Episode 105 – What Do Lip Stain, Narrow Stairs, and Espresso Beans Have To Do With Empathy?

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Never a dull moment, Rebecca and Erin share the most ridiculous stories of their best friendship and show how empathy and vulnerability are alive and well in their everyday lives. What would you have done if you saw Rebecca walking around the store with her lip stain? Have you had an espresso bean moment? Who covered for you? Rebecca said it best, “The more vulnerable you can be with the people you trust and love, the more memories you can make… the deeper level of connection there always will be.”

0:00:10 – Speaker 1
Hey, it’s me, Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside, but the truth is she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes.
0:00:29 – Speaker 2
Hey Bestie.
0:00:30 – Speaker 1
Hi love, what are you doing? Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast About what Life? Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Oh, yay, I love us and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world, Especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right To be our most authentic selves.
0:00:51 – Speaker 2
Oh, man Okay.
0:00:58 – Speaker 1
We are not doing anything on this podcast until two things happen. First, what Number one? Scott the producer. Yeah, he got me my clock.
0:01:18 – Speaker 2
I know, I know.
0:01:20 – Speaker 1
He got me my rundown. What is it? It’s not a clock, my countdown timer. Oh look, my clock’s starting. Oh, there it goes. Okay, look it Like. Watch this, all right.
0:01:32 – Speaker 2
Read it, could you tell?
0:01:32 – Speaker 1
Yeah, I can Cause you’re like really Just looking up, look quick, quick, quick. So thank you for taking care of us. Scott, our producer.
0:01:41 – Speaker 2
Our high maintenance. He did also ask if the fan was okay.
0:01:45 – Speaker 1
Because I always demanded turns off.
0:01:47 – Speaker 2
Yes, I can’t get my butt and do it myself.
0:01:50 – Speaker 1
No, and you always just say oh, it’s cold in here, I brought a. Uh, oh, you have a little cover off. No, not my granny’s shawl, that I normally wear Not that, but this is my um you got yourself a flannel. You know what I should have brought, what? Oh no, no, this is a good thing the flight sweater.
0:02:09 – Speaker 2
Not the flight sweater, but the flight pillow.
0:02:12 – Speaker 1
Oh yeah, I nailed it with that pillow. Listen, this is our first endorsement.
0:02:16 – Speaker 2
My wife is flying today and she left her pillow on the plane.
0:02:19 – Speaker 1
No, Scott, stop it.
0:02:20 – Speaker 2
We just texted me that like five minutes ago.
0:02:24 – Speaker 1
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
0:02:25 – Speaker 2
We’re going to tell you how to change her life. I send, send them the.
0:02:29 – Speaker 1
I know this is it, Scott. I’m telling you, don’t let her listen to this show until you get this for her.
0:02:35 – Speaker 2
Let me find it, but I’m going to preface this by saying every single time I find something that’s incredible. I call you I know and I know it’s just like when you make me talk about my feelings and stuff and you force me on FaceTime. I force you on FaceTime for the cool things I find that you 100% judge and then right after you, rip me a new one and tell me how stupid it is. You’re like did you order me one? I know Every time.
0:02:59 – Speaker 1
I know I know this might have been one of those things, I know it is one of those things.
0:03:04 – Speaker 2
And then you’re like, let me pick the color I know, and then when I got it for you, I judged it more when you put it on.
0:03:11 – Speaker 1
I’m like that is ridiculous. You look ridiculous, I know. And then you wanted it, and then you took it off and you said, here, try this thing on.
0:03:18 – Speaker 2
And then I put it on and I’m like, oh, yeah, I need to have that, and so not only did I get it for you, I packaged it all up. Well, let’s be real, let’s preface this I booked us a red eye flight and didn’t tell you this is my way of breaking it to you.
I got you the amazing, awesome pillow. We’ll show a picture of it. Yes, I got you high end, really nice leggings. I got you an eye mask fuzzy. Yeah, hold on, I’m going to tell the story. Sorry, I got you fuzzy socks with grippies on it so when you put your feet on the seat they don’t fall off the seat. I got you an eye mask with earplugs. I got you melatonin.
0:03:59 – Speaker 1
I got you oils and probably a couple of other things. You did not get me a foot hammock.
0:04:04 – Speaker 2
You got yourself a foot hammock. I’ve had that foot hammock for a long time.
0:04:08 – Speaker 1
But then you proceeded to take the foot hammock out and say, oh, look what, I have here, a foot hammock. Where are your feet? Whereas mine are like dangling in the breeze.
0:04:16 – Speaker 2
You also made fun of me, probably for a good 15 minutes, until your drugs kicked in and you passed out, but I’m pretty sure there’s an email saying make sure you get me a foot hammock. Pretty sure, but anyway, back to the story. So I present all of this and even wrap it up the whole thing. We get to the airport in the morning and what? Do you not have Any of the items that I purchased for our red eye flight on the way home.
0:04:43 – Speaker 1
So no, I went to your house the night before to sleep on your couch and I woke up in a sweat at 2 30am. You should realizing that I left my package in my garage due to a sequence of events that happened before that.
