Episode 201 – “How am I Showing you Love?” – Can Everyone Have This Type of Relationship?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-bMdka7ENc
The start of Season 2! The girls said a welcomed goodbye to 2023 on their live show December 29th and are fully embracing the freshness of a new year. Paris Hilton’s new book sets the stage for a conversation about fitting in, neurodivergence, and acceptance, then leads to a deeper conversation about healthier arguments, trust, honest communication, and… keyboard typing on FB Marketplace.

0:00:09 – Speaker 1
Hey, it’s me, Erin. Thanks for joining us on the More Love podcast. Do not tell Rebecca, but this podcast is about empathy. She likes people to think she’s dead inside, but the truth is she’s a big time feeler who has truly helped me uncover that empathy is my superpower. Here she comes.
0:00:28 – Speaker 2
Hey, Bestie, Hi love.
0:00:30 – Speaker 1
What are you doing? Oh, just getting ready to host a podcast. A podcast About what Life? Our life as best friends who are more like sisters. Yay, I love us and I can’t wait to share our stories with the world, Especially the ones that involve us pushing each other right To be our most authentic selves.
0:00:50 – Speaker 2
Oh man, okay, that was loud, I can’t stop laughing.
0:01:01 – Speaker 1
I can’t stop laughing because all I hear is Scott, go, somebody fart. And then I was also thinking about that time. We were in the hotel room and you say Philip at work plays this new game. I said what is it? And you said it’s called Guest of Fart. And I said what does that mean? And you say you got to tell me before you have to fart. And then when you do, I’m going to mimic what I think it’s going to sound like and then you will fart and we’ll see if it was accurate.
0:01:43 – Speaker 3
That’s what people used to do before television and radio and stuff. That’s how they used to occupy their time.
0:01:49 – Speaker 2
But do other grown 40-year-old women do it?
0:01:53 – Speaker 3
Not to my knowledge.
0:01:54 – Speaker 2
I don’t know, but I like you guys to weigh in Guest of Fart.
0:02:06 – Speaker 1
Did someone just fart.
0:02:09 – Speaker 2
See, now, that’s a different kind of sound of fart.
0:02:11 – Speaker 1
That’s right, I’m not sure that was a fart.
0:02:13 – Speaker 2
That sounded like a shirt.
0:02:14 – Speaker 3
It’s actually if you look at the button, it says fart wet.
0:02:20 – Speaker 2
That’s when we say, when you’re running into first in your feelings of the first time.
0:02:28 – Speaker 1
We’re really bringing in 2024 the right way, folks.
0:02:31 – Speaker 3
Oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, so I’m in a new year’s resolution. I want to push every one of these buttons throughout the whole year.
0:02:38 – Speaker 1
You know why? That’s funny, scott. I thought to myself we need more buttons. It’s angry. We need more buttons.
0:02:45 – Speaker 3
Did you see the studio cat that we have now? It’s nasty, it’s a nasty little bit. He is nasty, you can play that one for Rebecca, quite often actually. I was saving that for whenever you guys get in a fight, but you never do.
0:03:00 – Speaker 1
Oh no, but she does get lullaby Sometimes, so you could definitely use that, but I was thinking we need some more buttons because we have, you know, our infamous turn it off.
0:03:15 – Speaker 3
Well, press, it Isn’t there oh?
0:03:18 – Speaker 2
no, it’s missing. Where is it? Well, he redid it.
0:03:22 – Speaker 3
No, no, no, I’ll help you with that it says run scene, run scene, run scene, run scene. That’s what it says over here. I don’t even know what that means I don’t know either.
0:03:31 – Speaker 1
Run scene, run scene, run scene.
0:03:33 – Speaker 3
Here we go.
0:03:34 – Speaker 1
Oh, here we go.
0:03:35 – Speaker 3
Turn it on like a light switch.
0:03:38 – Speaker 2
Speaking of, I fully expect you to purchase us tickets to go see that. I know you do, I know I said to the link at least 13 times, I know I know, yeah, oh, look what’s coming.
0:03:47 – Speaker 3
I saw it three times, I think.
0:03:48 – Speaker 1
You’ve seen it? Oh, it’s so good. I’ll never forget, I’ll never forget.
0:03:52 – Speaker 2
I begged her. Can we please, when we’re in New York City, can we please see the Book of Mormon? And she has no idea what it is right, and so I didn’t either. I just knew that it’s something we should see. And so she’s like sure, book us tickets. And I say, well, I have a budget. And so I went online to these like cheap seats or something. I ended up getting second row, but I didn’t tell her and we don’t know what the show is and it’s my wedding anniversary. So I make her be the man and take me out on the town in New York City on my wedding anniversary and we go to this musical, we walk in and you know, theaters in New York City are small to begin with, and we’re going closer to the front, closer to the front, and she’s like what’s happening?
And I’m like we’re on stage, we sit in the two seats and we’re like slouched down because we are seeing it all. Yeah, we’re seeing it all. And then, all of a sudden, the musical starts and our mouths were just hanging open. The whole time, the whole time.
0:04:50 – Speaker 3
You’re so close you could see. You can actually see the maggots in a scrotum.
0:04:54 – Speaker 2
Oh, we saw everything. We go what. Don’t you remember? What was the guy’s name? What was it? It was the oh my gosh.
0:05:03 – Speaker 3
I just remember. Throughout the musical he says and I have maggots in my scrotum.
0:05:07 – Speaker 2
Yes, he does. Yes. Remember the one scene when they were dancing which one? When they were all dancing at the end with the long.
0:05:17 – Speaker 1
Oh my gosh, I cannot.
0:05:19 – Speaker 3
And if you’re just joining us on the More Love podcast, if you go back to one of the early episodes, I think we go into detail about this whole escapade.
0:05:27 – Speaker 2
I think we do. Who’s just joining us?
0:05:28 – Speaker 3
I mean, hopefully we got some newbies, everybody, every day, every day there’s new people. I know Just figuring out the joy that is more love.
0:05:38 – Speaker 1
That’s right, it is true, it is true it is true, you know what? Start with 2024. I don’t have to go back to 2023. Just pick up right here, I mean, yeah, it’s fine. Yeah, it’s one of those things that you’re. It’s like a binge because we’re doing some things different in 2024. Like, what One? We’re sticking to 50 minutes. Oh, that’s our.
0:05:56 – Speaker 2
we peak at 50 minutes, okay All right, we’ll see how good you are at that. We peak at 50 minutes.
0:06:01 – Speaker 1
I forgot to start the clock, scott did it for me, it’s fine.
0:06:04 – Speaker 2
Well, we haven’t even got to the heavy voodoo shit that takes 30. I know, so let’s move.
0:06:08 – Speaker 1
But listen, one thing I was going to say is do you remember in 2023, how we had a song for 2023? Let’s sing it 2023. And that turned out to be an absolute shit show, right, okay, in fact.
