15;15;15
Speaker 1
Yeah.
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Speaker 3
Personality is the collection of characteristics that make up a person’s unique way of thinking, feeling and behaving. It includes person’s interests, values, abilities, and emotional patterns. Personality is most evident when interacting with others.
00;15;28;24 – 00;15;34;12
Speaker 1
So values are a part of personality. They have personality is the big balloon. That’s a.
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Speaker 3
Cornea.
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Speaker 1
One of your. Yes.
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Speaker 2
Yeah. Thank you for that rescue.
00;15;39;16 – 00;16;12;26
Speaker 1
Thank you. Okay. So values is one of those balloons that gets caught in the net. But if, if my, if I say my values, you say this all the time. If I say one of my values is I want to really give to my family. I really want to spend time with my family. So my big balloon is value is the micro, characteristics under that should be I stop work at 5:00 so that I can disengage and really be a part of my family is whatever it includes.
00;16;12;28 – 00;16;38;13
Speaker 1
I want to carve out time during the week to go to the grocery store so I can make healthy meals for my family, because that’s important. I do not still fly to a conference if my child is really ill. And, you know, we don’t have a good answer about what’s going on for him because that conference is secondary to what’s going on for him, sickness wise.
00;16;38;13 – 00;16;53;28
Speaker 1
Right. So those would be some examples of some of those things that lead into my value of I care about my family that lead into my personality of I am a caring, nurturing, supportive, loving.
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Speaker 2
Whatever human person, right? Yes.
00;16;57;08 – 00;17;01;06
Speaker 1
So that visually that makes a lot of sense to me. So Shannon here.
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Speaker 2
But then but then they also need to be ranked.
00;17;04;11 – 00;17;08;21
Speaker 1
The balloons need to be ranked in the net in theory. Okay. Why?
00;17;08;23 – 00;17;23;16
Speaker 2
Because you can’t sometimes you can’t have both. Just my example today with making sure my kid got on the bus even though it was late, I absolutely if it was more important for me to be on time here for the podcast, I would have said, well, the bus is come and figure it out and left.
00;17;23;19 – 00;17;33;14
Speaker 1
So reliability and in this case, family are both balloons and you had to.
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Speaker 2
I had to order those.
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Speaker 1
Balloons because.
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Speaker 2
I couldn’t do both.
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Speaker 1
Because you couldn’t be in two places at one time.
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Speaker 2
Correct. So the only.
00;17;40;20 – 00;17;49;10
Speaker 1
Reason this is funny is because no one cares that Rebecca was late today, and we we told her that no one cares. But now it’s just really funny to make fun of her in this moment.
00;17;49;11 – 00;18;00;27
Speaker 2
It’s about this, but it’s an it’s an important example because if that’s what I mean about having to that’s what’s hard to understand. The person that.
00;18;01;01 – 00;18;14;14
Speaker 3
Would disagree with you that that you made the correct choice. I mean, well, there might be some people who would disagree with you that that you were late to the podcast because you had to make sure your kid was on the bus. I mean, that that makes perfect sense.
00;18;14;14 – 00;18;15;09
Speaker 2
But you can, you can.
00;18;15;12 – 00;18;15;29
Speaker 3
Everyone here.
00;18;15;29 – 00;18;22;13
Speaker 2
You can analyze that to death. You can say, well, then don’t schedule the podcast so close to when the bus is coming. There’s a there’s a lot of things that complain.
00;18;22;13 – 00;18;36;24
Speaker 3
To you go, you can go deeper into that and be like, well, there’s only so many. I mean, come on, it’s it comes down to every day, comes down to little decisions that we have to make, and you have to order them according to priority.
00;18;36;25 – 00;18;37;20
Speaker 2
Absolutely.
00;18;37;21 – 00;18;48;14
Speaker 3
But and so you’re all you say the family is first and then these things come second. And you do the best you can to make them all work. And that’s it’s what it is. It’s what it’s about every day.
00;18;48;17 – 00;19;30;12
Speaker 2
That’s right. But then I think the crux or the question is, so is it a personality thing because. Sure. Right. But when I think about just the two examples on the table, really reliability versus reliability, not reality, too many, too many artworks reliability versus values. Family values. Right. So like if you were to to break that down, then if reliability was one of my priorities, is that the word priorities or things I want to be known for?
00;19;30;15 – 00;19;50;29
Speaker 2
I would absolutely take all of that into consideration when saying yes to something that’s time oriented. You know, for you know, just for the podcast, I know that the bus is not necessarily reliable due to many factors. So scheduling something that allows enough buffer time would be important.
00;19;51;02 – 00;20;01;05
Speaker 1
Don’t you think that that would be the case only if you needed to be your perfect true sense personality 100% of the time, right? So, you know, like.
00;20;01;05 – 00;20;09;25
Speaker 2
Yeah, but there’s plenty of people who get annoyed or, you know, I don’t, I don’t know.
00;20;09;27 – 00;20;40;06
Speaker 1
Well, but you’re a prime example of someone who is pretty steadfast in your personality and isn’t going to be adjusting that based on other people’s expectations or feedback on what is happening for your personality. Right? Whereas I tend to be maybe a little bit more, flexible. Not in my personality, though, maybe in the outputs of what that personality looks like, depending on what people need in that, in that moment.