0:05:00 – Speaker 2
0:05:00 – Speaker 1
I was fully prepared to get in the car immediately, drive 30 minutes back to my house, open up the garage door, scare the shit out of my family who have no clue. Why is Aaron here at this time? Grab the package and bring it back, for the sole purpose of not having to tell you that I forgot it. Yeah.
0:05:20 – Speaker 2
And when you told me you forgot it. What did I proceed to do? The?
0:05:23 – Speaker 1
whole day. You would take your neck pillow and you would wear it everywhere, everywhere. Wear it for lunch. You would wear it on the flight. You would wear it when you went to the bathroom. You would make sure that you were saying, oh my gosh, this pillow is so nice, and you would rub it in my face the whole time. You put on more oils in the waiting area just for the sheer fact of making sure that I knew that you were gonna.
0:05:51 – Speaker 2
And I did not let you touch anything.
0:05:52 – Speaker 1
No, you didn’t let me have any oil. You didn’t let me use your eye mask. You didn’t let me do any of it.
0:05:58 – Speaker 2
However, I did immediately look up the address of the hotel we were going to and I primed you a new package with all the overnight stuff.
0:06:08 – Speaker 1
I know, and that was nice.
0:06:10 – Speaker 2
And then convinced the hotel people not to charge us a delivery fee so that you could have your damn pillow.
0:06:15 – Speaker 1
And then I got it, I know and I love it, and now I have two and I was going to give one away and now I’m not, definitely not, because I use one at night, at bedtime, and I’m using my other one when I take flights.
0:06:27 – Speaker 2
So we will endorse this and we will show you a picture of it. This is our first endorsement. I know, I know we don’t get paid for this.
0:06:32 – Speaker 1
Are you ready, scott the producer. This is it. It’s called Hoosie Infinity Pillow, Home travel soft neck scarf, support sleep.
0:06:45 – Speaker 2
It is not your typical airline pillow Hoosie H-U-Z-I. It literally looks like an infinity scarf filled with down pillow feathers. It is the best ever.
0:06:56 – Speaker 1
I know it’s incredible. An infinity scarf. However, it comes in the cutest colors.
0:07:03 – Speaker 2
You can wrap it around your neck and around the seat so it holds your head up.
0:07:07 – Speaker 1
You can wrap it around your neck and then put your knee in it.
0:07:11 – Speaker 2
Which is what I do, so that your knee is up, but, scott, you need to buy one of these for your wife.
0:07:18 – Speaker 1
I’m going to tell you what color to get. Actually, I’m a big fan of the green, the hunter green. I also have the navy blue. Can’t go wrong with either of those. I have the lullab. It comes in a bunch of different colors. Now I’m going to be honest with you. This is a $45 neck pillow. It’s worth every freaking penny, but it is worth me having two of them and not giving one back. That’s how amazing this is. So there you go. Thank you for that. So the first thing We’ll wear them next episode.
0:07:48 – Speaker 2
Oh yeah, We’ll bring them up in the next episode.
0:07:51 – Speaker 1
The first thing is we now have our countdown clock, and my man, scott, put my countdown clock right over your head, so now all I have to do is quickly avert my eyes. I don’t have to do this. I can just quickly look up and know where we’re at in the episode. That’s right. That is the service you get it, rockbox, I know so. Thank you, Scott.
0:08:16 – Speaker 2
I’m sure other people appreciate it too.
0:08:18 – Speaker 1
I know I mean how many other people have seen that countdown clock? Scott? Anyone?
0:08:23 – Speaker 2
It’s a new. You know special feature here.
0:08:26 – Speaker 1
Yeah, so very few people have witnessed it, I mean tally it up once they start being like oh, you got a new clock, oh, that’s a good one.
0:08:34 – Speaker 2
I want a Google review about the clock you got it Done, it’s done.
0:08:38 – Speaker 1
Yeah, it’s all done. Yeah, it’ll be done before we leave the parking lot. I’m doing it right now. So that is number one. Is the countdown clock? Number two you’re not going to be happy about this one. Here we go again. I can’t, but this has to happen right now. What, scott? I’m going to need you to put the picture up. First one, the first one, please.
0:09:02 – Speaker 2
There’s multiple. Stop it. Oh my god, You’re bringing this to the public. It’s not OK. I can’t.
0:09:15 – Speaker 1
I don’t have any tissues. Stop it. Stop my eyes when I start crying. I cannot wait to tell everybody this story.
0:09:27 – Speaker 2
I can not. Oh my god People, oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re bringing this up.
0:09:33 – Speaker 1
I cannot wait. I need to start the stage. This is the funniest shit ever. It is next level. What this was last week. This was two weeks ago, ok. So, I got to set the stage. So I’m on the phone with Rebecca for probably the eighth time of the day and I say to her I’m going to my son’s end of the year school picnic. So I’ll call you in about an hour, but I’m going to do this thing.