0:06:22 – Speaker 2
I remember in January, when we were when we were really excited about it I was going to have custom 2023 necklaces made. Yeah, Good thing I did it. I don’t we burn that, Burn it.
0:06:32 – Speaker 1
But we need a song for 2024. I don’t know if we should. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s a rap. I don’t know what it is.
0:06:40 – Speaker 2
I feel like we should at least wait till June.
0:06:42 – Speaker 1
Okay, wow, that’s a long time. Just to see if we’re still in the clear. Yeah, cause I feel like it might be bad juju.
0:06:47 – Speaker 3
It is a bad omen.
0:06:48 – Speaker 1
Yeah, okay, all right. So anyway, we’re not gonna. We’re bringing in 2024, doing some things differently. We do have something very exciting from more love that we are bringing in to 2024. And we’re not going to drop it yet. I love that you’re faced right now is we are. What are we doing, scott? How much have we talked about this? Oh, that, I can’t. I can’t. I swear to God. Scott, thanks for being here today. It’s Scott and I on the show. You mean all those emails we talked about. I can’t.
0:07:23 – Speaker 2
Many emails.
0:07:25 – Speaker 1
I know. Next message I know.
0:07:27 – Speaker 3
I like the Green Acres thing you got going on though, Rebecca. That’s awesome.
0:07:30 – Speaker 2
Do you see my, my pants?
0:07:32 – Speaker 1
Why does Aaron look like hates them? They’re so terrible.
0:07:35 – Speaker 2
Hates them?
0:07:36 – Speaker 1
Why is it that I am dressed like I’m going to Alaska in a couple hours and you are dressed like you are headed the Bahamas?
0:07:43 – Speaker 2
Because I did have a sweater on, and then I didn’t wear it with my, with my coat. Oh, you had a sweater under your fur coat. No, I had one on like a, like a cardigan, oh, and then I didn’t. It was too hot with my coat. So I took it off, and then I didn’t put two and two together that I’d be taking the coat off when I got here. I see, I see.
0:08:02 – Speaker 1
Well, because you’re always hormonal and over the top, true, true, oh, I will tell you, you’re probably the perfect temperature right now.
0:08:07 – Speaker 2
I will tell you, I feel like that has um subsided. I changed medications. I think it was a medication side effect.
0:08:13 – Speaker 1
Wow, interesting. Okay, I know, did I know you changed medications? Did we talk about this? No, I can’t, I actually just stopped, you cleared it with Aaron to change medications.
0:08:23 – Speaker 2
I didn’t change medications, I just stopped.
0:08:25 – Speaker 1
Oh, that’s even better. I love. I love that you said change.
0:08:30 – Speaker 2
I didn’t want you to question.
0:08:31 – Speaker 1
I love that you, I can’t Do you know. The truth always comes out, just it always comes out.
0:08:38 – Speaker 3
Just use different words.
0:08:39 – Speaker 2
And then, when I re-engage with it, I get the hot flashes and then so that’s when I decided that’s what it was.
0:08:43 – Speaker 1
So it’s not that you stopped it. You forgot to take it for a certain number of days, and when you say re-engage, you retook it and then you were like, wow, this will get hot again, this isn’t great. And then you forget to take it again. Is that what we’re really talking about?
0:08:55 – Speaker 3
I love the translation. There’s always a translation.
0:08:59 – Speaker 1
And then you decided I’m not because those hot flashes it’s too much, it’s not worth it, way too much compared to my depression and anxiety.
0:09:08 – Speaker 3
You know what I’m not getting Too hot.
0:09:11 – Speaker 1
That’s what I’m not getting. I might stay in bed all day and not do anything but you know what I’m not getting?
0:09:16 – Speaker 3
It’s too warm.
0:09:18 – Speaker 1
I can’t, I can’t. Oh, it’s a different medication.
0:09:23 – Speaker 2
Okay, that’s good, because I’m not good at taking the medication.
0:09:26 – Speaker 1
It’s probably your herbal, whatever your herbal cleanse that you do, whatever I can’t, I don’t even know. I have the word. Guess the fart down here because we were supposed to talk about that and we did, we did and you got your list of cross that out. Guess the farts. So all right, let’s start us One. Some things don’t change in 2024.
0:09:47 – Speaker 2
And the first is your hippie voodoo shit. Oh no, we’re probably going to learn about something no Still anti, but it’s fine, let’s just do it. You know what I realized? I took the pendulum out to ask it some questions and I never put it back in my bag. Okay, that’s very sad. It’s very sad. So we don’t have it today for life’s big questions? No, but I will make sure to have it for the rest of 2024.
0:10:08 – Speaker 1
Okay, Good, oh wow, that’s a yellow one. You’re picking it. You already looked. Well, I mean you.
0:10:13 – Speaker 2
We had to tell everybody about our new.
0:10:15 – Speaker 1
Why is it curling like that? It’s like it’s like a separate. It looks like it looks like that woman on the Guinness Book of World Records with your fingernails, with her super long fingernails, that like curl down and then we got to show everybody super long. How do I do it?
0:10:29 – Speaker 3
We can see it. Yeah, that’s weird.
0:10:33 – Speaker 2
It’s gonna drop on. I don’t like that. It’s gonna drop.
0:10:36 – Speaker 1
And then what are you gonna do? Throw it on the floor. Throw it on the floor. I do like how it smells in here, though.
0:10:42 – Speaker 2
But that’s our. That was a you, and I teamed up at Christmas time. Oh, absolutely On a minute to win it to game. Play in dare games. And what was our game? Which is ironic because you never choose me as a partner. But did I this time? You sure did, because I’m turning a new leaf. You sure did. But you also knew that this was gonna be when we were gonna excel, absolutely. Yeah, because I’m pretty sure you cheated and it’s totally fine.
0:11:02 – Speaker 1
Well, I didn’t win the one that I cheated on, so I did feel a little bit better about that, but this is what we had to do. Rebecca was sitting in a chair. I was standing on the chair. Yeah, behind me, hovering, she has a Sharpie marker and a paper plate on top of her head and then on the sheet of paper it had said what needed to be drawn.
0:11:23 – Speaker 2
So let’s say it’s like blind-pictionary.
0:11:24 – Speaker 1
Yeah, so let’s say it was like a snowman, right, right. So I’m standing up looking down at Rebecca and she’s got her stupid little Sharpie marker and her paper plate, and the whole table is doing this. So you have to be the first one to guess it, right? I think we won on Snowman, I think that was one of them. And we won on Something else Belle, belle, no Belle.
0:11:50 – Speaker 2
That was the one she did on me.
0:11:51 – Speaker 3
She did a Jeter one.
0:11:52 – Speaker 1
I know Nina won on that one. No, she didn’t, yeah. And then she admitted to me later on. She’s like I looked at Mark.