00;20;40;08 – 00;21;20;09
Speaker 1
But what what I’m hearing, Shannon, say is certain parts of your personality can be reconstructed. So let’s just use reliability as an example. And not use the family values piece. So if we look at that balloon and we look at the micro steps that are involved in reliability, the examples she gave were setting an alarm clock, putting it in your schedule in a different way, rescheduling the podcast for a different time because you want to make sure that there’s enough buffer time that’s available there between when the bus comes and when the podcast comes.
00;21;20;11 – 00;21;42;17
Speaker 1
I’m trying to think if there’s other examples of ways that you would be more reliable. You’ve committed to being a place, on time at least ten minutes early. So in your calendar, when you say the podcast starts at nine, you actually start the podcast at 845 so that you know that if you are there at 845, you are still on time because really, for real, it starts at nine.
00;21;42;17 – 00;22;16;14
Speaker 1
But you’ve told yourself it starts at 845, right? So what I’m hearing Shannon say is if you care enough about that aspect of your personality, either bothering people or having a bad reflection on you, or is a part of your life that is actually more important than you’ve given it credit for, that you would start to tackle some of those micro tasks in order to make reliable ity one of your bigger personality traits.
00;22;16;16 – 00;22;41;29
Speaker 1
And because you’ve tackled those traits over, let’s say, 20 weeks, you now are in a position where you can consider reliability a bigger part of your personality. And I would think phrased to that way that you’d be all in for that because I get the sense from you that you’re very big on. If you’re going to say that this is important to you, then get your micro.
00;22;42;01 – 00;22;46;15
Speaker 1
I keep wanting to say micro-credentials. So that’s why I pause every time after I say the word micro.
00;22;46;20 – 00;22;47;11
Speaker 2
Now I know what you mean.
00;22;47;11 – 00;22;51;09
Speaker 1
Get your micro tasks in order to better align with that balloon.
00;22;51;13 – 00;22;51;26
Speaker 2
So guys.
00;22;52;00 – 00;22;58;14
Speaker 1
Stop telling me that that’s one of your values. Yeah, and stop pretending, right that that’s one of your personality traits. Words are.
00;22;58;14 – 00;23;24;29
Speaker 2
Cheap. Actions are everything, right? I do as you were talking. The only thing that’s like. It’s like a neon light in my brain. It’s like, why do you think life coach life coaches exist? Why do you think business coaches exist? These people don’t don’t exist and get paid to, you know, applaud your actions. They get paid to look at what your end goal is and then to break it down and figure out what you need to do differently, because clearly you’re doing it on your own to get there.
00;23;25;02 – 00;23;36;25
Speaker 2
So it’s got to be a rewiring, a personality change. I don’t know, I guess I just never defined it as a personality change.
00;23;36;28 – 00;24;03;27
Speaker 1
Yeah. So a value and personality seems to be the hang up that let’s if I say that I really want to start eating healthier, and I want to nourish my body in different ways, and then I am doing my micro tasks associated with, you know, buying better food and going to the gym. And, you know, or taking a walk every day.
00;24;03;27 – 00;24;07;14
Speaker 1
Yeah, whatever. That all sounds terrible, but whatever.
00;24;07;16 – 00;24;09;15
Speaker 2
It’s not in her personality.
00;24;09;17 – 00;24;34;29
Speaker 1
Is that a part of my personality? Yeah, I guess, or is that actually there’s the micro tasks, and then the balloon is healthier, you know, better care for my body, whereas then part of my personality. So I’m thinking, again, it’s really helpful for me to think about the vertical, the the micro tasks, and then the balloon and then the balloon in the not.
00;24;34;29 – 00;24;59;29
Speaker 1
So then if I think about the big net is the big net, in that case that I’m saying that my life is is valuable, that I it’s a part of my personality to prioritize my, my wants and needs and to see myself as a human that is deserving of care, even if that’s coming from myself. Is that the is that the personality?
00;24;59;29 – 00;25;05;00
Speaker 1
That’s what I think we’re struggling with is how how do you how do you speak?
00;25;05;01 – 00;25;13;12
Speaker 2
Well, according to the definition that’s what it says. Scott, do me a favor. Ask Marianne.
00;25;13;14 – 00;25;15;25
Speaker 1
Oh yeah. What, what don’t don’t.
00;25;15;27 – 00;25;17;19
Speaker 2
Don’t you don’t want to marry.
00;25;17;23 – 00;25;23;24
Speaker 3
Don’t half. So Marianne is ChatGPT right. I, I, I asked Joe to do that before, so.
00;25;23;24 – 00;25;24;17
Speaker 1
Okay. Where’s Joe?
00;25;24;21 – 00;25;25;16
Speaker 3
He’s by me.
00;25;25;16 – 00;25;28;27
Speaker 1
Okay, turn us on. We need to talk to Joe for a second, please. Why?
00;25;29;04 – 00;25;30;13
Speaker 3
Because I don’t have him.
00;25;30;16 – 00;25;31;28
Speaker 2
Okay? It’s like. Well, you just asked Joe.
00;25;32;03 – 00;25;34;28
Speaker 1
He doesn’t have to talk to us. We need to talk to him.
00;25;35;01 – 00;25;36;06
Speaker 2
Just ask Joe to quickly.
00;25;36;06 – 00;25;37;05
Speaker 3
Oh, he can hear you, so.
00;25;37;07 – 00;25;38;03
Speaker 1
Okay. Hi, Joe.