0:10:11 – Speaker 2
But first, prior to that, when we were talking, you were like wait a minute. What do I hear in the background?
0:10:17 – Speaker 1
I’m like nothing. You hear nothing.
0:10:20 – Speaker 2
You’re like you’re not in your office. I’m like yes, I am.
0:10:23 – Speaker 1
And I said you’re absolutely not. I just heard the wheel of a cart. Where are you? And you said I don’t want to talk about it. And I said I don’t care if you want to talk about it. Where are you right now? And then it got completely silent.
0:10:35 – Speaker 2
0:10:35 – Speaker 1
I said are you at Hobby Lobby? And you said yes.
0:10:40 – Speaker 2
I am, but I’m not telling you what I’m getting.
0:10:43 – Speaker 1
We’re not going to talk about it. We’re not going to talk about it.
0:10:45 – Speaker 2
This is my therapy mode and I am in a bad place and so I’m taking it out on Hobby. Lobby, hobby Lobby and I fully thought you were going to. I didn’t know you were going to your son’s thing. I fully thought you were going to say I canceled all my meetings.
0:10:59 – Speaker 1
I’ll meet you there, stay put, because I usually do that, and most of the time I say how long are you going to be in Hobby Lobby? And you’re like, oh, at least another hour, and then I just show up, exactly. Which if that had happened on this day I would have wet my pants.
0:11:12 – Speaker 2
I know, I know and that’s why, in hindsight, I really wish you had showed up.
0:11:17 – Speaker 1
Have been OK. I know so set in the stage on the phone.
0:11:22 – Speaker 2
You’re in Hobby Lobby, push in the car Going through the floral section, or just chit chatting, like you’re just filling me in or whatever, and I’m like, ok, well, since you’re going to your son’s thing, we’ll talk later. Right, we hang up the phone.
0:11:32 – Speaker 1
I’ll call you in an hour. After I get done, I get out of the car, I start walking toward my son’s picnic area and I get a phone call from Rebecca and I silence it Because I this and let me just preface this. So, rebecca, if she doesn’t hear from you, if you do not answer the phone on the first time, she calls.
0:11:57 – Speaker 2
No joke, she’s calling you another 45 times until you pick up, because it’s important enough that I’m calling, which means you have to be available, right now we’re talking call ring voicemail.
0:12:11 – Speaker 1
Right Call ring voicemail.
0:12:13 – Speaker 2
I don’t leave the voicemail, I just keep calling.
0:12:16 – Speaker 1
Stop. Yes, now I know this about her. I also, out of 100 times that I have answered one of the phone calls and thought to myself this is probably the one that’s really serious. 100 out of 100% of the times, it has never been an emergency.
0:12:33 – Speaker 2
OK, well, one time One. Maybe one. No, there was one, not one.
0:12:38 – Speaker 1
But beyond that One, outside of that, she calls again a second time, again. Not surprising to me, this is what happens, and I again send it to voicemail.
0:12:51 – Speaker 2
Now you regret every second of it.
0:12:54 – Speaker 1
No, because I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it at that time other than laugh. It’s so hard at my son’s picnic that people would have thought I needed to be in some place. Be institutionalized yes, I know, put somewhere. So I get done with the picnic and I come out. Now you come home.
0:13:13 – Speaker 2
Did I? I drove home, yes, because then we faced it. You were like jump on Zoom.
0:13:17 – Speaker 1
0:13:18 – Speaker 2
I look at my text message.
0:13:20 – Speaker 1
Oh, because, I sent a picture. I say it says I am not OK. That’s the first message. The next message is a thing of lipstick and the no smoking sign and then the next thing is that picture.
0:13:39 – Speaker 2
Yeah of me.
0:13:41 – Speaker 1
That picture that Scott is showing is the third thing I see. I immediately call you. I know and here’s where we go, so tell them.
0:13:55 – Speaker 2
There’s a little bit more of a backstory. I look homeless. How often? 95% of the time.
0:14:03 – Speaker 1
In public.
0:14:04 – Speaker 2
Like going on planes shopping. It is that standard. So if you see me at home, it’s like train wreck. So it’s not a surprise that my hair looks like that I’m wearing the glasses. Not of that is a surprise. Oh no, all of that is completely standard.
0:14:24 – Speaker 1
That’s the normal. In fact, there’s ripped sweatshirt that isn’t supposed to be ripped, but it is because yours is. You’re in some Walmart sweatpants that are tight at the bottom.
0:14:35 – Speaker 2
And it’s always wear your heels Right Without fail. Someone comes up and says a compliment to me, usually Every time which pisses you off more than anything, and it’s always the stupidest thing.
0:14:48 – Speaker 1
It’s like, oh my God, those are the best flip flops, or just standard black flip flops, exactly.
0:14:52 – Speaker 2
So that’s why this is even funnier, because of the situation, because you looked like that.
0:14:57 – Speaker 1
I always look like this. This is very normal.