0:11:58 – Speaker 3
Mark’s was good.
0:11:59 – Speaker 1
Mark’s, because Mark’s he nailed that, I did, he nailed that he did. Yeah, so we won on two of them. And then what did we win?
0:12:05 – Speaker 2
We so we got to pick from a pile of gifts, goodies, and there were two in there that we were eyeing Yep, and one was oh. I brought both of them, I’ll show them. Oh good, ok, yeah.
0:12:15 – Speaker 1
So there’s this whole pool of gifts in the middle, and if you win, then you get to pick which one you want. Now I will say I won first. And what did I say? Which one do you want? Which one do you want? I know I did. And now, what did I get you?
0:12:29 – Speaker 2
You got me this. It was. It’s the Tarot Incense Variety Pack. Yep, I mean, if Bliss doesn’t speak, I know Right, I mean come on, so today today we’re dealing with our incense of the day is the world. Oh, it’s the world. Look it’s got Because it’s 2024.
0:12:47 – Speaker 1
I got the whole world in my hand. Yeah, what’s this one? Then I won. We won this second one, that’s right.
0:12:54 – Speaker 2
And then this one is the Chakra’s Incense Variety Pack. Yes, because you can never have too many incense. So basically this means that we have to now do podcasts. One per incense for all the incense that you do. I mean, that’s like a million.
0:13:07 – Speaker 1
That’s a long time, or a long time. You’ll be with us until 2045. At this point, we go through all the incense, yeah.
0:13:16 – Speaker 2
All right.
0:13:16 – Speaker 1
Ok, what do you got today? Oh, it’s yellow right. Oh swords again, surprise, surprise.
0:13:23 – Speaker 2
Six of swords. Ok, look at this guy’s paddle board.
0:13:25 – Speaker 1
Is that a?
0:13:25 – Speaker 2
stork, yeah, and he’s paddle boarding or a swan.
0:13:29 – Speaker 1
OK, is that thing with a bill OK?
0:13:33 – Speaker 2
Or a pelican.
0:13:34 – Speaker 1
No, a pelican, it’s a pelican. I mean that does?
0:13:36 – Speaker 2
I am going to be 42. Right, or I am 42, I should say, well, I’m going to be 43 this year. Oh, my god, I’m going to be 43 this year.
0:13:46 – Speaker 1
I cannot wait, I cannot wait, so gross. I’m curious how it feels to be 42.
0:13:54 – Speaker 3
I don’t even remember being 42. Really Rebecca’s up.
0:13:57 – Speaker 1
I’m not good Seriously no.
0:13:59 – Speaker 2
Rebecca feels it every day. That’s true. You know who does? I don’t remember because I have not been there yet. Oh, six of swords. This is a sign that you’re moving on to better times Greener pastures, sweeter honey, less frequent panic attacks. There may be some sadness or feeling of loss as you row your boat to the other side of the lake, but you can take comfort in knowing this new shore is defined as a definite upgrade. So while you paddle away from Struggle Beach, daydream about private cabanas, pre-sliced mangoes, martial arts, little massages that await you, and also hope that, and also hope word hasn’t gotten out about to the tourists yet, and also hope that word hasn’t gotten out to the tourists yet.
0:14:45 – Speaker 1
Here’s the affirmation to the tourists Tourists, tourists, so like we don’t want them there, right, you’re not invited, right, don’t? Come here Don’t come Right so affirmation.
0:14:55 – Speaker 2
I call next level joy into my life and I’m so grateful for all the things I’m about to be grateful for. I love that. I do too, and it’s so apropos that is so perfect. It is so apropos because I have this is my first week of my new life.
0:15:10 – Speaker 1
That’s right. And remember when I said to you we’re all done, right, we’re all done. Who was that? I know.
0:15:18 – Speaker 2
Scott’s talking to someone.
0:15:19 – Speaker 1
Maybe you got back there, Scott.
0:15:21 – Speaker 3
Me daughter.
0:15:22 – Speaker 2
Oh, your daughter’s here, just me daughter Abby.
0:15:24 – Speaker 3
She’s out here, oh hi.
0:15:25 – Speaker 2
Abby, A little work. Oh, then maybe we need to be tape oh hi Nye, hi Nye.
0:15:30 – Speaker 1
Oh, there she is. Hi Abby, oh, that’s so great.
0:15:35 – Speaker 3
Sorry.
0:15:36 – Speaker 1
That’s so great. So we’re talking about our new one. Oh yeah, and I was saying, as soon as the end of 2023 hits, january 1st, I’m all in, I’m done, I’ve moved past it, and you were like that’s really surprising to me. How do you just turn it off and move in, right? So are you feeling like you’re feeling in 2024, like you were able to really do some of what this card says and let go of some of the craziness that happened in 2023 and really be embracing what 2024 has to bring? No, oh, my god.
0:16:18 – Speaker 2
I mean I want to and it sounds really nice and it just sounds so fake.
0:16:22 – Speaker 1
Really yeah, and I turned it right off. Boo, boo, boo, brand new starting over.
0:16:29 – Speaker 3
It’s hard to do.
0:16:30 – Speaker 2
Which is funny, because I’m normally not like that.
0:16:32 – Speaker 1
I know I’m usually you’re usually the much more boundary one, and I’m like we still got to talk about 2023. Nope, right Done though, so All done, bring it in 24.
0:16:42 – Speaker 2
Maybe because I’ve decided to label that in my brain as learning lessons or growth opportunities or whatever. So I don’t see it as a muddled mess. Maybe I just see it as a growth opportunity, so maybe that’s why.
0:16:58 – Speaker 1
Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe you don’t have the need to have to clean, break it and start over. For me, not surprisingly. Black and white over here. Clean break, start over. That doesn’t mean I’m not carrying with me the lessons of 2023. Right, but I’m all set. That’s rear view mirror for me. I feel this renewed sense of energy, excitement, all set, moving on. Wow, you know, like those memes that say 365 new possibilities for this year, I feel that in my soul Yep, ok, all ready, bring it on.
0:17:36 – Speaker 3
I want to.
0:17:38 – Speaker 1
Right, right.
0:17:38 – Speaker 3
You know what I mean. I really want to do that, really want to feel like so maybe it’s the work.
0:17:41 – Speaker 2
She’s done a lot of work, mental work. Maybe I just haven’t had done enough mental work, but I also wasn’t in the trenches as much as you, so maybe it’s no no, no, you can’t do it either, scott.
0:17:55 – Speaker 3
I mean, I’m I’m looking forward to the year where January one comes along and I’m I’m OK.
0:18:03 – Speaker 2
I’m not going.
0:18:04 – Speaker 3
I need to change everything, because that’s how it is. Every freaking year I need to lose 50 pounds. I need to stop doing this and stop drinking 900 diamond and do’s a day talking like this all the time.