00;25;38;03 – 00;25;43;07
Speaker 2
Hi, Joe. Will you ask Marianne values? Is it values versus personality?
00;25;43;07 – 00;25;50;03
Speaker 1
Yeah. What is the difference between values, your personal values and your personality? Oh I.
00;25;50;06 – 00;25;50;29
Speaker 3
Amongst yourselves.
00;25;50;29 – 00;25;52;24
Speaker 1
Like, I like that.
00;25;52;27 – 00;26;00;09
Speaker 2
I think that’s where and again, it’s probably just my own screwed up brain. I’ve, I’ve determined what the definitions of things have.
00;26;00;09 – 00;26;05;04
Speaker 1
You associated values and personalities to be one in the same.
00;26;05;06 – 00;26;05;28
Speaker 2
No.
00;26;06;01 – 00;26;06;20
Speaker 1
No.
00;26;06;22 – 00;26;12;04
Speaker 2
I have associated values drive my personality.
00;26;12;07 – 00;26;14;09
Speaker 1
Yeah. Me too.
00;26;14;11 – 00;26;18;10
Speaker 2
So in my mind, if you’re do using your visual values, our highest.
00;26;18;17 – 00;26;20;03
Speaker 1
Values are the net.
00;26;20;05 – 00;26;30;06
Speaker 2
Yes. And then what are the balloons? The individual parts of my personality. I need to have fun all the time and laugh I need to.
00;26;30;09 – 00;26;32;12
Speaker 3
Is there any helium in that balloon? I love when.
00;26;32;12 – 00;26;36;18
Speaker 1
That. Oh, yeah. Always. Yeah. You know, she don’t have no flat out balloons.
00;26;36;18 – 00;26;37;00
Speaker 2
Oh, no.
00;26;37;00 – 00;26;38;29
Speaker 1
That’s actually super.
00;26;39;05 – 00;26;40;15
Speaker 3
Good to compare balloons on this.
00;26;40;20 – 00;26;45;26
Speaker 1
They’re super popped up. Yeah. Half of mine are on the ground. I’m hanging on from last year.
00;26;45;26 – 00;26;49;21
Speaker 2
All right. Those pinhole. Oh yeah. All of Rebecca’s are like me me me me me me.
00;26;49;21 – 00;26;53;04
Speaker 1
Me me me me me me I’m so because like I there’s so much going.
00;26;53;04 – 00;27;04;28
Speaker 2
On. Yeah it’s so true. So multiple colored strings. Oh yeah. Yeah. Some of them, some of the strings are longer than others. All the balloons are equally puffed up. Exactly the same. Wow. They are a different color in.
00;27;04;28 – 00;27;06;05
Speaker 1
This metaphorical journey.
00;27;06;05 – 00;27;24;03
Speaker 2
This is beautiful. The knot is very specific to a knot that you would go crab fishing with. So that kind of that yours is not you’re not does not look like that. You’re. Oh wait, I didn’t feel the same color I 100% all the way. In fact, your visual.
00;27;24;06 – 00;27;32;28
Speaker 1
One that’s a different color. And that’s what’s telling me that that one’s the most important. You should pay attention to that. But there’s only one. I can’t have multiple ones that are different colors. Oh, all.
00;27;32;28 – 00;27;35;06
Speaker 2
All of mine are different, and all the strings are different.
00;27;35;11 – 00;27;37;01
Speaker 1
Why are the strings different?
00;27;37;03 – 00;27;41;04
Speaker 2
Because those building blocks on those strings, in my mind, they’re both like a kite.
00;27;41;04 – 00;27;42;04
Speaker 1
Okay. Yeah.
00;27;42;06 – 00;27;46;24
Speaker 2
Okay. Okay. Those bows represent the micro. What do you call.
00;27;47;00 – 00;27;49;00
Speaker 1
The micro hurt micro?
00;27;49;03 – 00;27;58;09
Speaker 2
Micro balloon. Okay. Different personality traits have different bows associated with them.
00;27;58;11 – 00;28;01;09
Speaker 1
Different personality traits.
00;28;01;09 – 00;28;03;08
Speaker 2
Because the personality trait is the balloon.
00;28;03;11 – 00;28;03;21
Speaker 1
So.
00;28;03;21 – 00;28;08;16
Speaker 2
And you want the balloons are all the same size. They’re all large round okay.
00;28;08;16 – 00;28;10;02
Speaker 1
Oh they’re round. They’re not they’re.
00;28;10;02 – 00;28;14;05
Speaker 2
Not in a teardrop. No they are. These are the expensive ones. You get the.
00;28;14;05 – 00;28;17;17
Speaker 1
Pi. No, they’re not even latex. Those things are plastic and.
00;28;17;18 – 00;28;21;06
Speaker 2
Oh yeah, they’re hard as fuck. Yeah, yeah. In fact, they probably don’t even have air in them. They’re just.
00;28;21;06 – 00;28;41;23
Speaker 1
Oh, no, it’s just pure magic and pixie dust. So okay, now I had asked if if the values in personality were combined in the big net. Not so. My hearing you say in your mind is that values are the net, personality is the balloons and the bows are the micro-credentials clarify.
00;28;41;28 – 00;28;47;11
Speaker 2
In my mind, that doesn’t mean it’s true. Yeah, that’s real. Yeah. Or that’s accurate. Absolutely.