0:14:59 – Speaker 2
So this took it to the next level. So, backstory again Having a bad day, decide not going to sit in this office anymore. It’s stressing me out. So I’m going to run to the dollar store and I had to pick up a couple of things and I remembered in that moment that I my chapstick, my car chapstick, because I got my purse chapstick, my car chap. I got it all. My car chapstick had melted and it wasn’t working anymore. I’m like, oh, I gotta get another one. And so when I was walking down the aisle in the dollar store, I saw lip oil and I’m like, yes, because I love my oils, right, yep? So I get this lip oil and I’m like super pumped about it. And it’s clear. I’m like this is great.
So I buy my dollar store stuff and I put my bags into the trunk. I then get in the front of my car and I drive you put the lip oil on at this point. No, I drive to Henrietta. Now I’m in Gates, where I live, and I drive to Henrietta and I’m, like you know, decided what I’m going to do. And I decide this is the part I didn’t. I don’t know if I still haven’t told you it’s probably makes it worse. I decide that we all know I’m broke right, but just right, You’ve got no money, but I always gotta pay a bill.
But this is my retail therapy and I also am obsessed with gardening and for the past couple of years I have window boxes and my window boxes die because my house is on a like a angle and so some of them get sun and some of them don’t. But I cannot have different kinds of flowers in the different boxes, so every year I screw it up and I don’t water them the whole nine. So this year I did research on how to make fake plants look real.
0:16:49 – Speaker 1
And number one See, I didn’t tell you this. See, now you’re one, because if you judge mental health, I’m going to get some fake flowers for my flower pots outside.
0:16:58 – Speaker 2
I would be like we’re not, though. That’s why I didn’t tell you where I was Right Still got busted. But well, because I just cleared it yeah, cleared my conscious. I did all this research and I had to get like UV spray paint, so it doesn’t fade, like all the things. And Hobby Lobby has the most nicest realist looking fake flowers, and it was 40% off.
0:17:20 – Speaker 1
Got the coupon.
0:17:22 – Speaker 2
So I’m at the Hobby Lobby or I’m pulling into the Hobby Lobby and I remember, oh, my lips are dry, I need to get a lip oil.
0:17:29 – Speaker 1
It’s in the trunk.
0:17:30 – Speaker 2
So, I get out and I’m wearing, I guess, at the stage of what I’m wearing, I’m wearing my five inch platform cracks that you hate, the hot pink, the hot pink, five inch platform cracks. I am wearing my daughter’s looks kind of like a tennis skirt, but with shorts. And but the shorts, like you know what you know, like bike shorts, they’re hanging out underneath the skirt. Good, yeah, with the hot pink cracks, good. And then I think I’m wearing a dirty sweatshirt. I’m not a hundred percent sure.
And what’s your hair looking like? I just got out of bed, yeah, and I have extensions that are taped in. So, yeah, pretty much. So you can see in the picture it’s not good. And then I’m wearing my oversized glasses, cause they’re the only ones I could find in that moment. How many pairs of glasses do I have? Oh, my gosh, 48. So I grabbed whatever was available and these ones are a little loose and a little cause I fall asleep and then they go me. So, anyway, that’s what I’m wearing, and I have to wear the glasses in the store because I can’t see far away, right? So I take the lip oil on the way into the store and I unpackage it from the packaging and I put it all over my lips.
0:18:44 – Speaker 1
Like get it right on. And why is it all over?
0:18:46 – Speaker 2
Because Because it’s lip oil and my lips are dry. Yeah, and it’s clear. It’s clear lip oil, but Lip oil.
0:18:54 – Speaker 1
But not just our lips are chapped. I mean the upper part, the side part, the under part, it’s all chapped. We just gotta get that all on there. Yes, that’s how I do chaps You’re walking into as I’m walking into Hobby Lobby?
0:19:08 – Speaker 2
Yes, and I’m also wearing a backpack purse, yep, yep, and I might have been wearing a fanny pack. Go ahead, there’s a 50% chance I was wearing a fanny pack because I gotta have my multiple sources of income, right, I gotta divide it up, right, right. So I’m in the Hobby Labs and I’m not on the phone with you and I’m going through a normal routine, right, and I’m looking through all the things and you know, let’s keep in mind how I shop. I do not engage with people. I mean the whole nine.
0:19:38 – Speaker 1
Right, in fact, you are annoyed. You don’t wanna talk to anyone. No, you’re not making eye contact. No, yeah, and it’s not uncommon for people to look at you, for people to like give you the once over, right, right.
0:19:49 – Speaker 2
Yeah, right, but I have no idea what’s on my face. I think it’s clear lip oil.
0:19:54 – Speaker 1
At this point. So do the listeners. I think it’s completely clear lip oil, Clear lip oil.