0:18:19 – Speaker 2
I’m going to stop doing that, so maybe OK. So my journey last year was acceptance, and just Sometimes we want things because other people say that’s what you should want or be or do, or this is, this is what health looks like, or this is what happiness looks like, and if you just do these things you’ll get it all right, and I truly have. I mean, I’ve always been a little bit out there, but last year really was the year of I’m just going to embrace what is me and what I love and what I like, and I’m not going to pretend like it’s not OK. And if I’m happy with it and I’m OK with it, then it’s OK. So maybe that’s part of what your feelings got. Maybe you’re feeling just outside pressures.
0:19:13 – Speaker 3
Could be, could be, but I think I think I’ve taken those outside pressures and made them my own for so many years that I can’t tell the difference. That’s just how it always is. I always feel like I’ll look, and here’s what I do. I listen to a lot of memoirs from famous people, so one of my favorite things Right and and I’m like right now I’m listening to my F in life by Gettie Lee, who’s the singer, bass player for Rush, and Rush is one of my favorite bands going way back, and it’s amazing he’s and he narrates it himself but I’m I’m getting a little upset Because I was in a band in my 20s and it was a bunch of us trying to, you know, make it big in the music industry. We get very far, but we had those dreams and I’m hearing him talk about how those dreams came true and all the cool things that happened to him and it gets me down. I’m like, oh, I like listening to it If they’re cool stories, but at the same time I’m like I don’t want to do that.
0:20:17 – Speaker 2
Yeah, but at the same time I think I think people look at you and see, wow, look, he’s doing it. He built his own business, he built a studio Like it’s, it’s totally.
0:20:27 – Speaker 3
I’m totally in my own head and it’s ridiculous.
0:20:30 – Speaker 2
Yes, but.
0:20:30 – Speaker 3
I completely I can really?
0:20:32 – Speaker 2
I listen to a lot of them too. I read I’m right now reading Paris Hilton’s book, loving it.
0:20:37 – Speaker 3
I mean, aaron listened to the whole beginning because it’s not on my list for some reason.
0:20:40 – Speaker 2
Oh, it’s great, it’s great, and she’s talking about the sex tape. That’s the part that I’m at right now. That’s the part that I’m at right now, but she, she gives this beautiful prologue about her ADHD brain.
0:20:54 – Speaker 3
Is it ghostwritten or did she write it completely herself?
0:20:57 – Speaker 2
That’s a good question. I don’t know.
0:21:00 – Speaker 3
I’ll just find out if she has the literary chops to actually write that herself or not.
0:21:05 – Speaker 2
She’s actually brilliant.
0:21:06 – Speaker 3
Is she?
0:21:07 – Speaker 2
And that’s again. She talks about how she made up this persona and totally embodied it Cool.
0:21:13 – Speaker 3
I love when I hear that. I love when you’re completely thrown off by what you think you know about somebody and then you hear their story and you’re like what?
0:21:23 – Speaker 2
That’s what she talks about. She’s actually one of she’s one of the most successful business women in the world.
0:21:28 – Speaker 3
She, yeah, I sides, kim Kardashian and all those people. Well, they’re all connected.
0:21:33 – Speaker 2
They’re all friends, right.
0:21:33 – Speaker 3
That’s right.
0:21:35 – Speaker 2
So she talks about.
0:21:36 – Speaker 3
I love how they started with nothing and built their way all the way up, mm hmm, and well, I mean Paris Hilton didn’t.
0:21:42 – Speaker 2
But she just talks about how she was dismissed a lot as a, as a child, because of her ADHD brain, and how she was tried to be pushed into this corner and back back when we were growing up we’re all the same age, right, and girls didn’t have those issues back then, right? So she just struggled a lot. And it’s just so interesting because I find myself having a lot of aha moments and that’s why I made Aaron listen to it, because I’m like this is why my brain is the way it is and this is why I think the way I do, and this is this is my perception or perspective on things, and it helped clear up a lot of Confusion. Is that the word, I don’t know, you mean for me or for you?
0:22:22 – Speaker 1
For both of us, yeah.
0:22:23 – Speaker 2
Because I’m like I don’t know why I think this just how I think, and I don’t know why I can’t conform. And I can see certain other I can value and I can see the way other people do things and I can strive to do that. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
0:22:38 – Speaker 1
So, anyway, you know, what’s interesting about that is, when I was listening to that, I remember myself feeling like, oh my gosh, even the whole prologue is scattered, oh yeah, so all over the place. But I’m not interested in making you conform and what I am interested in is making myself more comfortable in times where I need to be comfortable. But it’s not about making you conform, because I just love you exactly who you are. The craziness, the oh my gosh I can’t believe she just said that right, all of those things it’s for me about, let’s say, in a work scenario, if I need something done by a certain time, it’s because I need my own anxiety needs met, and it was really interesting to me to hear her talk about that and to hear her talk about the negative impact that it has had on her and that I’ve heard you say it’s had on you Because of the outside pressures, of feeling like you needed to be something that you weren’t, because you’re constantly getting these messages from other people.
That made me then wonder is it that you’re getting messages from other people that you shouldn’t be this way? Why are you like this? You should be able to do it this way instead, or are you just taking that on as a personal attack, when the other person is really just trying to communicate what it is that they need, and you’re not hearing it as something that they need. You’re hearing it as oh my gosh, there must be a problem with me.
0:24:08 – Speaker 2
But again it goes back to your formative years, when you were raised in an environment like school that has a very specific type of expectation, etc. Etc. And you as a child are told no, no, you’re not good enough, no, you’re not smart enough, no, you are too you know, you’re moved too much, you are whatever it is. Those things are ingrained. This is why we talk about inner child healing, because those things are completely reinforced, ingrained into who you are. So that’s the lens you look at when you’re an adult.
So when you’re an adult and you’re in that room, your brain can’t. Unless you’ve done the work and named all of these things. You can’t possibly get to that level of perspective because you can’t fathom it. Yeah, interesting.
0:24:57 – Speaker 1
At all, because you’re getting so many messages constantly, whether you’re going to school, whether you’re in a home environment, that is not whether your friends act a certain way, whether your friends’ parents are responding to you because, oh well, rebecca’s just XYZ kid, right? You’re just getting so many messages from so many places that are telling you your kind is not accepted here. Right, that you start to internalize that right and that that does start at a very early age. And we were talking in the car as we’re listening to this about how who I am as a person in many ways just conforms to those societal norms and expectations and what is acceptable in those types of. So I’ve not had to feel that rub. So we talk about the grounded chakra all the time. It’s a lot easier for me to be grounded when I’ve not been at discord during my life about the fact that who I am is allowable to be in these certain types of places.