00;28;47;11 – 00;28;50;00
Speaker 1
That’s I’m just trying to have I’m just trying to figure out what’s happening in that.
00;28;50;00 – 00;28;58;02
Speaker 2
Hamster wheel in there. In this. Yeah. There’s cobweb crap. Yeah. Which is not really cobweb. It’s more like cotton candy. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
00;28;58;05 – 00;28;59;10
Speaker 1
Absolutely. Yeah.
00;28;59;13 – 00;29;00;10
Speaker 2
And you can see here.
00;29;00;11 – 00;29;01;17
Speaker 1
Oh, it’s absolutely I.
00;29;01;17 – 00;29;02;27
Speaker 3
Texted you the, Marriott.
00;29;02;28 – 00;29;04;08
Speaker 2
Oh, I don’t have my phone.
00;29;04;10 – 00;29;05;00
Speaker 1
He didn’t text.
00;29;05;00 – 00;29;06;19
Speaker 2
You. Okay.
00;29;06;22 – 00;29;07;12
Speaker 3
Oh.
00;29;07;14 – 00;29;09;09
Speaker 1
Okay. Okay. So. Okay. Let me.
00;29;09;13 – 00;29;10;11
Speaker 2
See what’s in my more.
00;29;10;11 – 00;29;19;09
Speaker 1
I read this. Thank you Joe okay. So in your mind values are at the top. Personality are the big balloons. And the micro tasks are the bows.
00;29;19;09 – 00;29;22;14
Speaker 2
The bows which are the. So give me an example of a.
00;29;22;19 – 00;29;23;26
Speaker 1
Personality.
00;29;23;28 – 00;29;28;24
Speaker 2
Trait. Happy go lucky.
00;29;28;26 – 00;29;34;26
Speaker 1
Okay. So your personality is just going to be fun and and I’m going to make everything fun.
00;29;35;03 – 00;29;37;28
Speaker 2
That’s one balloon under the on that the.
00;29;37;28 – 00;29;39;01
Speaker 1
Bow on the bows.
00;29;39;01 – 00;29;44;27
Speaker 2
Are you do you give people the benefit of the doubt? You don’t get caught up in the details.
00;29;44;29 – 00;29;47;01
Speaker 1
You let things.
00;29;47;01 – 00;30;00;24
Speaker 2
Roll off here. They roll off my back. You are incredibly flexible and able to work with things. You understand where people are coming from. You don’t put your needs over anybody else’s. It doesn’t matter. Happy go lucky people don’t do that. Those are the boats.
00;30;00;27 – 00;30;02;00
Speaker 1
That one’s interesting.
00;30;02;00 – 00;30;03;22
Speaker 2
Yeah. You’re definitely not happy go lucky.
00;30;03;22 – 00;30;04;20
Speaker 1
No. And I also you.
00;30;04;20 – 00;30;05;20
Speaker 2
Wouldn’t you say.
00;30;05;22 – 00;30;09;19
Speaker 1
Happy go lucky with not putting other people’s needs in my own.
00;30;09;22 – 00;30;13;04
Speaker 2
Right. But see I that’s interesting. So therefore, you know, it was all.
00;30;13;05 – 00;30;21;16
Speaker 1
Yes. Eating because your bones are aspects of your personality that you would assign to that. And in order to.
00;30;21;16 – 00;30;27;11
Speaker 2
Achieve and maintain that balloon, you have to hit all these things. Okay. And then again.
00;30;27;15 – 00;30;30;03
Speaker 1
Please, what’s the value.
00;30;30;05 – 00;30;30;26
Speaker 2
Happy go lucky.
00;30;30;27 – 00;30;35;22
Speaker 1
No, no, that’s the personality the the value. You what you value your your big net.
00;30;35;22 – 00;30;37;27
Speaker 2
That’s how fun the balloons is.
00;30;37;27 – 00;30;43;14
Speaker 1
That’s fun. You you want an excuse? You want a positive, fun experience for people.
00;30;43;16 – 00;30;44;29
Speaker 2
And myself at all times.
00;30;45;04 – 00;30;51;09
Speaker 3
Can you guys, please reference where in the psych 101 plus that you found all this stuff?
00;30;51;16 – 00;30;52;11
Speaker 2
I just made a shout out.
00;30;52;14 – 00;30;53;29
Speaker 1
No no no no no no no no.
00;30;53;29 – 00;30;57;22
Speaker 3
This feels like like we’re in some like, group discussion and.
00;30;57;22 – 00;31;00;13
Speaker 1
Yeah. No, we’re in. I’m right back.
00;31;00;13 – 00;31;02;18
Speaker 2
And we’re in my brain.
00;31;02;18 – 00;31;10;14
Speaker 1
We’re in. We were somehow we all got roped into Rebecca’s cotton candy brain. And what we’re doing is we’re all taking those white little sticks, and we’re.
00;31;10;16 – 00;31;11;20
Speaker 2
We’re like, wrapping in some.
00;31;11;20 – 00;31;14;22
Speaker 1
Stuff. And then we’re eating it. This is we’re like, really?
00;31;14;22 – 00;31;19;29
Speaker 2
This is our morning conversation. And she’ll just pose a question and then we’ll each of us approach.
00;31;19;29 – 00;31;25;14
Speaker 1
It 100% what we do. In the car all the time.