0:19:59 – Speaker 2
So I was in there a good hour. I mean, I went into every freaking aisle. I was like in it. You call me when I’m knee deep in my flowers. Stop with the crying. I can’t. You call me when I’m knee deep in the flowers. So now I’m caught because you’re gonna be judgy A that I’m spending money that I shouldn’t be spending and, b I’m buying fake silk flowers. And so you discover that I’m in Hobby Lobby and I’m like, oh God, I’m thinking you’re gonna bust me because of the fake flowers and be really mad, not even knowing what my face looks like. Oh, absolutely Not one person said anything to me. So you, I’m like, are you gonna come and meet me? And you’re like, no, I gotta go to this thing. I’m like, whatever. So I decide I’m gonna leave. So I get my stuff, I go over to the counter, to where you pay, and I’m like talking to the lady. I’m like, oh, I’m so excited about my project and I’m like telling her about it, which I never do, but I’m a dreamy.
0:20:52 – Speaker 1
I’m going to take one out of my playbook.
0:20:54 – Speaker 2
Yeah, but I’m really watching her to make sure she puts the coupe on it.
0:20:57 – Speaker 1
I’m making sure she does the 40% off. Right, right, it. Is she saying anything to you? She’s just smiling.
0:21:03 – Speaker 2
She’s like this is nice.
0:21:05 – Speaker 1
Yeah, and I don’t care. No one person has said anything to you at this point.
0:21:09 – Speaker 2
And I don’t care that she’s not engaging with me, because I don’t really want to talk to her. Every time he puts that thing up, it gets me. I know. So at this point I still don’t know. So I’m packing up my cart, whatever. Whatever I get to the car, I put everything in the trunk, whatever I get into the car and I go to adjust my rear view mirror. And I must have hit it a little too hard to catch my lips and I thought it was a freaking lie.
0:21:40 – Speaker 1
I didn’t even recognize myself and that’s why I immediately called you, because I was going to be like these were the now the two phone calls that she had made that were the emergency Right, but I was the highest.
0:21:53 – Speaker 2
I need to tell you. I need you to see what the F? Just one hour I walked around that store Not one person. And then here’s the worst part it’s not lip oil, it’s lip stain. I can’t get it off. I can’t get it off. I had to go home and put like makeup over. It was not OK, oh my God. So I checked this, but you’re not answering, and so I had to take a picture to show you that it’s an emergency, and then I sent it. That’s a picture.
0:22:28 – Speaker 1
So you had sent me that picture and then I called you and of course I made you go right on FaceTime and you said it is not OK. I said look at me, I know.
0:22:38 – Speaker 2
You could see the outline.
0:22:39 – Speaker 1
But you did not just walk all around Hobby Lobby with your face looking like that and you said I did, I know. I said no, no one said anything to you. You said not one person. I said did you check out? And you said, yep, that woman treated me just like I was some normal Nelly over there checking out. I know, and if you had not taken down the rear view mirror, I would have gone to other places.
0:23:06 – Speaker 2
You would have gone to.
0:23:07 – Speaker 1
Christmas tree shops.
0:23:08 – Speaker 2
You would have gone to all the things. I would have gone to Plato’s closet, I would have done all the things I know and no one would have said anything I know I know. Now, eventually I would have had to go to the bathroom because you know I have to go every freaking five minutes. But if I saw myself in public like that when you saw yourself in that moment.
0:23:24 – Speaker 1
I need to know.
0:23:26 – Speaker 2
When you saw yourself was a lie. I love that.
0:23:29 – Speaker 1
But what was going through your mind?
0:23:31 – Speaker 2
I was like I just walked through the store, I had to talk to you and I had to process it. I’m like I can’t believe this.
0:23:38 – Speaker 1
Now one person. Now then.
0:23:39 – Speaker 2
I thought what if somebody did say something to me? I don’t know if I would have felt better or worse. I’m not sure.
0:23:48 – Speaker 1
Here’s my favorite part. So last episode, also known as session that we had yeah, last session. We were talking about how I am empathy with vulnerability and how you are empathy without vulnerability, and the difference is that I’m the one when I see someone like that walking around Hobby Lobby.
0:24:14 – Speaker 2
Yep, this is our target story right all over again.
0:24:17 – Speaker 1
Two, if I did not know you and I saw you, I would have done the, the double take, oh no. And I would have walked up to you and I would have said you don’t know me and I don’t know you. And if this is for real, if this was intended, that this was supposed to be this way, I’m gonna really apologize to you. But what I need you to know right now is that your lipstick is all over your face. When I say all over, I mean like we are talking clowns, okay. And in that moment you would have said to me oh my God, thank you, I cannot. No one else has told me. Thank you so much. You would have been so appreciative for that right?
0:25:03 – Speaker 2
I don’t know that I think I would have died, but at least someone told you I know Right, I know you.
0:25:10 – Speaker 1
On the other hand, that is an example of empathy and vulnerability. I would not.
0:25:15 – Speaker 2
I gotta talk about it, I would have called you and made fun of that.
0:25:17 – Speaker 1
I gotta make sure that this person was okay. Then there’s you Empathy without vulnerability, yes, and you’re thinking to yourself oh no, I know, that is uncomfortable, I know, let me get a picture. So I can send it to Sharon Someone here probably tells someone that that woman has her lipstick all over. You would never have said a thing, never. But then you are on the receiving end. I know Of a whole bunch of people with empathy without vulnerability. Yep, the whole.