0:25:51 – Speaker 2
Yes, really interesting, yes, and so when you and she talks about doing the work and meeting with a therapist and doing all of these things and then nobody asked her to change, that’s what was so validating for me. She recognized and embraced who she was as a person and now sees the other side. So when somebody’s feeling uncomfortable, she’s like, okay, I can rein it in, or she has a technique with her husband because they’re business partners and some things, and he just they have like a keyword or whatever, and she’s able to pull it back and she’s not offended because we’ve named it and it’s again. It’s just how people’s brains work. And then you can pick and choose what you’ve learned real, real, clear.
You’re not going to put me in charge of managing the podcast because it’s not going to be done. Either it’s not going to be done to the way you want it to be done, It’ll get done. Correct, it just won’t be. So your neurosis and your, you know we just pick and choose where our fortes are and what we’re willing to let go or not let go.
0:26:57 – Speaker 1
And it’s totally fine. Yeah, but we’re both happy to be in that light and whenever we run into any problems, it’s with trying to force the other person to step out of their comfort zone to do it. So it’s me saying to you can you please have this done by this time, in this way, in this environment, and you’re like, oh boy, yeah, I will, but right. Or it’s you saying to me, blow off work today. We’re not doing it, we’re going here and I’m like, no, I have these obligations that I need to do. Right, we come together best when we’re both able to be in our zones and then do those things, whatever that may be right within that that scenario Right, and when you were mentioning during the podcast on, do we ever fight?
0:27:41 – Speaker 2
And you said I am, when I analyze our relationship, I think this is how married couples should have healthy married couples should interact, and I’ve actually been fixated on that for a little while because I think to myself that’s exactly true, and why? Why is it difficult? Is it level?
0:28:05 – Speaker 1
intelligence? No, no is it? I tell you exactly what it is, because I know the answer. Oh, okay, right, because.
0:28:13 – Speaker 2
I just do, you just know. No, the answer is where do we go into this building?
0:28:17 – Speaker 1
Right, we go to the left, we go right to the left and right over here. It’s the answer number four. Okay, that’s just what it is. I was just talking about this at breakfast this morning with someone, so I said you know, what’s really been interesting to me is when it comes to healthy types of marriage or partnership conversations, two things I think are missing from that relationship and this is every relationship unless you’re just like a really phenomenal great, you and your husband just got it down, right, right. And there’s a lack of trust that that person is genuinely coming from a place that is caring for you. Right? I’ve lost trust in the fact that you’re trying to help me and I’m trying to help you. You really love me, I really love you. We’ve somehow lost our trust along the way.
The second part for me is that we get so caught up in the actual argument and the linguistics of the argument that we forget the base of how the other person is trying to show love to the other person. And I said this morning at breakfast what if, in all of our arguments, instead of saying you know what the actual argument was or I’m angry because you’re doing this or doing that, what if we reframed it and instead talked about the way I’m trying to show you love right now. Is this so? In the example I was talking about at breakfast this morning? It was I don’t want you to have to carry the burden of that meeting you just went to, so I’m trying to show you love by asking about it. And then the partner says I’m trying to show you love by not burdening with you with the information, because I see you have so much on your plate right now. The actual argument was hey, just give me some specifics about that meeting and tell me how it went right.
And then the partner says oh well, you know, it went like this and like this and like this. And this person’s like well, I have more questions about it. And they’re like well, we don’t have time, and now the kids are screaming. And before you know it, this person’s like I just wanted to ask you questions about what happened at the meeting, and now we don’t have time to do that because the kids are screaming. And this person’s like well, of course I messed it up, of course I didn’t do it the right way.
And we get so lost in the actual argument that we’ve forgotten to address the ways we were just trying to one, show each other love and two, trusting that that person really is trying to show us love. And so I thought, god, how would our arguments sound differently, how would our discussion sound different, if we just led from how I’m trying to show you love right now is this and the person doesn’t respond by saying I don’t need love shown that way. The person accepts it and is like, wow, okay, you’re trying to show me love in this way. And then the other person is like and I’m trying to show you love in this way? You’re going to find out real quick. You’re both trying to show each other love in your own specific ways and also in really different ways than maybe what that person needs. But if you can meet at that place, the rest of the argument doesn’t matter as much anymore, because you’re coming together in that it’s not really an argument.
0:31:31 – Speaker 2
That’s right, it’s not, it’s never an argument.
0:31:33 – Speaker 1
You’re arguing over the fact that you both are trying to show each other love yeah, yeah, right. And that in that, in that episode where we talked about do we ever fight? That was really one of the core messages is I always know you’re coming from a place of love and care. You’re never coming from a place of how can I get one up, and I also am very aware of the ways you’re trying to show me love, even if that’s not how I need love shown in that moment, and you aren’t feel exactly the same way about me. It’s true, you’re never like fricking Aaron’s pushing her fricking up agenda on me again, right, yeah, no, but that’s how an argument could start, if it could. If you thought I was pushing an agenda. What you’re thinking in that moment is oh, when Aaron gets really anxious about taking care of me, she has a tendency to get real specific about the advice and the direction that she’s giving, right? You just know that.
0:32:32 – Speaker 2
But do you think so? Okay, so do you think not? Every single person come as you are, individual people have an opportunity to have the type of relationship we do. Does it have to be a specific formula? It might be the wrong word, but I feel like the reason you and I click is because I am the way I am and because you are the way you are and because we are again I hate to say this but elevated in some way that we’re able to get out of our own ways and see that, because I don’t know if it would be genuine, for if I truly didn’t feel that way and I was just saying that and acting that and tolerating like your nuances, but deep down I’m like, oh God, you know what I mean, but think about that. Right, you, really you, but that’s where you really have to own it If I was truly offended that you didn’t like my business name I’m just giving an example.
0:33:38 – Speaker 1
I’m giving it wait. Let’s reenact that when you come in your business name.
0:33:42 – Speaker 3
What is it? Oh, but no, she made that one.
0:33:45 – Speaker 2
I busted yeah.
0:33:48 – Speaker 1
I’m like, hey, wait, tell me your business name, but I’m going to close my eyes, right. And then I say it Just in case I don’t like it. And then you said tell me what your business name was. And I said, all right, so what are we doing this afternoon?
0:33:58 – Speaker 2
Just totally changed the topic.
I knew if you were totally offended, right, right, right, you would have said that, though in the moment, but that’s because, again, we have the built trust and we, we could talk about it. And then you could say to me here’s why I don’t like it, whatever, whatever, whatever. And reality is, I didn’t want to talk about it because, even if you were to say those kinds of things, that part might hurt my feelings. You didn’t want to hear it. Right, but we could. We could talk it to death, but at the end of the day, I know I’m not going to change it. So it’s OK that you don’t like it. It’s OK you don’t like my pants. It’s OK you don’t like those kinds of things. But if I truly was the type of person that was like it matters to me if Aaron likes the name of the business I would have come to you and said here’s what I’m thinking. What do you think? Right?