00;31;25;14 – 00;31;44;19
Speaker 2
Yeah. Sometimes I’m in the shower washing my hair. I’m like, wait a minute, did you think about this? But this is how we are able to dissect and figure out each. We. We figured you out the other day. We talked about we class. We, talked about what was the overall conversation. It was about why we do the things we do in certain relationships.
00;31;44;19 – 00;31;45;20
Speaker 3
And you heard me out.
00;31;45;22 – 00;31;51;23
Speaker 2
No, no, we had a fundamental moment. Yeah. Based on doing this exact exercise, we.
00;31;51;23 – 00;31;56;29
Speaker 1
Went through the whole thing and I said, this is what I do. And she said, no, this is what I do. I said, why do you do it like that?
00;31;56;29 – 00;31;58;06
Speaker 2
And I said, why do you do I like.
00;31;58;07 – 00;32;04;18
Speaker 1
To do it like that. And what we came up with this, this is fascinating. Just a little, little aside time here. Sure.
00;32;04;20 – 00;32;10;05
Speaker 2
We just pause for a minute, like personality. Everyone pause thinking a person. I mean, it is personality ality.
00;32;10;12 – 00;32;22;19
Speaker 1
What we decided was that in my mind, certain people are given a title. And when you are given that title, there are certain allowances and freedoms that come along with to have.
00;32;22;20 – 00;32;25;22
Speaker 2
Very similar to the balloon and the and the check boxes.
00;32;25;25 – 00;32;43;14
Speaker 1
The boat friend has a title, husband has a title, child has a title. Parent school teacher has a title. Right that you are. You’re put into this title. And and I do a lot of assessing that to ensure that.
00;32;43;14 – 00;32;44;16
Speaker 2
You deserve to.
00;32;44;16 – 00;32;46;12
Speaker 1
Be in your correct title.
00;32;46;17 – 00;32;51;18
Speaker 2
Right. Your title can be revoked. Yeah. It’s a it takes a little time for your very.
00;32;51;18 – 00;32;54;01
Speaker 1
Rarely is a title revoked which is part of the.
00;32;54;01 – 00;32;56;04
Speaker 2
Problem. Yeah. Well because that.
00;32;56;04 – 00;33;16;14
Speaker 1
Assessment yeah is put into the title that once you’re finally given that title, if you then don’t, like act into that title or become that title, then I’m highly confused because I did all the math, right to determine why you did, why you should have been in the title to begin with. So, for instance, if you’re.
00;33;16;14 – 00;33;16;27
Speaker 2
Saying all.
00;33;16;27 – 00;33;49;12
Speaker 1
That friend title, right? And then all of a sudden I’m on the side of the road like really not in a great place. And I got in this massive car accident and I call you bawling and you are like, I’m sorry, I can’t be there. I’m getting my hair done in an hour. Then I’m like, we have a title problem here because that’s not what someone in that role does.
00;33;49;15 – 00;33;50;00
Speaker 2
Right.
00;33;50;03 – 00;33;52;10
Speaker 1
So this is what we determined and.
00;33;52;12 – 00;34;05;21
Speaker 2
I determined I do not do that. I do not give people titles I am very feeling and how much I like you guys. But your titles.
00;34;05;21 – 00;34;05;26
Speaker 1
Are.
00;34;05;26 – 00;34;28;27
Speaker 2
Fluid. Yeah. Or if you’re given a title at the beginning they’re not title like I determine everything is energy focused for me. So like I will absolutely go above and beyond if in that moment I feel energetically drawn to do that, or I have the capability and the time to do that, I will do all of that. But the same scenario could happen when I’m not in that good place.
00;34;28;27 – 00;34;52;02
Speaker 2
And so I would choose a different, different action. Right? I guess is, yeah. Is the word right now certain titles, quote unquote titles do hold much more weight. And even if I’m not in the mood or whatever you you do what you need to do because that’s part of part of it. But, yeah, it’s very energy focused for me.
00;34;52;05 – 00;34;57;00
Speaker 1
This is how I solve the problems of the world. What it just so just this is how we solve the.
00;34;57;00 – 00;35;01;11
Speaker 2
Problem or putting our tools together and making the perfect. Yeah.
00;35;01;13 – 00;35;12;13
Speaker 1
Yeah. We then understand each other and then we understand ourselves and then we move on. And then now we know that this is how we need to. Yeah. Yes. Very clear. So that’s like 101 anyway. That’s just happening right here.
00;35;12;13 – 00;35;16;02
Speaker 2
That’s right. And this is, this is how we communicate so much more.
00;35;16;02 – 00;35;23;09
Speaker 1
So okay. So I’m hearing values for me. Yes. Personality and then micro.
00;35;23;11 – 00;35;25;18
Speaker 2
What is it before you read that. What are what are yours.
00;35;25;18 – 00;35;30;13
Speaker 1
So mine is micro tasks to use your same analogy or are the boats the.
00;35;30;13 – 00;35;30;25
Speaker 2
Boats on the.
00;35;30;25 – 00;35;35;12
Speaker 1
Strings that are on the strings. Right. I think my bows look really different from yours. Just so we’re.
00;35;35;12 – 00;35;36;26
Speaker 2
Clear,
00;35;36;28 – 00;35;38;10
Speaker 1
In the visual image, what are your.