0:25:45 – Speaker 2
The whole hobby lobby. Every single person With empathy, without vulnerability and look what happened.
0:25:50 – Speaker 1
You walked around the whole store like that.
0:25:52 – Speaker 2
But I think that proves, continues to prove, our point that you have a superpower. No one, normal people, are not going to approach someone who looks like they might have just smoked crack. I mean, there was a hundred percent chance. That’s what I look like based on my outfit. It’s not like I’m like this put together professional person who just had lipstick askew Right. Those are two very different scenarios.
0:26:19 – Speaker 1
That’s a good point. I didn’t think about that, but you’re absolutely right. I mean, look at that, look at your hair, look at your glasses.
0:26:26 – Speaker 2
That’s even a close up.
0:26:27 – Speaker 1
There was a further back picture, I mean the exact picture that you sent to me, a hundred percent Anyone know my favorite part about it Mm-hmm, you’re not smiling. No, you’re not like. Oh, hee, hee, hee, tee, dee, hee. This is funny. Like you are, I just need to make sure you see what my face looks like right now, and that’s what had me. I was rolling.
0:26:46 – Speaker 2
Dying. I know, I know I even showed one of my other coworkers and then she threatened to use that as my bio picture on our website.
0:26:53 – Speaker 1
I’ve changed your picture in my phone to that picture. I can’t. Every time you call me, I can’t, and I’m in the car, mm-hmm.
0:27:00 – Speaker 2
This huge picture of you with that Talk about, talk about all around you.
0:27:03 – Speaker 1
Just you’re exploiting You’re exploiting the fact that I became vulnerable with you Only because You’re exploiting it, and now you’re sharing it. I know, because I need other people to know the moral of this story, which is empathy and vulnerability is where we should be. Seriously, what I cried to a point of like my stomach was cramping, I know, when I found out that you walked around the store like that.
0:27:28 – Speaker 2
And it and it and it lives on, like I told some of my soccer mom friends, and to this day they’ll send me a picture and be like I can’t get over this Yep.
0:27:35 – Speaker 1
And I’m like I need this.
0:27:37 – Speaker 2
And sometimes in the morning, just to you know, ramp people up who know the story. I’ll send a picture and say when you’re feeling bad about yourself yeah, and you were at your lowest low. Just remember, you’ll never be like this girl. And then I said my picture you didn’t walk like this around the store.
0:27:50 – Speaker 1
Yeah, so those are the two things we had to do today. We had to initially talk about the clock, and then we had to tell that story and how absolutely perfection it was that it happened after. We talked about vulnerability and empathy.
0:28:09 – Speaker 2
But I also think, like you have to be able to laugh at yourself a little bit in order to be vulnerable. You have to. That’s a way of connecting with people, right? That’s a way of really truly being like. You know the empathy and the communication and you know all the things.
And you have to have some level of. It’s not about self-confidence, it’s not about that. I’m just. It’s very easy for me to laugh at myself Very easy. That’s part of what makes us so funny is you just say the most rude things to me, especially in public, and I just die.
0:28:46 – Speaker 1
I know you never take it personally, never, I am a crack.
0:28:50 – Speaker 2
I know I am cracking up you just all the time. One of the best examples is we’re in New Orleans last year on the 16th floor, and we go over to the elevator and the maintenance man says ladies, you can’t go down the elevator because it’s out of order right now. You can take the stairs, but beware, they’re really narrow. And I thought to myself that’s a weird thing to say. So we walk around the corner and I turn to you and I say Aaron, why didn’t he mention that those stairs are narrow?
0:29:21 – Speaker 1
And without hesitating, you said Because he saw the size of your ass.
0:29:27 – Speaker 2
And I Wow I almost pissed my pants laughing so hard.
0:29:34 – Speaker 1
I’m like that is hilarious and probably true.
0:29:40 – Speaker 2
Oh my God dying.
0:29:42 – Speaker 1
0:29:42 – Speaker 2
That’s hilarious all the time I know, without hesitation, you say the most mean things. It is so funny.
0:29:49 – Speaker 1
Now, is that a segue into empathy, into the release of empathy, into when empathy goes bad or when you’re so chuck full of empathy? And you just cannot manage it anymore.
0:30:04 – Speaker 2
But you’re not empathetic to me. I have one other story. One other story. That way we also have a picture and a video of she. We’re also in another conference and she decides she needs to get a massage. Now we all know I’m poor, so I can’t.
So we go to this high flutin’, fancy, fancy spa hotel $2,500 a night. Yes, I looked it up, remember, and it is beautiful. And I’m like I brought my bag of work and I dropped her off at the spa and you’re not allowed to go in unless you have an appointment. So I say to her well, I guess I’m gonna sit in the lobby, which was totally fine because it was beautiful. So, and we’re in Florida, so I gotta paint the picture again.