0:34:42 – Speaker 1
That’s how I would have approached it, but let’s play this out, ok. So let’s, let’s use the, the name of your business, as an example. If if you said to me that I’m showing you love right now by sharing an important decision that I have made and you’re important to me and I just want you to be a part of this, and then I’m sitting here with my eyes closed because I’m nervous that you’re about to give me a name, right?
You also know me that I don’t, I don’t like if I don’t, right, right. And if I said to you you told me the name. And if I said I’m showing you love right now by literally saying this yes, ok, like, like. If I’m not saying, oh, it’s a stupid, right, because that would be the argument, right. But if I said I’m showing you love right now by wanting you to always present your best foot forward, and I get nervous if I don’t feel it’s it, because I never want you to come upon scrutiny, criticism or anyone saying anything bad to you ever.
That sounds so different than if you’re like a named my business busted by babes, and I’m like that’s the argument is busted by babes. That’s stupid. And then I’m like why do you think it’s stupid? You think I’m an idiot, right. And then it starts to go from there, right. But if we can start communicating from that standpoint of the reason at the end of the day, if I’m not having a reaction, because does it really matter to me at the end of the day what your business name is? No, honestly, it impacts me 0.00 in the scheme of life, except for the scheme of life. Except if someone else is like why’d she name it that Then I’m like I’m a fuck, a bad job.
0:36:35 – Speaker 2
Or you could be like I don’t know, it’s not my favorite and that’s okay too.
0:36:39 – Speaker 1
But I wouldn’t, I’d say that to you, but you could, I feel like. Well, I, this is what Shelly said about your business name, and I agree with Shelly, but I sure did bust her face at 7-Eleven because she talked about your business name.
0:36:54 – Speaker 2
And I appreciate that. But getting back to the core of the in-the-moment exchange, if I truly had a reaction to you not liking it and I couldn’t share that and that continued to build up and build up and build up over time, that’s not an authentic relationship, correct. And I think that’s where people, that’s the evolution, that’s the wow you’re you really I don’t think that’s a natural thing for people. I think they’re in denial.
I think that even as, again going back to formative years, we’re constantly talking about tolerance. We need to tolerate I hate that word. We don’t need to tolerate anybody. That’s so rude, but it’s okay. It’s okay to be kind and it’s okay to be gentle, but you certainly don’t have to like everything. You certainly don’t have to tolerate anything. You certainly can have an opinion right, but you have to be able to articulate that. And then you have to decide where you’re going with that and you and I have decided basically from the beginning of our relationship we’re totally cool with okaying to disagree and maybe that was just a fundamental thing that we which allowed us to elevate, I don’t know.
0:38:09 – Speaker 1
But I don’t.
0:38:10 – Speaker 2
I feel like deep down if people were to truly analyze their gut reactions, their gut sense, and be authentically real and raw, even if it hurts somebody.
0:38:24 – Speaker 1
But you, but I, I can be that way with you because you’re able to authentically hold that Correct. So I could. I can absolutely see myself saying I noticed that I’m having a reaction to your business name because I really don’t like it. But I’m also not going to say that because I don’t want to hurt your feelings and I know that my opinion means something to you. That’s what I would say. I know and you would say, and I really appreciate that, because your opinion does mean a lot to me and I don’t want to hear what you have to say and I’m thinking to myself I appreciate that.
0:38:51 – Speaker 2
Thank you for your truth, but that’s exactly what we did telepathically.
0:38:55 – Speaker 1
I know that’s 100% what we did telepathically, but that’s next level, but that’s where we are.
0:39:00 – Speaker 2
I agree, I can read your face and I know all of that just happened. Right, all of that happened. And you read mine and all of that happened and then we moved on and then you’re like let me see your logo, that’s right. Right, but that’s the key and I mean we could analyze our hope. Maybe, maybe we’ve built that. I don’t know. We’ve had thousands of conversations.
0:39:21 – Speaker 1
We absolutely have built that Okay, and I want to be real clear that I had to mold you into the type of person that, because what you used to do was, I would say I’m noticing myself having a reaction to you know, whatever. Because I’ve always been steadfast in communicating exactly how I’m feeling in the kindest, most caring way possible. But you previously would have said no, it’s totally fine, you can tell me exactly how you feel. Yeah, don’t worry about it. And then I would be like that I hate that name so much. And you’d be like, oh my God, you do, why, why do?
0:40:00 – Speaker 3
you hate it. You mean, I would change it.
0:40:03 – Speaker 1
Right, but you would entertain, yes, the whole process, the whole time. You’re getting hurt, your heart is being hurt, your second guessing yourself. Now you’re not showing anyone that. No, you’re like I’m still putting this thing out there, like right, but inside you’re like, oh my God, maybe they don’t like it, maybe it’s not great, maybe you would take that all on yourself.
So what we’ve built over the last 20 years is me saying to you I promise you that it is safe for you to say to me oh, we got, I got your eyes closed, you got your eyes closed right now, and I’m like I sure do have my eyes closed. And then, telepathically, we know, right, that that means because I don’t know what name you’re about to tell me, right, and then you will say it’s okay, because I like it anyway and that’s it, and then we can just move on. Right, and you now know that it’s safe to do that and that I’m not going to be like what do you don’t care about my opinion? Or like try and shove it down your throat, or right, right, we evolved to that.
But I think to your earlier question of does everyone have the capacity to do this? I like to think this might just be my bleeding heart that everyone has the capacity to have this type of communication. It’s just a lot harder for people who are coming from crazy past trauma histories, who’s who are not in sync to begin with, in like really easier ways. They have more to overcome. And it’s harder when you don’t have the skills and the training and the experience to know how you’re supposed to put that all together.
0:41:37 – Speaker 2
When you say it’s, I keep going back to my daughter. She’s 14 and she is so desperately wanting to have close relationships but at the same time she’s so constantly disappointed. And you know she tries to have effective. Unfortunately she has us as moms. I know.
0:41:56 – Speaker 3
And I know she is.
0:41:58 – Speaker 1
She is just on the struggle bus and she because she’s so confused, yeah, that she’s like I’m being authentic, I’m being open, I’m telling you how I feel about these things, right, and you’re just supposed to accept that and be like cool, we could have the closest relationship ever, right, and none of her peers, no God there’s adults right, can’t do that Right, and then she’s constantly disappointed by the fact that there’s no one able to hang with conversation at that level.
I know, I know and it is. And honestly, I had spent a lot of my life feeling that way. Yeah, I think it was during one of my interpersonal relationship groups and my masters of counseling program, where you do a lot of that. You’re literally practicing that for 15 weeks or 30 weeks where it is like, oh, I noticed when you just said that that I had a reaction and the person’s like what’s that reaction? Well, the reaction was right and you’re literally just here and now, in the moment, processing it.