00;35;38;10 – 00;35;38;25
Speaker 2
Boats look like?
00;35;38;25 – 00;35;39;22
Speaker 3
How the hell is that?
00;35;39;23 – 00;35;43;00
Speaker 1
They are, it was a it was a glitch in the matrix.
00;35;43;03 – 00;35;43;28
Speaker 3
Certainly was.
00;35;43;28 – 00;35;44;05
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;35;44;09 – 00;35;45;19
Speaker 2
Wait, what are you talking about? Okay.
00;35;45;20 – 00;35;47;29
Speaker 1
I’m just. I’m just flashed on the screen. Oh, yeah.
00;35;48;06 – 00;35;50;03
Speaker 2
It was just a glitch. Okay.
00;35;50;06 – 00;35;53;26
Speaker 1
Yeah. You took the blue pill. It’s fine.
00;35;53;28 – 00;35;55;17
Speaker 2
So. Okay, so you’re supposed to do your.
00;35;55;17 – 00;36;08;00
Speaker 1
Bows look like. Oh, they are pristine. They are almost like a bow tie, but like a really taut, clear. Yeah. Defined bow tie.
00;36;08;00 – 00;36;09;18
Speaker 2
So mine is, you know, there’s you.
00;36;09;20 – 00;36;19;12
Speaker 1
Let me tell you what yours is. So ribbon. There’s this some type of ribbon. Now that you then you tie it and it’s like whimsy. Flimsy.
00;36;19;20 – 00;36;26;06
Speaker 2
Yes. So you know the, you know, the trendy hair bows that are on the clips, each one of them. And they’re long, flowy and real pretty.
00;36;26;10 – 00;36;29;11
Speaker 3
I like the word flimsy. Flimsy. Is that really a word?
00;36;29;14 – 00;36;32;16
Speaker 2
It is now because that absolutely is my light. Yeah.
00;36;32;21 – 00;36;33;15
Speaker 1
Right. Yeah.
00;36;33;15 – 00;36;39;10
Speaker 2
Okay. Oh yours is and they are. But they are big big ambu. Yeah. Some of them are smaller.
00;36;39;10 – 00;36;39;23
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;36;39;23 – 00;36;49;01
Speaker 2
Because again the micro the micro they’re not equal okay. They’re not equal. And closer to the balloon the bigger they are. Can they go smaller. Smaller space. Okay okay. Yours are the.
00;36;49;01 – 00;36;49;14
Speaker 1
Oh my.
00;36;49;14 – 00;36;51;08
Speaker 2
Sweet little.
00;36;51;10 – 00;36;52;06
Speaker 1
All of my bows are the.
00;36;52;06 – 00;36;53;00
Speaker 2
Same size and they’re.
00;36;53;00 – 00;36;56;12
Speaker 1
All they are not. And they’re offering absolutely black. Yeah.
00;36;56;15 – 00;36;58;08
Speaker 2
And they are bow ish.
00;36;58;10 – 00;37;00;03
Speaker 1
Very militant. Yeah.
00;37;00;03 – 00;37;02;00
Speaker 2
She ties. Yes. But still sweet and cute.
00;37;02;00 – 00;37;06;12
Speaker 1
And they are not even at a little angle. Like there’s some way that we’ve concocted that.
00;37;06;13 – 00;37;15;02
Speaker 2
It’s so perfectly there’s, there’s no wind. It’s a flameless room. No. Or whatever. The fuck you. The wind. No winless wind. Let’s win this place.
00;37;15;04 – 00;37;17;07
Speaker 1
Love me a flame in a windless close.
00;37;17;11 – 00;37;22;19
Speaker 2
Here’s my air is my strand. Oh, yeah. And they’re all different colors and styles.
00;37;22;19 – 00;37;26;07
Speaker 1
And it’s a frickin shit show in there, not mine.
00;37;26;13 – 00;37;30;08
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly it. Yeah.
00;37;30;11 – 00;37;40;21
Speaker 1
So then you have my balloons. That are all the same color, right? The strings are also the same color. They’re white. I do have one extra balloon that is a different color.
00;37;40;24 – 00;37;41;21
Speaker 2
It’s definitely red.
00;37;41;23 – 00;37;48;09
Speaker 1
And that is what they do. The red. It’s almost like that’s what I’m working on right now is, is that color blue. Oh right.
00;37;48;16 – 00;37;51;07
Speaker 2
Oh. So that makes a lot of bows.
00;37;51;07 – 00;37;53;17
Speaker 1
And just so we’re clear, there’s not a lot of micro bows.
00;37;53;17 – 00;37;54;23
Speaker 2
There isn’t because I’m very.
00;37;54;23 – 00;38;20;06
Speaker 1
There’s way too many things to be thinking about. So like three tops is probably a and not all of them will be able to have three maybe four tops. Four feels four feels better to me, but many do not have four of the micro bows. Then you have the balloons. And so the balloons in my mind are the, the values or the traits that I hold dear.
00;38;20;12 – 00;38;45;11
Speaker 1
My beliefs, my who I want to be as a person. And then the the net holding them all is Aaron. That is my personality. And so there’s not any balloons under the net that do not properly encapsulate some part of my personality.
00;38;45;18 – 00;38;58;26
Speaker 2
I’m also very clear that your net is like a spiderweb. It’s very clear and delicate and sticky. Very clear and it’s it’s holding all those balloons because we can’t waver.