I am professional because we are working a booth. Yes, we are working our booth. Yes, we’re wearing a long white linen skirt and a shirt and I drop her off at the spa and she’s gonna have the best time. I go and I decide I’m gonna scout out the lobby area and I’m gonna find the best place that I can do some work, cause you’re gonna be gone probably an hour, hour and a half. So I find this beautiful place and I get all comfortable in the chair and I decide after that I’m not doing work, I’m an online shop. So I take out my phone and I’m online shop and lounging on this couch and I remember that I have this trail mix stuff and so I’m sitting there online shop and eating like a fat bastard one by one, my trail mix Eating your trail mix.
0:31:40 – Speaker 1
Now we’re not talking any trail mix.
0:31:42 – Speaker 2
No, it was like an espresso bean, and Chocolate covered raisins. Yeah like this really nice, it was like a high end.
0:31:50 – Speaker 1
It was like chocolate with fruit, fruit and nuts and it was really nice.
0:31:56 – Speaker 2
And so and I don’t eat chocolate, so I’m, you know, I’m picking around and picking out the nuts and all this stuff she calls me and says, okay, I’m done, where are you? And I say I’ll just. I found my own location, so I’ll just meet you over where we walked in. So I go to stand up and I turn around. So she’s on her way. I go to stand up, I turn around, you’re fine in the picture. I’m trying to find the picture.
I turn around and I happen to glance down and I notice what looks like a gigantic turd on the couch. And I think to myself did I shit my pants or did I get my period? What is happening? All I know is I cannot walk away from this couch. So I start calling her Once again. She doesn’t answer and I nonstop call, call, call, call, because I know she has her phone on silent and I figure well, she’ll go to the meeting point and can’t find me and finally look down at her phone. She finally looks down at her phone and calls me back. Now, at this point in time, the location that I’m at is where the maintenance people are starting to set up for a wedding, so I can’t just walk out casually, because there are people coming in and out with tables and glassware and stuff, so like, if I shit my pants, I’m wearing a white linen skirt.
And we are next level. I don’t know what to do. So you finally answer the phone and you’re like what is the matter? I’m like I cannot talk about it on this phone call. You need to come here right now.
0:33:33 – Speaker 1
So I guide her to me and I say to you what happened and you said I can’t talk about it right now. You need to come here, turn left, walk down the hall. I am down here and I’m like stand up. And you’re like I cannot, I’m like what?
0:33:45 – Speaker 2
And you’re like what do you mean? So we get off the phone and you see me and you see my face, and without hesitation this is where I am exempt from anything your empathy is Without hesitation. You’re like, before you start talking, you take out your phone and you videotape me Explaining what happened?
0:34:07 – Speaker 1
I said I need to get this on video and you’re like, no, you do not. And I said I do?
0:34:12 – Speaker 2
I didn’t even tell you what it was, yet.
0:34:13 – Speaker 1
I don’t even know what about you’re about to tell me. So then, no wait, I need to set this part.
0:34:19 – Speaker 2
So you’re sitting here like this, you’re sitting over here on the side Right Cause I still haven’t showed you yet, because I don’t know what to say or knew this is your eyes. I know.
0:34:28 – Speaker 1
I know, I know and I’m like what is going on and you said it’s not good and I said I’m aware what I said, we will fix it. What is happening? You then lean to the side and you take your skirt and you push it back and there it is. It looks we’re not sure. I absolutely looks like a cat turd on this white couch. It 100% looks like a cat One cat turd on the couch, but it’s like smeared a little Do it. Ah, oh, my God, and I’m like, what is that?
0:35:13 – Speaker 2
And I found my sweater and I’m like I gotta put this on.
0:35:16 – Speaker 1
You said I don’t know, I don’t know what this is. I said look at me, look at me. Did you shit your pants? And you said no, I don’t think so. No, I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t shit my pants, I said. I said I don’t know what this is, what is that? And you are balling, you are laughing so hard.
0:35:33 – Speaker 2
I finally realized because I realized what it was, as you were coming over, that I had. No, I didn’t realize.
0:35:39 – Speaker 1
No, you want to know when you realized it. When, when, when, you said, when I said to you what is that? And through your laughter, you said Is it a espresso bean? That’s right, it’s an espresso bean, that’s right. And I said how do you know?
0:35:53 – Speaker 2
when you said I smelled it, you said I smelled, that’s right and I’m like what, if it wasn’t that I know, then I would know I know. And it came to me because I realized I don’t like chocolate and I was digging around. Remember, I was not looking, I was digging around and it must have spelled out you dropped a Nespresso being under, your under my buttons and then it got hot and melt there. Yeah, cuz you know.
0:36:21 – Speaker 1
It’s an arrow.
0:36:24 – Speaker 2
And now there’s in the lobby, there’s a picture of this. One says do not let her, so I am wearing professional clothes in this scenario.