And I remember going home to the person I was dating at the time and I said can we communicate like that all the time? Cause gosh, so much realness and beauty comes from that conversation. And his first reaction was to have like a I don’t want to have a counseling type relationship, but I’m like, no, it’s, I promise you, it’s not counseling, it’s just real, it’s authentic, it’s honest, it’s beautiful, like we just have to try it Right. And that didn’t end up going anywhere. He was way too nice and I I don’t pick nice people actually appall me, so that was so.
It wasn’t the best place to try that out, unfortunately. But then I meet you and I’m like, okay, we’ve got a new test subject here, we’ve got a new test one, and you were able to go along for the ride, embrace that, because at your core, that’s who you are as well. And then, unfortunately, as we talked about in that episode, we just ruined it for everyone else in our life, because that then becomes the new bar, and then we’re like, well, it kind of sucks. But I do think something you and I both have done in 2023 and now in 2024 is establish our group of people that can hang and do that. Right, mina is one of those people. Kelly up the street is one of those people. Right, there’s just these, these people. That are the people we can have those types of real, honest, no bullshit conversations with that we know can be safe and can hang with it, and then, slowly but surely, the others who are unable to hang in those conversations just become lesser of a presence.
0:44:38 – Speaker 2
Right, right. And at the end of the day, what’s, what’s also cool is I’m hoping that people who want to grow and want to experience that, but they have to be prepared to be held accountable. Yeah, it’s just reality and, if you know, we talked about this in the beginning. It’s like the evolution of our relationship. We came into this podcast like tip be do. It’s just listen, people where it is. Here’s what it is and reality is. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m going to say something and you’re either going to be able to hang back or not, and right in that moment I will decide where you are in my orbit. Absolutely, and it it’s going to. You just show your colors yourself.
0:45:24 – Speaker 1
Yes, you finally said this is who I am. I am done trying to stifle that to make other people feel comfortable. Now, that doesn’t mean you’re not empathetic and caring that if all of a sudden you go crazy, hog, wild and someone has a reaction to it, right, you’re able to rein that in and apologize and whatever. But it is the case that you’re done trying to constantly walk on eggshells around everyone so that they’re comfortable. It’s either you’re hanging with me and you know who I am and this is what you get, and I’ll still respond. You know accordingly. But I’m not going to constantly be stifling myself for everyone’s comfort.
0:46:02 – Speaker 2
No, and but at the same time I’m I’m always willing to grow, I’m always willing to be pushed, I’m always willing to be schooled, educated, whatever. But at the same time I’m really steadfast in where I feel I am, in my beliefs, in my values, yeah, and I still try to be respectful, but I still I’m not afraid to question or say I don’t know if I agree with that, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make me like you any less you know it is.
0:46:40 – Speaker 1
That is a new thing for you in the last year or two To say things yes, To push back in verbally In social situations, not in work situations.
0:46:54 – Speaker 2
In work situations, I always felt comfortable to say what I had to say, so, so, so, blah, blah, blah. Social situations I feel more confident to say what I need to say and be who I am and not feel judged about that.
0:47:10 – Speaker 1
Yeah, the other thing this is not to toot my own horn here Toot toot. You got a toot toot button, scott. Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.
0:47:21 – Speaker 3
What the heck was that Scooby?
0:47:23 – Speaker 1
What? That was the best you got there.
0:47:26 – Speaker 3
Doot, toot, toot, toot, toot. It took me by surprise. I don’t have. No, I don’t have.
0:47:30 – Speaker 2
Need a drum roll yeah.
0:47:31 – Speaker 3
I got a rim shot. That’s a bit so.
0:47:36 – Speaker 1
All I heard, all I heard him just say Rim job Was a rim job. Oh my God. I heard him say that, too, we don’t have a button for that. Yeah, we’ve got to do this. Hmm, okay, that’s all. Yeah, let’s go. That’s the best. We got a cam To me, did we just get in trouble?
0:48:04 – Speaker 3
Oh shit, was it like this? No, no, it was worth the game.
0:48:09 – Speaker 1
Go get on, I don’t get it. Or understanding of proper communication, their own baggage, how that plays its way into the conversation because there has to be a driver of the apparent chaos at times.
0:48:28 – Speaker 2
Oh, well, again, this is our podcast in a nutshell. You’re always in charge, right. That’s why you’re in the town. You manage everything. That’s right, that’s right.
0:48:35 – Speaker 1
But I think in your question about is everyone capable of it? The only thing that gives me slight pause is that sometimes we’re dealing with someone who’s like a two out of 10 in their communication and a two and a half out of 10. It’s going to be a lot harder for those communication types to equal out to the 10 out of 10. Then if you have me at an eight and someone else at a two, then we can meet our way in the middle a little bit easier. I’m not saying that’s not frustrating and annoying and really freaking hard for the eight, right If you’re both an eight and an eight. Like there’s a family up the street Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill went up the hill, stop.
0:49:15 – Speaker 3
That’s their names.
0:49:16 – Speaker 1
I love them, right, that’s sweet. I look at their relationship and I’m like are their?
0:49:20 – Speaker 3
kids Humpty, dumpty. Just no, how’s his crown, though they are not.
0:49:24 – Speaker 1
They are not. They were all um umpa-lumpas and um Willy Wonka. That’s adorable and it was freaking adorable. Anyway, they’re like this really amazing family. And what I really envy and love about Jack and Jill went up the hill relationship is that they both communicate. It’s in such a beautiful way. It’s not that they probably don’t argue or disagree or whatever, but they’re both at least a salad seven or an eight to start with, so they don’t have as far to have to go to get to that 10.
Yeah, the question is, like you said, how much work are you going to put in? Are you prepared to be, you know, wholly held, confused, when someone’s giving you the what? What Are you allowed to be led? Are you allowed to humble yourself to these types of conversations? And really, at the end of the day, the question becomes is this the commitment that you really want to make and what to put your time into? Yeah, it doesn’t have to be Right. 50% of marriages end up in divorce. Sure, it does not need to be Right. But the question is are you willing and are you able to acknowledge who’s the eight and who’s the four and then work together to figure out how you can develop something different. That’s a good point. You know, did we get through all your list with our time check? No, we did not get through all the lists, but it’s fine because we’re at 50 minutes, so we literally have like one minute left. Wow, I know. Five more questions. Take five more questions.
I’m gonna, I have to end with one quick thing I just need to tell you, and then also my little thing here. So just two more, just two more things, just two more things, okay. And then we’re at another hour and 16 minutes. That’s fine, no, okay. So something really funny happened to me on Facebook Marketplace. So there’s this place called Thunderdeals. Have you heard of it? Nope, but I can’t wait to tell you all about it.
0:51:21 – Speaker 2
It can’t be today, because it’s a whole episode in and of itself, okay, this is probably the same place as Chapafellas.
0:51:26 – Speaker 1
We are 100% recording at Thunderdeals. Okay, okay, we’re gonna love Thunderdeals. Anyway, I bought a Sherman keyboard for $7 there.
0:51:38 – Speaker 2
What is this Sherman?