00;38;58;29 – 00;38;59;19
Speaker 1
Oh, interesting.
00;38;59;22 – 00;39;15;04
Speaker 2
Mine is the thick crab net that’s scratchy. And can absolutely pop the balloon, which is why the balloon has to have that hard outer shell. Because if it doesn’t it’s very easily scratched and punctured.
00;39;15;06 – 00;39;21;00
Speaker 1
And in my mind my that was the same as one of those nets that kids put their stuffed animals in in the corner there room.
00;39;21;01 – 00;39;21;17
Speaker 2
Oh soft.
00;39;21;22 – 00;39;25;05
Speaker 1
It’s a soft white. No flexible net.
00;39;25;06 – 00;39;25;17
Speaker 2
No.
00;39;25;24 – 00;39;27;17
Speaker 1
That’s what it was in my mind.
00;39;27;19 – 00;39;32;19
Speaker 2
I mean I can see that, but ears. So there’s a difference enough. There’s the.
00;39;32;19 – 00;40;07;17
Speaker 1
Differences. And and our and the balloons that have floated up there into our rather consistent for me, they have been rather consistent for me for a long time in my life. And that’s why it’s sticky. Because they are. And I’m confident that I like a majority of those characteristics. Now as I go through the things in my life that really start to get me pulling at one of my balloons, for instance, my empathy balloon, right?
00;40;07;17 – 00;40;39;14
Speaker 1
And I need to unpack that. I got to take that balloon down, and I got to look at what those little bows are that are on it. And I have to ask myself, inevitably, empathy is a massive part of my personality. If one balloon was going to be bigger than the rest, it’s that one, right? But what I’m trying to do as I’m investigating that balloon, is trying to figure out if the bows that I’ve put on it are the correct bows, or if they are trauma bows, or if they are bows that I thought I had to put on there for whatever reason.
00;40;39;20 – 00;40;41;00
Speaker 1
Right. Because someone told.
00;40;41;00 – 00;40;41;27
Speaker 2
You that that’s how.
00;40;41;27 – 00;41;00;27
Speaker 1
It is. And so it’s not the case that, you know, from a changing of my personality that I would expect that my balloons would be drastically different. But I would instead think of taking the balloon down and adjusting the bows and then putting it back up into the net.
00;41;00;29 – 00;41;02;03
Speaker 2
So that makes a lot of sense.
00;41;02;03 – 00;41;07;21
Speaker 1
Different for me than what I hear her saying. Okay. I hear her saying, you know.
00;41;07;25 – 00;41;09;04
Speaker 2
The balloon has to change.
00;41;09;04 – 00;41;11;22
Speaker 1
Part of my personality. What I really.
00;41;11;24 – 00;41;14;18
Speaker 2
Well yes the balloon itself has to change that.
00;41;14;18 – 00;41;45;01
Speaker 1
There’s something about my personality that I either don’t like or I want to add or let’s say I didn’t like that. I was incredibly definitive. You know, and I wanted more flexibility. Well, maybe that balloon that’s already in there related to definitive would adjust a little bit based on the bows, but I don’t know if I could ever see myself completely ripping a balloon out of there and putting a brand new balloon in.
00;41;48;01 – 00;41;56;21
Speaker 1
Okay. Because I also feel really confident and solid in my personality that there’s tweaking that needs to be done within that.
00;41;56;26 – 00;42;03;16
Speaker 2
Well sure. I think that for sure all at all humans, I think we’re all supposed to grow. I don’t think you, I don’t think you hit your climax at 42.
00;42;03;16 – 00;42;11;00
Speaker 1
But in my mind, I think I’m hearing her say that sometimes as the complete balloon change out is necessary.
00;42;11;03 – 00;42;12;05
Speaker 2
Necessary.
00;42;12;08 – 00;42;15;27
Speaker 1
Maybe. And I. That sounds like disassociation to me. Well, that’s.
00;42;15;27 – 00;42;20;29
Speaker 2
Why, that’s why. That’s why I need some definitions. Because. Okay. Go ahead. Sorry.
00;42;21;01 – 00;42;52;16
Speaker 1
Marianne says that personal values are core beliefs are principles that guide behavior and decisions. Some examples would be honesty, kindness, loyalty where as a personality is the unique traits, characteristics, and patterns of behavior that make someone distinctive, extroverted, agreeable, introverted. Personal values are shaped by your experiences, your culture, your family upbringing, and your personal reflection. They can evolve over time.
00;42;52;18 – 00;43;19;19
Speaker 1
Personality is influenced by genetics and the environment, and it tends to remain relatively stable, according to Marianne, not according to Shannon. Role in behavior. Personal values act as an internal compass, influencing how a person judges what is right or wrong in the decisions that they make. For example, someone who values honesty will avoid lying. Personality influences how someone interacts with others and responds to situations.
00;43;19;19 – 00;43;47;15
Speaker 1
For example, an extroverted person may enjoy social events, while an introverted might prefer smaller, quieter gatherings and then changeability. Personal values can change over time with new experiences, perspectives, or significant life. Events and personality is typical. Stable, typically stable across a lifespan. Although people may develop greater self-awareness and modify their behavior. That’s the just.
00;43;47;17 – 00;44;03;19
Speaker 2
A where as Marianne Button, our whole lives loves you now. Marianne. Yeah, so Marianne is saying that you can do behavioral adjustments, but at the end of the day, your personality is your personality.