0:36:34 – Speaker 1
and then I, and then I say to you Okay, I Got these wipes, they were my favorite way all from makeup wipes from from the spa, the spa Because they’re my favorite one and I said I’m gonna give you one of these, but I’m really upset that you need to use it for this espresso bean. Now, at this time, people are walking by Setting up the wedding. One man drop the cart. You can hear in the video. We have to post the video on the website. We will put the video in there. The video is hilarious. But all of a sudden you hear do, do, do, do, do, like all over the place because the span drops all the things, cuz he’s probably listening to us. So you turn around and you are like taking the wipe. In the video you can see you taking the wipe in its smearing on this expensive this white couch $2500 a night, white couch, espresso bean cat turd.
It is Incredible. So you are smearing, smearing. I’m saying to you you know what was that? How did that happen? I’m like someone’s coming, someone’s coming like you had to, whatever it was, mm-hmm on, real mm-hmm, I know. And then I think I said I got a banana. Do you want a banana?
0:37:59 – Speaker 2
Yeah, I think you gave me, I think you gave some fruit, and all I kept thinking is what are we gonna do?
0:38:06 – Speaker 1
like you do not have any Wipes now.
0:38:10 – Speaker 2
You couldn’t have gotten up to get any wipes, no, you would have had to go to the pool and pretend you were a resident I know, which didn’t go well the first time we tried to do that, because they are, this is a high-end place, right and so you would have had to pretend, and then you would have stole a Towel that I would have had to wrap around no, because I’m empathy and vulnerability.
0:38:30 – Speaker 1
I would have gone back to that woman who told us we couldn’t go to the pool and I would have said, cindy, and her name was Cindy, cindy, mm-hmm, listen to me, mm-hmm, I’m gonna need a towel, right? I don’t need you to ask me any questions about this towel. I promise you you’ll get this towel back. This towel probably cost 75 dollars. I’m not taking it with me, right? But we have an emergency right now that I need, I need to go take care of, and if she wouldn’t let me do it, I would have been like, looks like you’re coming with me, cindy, again.
0:38:56 – Speaker 2
That’s just just looks like you’re coming with me that I’m even more of a bad case.
0:39:00 – Speaker 1
Just took me for my word, the first time I’m gonna bring you over the other option was to go into the gift shop Yep and spend. I know, we know we’re gonna so much money. I know we couldn’t just left it there. I know I know we will post. We have to post the video on the more love podcast calm.
0:39:17 – Speaker 2
Those are just two very small examples Things that happen on the reg now here’s where I would like to say I did have empathy.
0:39:25 – Speaker 1
I said to you many times doesn’t matter what it is, we’re gonna fix it right, we’re gonna take care of it. It doesn’t matter, it’s okay, you did had to make sure we were reassured, right.
0:39:34 – Speaker 2
But at the same time, you were also very clear that it was gonna be hilarious.
0:39:38 – Speaker 1
Needed to video record the entire thing that is probably one of my top four favorite videos that we have, so I’m glad that we got it agreed right. There’s your example of having to laugh at yourself, have to what, what else am I gonna do?
0:39:50 – Speaker 2
cry? Am I gonna cry? Never go in public again. Am I going to Be so afraid to share moments with? I mean, what if I legit pooped my pants?
0:39:59 – Speaker 1
Who was I gonna talk to about it?
0:40:00 – Speaker 2
and I would have to have enough.
0:40:02 – Speaker 1
I would have said, we’ll figure that out Right. I don’t know, do you have your black sweater? Let me go get one, it’s fine.
0:40:07 – Speaker 2
But what if I was with somebody else? What if I was by myself?
0:40:11 – Speaker 1
What, what, what I’ve done you would have covered it with a pillow and got up and walked away. I would have yeah, what else?
0:40:18 – Speaker 2
would you have done? I don’t know. I think you would exposed, I don’t I.
0:40:22 – Speaker 1
Don’t the fact that you smelled.
0:40:23 – Speaker 2
it was my level, I know the lesson here is the more vulnerable you can be with the people that you trust and love, the more memories you can make, the more mistakes you can make, the more real and honest you can be and the more deeper level of connection there always will be. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what life is about. It’s not about competing, it’s not about One-upping, it’s not about being better. It’s about the love and support and and laughing about it for years to come. Yeah, honest to God, I love that and I I hope everybody can experience that at some point in their life, because I know there’s a lot of buttoned-up people out there who are too afraid and then you just will never experience that level of connection ever.
0:41:14 – Speaker 1
Too afraid or have never been given an opportunity to feel safe enough. Right, Right, right right, because there is a level of safety that has to, yes, be felt in order to let Someone in to that level. Craziest moment that level of your life, mm-hmm. And I will forever be thankful that when you walk around Javi-Lavi with your lips looking like that with the lip oil, that the very first thing you think to do when you recognize it is immediately Call me on the phone. Oh, there is, there is no doubt in my mind.
0:41:48 – Speaker 2
I feel honored. I’m so glad.
0:41:50 – Speaker 1
Thank you so glad. Thank you. I Love that me too is an empathy amazing.
0:41:57 – Speaker 2
Well, we’re amazing. I don’t know about all this empathy stuff.
0:42:01 – Speaker 1
That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh god, I love you. I love you too, and if you love us, please like and subscribe to more love the power of empathy podcast wherever you get your podcast. See you next time.

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