0:51:39 – Speaker 1
A Sherman keyboard. They sell for $59.99 on Amazon.
0:51:44 – Speaker 3
Is that the mechanical keyboard that you were selling?
0:51:46 – Speaker 1
Yes, it sure is Scott.
0:51:48 – Speaker 3
Clickety-clickety.
0:51:49 – Speaker 1
Clickety-clackety. Yeah, it sounds like a typewriter.
0:51:52 – Speaker 3
Yeah, it looks like a typewriter. It’s awesome it looks like a Commodore 64 keyboard.
0:51:55 – Speaker 1
I did not like the colors of it, but it didn’t matter because I knew I was gonna resell it. Okay, bought it for $7.00. Just sold it for $30. Do you?
0:52:02 – Speaker 3
even know what a Commodore 64 is. No, sorry, I just dated myself, never mind Continue.
0:52:09 – Speaker 1
So, thunderdeals, I get the keyboard. The keyboard is known for its specific sounds. I buy it for $7.00. I sell it for $30. It retails on Amazon for $60. I put it on the marketplace. Okay, I get a hit by Michael. Okay, okay, michael doesn’t have a profile picture. Nope, I know. Nope, michael doesn’t have a background image. Michael just joined Facebook, right, so I am highly skeptical Member since this morning.
0:52:43 – Speaker 3
What Member since this morning? Yeah, right Member, member Correct.
0:52:48 – Speaker 1
Not remember. I thought he was saying remember, I know.
0:52:50 – Speaker 3
I can read your face.
0:52:51 – Speaker 2
I know I can read her face.
0:52:53 – Speaker 3
I know, suddenly, I’m shaking Andy Griffith’s door up the head.
0:52:57 – Speaker 1
Okay. So Michael says to me hey, I’m really interested in the keyboard. And then I said, great, it’s still available. And then he says, can you please video yourself typing on the keyboard? Okay, now I’ve learned some things from you. Okay, I’ve learned some things from you Normally.
0:53:25 – Speaker 2
You would have just done it.
0:53:27 – Speaker 1
I would have been like absolutely, I can understand. This is one of those keyboards and they just need to hear the things right, it’s totally fine. He’s not asking and he’s not asking me to do it naked. It’s fine, right.
0:53:37 – Speaker 3
Can you type with your feet?
0:53:38 – Speaker 1
It’s fine. So I don’t respond because I got a little. I got a little weirded out. Okay, because I got. I’ve learned some things from you, because I know I hear you here, you are right here on my shoulder and you’re like, oh, absolutely not. No, shut it, tom. See you, Michael, absolutely not.
0:54:00 – Speaker 3
There’s no angel version of her. It’s just two devils wanting each shoulder Right, right.
0:54:04 – Speaker 1
Right. So then he writes again and says, hey, just checking in, I’m really interested in the keyboard. And then I say, okay, because I still have to be me, I’ll do it when I get home. Okay, I was already home. I was already home, I just needed to buy some time, okay, okay. So then I’m like, oh, I don’t know what to do here. I’m like it’s kind of okay to just send it. But again like is he just trying to look what’s in the background of my house? Like maybe whatever.
So I bring it up to Mark and Mark’s like ASMR. I said what does that mean? He’s like the students into ASMR, he’s 100% loving the fact that you’re just going to type on this keyboard. And I’m like is it? It’s a little weird, right? Mark’s like yeah, absolutely. But is he going to pay you 30 bucks for the video? I said I don’t know, like what is the start of my only fans? So, anyway, I say, all right, pause the TV, I’m going to type on the on the keyboard. So I type on the keyboard right, scott, I’ll send you the video. And I send it. And I’m so nervous at this moment Cause I’m like this is the. How do you send it on Facebook messenger?
0:55:31 – Speaker 3
through, through the marketplace, though, or are you actually okay, yeah?
0:55:35 – Speaker 1
Yeah, we’re not friends. It’s un-message, it’s messaging, but it’s through the marketplace, through marketplace Right.
0:55:41 – Speaker 2
Yeah, but he can see her profile, cause I guarantee you, it’s not private.
0:55:45 – Speaker 1
Well, I did some of its Fort Knox, but not. Our podcast stops. Maybe we got a new listener. Hey, michael. I can’t so he says that’s really great, thank you. Would you take 25? I said no absolutely, oh, absolutely.
So he’s like great, when can we meet up? Nope, no, we’re just real clear. I’m not meeting up with him, but am I going to send Mark? Absolutely, it’s 25 bucks, okay. So I set up the time for Michael and Mark to meet up. They met up yesterday and it was going to be around between four and 430. So Michael then says my mom, jessica, which is not, it doesn’t feel like a mom name to me, but it’s okay, we’ll be there to pick up the keyboard. I said all right, sounds great.
So Mark goes to leave and I say Godspeed, godspeed. I don’t know what you’re about to walk into here, but I think you’re. You’re going to get the $25 for this and you’re going to. They’re meeting up at the Sonoco. So they go to Sonoco. Mark’s got the, he’s got the keyboard right. I’ve now sent the video of the typing and he meets up with Jessica and Mark said Jessica’s got seven kids in the, in the van and he’s like Mark’s like whoa, you got a lot of kids in there, he had a lot of kids. She’s like oh, yeah, you know, christmas is always a little tight or whatever.
Now, I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries lately about kidnapping and all this stuff, so of course, my mind is just going into a million different places. But all of this to say it was a legit deal. We got the 25 bucks passed off the keyboard. Jessica and her nine kids went off down the road. She paid $24 and then $1.25, and that is why it’s good to have healthy skepticism, but also take some risks. I can’t and then also make that money. I can’t make that money, I can’t. Okay.
0:58:08 – Speaker 2
No, you like that. No, so stupid. You like that no?
0:58:13 – Speaker 1
Scott, are you going to put the? Are you going to put the typing video of me in here?
0:58:20 – Speaker 3
Sure. Okay, I can’t Sure you get the sound.
0:58:22 – Speaker 1
Yeah, let’s be quiet for a minute so we can hear the typing. Perfect, I can’t. That’s where Scott’s going to add it?
0:58:30 – Speaker 2
What time are we at Time? I know that every that one minute video took seven minutes. I’m sorry, that’s her storytelling, sorry.
0:58:38 – Speaker 1
It was good storytelling. I took you on quite the ride there too. I bet you did. I don’t think you thought it was going to end like that. I know that every dream in my heart is waiting to bloom. I am ready to grow. Bring it on 2024. I loved that Me too. Isn’t empathy amazing Well we’re amazing.
0:59:04 – Speaker 2
I don’t know about all this empathy stuff.
0:59:06 – Speaker 1
That’s fine. I accept you wherever you are. Oh God, I love you. I love you too, and if you love us, please like and subscribe to More Love the power of empathy podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. See you next time.

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