00;44;03;21 – 00;44;04;14
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00;44;04;16 – 00;44;07;17
Speaker 2
Which I kind of agree with. So.
00;44;07;21 – 00;44;21;27
Speaker 1
So Marianne is saying you can do personality adjustments to your balloons and your bows. But that your net your net is your net. What your net is.
00;44;21;29 – 00;44;23;21
Speaker 2
Yeah. I mean.
00;44;23;23 – 00;44;25;15
Speaker 1
Shannon here is.
00;44;25;15 – 00;44;26;29
Speaker 2
Saying you can change your net is.
00;44;26;29 – 00;44;33;20
Speaker 1
Saying your net can be changed. So the real question that would have to be answered is.
00;44;33;23 – 00;44;35;01
Speaker 2
Scott, is your net.
00;44;35;01 – 00;44;44;23
Speaker 1
Changing or are your balloons changing? And is Shannon mixing values for personality?
00;44;44;25 – 00;44;45;25
Speaker 2
Well, that’s Scott.
00;44;45;28 – 00;45;00;15
Speaker 3
I was just going to say Marianne’s just regurgitating what other people have shoved in her, so that sounds weird, but, but so so Shannon, for all I know, that’s right. Could be on the forefront of new thought. That’s right.
00;45;00;15 – 00;45;02;16
Speaker 1
That is not yet in Marianne.
00;45;02;22 – 00;45;10;05
Speaker 3
That that could be you know, valid. So we have to take Marianne with a grain of salt. That’s how I look at it. Correct.
00;45;10;07 – 00;45;12;21
Speaker 2
I think we to take everything with a grain of salt. What I.
00;45;12;21 – 00;45;13;03
Speaker 1
Have to.
00;45;13;03 – 00;45;16;03
Speaker 3
Say specifically, I ChatGPT.
00;45;16;05 – 00;45;26;01
Speaker 1
I would really love one for people to join our More Love Facebook group. We’re almost at 100 people place, which is great. So let’s get over that. Burgess and the.
00;45;26;06 – 00;45;27;02
Speaker 3
Scrubbers on the.
00;45;27;02 – 00;45;27;13
Speaker 1
In the group.
00;45;27;20 – 00;45;28;02
Speaker 3
Okay.
00;45;28;04 – 00;45;41;29
Speaker 1
Oh yeah. Now in the in the group. I’d love for them to follow us on the Facebook group. And then what I would really love is for people to describe their thoughts on this. So this is just strictly based in bowls, balloons. And that’s.
00;45;42;07 – 00;45;42;19
Speaker 2
Described.
00;45;42;19 – 00;45;43;18
Speaker 1
Because I can’t I.
00;45;43;21 – 00;45;46;24
Speaker 2
Want a visual on a piece of paper and a picture taken.
00;45;46;25 – 00;46;05;14
Speaker 1
If no one has listened to a few people have listened to this episode, and then all of a sudden we flood the Facebook page with bows and balloons and that conversation. I think we will intrigue a whole bunch of people who will be like, what the hell are they doing? And what are they talking about? Then we can point them to the episode.
00;46;05;16 – 00;46;31;24
Speaker 1
That’s all right. So read us. Let me read you our affirmation because this one has nothing to do with what we were talking about. You know, to be fair, to be fair, let me just tell you this. Oh, no, no, I can’t see it. So to be fair, this was the original card that I picked. I know that it is important to work hard and play even harder.
00;46;31;24 – 00;46;37;28
Speaker 1
I am supposed to have fun. So that was my affirmation card that I originally picked.
00;46;38;00 – 00;46;38;28
Speaker 2
I like that one.
00;46;39;01 – 00;46;51;29
Speaker 1
I know that is important to work hard and play even harder. I’m supposed to have fun. Yeah, but let’s see if your hippie wild card at all relates to what we talked about today. You talked about a great white shark.
00;46;51;29 – 00;46;52;04
Speaker 2
And.
00;46;52;05 – 00;46;53;01
Speaker 1
Violent violence.
00;46;53;01 – 00;47;18;29
Speaker 2
So? So it’s right. Eight of swords and it’s restriction. Okay. And I have the big shark with eight swords. Okay. Eight means change. And this eight sees you on the brink of that change as you realize the way you’re being restricted by your circumstances at work, in a relationship or a project. The card often shows a relationship is on lockdown because one of you is not free to make a commitment.
00;47;18;29 – 00;47;40;01
Speaker 2
An additional meaning is being bound by too much responsibility. So the advice is to get practical and see that you are in control of your future, regardless of what others think. You can free yourself by being less tolerant of the demands of others. If that shit isn’t speaking to one person in this room, I don’t know what is.
00;47;40;03 – 00;47;46;22
Speaker 2
And it’s not me. You’re an idiot. What? I loved.
00;47;46;22 – 00;47;49;25
Speaker 1
That. Me too is an empathy. Amazing.
00;47;49;25 – 00;47;53;13
Speaker 2
Well we’re amazing. I don’t know about all that sympathy stuff.
00;47;53;20 – 00;48;09;10
Speaker 1
That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh, God, I love you. I love you too. And if you love us, please like and subscribe to more. Love the power of Empathy podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
00;48;09;17 – 00;48;21;22
Speaker 2
See you next time.